Deathly Hallows fic
Y'know, it's been like 4 years since I last wrote fic. I dunno why I'm doing it now, should probably be working on my startup, but...
"Altogether, then..."
Harry watched as Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Fleur, and Mundungus all drank their Polyjuice. Their features began to change, morphing quickly into...him. It was quite disconcerting, really, to watch six friends all become his reflection. Almost like looking into the hall of mirrors in a funhouse.
Fred and George - at least, he thought it was Fred and George - turned to each other and said togethher, "Wow - we're identical!" They paused briefly, glancing quickly over each others' features.
Fred looked over at his reflection in the kettle. "I dunno, though, I think I'm still better looking."
George stared intently at Fred, looking deeply into his eyes. And then he looked down at his own body - or Harry's body, really, but that's rather ambiguous. "Yeah, you are."
And then, before Harry could stop them, they were snogging. George took Fred's face (well, Fred!Harry's face) in his hands and kissed him full on the lips. They started going at it, hot and heavy.
"Is it still incest if we have the same body?" Fred asked.
"I dunno. It seems more like masturbation to me," George replied.
"Oh, that's cool. I've done plenty of that."
"TMI! TMI!" Ron replied. "I did not want to know that!"
"What's the matter Ron? We hear you screaming Hermione's name all the time late at night, when you don't think anyone can hear."
One of the Harrys - presumably Hermione - blushed, but you could tell that she was secretly pleased. She started looking furtively over towards Ron, repressed lust in her eyes.
Harry (the real one) could not believe this was happening. "You guys did not just all turn into me so you could grope each other."
Fred pulled his lips away from George long enough to reply. "No, but now that we're you, it doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Damn, Harry, Ginny must not have taken care of you. This body's libido is through the roof."
"Guys..." Harry whined. He glanced over at the other aurors, looking for assistance. "Don't we have to get out of here soon?"
They just looked at him with amusement.
Moody cleared his throat. "Ahem," he began. "Those whose clothes are a bit roomy, I've got smaller here, and vice versa. Don't forget the glasses, there's six pairs in the side pocket. You might want to see what you're snogging. And when you're dressed - " he paused, indicating that there was no expectation of hurrying along " - there's luggage in the other sack."
The six doppelgangers began stripping off their clothes with wild abandon. Clearly, they couldn't wait to expose his naked body to the world.
"Bah," said the Fleur, checking out her (well, Harry's) naked body in the microwave door, "Bill, don't look at me - I'm 'ideous."
Then, to Harry's amazement, she started playing with herself! Or maybe playing with himself, as ownership of his body was not quite clear. "Er, you really don't need to do that," said Harry.
"Oh look! Zere eez a snake between my legz," she said, fiddling with Harry's intimate regions. "Bill, it eez bigger zan yours!"
Bill facepalmed, but Fleur merely started stroking herself. "Eet veelz good!" she yelled. "Bill, 'ow come eet never veelz like zis vhen you do eet!"
Harry felt his cheeks flame. He couldn't watch - this was just too embarrassing.
Unfortunately, wherever he turned, the scene wasn't much better. "Harry, your eyesight really is awful," said a Harry that sounded like Hermione. She was putting on glasses and then carefully examining the chest of another Harry, who Harry took to be Ron. "I don't see anything."
"I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo," said Ron.
"Will you two stop checking me out and get dressed?"
Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment, then glanced over at Ron. "Nah," she began. "I've always wondered what it'd be like to get naked with you. And it's not cheating if you're really Ron."
Ron attempted a shout of indignation, but his "Hey!" was muffled by Hermione's pounce. Within moments, they were rolling around passionately on the floor.
Harry turned away in disgust. Over in the corner, a Harry that could only be Mundungus sat with his head between his legs. Harry went over to him. "At least you're not treating this like a giant orgy," Harry began, and then stopped short when he realized what Mundungus was doing. "Errr..."
Mundungus looked up at him. "I always wanted to suck my own dick, but my body's not flexible enough. Yours, however...you're very good at swallowing Snitch."
Harry exploded. "WILL EVERYBODY STOP SCREWING AROUND AND GET DRESSED! YOU-KNOW-WHO WILL BE HERE ANY SECOND!"
Nobody listened.
He ran up to two snogging Harrys and pulled them apart. "Ron and Hermione, this is not the time..."
"I'm not Ron," one replied.
"I'm not Hermione," said the other.
"I'm Ron!" came a shout from behind the sofa. "And rather busy at the moment." A few sketchy noises followed. "That's probably Fred and George."
"VOLDEMORT IS COMING!" Harry yelled.
"So am I," gasped Ron, from behind the sofa.
"So am I," squealed Hermione - Harry didn't even know he could squeal like that - from the same general direction.
"So am I," chorused Fred and George, in unison.
"So am I," replied Mundungus, off in the corner.
"Zo eez I," replied his own voice, in Fleur's accent.
Just then, a large bang burst down the front door. Voldemort stood at the threshold. "My, my. Caught with your pants down, Potter? Such a messy scene we have here. I'm sure you've left the best for me."
