Comments | nosce: one of Those Moms

nosce

one of Those Moms

Sep 08, 2010 19:04

I'm slowly becoming one of Those Moms. I get stroller envy and use the fancy one we've got constantly. I don't babywear at all anymore because frankly Iris is over a quarter of my weight now and beyond that, I can't handle pressure on my abdomen while pregnant. Suddenly I'm slower to judge about parenting choices when I know nothing about the ( Read more... )

beautiful, iris, reflections, change, pregnancy

Comments 10

ohbabyoh September 9 2010, 03:41:56 UTC

Oh, you know so much of that resonates with me. Yep, I pushed Raina in a stroller when I was pregnant with Robin. Yep, Robin's been in a stroller a few times already, before he's even six months old, just because it was too damned hot out to wear a sweaty 20-lbs baby on my front. Yep, Lynden was weaned when Raina was four months old, just weeks shy of his 2nd birthday, because I just couldn't stand to tandem nurse anymore. And yep, I'll feel guilty about weaning him until the day I die ( ... )

ohbabyoh September 9 2010, 03:44:07 UTC

(I know you don't feel guilty about daycare and that's so fantastic - I wish I could feel the same)

nosce September 9 2010, 04:58:30 UTC

It IS hard to be pregnant and care for others! I'm really struggling, and among other things (like finding a group of real life women/mothers to be friends with) my midwife encouraged me to attend yoga classes. To nourish my own body, away from those I routinely nourish.

<3

ewigweibliche September 9 2010, 06:51:22 UTC

You know I think you're being way too harsh on yourself. I really miss babywearing but when we moved here when B was 15 months old and live up a big hill, he was too big for me to babywear up it. I love our massive stroller: it's got big ol' wheels and great ergonomics, we put groceries at the bottom of it, and it's got a clear plastic rain fly. Love it! But I'll go back to babywearing the next one ( ... )

nosce September 18 2010, 16:33:02 UTC

I don't think I'm harsh on myself now. I think I WAS harsh on myself a year ago. I would have rather suffered through than made adjustments to our lives.

(The comment has been removed)

nosce September 18 2010, 16:31:51 UTC

I think that there's a general misunderstanding of AP because like everything else, extremists give it a bad name for all of us semi-crunchy parents. It's why I've stepped away from a lot of online parenting resources- when suddenly me, the Perfectionist, is feeling lacking and like I will never be good enough as a parent, I need to go home. I'm never going to be able to check everything off the AP list, but it's not supposed to be an end-all list anyway. It was created to show parents what helps foster attachment, and what doesn't. It doesn't mean that if you don't bedshare you're not going to have an attached kid. And it doesn't mean if you give a pacifier your child won't breastfeed well. First and foremost, think of what works for your own family ( ... )

wonderful! the_depraved September 11 2010, 22:32:43 UTC

it made me smile so big to read this entry- i think it's great that you've relaxed away from the very AP mindset and understand that sometimes life gets in the way and that there's nothing wrong with adjusting in whatever way you see fit. YOU are the mom doing what is best for YOUR family, making sure you adhere to some list of guidelines is silly and impractical.

i didn't know that you were pregnant again! i notice that you took me off your friends list (not miffed at all by the way) so i assume that's why i didn't see any postings, but congratulations =) how far along are you?

Re: wonderful! nosce September 18 2010, 16:25:59 UTC

It's not so much that I've relaxed away from AP- I possessed AP values before I ever knew it had a name- but that my evolution as a parent is bringing me to a more relaxed place. I think we all take our hunches, learn there's an organized place for them, gain some great things, and then slowly realize if we stay there, we'll never be good enough. And so we take what we learned, and gracefully step out, back into our own lives. I hope that's what I've done here.

I'm 19 weeks pregnant now and will be finding out the gender on Tuesday. I've got a photo blog on Wordpress that I keep up on more than LJ and you can find out more news as it happens right there:
http://iris365.wordpress.com

miss_swamp February 20 2012, 16:34:45 UTC

ewigweibliche speaks so highly about you that I had to click through. ;)

This post is so lovely and so familiar. I was convinced that I was going to babywear and 100% breastfeed until it was time to start making all my own baby food. And then it turned out it was twins (though I could still wear both for a while) and that, medically, no matter what the LCs say, I can't make enough milk for one, let alone two.

I don't post as often as I like (either on LJ or on my GF blog), but I'd love to connect more.

nosce February 24 2012, 18:38:30 UTC

I think in all our effort to be a fabulous mom we forget that we have to be the mom we are. I didn't think I'd have a high needs child with dye allergies. Because of this, my parenting style's become different than what I had envisioned while pregnant with Iris.

The point is that we have to constantly change and adapt, because what worked yesterday might not work again tomorrow. Parenthood is about being flexible, about surrender.

I've added you; you should be able to see a lot more in the way of posts now, though I don't often post here these days. Most of my photo/family posts go to my blog, at

www.everydaylifemagic.com