When i fell in love with Buffy'n'Spike
When i fell in love with Buffy'n'Spike
With all the mental strain season 8 put on me i thought it'd be more healthy to revisit the places i actually love about BtVS.
A recent discussion on penny_lane_42 's LJ, following her lovely Meta of Buffy and Spike turned my thoughts on the romance of Buffy'n'Spike and why and when i fell in love with the two together.
But in chronological order:
When BtVS aired, i was immediately spellbound: The opening scene of "Welcome to the Hellmouth" captivated me, and i wanted to know how this story goes on! Episode after episode, i fell in love with the show and the heroine all over again and again. I've never been in any fandom before (or after), i'm just not that interested in TV pop culture in general. But this show, it got me. Then, as with every good high school drama, romance got a spotlight on BtVS: Angel entered the scene. A creepy guy, a mysterious guy, someone with a dark secret, flirting with the heroine. He wasn't much of a character, then, but as season 2 came along i was hooked. Not because Angel is such a great guy or such a nice piece of manflesh (the big, dark, hulking type doesn't do much for me) - but because Buffy loved him. And i love Buffy. I wished for a break for these two. A moment of happiness. Well, i got one! It was marvellous. The story went to all these dark and fascinating places, exploring all the right things and Becoming was everything. I mean, really. It is just that good. So, to make a long story short, when i saw Becoming i was a Buffy and Angel "shipper" (of course i didn't know what that means at that time and i'm still uncertain of it today. I don't consider myself a "shipper" of any kind, because i'm madly in love with good stories and good storytelling and i'm willing to roll with nearly anything as long as the story is fascinating and worthy of my intellect - ego much? ;-)).
Along came season 3 and the story of Buffy and Angel somehow dragged on. Of course i wanted a moment of happiness for "my" Buffy - but Angel was obviously the wrong choice to give that moment. The angst over that romance just didn't get to me - because season 2 already went to all the really interesting places before. Then, Angel was gone and there went my love for Buffy and Angel (I will remember You was just the coffin lid being closed forever with a loud bang).
In comes season 4. I'll forego that Parker guy since Beer Bad said everything about that. But then, Riley. I'll admit it, the arian nazi soldier type is one of my turn-offs. Really. Of course i know that this description is not doing justice to the character of Riley and there are moments of the show when i felt sympathy for him. Perhaps i would have liked him in the end if season 4 had explored the Dr. Mengele/fascism angle instead of the Adam/monster angle. But, i love Buffy. And Riley, well he was good for Buffy. She was happy. It was even hinted that the two of them had a happy sex life. So, go! them! I liked the relationship because it gave Buffy a break (on the romance front). Perhaps Riley could change enough to be really there for Buffy. (Of course not! Where would have been the drama in that?!)
So, season 5 rolled along and Spike entered the romance stage. Hints and hints of a possible Buffy and Spike romance. Well, in reality Spike entered the scene long ago and perhaps this is the right moment to say that i really wanted to see and hear a concert of that band Buffy and Spike fabricated to placate Joyce in season 2.... ;-)
A first glimpse of the possibilities of a possible Buffy and Spike romance aired with Intervention. (I mean all the interesting places such a romance could go - of course we got Lover's Walk before, and, as i said, Becoming , and even before that School Hard and so on and so forth.) But, it didn't hook me up. It showed just a mere possibility for a great love story. I was happy that Buffy and Spike got more and more screen time together as the dynamics between those two are just great. As enemies, allies, antagonists, unfriendly friends, whatever. Those two sharing screen time? Yeah, gimme more! But romance - that was a long shot. Then Buffy died (and i cried).
In retrospect that death gave me the greatest TV show time ever: Season 6. I adore Mutant Enemy for their courage to go to that place, to explore depression in such intimacy, so careful, sensible and loving, the frailty of the human psyche as well as the strength of it. It is my favourite TV show time of all times. No, it is not mere entertainment. Not just a continuation of an interesting story. It is a moment when pop culture got me back. If pop culture is able to go to such a place - it cannot be all that evil (insert Georg Seeßlen's essay on pop culture and fascism here). But back to Buffy and romance. Smashed was the first hook in my heart - and not because it's hot! But because it foretold the story we were getting at: That dark place again. The exploration of the deviant. The abyss of the human mind. The dark underbelly of the human soul (insert de Sade, Bataille, Foucault - the french certainly thought a lot about that!).No, the episode when i fell in love with Buffy'n'Spike was Dead Things. What a rich episode! Layer upon layer, metaphor upon metaphor. gabrielleabelle explored that episode in depth - go read it!
