Character interview
Character interview, like they tell you to do on writing websites. Really just playing around. Character name is from a fantasy world I've been building, but I dunno if the character will amount to anything.
The Interviewer: Aka "The Author", the interviewer is a magical, omnipotent being. He glides over the storyline, appearing shimmery and ethereal to the characters. He acts as a silent puppeteer, pulling their strings.
The Character: Named "Allyandra" (that's 3 syllables, not 4). 11 years old. Dirty-blonde hair, slight of build, oval-ish face. My notes have her down as an heir to a murdered Rohyran family, raised from the age of 7 by a poor family in the slums, until discovered by a mage talent-searcher. She will likely disagree with me on that.
The Setting: A dark, cold dungeon. No wait, that's cliche. A dark, cold castle. A little better. Castles were dark and cold, at least. A dark, cold wardrobe in a dark, cold castle on a dark, cold island in a dark cold kingdom.
Interviewer (IV): What the hell are you doing in that closet?
Allyandra (AY): You put me here. Duh. Try to be a little more creative next time. It could've been a laundromat, for example. Or a sewage treatment plant.
IV: *taken aback* Watch your anachronisms, young lady! You're stuck in the middle ages, whether you like it or not.
AY: What if I don't want to be stuck in the middle ages? What if I want to see the future? What if I think this is a dirty shithole and wish you'd set me down in the year 2050 instead of some dreary fantasy novel?
IV: Hmm. That's an idea. Will you behave if I give you a nice sci-fi part?
AY: No. But I get to play with cool lasers.
IV: You're hopeless. Why don't you settle for being a powerful witch like every other character in this story?
AY: Because then I'd be ordinary. I want to be exceptional! I want to be the star!
IV: Braggart.
AY: *blushes slightly* Maybe a little. But do I have to be like everyone else? That's so dull!
IV: I can't let you hog the story. Then you'd turn into a Mary Sue.
AY: So write me as one and get it out of your system?
IV: Nice try.
AY: Hey, it could've worked.
IV: So...you're not actually helping much, y'know. We haven't worked out a single character detail. Other than plopping you down in the future.
AY: Canyoucanyoucanyou?
IV: I'll think about it.
AY: Yay! I want a lightsaber too! And a Death Star!
IV: THIS IS NOT STAR WARS FANFIC.
AY: A wand and a patronus then?
IV: NOT HARRY POTTER EITHER.
AY: *sulks* Fine. I'll go back to my world. If you insist.
IV: Good. Okay, let's talk about Rohyr. That's your birth-country...do you feel any attachment to it?
AY: Eh. It's home. Mostly I got to know the back alleyways really well. There's nothing special about them.
IV: What about before then, when you had a real family, in one of the richest houses of Rohyr?
AY: I barely remember it.
IV: Surely you must have some memories.
AY: *whispers* Can we talk about something else?
IV: Come on, the damaged-child-who-blocks-out-part-of-her-childhood is soooo cliched.
AY: *tear*
IV: All right, you win. You're very emotionally manipulative, you know.
AY: *cry*
IV: Okay, okay, I didn't mean it! Here, have some candy...*produces a toffee out of thin air* Can we get on with this?
AY: *softly* I miss them...
IV: *more tenderly* Do you want to talk about it more.
AY: No.
IV: It's fiction.
AY: NO!
IV: All right.
AY: *sucks on a lock of hair*
IV: Look, okay, I'm not good at writing kids your age. I'm not good at writing anyone, really. Youngest character I've done anything significant with was 13-year-old Harry.
AY: You're a mean old man.
IV: Maybe so, but you're still my character, and you have to do what I want you to.
AY: I haven't been doing it so far.
IV: Damn straight.
AY: You said "Damn!" *giggles* Wait till I tell the master of the house!
IV: He's my character too.
AY: Oh. *looks thoughtful* When do I get to be the author?
IV: When you grow up and write a book-within-a-book.
AY: Can I write you in and make you do what I want then?
IV: I suppose.
AY: I'm going to, y'know.
IV: I'm sure you will.
AY: And I'm going to make you quack like an oliphant.
IV: Oliphants don't quack.
AY: In my book they do.
IV: I fear.
AY: *beams*
I think that's enough for now, though I'm going to continue this in another post. My characters hate me. No really, I mean they literally hate me. Oh well...I suppose this was a good idea. Might as well show me just how contemptuous of me they really are.
