As some of you know, I had a second degree tear with
Fiery's birth. It didn't hurt at all, and I didn't have the whole 'ring of fire' experience, so I wouldn't have even known that I tore if I hadn't looked. After I discovered it, I was pretty freaked out, because I didn't know what I know now about healing. So I share this in hopes of empowering
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1) sex in water is bad. water is bad lube. why then, is a waterbirth touted as preventing tears? i would think that the lack of lube and presence of water woudl make the head 'catch' more.
2) oil application in your vagina or birth canal is supposed to ease childbirth and help prevent tears. i would ASSUME that the oil would speed up the crowning process, making you more likely to tear. therefore, wouldn't an 'ideal' birth be in a semisquat or other good position dry, with no oil/water/perinial massage?
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1) water makes the tissues 'soggier' and stretchier...for instance when stretching my ears, soaking in the tub and/or doing the stretch under water was dramatically easier and less damaging to tissues than it would have been dry, or with only lube.
2. i don't think lube makes it faster but instead smoother and less damaging to tissues...you have heard of the 'road rash' feeling women get on their labia? that can be prevented/eased by using a lubricant. i don't think it speeds up crowning, which is largely affected by descent, not size of the exit, if we're talking about utilizing the fetal ejection reflex. but yes, i agree, IMO birth in a good position with no *nothing* is the best way to go.
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i think i may just get it for labor, and birth dry.
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Maybe next time... if there is a next time...
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I just want you to know how much I appreciate you posting this. I have never read a more detailed account on healing naturally occuring birth tears! Tearing has always been one of my lingering birth fears, and I 100% more confident after reading this.
Thank you so much for writing this! :)
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Everybody always talks about their first time popping their cherry lately. I popped my own cherry masturbating way before I ever had sex, and the first chick I ever talked to about this had done the same thing. Neither of us had a hymen when we "did it" for the first time. So I assumed that was common, or at least heard of - especially when I read some things afterward talking about how you can damage or destroy your hymen in all sorts of ways - like falling on the bar of a boys' bike, horseback riding, etc etc.
But now I realize that much of bethrothal and aristocracy in years' passed depended on that little flap of skin, and that many a romance novel is based around it, and I keep hearing people reference it...sometimes I wonder if Grant wonders if he was REALLY my first time, seeings how there was no blood or pain involved.
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my first time didn't hurt either, but that's because it was with an irishman ;)
p.s. most people don't masturbate by having sex!
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Clitoral junk is good, but clitoral + other stuff is grrrrreEAT. Or something.
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