And that is how Harry - all seven of him - ended up with a little bit of Voldemort inside of him.
"Altogether, then..."
Harry watched as Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Fleur, and Mundungus all drank their Polyjuice. Their features began to change, morphing quickly into...him. It was quite disconcerting, really, to watch six friends all become his reflection. Almost like looking into the hall of mirrors in a funhouse.
Fred and George - at least, he thought it was Fred and George - turned to each other and said togethher, "Wow - we're identical!" They paused briefly, glancing quickly over each others' features.
Fred looked over at his reflection in the kettle. "I dunno, though, I think I'm still better looking."
George stared intently at Fred, looking deeply into his eyes. And then he looked down at his own body - or Harry's body, really, but that's rather ambiguous. "Yeah, you are."
And then, before Harry could stop them, they were snogging. George took Fred's face (well, Fred!Harry's face) in his hands and kissed him full on the lips. They started going at it, hot and heavy.
"Is it still incest if we have the same body?" Fred asked.
"I dunno. It seems more like masturbation to me," George replied.
"Oh, that's cool. I've done plenty of that."
"TMI! TMI!" Ron replied. "I did not want to know that!"
"What's the matter Ron? We hear you screaming Hermione's name all the time late at night, when you don't think anyone can hear."
One of the Harrys - presumably Hermione - blushed, but you could tell that she was secretly pleased. She started looking furtively over towards Ron, repressed lust in her eyes.
Harry (the real one) could not believe this was happening. "You guys did not just all turn into me so you could grope each other."
Fred pulled his lips away from George long enough to reply. "No, but now that we're you, it doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Damn, Harry, Ginny must not have taken care of you. This body's libido is through the roof."
"Guys..." Harry whined. He glanced over at the other aurors, looking for assistance. "Don't we have to get out of here soon?"
They just looked at him with amusement.
Moody cleared his throat. "Ahem," he began. "Those whose clothes are a bit roomy, I've got smaller here, and vice versa. Don't forget the glasses, there's six pairs in the side pocket. You might want to see what you're snogging. And when you're dressed - " he paused, indicating that there was no expectation of hurrying along " - there's luggage in the other sack."
The six doppelgangers began stripping off their clothes with wild abandon. Clearly, they couldn't wait to expose his naked body to the world.
"Bah," said the Fleur, checking out her (well, Harry's) naked body in the microwave door, "Bill, don't look at me - I'm 'ideous."
Then, to Harry's amazement, she started playing with herself! Or maybe playing with himself, as ownership of his body was not quite clear. "Er, you really don't need to do that," said Harry.
"Oh look! Zere eez a snake between my legz," she said, fiddling with Harry's intimate regions. "Bill, it eez bigger zan yours!"
Bill facepalmed, but Fleur merely started stroking herself. "Eet veelz good!" she yelled. "Bill, 'ow come eet never veelz like zis vhen you do eet!"
Harry felt his cheeks flame. He couldn't watch - this was just too embarrassing.
Unfortunately, wherever he turned, the scene wasn't much better. "Harry, your eyesight really is awful," said a Harry that sounded like Hermione. She was putting on glasses and then carefully examining the chest of another Harry, who Harry took to be Ron. "I don't see anything."
"I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo," said Ron.
"Will you two stop checking me out and get dressed?"
Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment, then glanced over at Ron. "Nah," she began. "I've always wondered what it'd be like to get naked with you. And it's not cheating if you're really Ron."
Ron attempted a shout of indignation, but his "Hey!" was muffled by Hermione's pounce. Within moments, they were rolling around passionately on the floor.
Harry turned away in disgust. Over in the corner, a Harry that could only be Mundungus sat with his head between his legs. Harry went over to him. "At least you're not treating this like a giant orgy," Harry began, and then stopped short when he realized what Mundungus was doing. "Errr..."
Mundungus looked up at him. "I always wanted to suck my own dick, but my body's not flexible enough. Yours, however...you're very good at swallowing Snitch."
Harry exploded. "WILL EVERYBODY STOP SCREWING AROUND AND GET DRESSED! YOU-KNOW-WHO WILL BE HERE ANY SECOND!"
Nobody listened.
He ran up to two snogging Harrys and pulled them apart. "Ron and Hermione, this is not the time..."
"I'm not Ron," one replied.
"I'm not Hermione," said the other.
"I'm Ron!" came a shout from behind the sofa. "And rather busy at the moment." A few sketchy noises followed. "That's probably Fred and George."
"VOLDEMORT IS COMING!" Harry yelled.
"So am I," gasped Ron, from behind the sofa.
"So am I," squealed Hermione - Harry didn't even know he could squeal like that - from the same general direction.
"So am I," chorused Fred and George, in unison.
"So am I," replied Mundungus, off in the corner.
"Zo eez I," replied his own voice, in Fleur's accent.
Just then, a large bang burst down the front door. Voldemort stood at the threshold. "My, my. Caught with your pants down, Potter? Such a messy scene we have here. I'm sure you've left the best for me."
And that is how Harry - all seven of him - ended up with a little bit of Voldemort inside of him.