The Interviewer: Aka "The Author", the interviewer is a magical, omnipotent being. He glides over the storyline, appearing shimmery and ethereal to the characters. He acts as a silent puppeteer, pulling their strings.
The Character: Named "Allyandra" (that's 3 syllables, not 4). 11 years old. Dirty-blonde hair, slight of build, oval-ish face. My notes have her down as an heir to a murdered Rohyran family, raised from the age of 7 by a poor family in the slums, until discovered by a mage talent-searcher. She will likely disagree with me on that.
The Setting: A dark, cold dungeon. No wait, that's cliche. A dark, cold castle. A little better. Castles were dark and cold, at least. A dark, cold wardrobe in a dark, cold castle on a dark, cold island in a dark cold kingdom.
Interviewer (IV): What the hell are you doing in that closet?
Allyandra (AY): You put me here. Duh. Try to be a little more creative next time. It could've been a laundromat, for example. Or a sewage treatment plant.
IV: *taken aback* Watch your anachronisms, young lady! You're stuck in the middle ages, whether you like it or not.
AY: What if I don't want to be stuck in the middle ages? What if I want to see the future? What if I think this is a dirty shithole and wish you'd set me down in the year 2050 instead of some dreary fantasy novel?
IV: Hmm. That's an idea. Will you behave if I give you a nice sci-fi part?
AY: No. But I get to play with cool lasers.
IV: You're hopeless. Why don't you settle for being a powerful witch like every other character in this story?
AY: Because then I'd be ordinary. I want to be exceptional! I want to be the star!
IV: Braggart.
AY: *blushes slightly* Maybe a little. But do I have to be like everyone else? That's so dull!
IV: I can't let you hog the story. Then you'd turn into a Mary Sue.
AY: So write me as one and get it out of your system?
IV: Nice try.
AY: Hey, it could've worked.
IV: So...you're not actually helping much, y'know. We haven't worked out a single character detail. Other than plopping you down in the future.
AY: Canyoucanyoucanyou?
IV: I'll think about it.
AY: Yay! I want a lightsaber too! And a Death Star!
IV: THIS IS NOT STAR WARS FANFIC.
AY: A wand and a patronus then?
IV: NOT HARRY POTTER EITHER.
AY: *sulks* Fine. I'll go back to my world. If you insist.
IV: Good. Okay, let's talk about Rohyr. That's your birth-country...do you feel any attachment to it?
AY: Eh. It's home. Mostly I got to know the back alleyways really well. There's nothing special about them.
IV: What about before then, when you had a real family, in one of the richest houses of Rohyr?
AY: I barely remember it.
IV: Surely you must have some memories.
AY: *whispers* Can we talk about something else?
IV: Come on, the damaged-child-who-blocks-out-part-of-her-childhood is soooo cliched.
AY: *tear*
IV: All right, you win. You're very emotionally manipulative, you know.
AY: *cry*
IV: Okay, okay, I didn't mean it! Here, have some candy...*produces a toffee out of thin air* Can we get on with this?
AY: *softly* I miss them...
IV: *more tenderly* Do you want to talk about it more.
AY: No.
IV: It's fiction.
AY: NO!
IV: All right.
AY: *sucks on a lock of hair*
IV: Look, okay, I'm not good at writing kids your age. I'm not good at writing anyone, really. Youngest character I've done anything significant with was 13-year-old Harry.
AY: You're a mean old man.
IV: Maybe so, but you're still my character, and you have to do what I want you to.
AY: I haven't been doing it so far.
IV: Damn straight.
AY: You said "Damn!" *giggles* Wait till I tell the master of the house!
IV: He's my character too.
AY: Oh. *looks thoughtful* When do I get to be the author?
IV: When you grow up and write a book-within-a-book.
AY: Can I write you in and make you do what I want then?
IV: I suppose.
AY: I'm going to, y'know.
IV: I'm sure you will.
AY: And I'm going to make you quack like an oliphant.
IV: Oliphants don't quack.
AY: In my book they do.
IV: I fear.
AY: *beams*
I think that's enough for now, though I'm going to continue this in another post. My characters hate me. No really, I mean they literally hate me. Oh well...I suppose this was a good idea. Might as well show me just how contemptuous of me they really are.