Funniest song ever.
Cold.
Very cold.
Dark.
Very very dark.
No sun.
No fun.
Penguins must sing.
Men.
Women.
Crabs.
Seals.
Giant crabs.
Giant women.
Whales.
Dolphins.
Porpoises.
Octopi.
Smelts.
Sandsnakes.
Brown mice.
Tortoises.
Starfishes.
Horny toads.
All, all are becoming extinct.
Every form of life.
Clams.
Slugs.
Theater.
All dying, dying, due to the ice age and to federal cutbacks.
But look, there is some hope! For there goes Nina, the would-be actress, flying once again to the moon, where she will work and perfect her craft. Look at her, soaring above the clouds. She has become a seagull.
And where does that leave me?
Every day is fish
Fish and swimming and fear
Every day a shark comes by and grins from ear to ear.
Here I am, a bird
That never got off the ground
Here I sit, bird on ice
I flap my flippers, but no dice
Oh, when will penguins fly
And find the joy we seek?
Oh, when will we transcend our squat physique?
I know why feathers molt
And why sardines must die
So tell me, please, why penguins should not fly?
Everything's black and white
Like very early TV
We all look so much alike, I'm not sure this is me
We've become a joke
A souvenir store cliche
What kind of vicious creator would make a bird look like a waiter?
Oh, when will penguins fly
And float off in the blue?
Oh, when will heaven be for penguins too?
We're waddling in the dark
We long to reach the sky
So tell me, please, why penguins should not fly.
Behold Constantine, disenchanted poet on the verge of self-destruction.
But life goes on, and people continue to smoke. And commit adultery. And forget where they left their glasses. And nothing ever happens!
We're waddling in the dark
The laughingstockl of birds
For what we feel, there are no penguin words
And yet we won't despair
If we can't leave the ground
We'll fill the air with every penguin sound
In spite of all the pain this age of ice may bring
Penguins must sing.
Sing.
Sing!