Owl To Leo
ooc: After this talk with her sister, Cordy decided it was time to stop avoiding
I've got a camera tucked away inside my heart If I'm a loser, or just unlucky, so are you Not everything is supposed to come true Some words are best unsaid Some love is not really love at all I'll keep everything I shared with you and that's enough, there's us Somewhere between then and now I looked away when you said we'll never change and if you think what might've been You'll lose today and we've got songs to play'>
Leo,
I've sat here for a good hour just staring at a blank piece of parchment trying to figure out what to say to you. The words are all here but they aren't making it to the parchment. I could fill it up with pointless things about school and other meaningless endeavors, but that would just be avoidance. And I'm tired of avoiding you. There used to be a time I couldn't go a day without some kind of contact, but to be completely honest? I haven't been making much contact with anyone recently.
I want you to know from the start that I am not setting out to make you feel guilty or hurt you in anyway. You asked how we all were, and you deserve a honest answer. Truthfully I don't really know how to explain how I am. I think the text book definition would be "disconnected". Yes that is definitely it. I've been very disconnected from everything. Aly, Brando, Milla, Lance, even from Mum and Dad. I bet I haven't said more than fifty words to each of them since you left. I've been blowing off class and locking myself away in the Room of Requirement. The truth is I don't want to be around anyone. Not since things have been so incredibly insane.
My sister confronted me today. She asked how I was doing and I gave her the patented Cordy "I'm okay." Milla of course saw right through me and she got me to talk about things I've refused to acknowledge for weeks...
Leo I know I have been supportive of everything, but without you here it feels like I've lost a part of myself. Please remember I'm not saying this to try to convince you to come back or make you regret what you've done. Because honestly? You shouldn't regret it. We all make choices, we all grow up, and I've come to realize nothing can remain the same forever. I think we were all just to naive and self absorbed to realize that something like this could ever happen to us. It wasn't suppose to happen to us, but fate has an uncanny way of stepping in without permission. My sister made me realize a lot of things. I want to start off by saying that your happiness means a great deal to me. I want you to be happy, so happy you could burst from it. But nothing comes without a price. I don't know if you've realized it yet or not, but your price was us and what we had before.
We'll always be friends Leo hell we're all more than friends, nothing in this world could ever change that. No matter how many times we argue or if we're thousands of miles apart. The bond that holds us together is way too strong to be broken by any storm. But things won't ever be like they were before. It doesn't matter how many visits or owls take place, they just won't be. I think that is what hurts us the most, that we can't ever get that thing we had back.
It's going to take time for the sting to fade and the wounds to heal. You changing your mind and coming home wouldn't shorten the healing process at all. Even if you did come back, it still wouldn't be the same. You would eventually resent every last thing that tied you to this place, and that's not what I want. When you think about home I want you to remember all the years we had together. I want you to remember the time when the four of us moved as one person and couldn't survive without the other. Give it time, we'll all be okay eventually. It might take awhile and we might be different, but we'll be okay. This isn't something that is going to heal over night, and this isn't one of your escapades that any of us were just going to go along with.
I think that was my first mistake. Believing that nothing would change, was a childish mistake that didn't help the situation from my perspective at all. This whole thing has opened my eyes a lot to life and how things work. I guess you could say I had a bit of an epiphany. Cordelia Diggory...who'd have thought it?
I want you to know that I love you Leo and unlike life, that's something that won't ever change.
Always,
The Heart
I've got a camera tucked away inside my heart If I'm a loser, or just unlucky, so are you Not everything is supposed to come true Some words are best unsaid Some love is not really love at all I'll keep everything I shared with you and that's enough, there's us Somewhere between then and now I looked away when you said we'll never change and if you think what might've been You'll lose today and we've got songs to play'>
Leo,
I've sat here for a good hour just staring at a blank piece of parchment trying to figure out what to say to you. The words are all here but they aren't making it to the parchment. I could fill it up with pointless things about school and other meaningless endeavors, but that would just be avoidance. And I'm tired of avoiding you. There used to be a time I couldn't go a day without some kind of contact, but to be completely honest? I haven't been making much contact with anyone recently.
I want you to know from the start that I am not setting out to make you feel guilty or hurt you in anyway. You asked how we all were, and you deserve a honest answer. Truthfully I don't really know how to explain how I am. I think the text book definition would be "disconnected". Yes that is definitely it. I've been very disconnected from everything. Aly, Brando, Milla, Lance, even from Mum and Dad. I bet I haven't said more than fifty words to each of them since you left. I've been blowing off class and locking myself away in the Room of Requirement. The truth is I don't want to be around anyone. Not since things have been so incredibly insane.
My sister confronted me today. She asked how I was doing and I gave her the patented Cordy "I'm okay." Milla of course saw right through me and she got me to talk about things I've refused to acknowledge for weeks...
Leo I know I have been supportive of everything, but without you here it feels like I've lost a part of myself. Please remember I'm not saying this to try to convince you to come back or make you regret what you've done. Because honestly? You shouldn't regret it. We all make choices, we all grow up, and I've come to realize nothing can remain the same forever. I think we were all just to naive and self absorbed to realize that something like this could ever happen to us. It wasn't suppose to happen to us, but fate has an uncanny way of stepping in without permission. My sister made me realize a lot of things. I want to start off by saying that your happiness means a great deal to me. I want you to be happy, so happy you could burst from it. But nothing comes without a price. I don't know if you've realized it yet or not, but your price was us and what we had before.
We'll always be friends Leo hell we're all more than friends, nothing in this world could ever change that. No matter how many times we argue or if we're thousands of miles apart. The bond that holds us together is way too strong to be broken by any storm. But things won't ever be like they were before. It doesn't matter how many visits or owls take place, they just won't be. I think that is what hurts us the most, that we can't ever get that thing we had back.
It's going to take time for the sting to fade and the wounds to heal. You changing your mind and coming home wouldn't shorten the healing process at all. Even if you did come back, it still wouldn't be the same. You would eventually resent every last thing that tied you to this place, and that's not what I want. When you think about home I want you to remember all the years we had together. I want you to remember the time when the four of us moved as one person and couldn't survive without the other. Give it time, we'll all be okay eventually. It might take awhile and we might be different, but we'll be okay. This isn't something that is going to heal over night, and this isn't one of your escapades that any of us were just going to go along with.
I think that was my first mistake. Believing that nothing would change, was a childish mistake that didn't help the situation from my perspective at all. This whole thing has opened my eyes a lot to life and how things work. I guess you could say I had a bit of an epiphany. Cordelia Diggory...who'd have thought it?
I want you to know that I love you Leo and unlike life, that's something that won't ever change.
Always,
The Heart