Dead Things has so many great Buffy'n'Spike moments, from Buffy being in love with death, to handcuffs, to shadow and darkness on the balcony of the Bronze to intimacy with doors (!) (Buffy's door to the underworld, Spike's door out of his grave, the door to each other's hearts, that which separates them, the possibilities of going in or out, ...). And. Then. That back alley scene! That back alley beating burned it's way into my heart forever. It is the culmination of all those moments that lead up to Buffy'n'Spike. It is metaphor. It is character interaction. It is Buffy, it is Spike, and it is Buffy'n'Spike. I felt so much for Buffy, i cried for her (as opposed to The Gift, where i cried for myself).
I know a lot of fans have serious problems with that scene in the back alley, some never forgiving Buffy for it, some thinking that this is a breaking point for Spike - but in this instance, i side with them both: Buffy, trying to beat death itself, trying to beat herself, at her rope's end. Caressing Spike's face with her fists. And, of course, she is not able to kill death, no matter how hard she tries. And, Spike. He's so strong: "Lay it all on me, baby". He never mentions that beating later - because it is not a breaking point for him. It is his (twisted) way of showing his romantic love for Buffy. He doesn't need to forgive her for that - it is not even a wrongdoing on his radar. It is also cheesy as hell, the "bravest knight in all of the land" taking a beating for his lady - even if the beating comes from the lady herself. It is so much William, victorian gentleman, knight in black leather - i fell hard. "You hurt the ones You love" is so, so true at that moment, both of them being in such (different) bad places and still together. Giving all they have to give at that moment in time.
So there you have it: That's the moment i fell in love with Buffy'n'Spike!
With all the mental strain season 8 put on me i thought it'd be more healthy to revisit the places i actually love about BtVS.
A recent discussion on penny_lane_42 's LJ, following her lovely Meta of Buffy and Spike turned my thoughts on the romance of Buffy'n'Spike and why and when i fell in love with the two together.
But in chronological order:
When BtVS aired, i was immediately spellbound: The opening scene of "Welcome to the Hellmouth" captivated me, and i wanted to know how this story goes on! Episode after episode, i fell in love with the show and the heroine all over again and again. I've never been in any fandom before (or after), i'm just not that interested in TV pop culture in general. But this show, it got me. Then, as with every good high school drama, romance got a spotlight on BtVS: Angel entered the scene. A creepy guy, a mysterious guy, someone with a dark secret, flirting with the heroine. He wasn't much of a character, then, but as season 2 came along i was hooked. Not because Angel is such a great guy or such a nice piece of manflesh (the big, dark, hulking type doesn't do much for me) - but because Buffy loved him. And i love Buffy. I wished for a break for these two. A moment of happiness. Well, i got one! It was marvellous. The story went to all these dark and fascinating places, exploring all the right things and Becoming was everything. I mean, really. It is just that good. So, to make a long story short, when i saw Becoming i was a Buffy and Angel "shipper" (of course i didn't know what that means at that time and i'm still uncertain of it today. I don't consider myself a "shipper" of any kind, because i'm madly in love with good stories and good storytelling and i'm willing to roll with nearly anything as long as the story is fascinating and worthy of my intellect - ego much? ;-)).
Along came season 3 and the story of Buffy and Angel somehow dragged on. Of course i wanted a moment of happiness for "my" Buffy - but Angel was obviously the wrong choice to give that moment. The angst over that romance just didn't get to me - because season 2 already went to all the really interesting places before. Then, Angel was gone and there went my love for Buffy and Angel (I will remember You was just the coffin lid being closed forever with a loud bang).
