A shallow legacy of vapid, gibbon-faced gush-spouts

[not_a_preacher]

For a while, I'd almost convinced myself that the trashbat museum party might bring some sort of closure for me. Not just on Dad's passing and on splitting up with Jones but on the entire seven years since I moved to Hoxditch. I wanted to believe that if I got completely rat-arsed and humiliated myself with that Preacherman routine just once more,

Comments

[capt_margaret]

You are not without me, Mr Ashcroft. I admit there have been a lot of things occuring in my life in a short space of time, so I may have seemed distant, and for this I apologise, but I can assure you that I am no nightmare. I am fully corporeal and fixed to reality.

[not_a_preacher]

Oh, hey there Rudi. Sorry, I must have drifted off.

I really appreciate that, mate. Everyone around here seems to have loads going on just lately so don't worry about it.

I've been using some of those relaxation techniques, over the past week - the stuff you taught me in the desert. It's helped alot. Thanks for being there when times have been difficult.

[bikinuswax]

That's my bra.

[not_a_preacher]

Then kindly get it out of my bin.

[well_bum]

Yeah, that's Dajve's bra. You'd better get it back here, Preach, that's Museum property, that is. I could have you prosecuted for theft, you know.

Also, yeah?, you don't talk about my Papa like that. I didn't ask him to throw you out - I didn't know he did until he told me the next day - but I'm pleased he did now, otherwise you might have trashed the whole place up.

Genius party, yeah? SO SAY BROTHER NATHAN!

Cheer up, Dan, yeah? I'll replace your drink if you want. Come to the pub later, yeah?

[not_a_preacher]

Your Dad threw me out? What's his problem? Does he not like to see anyone enjoying themselves?

Fine. Whatever. I'll bring the stinking lingerie back, later on. Maybe I'll wipe my arse on it, too.

[well_bum]

I didn't ask him to, yeah? You were an embarrassement, he said. Spoiling the mood for everyone around, he said. Being an arse, he said, and that's not language my Papa uses often, yeah?

Cheers. Don't soil it more; I will press charges. That's an historical artifact. You don't go around the British Museum shitting on stuff because you disagree with, say, Egyptian mythology. It's like me coming over to yours and deleting half your book. Shape up, yeah?

[not_a_preacher]

An historical artifact? Ha!

I don't go round the British Museum shitting on stuff because the difference between the items held there and your...pile of sparrow-wank is that they deserve reverance. Your "exhibits" deserve nothing more than a litre of petrol and a lit match.

I've pushed the soiled bra through the letterbox of trashbat. Satisfied?

[silverhorseshoe]

What the merry hell is trashbat? Bats are divine creatures, not meant to be preceeded with the word trash.

[well_bum]

Get down with the trashbat! Party like it's 2004, man! Bum leaving town, yeah?, don't get to keep abreast with the trends. Read all about it in The Guardian: http://arts.guardian.co.uk/art/visualart/story/0,,2126534,00.html. Get startled!

[anthrax_neon]

It was a marvellous party, dear. Do they not have them in Wales?