(Untitled)

Dec 10, 2016 05:43

weed + coffee + house remixes of Mariah = good morning Richard

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camillemaxwest December 28 2016, 03:28:43 UTC
hi! i've talked to you before. i was on ONTD over a decade ago under a username i don't even remember before the place completely fell off. i remember you as a great source of amusement back during those days. i also remember you as someone who identified as gay, but now identifies as bi. i'm going through something similar - although i'm a woman. i'm super confused because i like women much more than men, but to say i NEVER feel attracted to a man - even if it's just a few minutes of a sexual urge i don't necessarily want to act on - feels so misleading. how has the bi experience been for you? i just feel so... off and like i don't know who i am anymore. :/

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not_kosher December 30 2016, 06:53:24 UTC
Aww, I'm sorry you feel that way. I understand that moment of "omg who AM I?" but you're whatever you feel like being. Your sexuality doesn't have to be defined by anybody else's labels but the ones that you choose to put on it (if any at all). Personally, I'm a strong believe in the Kinsey scale (if you're unfamiliar, I suggest you Google it) , so that might give you a little more insight as to my feelings on this whole topic of "bisexuality".

The best advice I can give you is to not let anybody hinder your experiences with either gender because they couldn't understand your personal sexuality. Your sexuality is just that - yours and nobody else's, so as long as you're safely exploring it with another consenting adult, I see no reason why it should even be a thought before or after the act itself.

It's never too late to learn more about yourself, be it sexually or otherwise, so enjoy life, and be safe doing it xo.

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camillemaxwest January 5 2017, 01:16:58 UTC
True. :) I've harbored physical desires for men for many years now, although I do prefer women, and I remember being told by SO many people (including influential family members) I had to pick one or the other. I came out as bi a long time ago, but re-identified as a lesbian only days later because I allowed myself to believe them. I now feel like I've wasted a decade trying to fit into an identity that wasn't truly fitting. Did you feel like you had to come out all over again? That's my concern because I really don't like being called a "lesbian" - it makes me feel guilty, dishonest, and like I'm denying who I am, even if I don't necessarily want to date a guy (the thought of a long-term relationship with a woman has always felt so much more appealing). I feel like I can't be part of the gay community anymore. :(

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not_kosher January 14 2017, 00:30:49 UTC
"Did you feel like you had to come out all over again? "

Honestly, yes, I did. Except unlike you, I wasn't afraid to do it all over again. In fact, I felt empowered.

I knew I was going to get all of the same reactions I did the first time I came out (and I did), but the second time around I was prepared and ready for what was about to come. I didn't care though. I was declaring my truth - my REAL truth, and whoever didn't understand or accept it could truly go fuck themselves, because at that point, I was done explaining my sexuality to the entire world.

And take it from someone who knows - the gay community is just as small-minded as any other, so expect some backlash. Personally, I would just focus on what made me happy, and in time you'll find people you can relate to.

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