[This is a party. It is the most excellent party, because it is a NORSE PARTY, and it is a NORSE PARTY before Baldr died and everyone got sad
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[Thor, for his part, is not sure why they invited this guy. He is supposed to be below the sea, out of sight and out of mind, not right here, leaning up against the wall and putting a cold and slithery damper on everyone else's good time. And he is finally drunk enough that he feels like doing something about it.
"Something," in this case, means standing, mug in hand, turning in Jormugandr's general direction, and bellowing at him in a way that is somehow simultaneously cheerful, openly belligerent, and clearly audible to everyone in the hall.]
Hey, serpent! Will you cling close to the hearth this whole night like a woman, or will you come and drink with men?
[oh bitch you did not just call the midgard serpent a girl. Jormungandr detaches himself from the wall, slowly, smoothly, calmly, with all the grace of the snake he is, and looks Thor in the eye with an air of cool disregard for the entire hall.]
I need prove nothing - I have asked only that you prove yourself a man!
But perhaps I am mistaken. If you are no man, serpent, then stay where you are. I will leave you in peace.
[He pauses to finish off this mug of ale - no use leaving it half-full for someone else to steal if he's going to be proving his mettle in a moment. It's practically written on his face - he really hopes Jormungandr doesn't want to stay where he is.]
[That goes by so close, it clips Thor's beard on its way by. Sparing not a thought for whatever poor soul behind him gets to catch it, Thor lets out a booming laugh.]
Well-thrown, for one so long armless! Shall I then come to you?
[Don't answer that, he's on his way over, already gathering momentum for the first punch and looking a mix of wrathful and absolutely joyous.
...He hasn't put down his mug yet, but eh, you only need one free hand to punch a snake in the face.]
[Well, guess it's time to see if these arms and legs are worth anything. But honestly Thor, you're going to run straight at him and expect him to stay where he is?
Nah, he'll just be stepping neatly to the side to avoid that, thanks.]
[WHOOSH yeah Thor is a lot of momentum and speed and not so much maneuverability, augmented by the fact that he is operating at about 60% normal coordination here. But, well, no one's going to die here today - they both know this - and so there is no dishonor in whirling around and going for a swing with the other arm! The one still holding the mug.]
[Unfortunately Thor has the advantage here since Jormungandr has never had to fight in a human body before and isn't entirely certain of how everything works. The mug connects with his face and holy shit that hurts a lot.
Fortunately, what Jormungandr does have on his side is the fact that despite his human form, he still has a great deal of strength and mass conserved from his serpent form. This means that when he goes for an uppercut, which he does, it's going to pack a punch. So to speak.]
[HAHA OW. Thor goes reeling back, because the Midgard Serpent is the Midgard Serpent regardless of current size and that arm is probably about the proportional size and mass of a small continent. He can check for loose teeth later, though - for now, he drops that empty mug and lets out another huge laugh.]
So there is a man's strength hidden within that form!
[AND WITH THAT, IT IS ON. Thor is going to go for a grapple. BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER WRESTLED JORMUNGANDR WHEN HE HAS ARMS BEFORE 8D]
[Jormungandr is starting to realize the benefits of having limbs. It makes fighting the thunder god that much more interesting. Look, now he gets to try to choke Thor! WHAT NOVELTY!]
[Yeah wow Jormungandr has never done that before! He's done the constricting thing plenty of times, of course, but not really this choking. It's new, and that is delightful.
He has also never been small enough that Thor can try to punch him in the gut before. There has always been way too much gut. Thor takes advantage of this opportunity and sinks his fist into Jormungandr's stomach.]
[AW FUCK STOMACH WHAT IS THAT WHY DOES IT MAKE HIM HURT LIKE THAT fuck you thor the absolute astonishment of the punch forces Jormungandr to let go of Thor's neck and stagger back slightly. Fighting like this is so strange gah here have another punch to the face he's not really sure what else to do]
[OW yeah that is going to be a bruise to tell stories about around the fire tomorrow, thanks Jormungandr. Thor steps back briefly to assess the situation.
Or, y'know, yell at the enemy. Same thing really.]
Can you not handle a real man's fight, serpent? I feel your blows, but wonder only if a serving-girl tugs at my sleeve for attention!
[No actually they hurt a lot BUT SAYING SO WOULD BE TELLING.]
[Thor what are you doing. You are leaving yourself wide open, and Jormungandr is going to take full advantage of it. He just steps forward and goes to land one right in Thor's stomach.]
ssshut up you make yourssself sssound like even more of an idiot
"Something," in this case, means standing, mug in hand, turning in Jormugandr's general direction, and bellowing at him in a way that is somehow simultaneously cheerful, openly belligerent, and clearly audible to everyone in the hall.]
Hey, serpent! Will you cling close to the hearth this whole night like a woman, or will you come and drink with men?
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perhapsss i would if there were any here
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It is like a woman to bandy words with other women. Come here and let those who will prove themselves men!
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you mussst be if you insssissst on fighting one you call woman
[He hasn't moved.]
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But perhaps I am mistaken. If you are no man, serpent, then stay where you are. I will leave you in peace.
[He pauses to finish off this mug of ale - no use leaving it half-full for someone else to steal if he's going to be proving his mettle in a moment. It's practically written on his face - he really hopes Jormungandr doesn't want to stay where he is.]
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thor you are such a bastard. Jormungandr's grip so tight it's beginning to crack his mug, but he keeps a calm front.]
you are right
i am no man
i am the midgard ssserpent
[And... oh why not he throws the mug as hard as he can straight for Thor's head.]
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Well-thrown, for one so long armless! Shall I then come to you?
[Don't answer that, he's on his way over, already gathering momentum for the first punch and looking a mix of wrathful and absolutely joyous.
...He hasn't put down his mug yet, but eh, you only need one free hand to punch a snake in the face.]
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Nah, he'll just be stepping neatly to the side to avoid that, thanks.]
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Fortunately, what Jormungandr does have on his side is the fact that despite his human form, he still has a great deal of strength and mass conserved from his serpent form. This means that when he goes for an uppercut, which he does, it's going to pack a punch. So to speak.]
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So there is a man's strength hidden within that form!
[AND WITH THAT, IT IS ON. Thor is going to go for a grapple. BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER WRESTLED JORMUNGANDR WHEN HE HAS ARMS BEFORE 8D]
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He has also never been small enough that Thor can try to punch him in the gut before. There has always been way too much gut. Thor takes advantage of this opportunity and sinks his fist into Jormungandr's stomach.]
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Or, y'know, yell at the enemy. Same thing really.]
Can you not handle a real man's fight, serpent? I feel your blows, but wonder only if a serving-girl tugs at my sleeve for attention!
[No actually they hurt a lot BUT SAYING SO WOULD BE TELLING.]
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ssshut up you make yourssself sssound like even more of an idiot
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