In comes season 4. I'll forego that Parker guy since Beer Bad said everything about that. But then, Riley. I'll admit it, the arian nazi soldier type is one of my turn-offs. Really. Of course i know that this description is not doing justice to the character of Riley and there are moments of the show when i felt sympathy for him. Perhaps i would have liked him in the end if season 4 had explored the Dr. Mengele/fascism angle instead of the Adam/monster angle. But, i love Buffy. And Riley, well he was good for Buffy. She was happy. It was even hinted that the two of them had a happy sex life. So, go! them! I liked the relationship because it gave Buffy a break (on the romance front). Perhaps Riley could change enough to be really there for Buffy. (Of course not! Where would have been the drama in that?!)
So, season 5 rolled along and Spike entered the romance stage. Hints and hints of a possible Buffy and Spike romance. Well, in reality Spike entered the scene long ago and perhaps this is the right moment to say that i really wanted to see and hear a concert of that band Buffy and Spike fabricated to placate Joyce in season 2.... ;-)
A first glimpse of the possibilities of a possible Buffy and Spike romance aired with Intervention. (I mean all the interesting places such a romance could go - of course we got Lover's Walk before, and, as i said, Becoming , and even before that School Hard and so on and so forth.) But, it didn't hook me up. It showed just a mere possibility for a great love story. I was happy that Buffy and Spike got more and more screen time together as the dynamics between those two are just great. As enemies, allies, antagonists, unfriendly friends, whatever. Those two sharing screen time? Yeah, gimme more! But romance - that was a long shot. Then Buffy died (and i cried).
In retrospect that death gave me the greatest TV show time ever: Season 6. I adore Mutant Enemy for their courage to go to that place, to explore depression in such intimacy, so careful, sensible and loving, the frailty of the human psyche as well as the strength of it. It is my favourite TV show time of all times. No, it is not mere entertainment. Not just a continuation of an interesting story. It is a moment when pop culture got me back. If pop culture is able to go to such a place - it cannot be all that evil (insert Georg Seeßlen's essay on pop culture and fascism here). But back to Buffy and romance. Smashed was the first hook in my heart - and not because it's hot! But because it foretold the story we were getting at: That dark place again. The exploration of the deviant. The abyss of the human mind. The dark underbelly of the human soul (insert de Sade, Bataille, Foucault - the french certainly thought a lot about that!).No, the episode when i fell in love with Buffy'n'Spike was Dead Things. What a rich episode! Layer upon layer, metaphor upon metaphor. gabrielleabelle explored that episode in depth - go read it!
Dead Things has so many great Buffy'n'Spike moments, from Buffy being in love with death, to handcuffs, to shadow and darkness on the balcony of the Bronze to intimacy with doors (!) (Buffy's door to the underworld, Spike's door out of his grave, the door to each other's hearts, that which separates them, the possibilities of going in or out, ...). And. Then. That back alley scene! That back alley beating burned it's way into my heart forever. It is the culmination of all those moments that lead up to Buffy'n'Spike. It is metaphor. It is character interaction. It is Buffy, it is Spike, and it is Buffy'n'Spike. I felt so much for Buffy, i cried for her (as opposed to The Gift, where i cried for myself).
I know a lot of fans have serious problems with that scene in the back alley, some never forgiving Buffy for it, some thinking that this is a breaking point for Spike - but in this instance, i side with them both: Buffy, trying to beat death itself, trying to beat herself, at her rope's end. Caressing Spike's face with her fists. And, of course, she is not able to kill death, no matter how hard she tries. And, Spike. He's so strong: "Lay it all on me, baby". He never mentions that beating later - because it is not a breaking point for him. It is his (twisted) way of showing his romantic love for Buffy. He doesn't need to forgive her for that - it is not even a wrongdoing on his radar. It is also cheesy as hell, the "bravest knight in all of the land" taking a beating for his lady - even if the beating comes from the lady herself. It is so much William, victorian gentleman, knight in black leather - i fell hard. "You hurt the ones You love" is so, so true at that moment, both of them being in such (different) bad places and still together. Giving all they have to give at that moment in time.
So there you have it: That's the moment i fell in love with Buffy'n'Spike!