304 - ficlet, Justin POV - Longing
Title:Longing - 304 Gapfiller, isn't that a spectacular title?
Warning:Angst, NC-17
A/N:It's 5am...I have insomnia, I just watched 304, this is what popped into my head. It's probably super lame, the voice is likely crap. Truly, its just like a stream of consciousness ficlet from justin's pov, or my tired perception of justin's pov, or what I wish was justin's pov cause how could he seriously want the greasy fiddler?
On my way home I tried desperately to stop thinking about Brian. I should have just given the bracelet to Deb to return or waited until I saw him at the diner. Carl would have let him know the charges were dropped. But I wanted to do it. I owed it to him to do it. I needed him to know that people gave a shit, that they didn't really think he had done this.
I needed him to know that I gave a shit, that I believed him, that it was never even a question in my mind. He had done so much for me, was still looking out for me even now, i owed him this much at least.
When he opened the door to the loft, hair slightly messy, white tank, faded jeans, he was soooo Brian. The way I thought of him when I thought of us, thought of the times when it was just the two of us at home, doing nothing in particular.
God help me I wanted him, and I know it was written all over my face. I knew it because when I looked up at him after I finished attaching the bracelet to his arm, trying to ignore how electric it felt just to feel his skin on mine for that fraction of a second my hand brushed his arm, when I looked up, my want was mirrored back at me in his eyes, on his lips.
When I got back to Ethan's, I was relieved he wasn't home. If he had been, I would have fucked him in hopes of chasing thoughts of Brian from my mind. But it rarely worked. To often it happened that I would lose focus on Ethan for just a second, and that's all it took for Brian to slide in. I felt fucking guilty about it, but that never stopped it from happening.
I lay back on the shitty mattress, roughly freeing my dick and stroking it with an urgency I wouldn't admit to myself. I let the guilt slip away long enough to let Brian slip in. Brian naked, holding himself over me, rubbing his cock against mine. Brian kissing my lips, kissing my neck. Brian's mouth sliding down me, swallowing me whole. Brian's tongue licking at my hole, thrusting inside of me. Brian whispering all the dirty things I secretly wanted to hear. Brian fucking me, eyes on mine, telling me things I needed to hear without words.
When I came, Brian's name was the one that quietly fell from my lips. I lay there, waiting for the guilt to come, and it did. But it wasn't that bad, it was the fucking emptiness that was killing me.
Warning:Angst, NC-17
A/N:It's 5am...I have insomnia, I just watched 304, this is what popped into my head. It's probably super lame, the voice is likely crap. Truly, its just like a stream of consciousness ficlet from justin's pov, or my tired perception of justin's pov, or what I wish was justin's pov cause how could he seriously want the greasy fiddler?
On my way home I tried desperately to stop thinking about Brian. I should have just given the bracelet to Deb to return or waited until I saw him at the diner. Carl would have let him know the charges were dropped. But I wanted to do it. I owed it to him to do it. I needed him to know that people gave a shit, that they didn't really think he had done this.
I needed him to know that I gave a shit, that I believed him, that it was never even a question in my mind. He had done so much for me, was still looking out for me even now, i owed him this much at least.
When he opened the door to the loft, hair slightly messy, white tank, faded jeans, he was soooo Brian. The way I thought of him when I thought of us, thought of the times when it was just the two of us at home, doing nothing in particular.
God help me I wanted him, and I know it was written all over my face. I knew it because when I looked up at him after I finished attaching the bracelet to his arm, trying to ignore how electric it felt just to feel his skin on mine for that fraction of a second my hand brushed his arm, when I looked up, my want was mirrored back at me in his eyes, on his lips.
When I got back to Ethan's, I was relieved he wasn't home. If he had been, I would have fucked him in hopes of chasing thoughts of Brian from my mind. But it rarely worked. To often it happened that I would lose focus on Ethan for just a second, and that's all it took for Brian to slide in. I felt fucking guilty about it, but that never stopped it from happening.
I lay back on the shitty mattress, roughly freeing my dick and stroking it with an urgency I wouldn't admit to myself. I let the guilt slip away long enough to let Brian slip in. Brian naked, holding himself over me, rubbing his cock against mine. Brian kissing my lips, kissing my neck. Brian's mouth sliding down me, swallowing me whole. Brian's tongue licking at my hole, thrusting inside of me. Brian whispering all the dirty things I secretly wanted to hear. Brian fucking me, eyes on mine, telling me things I needed to hear without words.
When I came, Brian's name was the one that quietly fell from my lips. I lay there, waiting for the guilt to come, and it did. But it wasn't that bad, it was the fucking emptiness that was killing me.