[For Remus and Neil]

[not_the_grim]

There had been no frantic searching, no misplaced hope. In retrospect, Sirius would come to reflect on the particular way his heart had dropped down into the pit of his stomach when he'd come home that day. The way he'd known, instinctively and down to his very marrow, that James was gone

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[the_beta]

Remus hasn't felt this misplaced and useless since the funeral. It's not even the fact that Sirius isn't responding, that he just keeps staring up at the only untouched part of the hut as feathers and dust move through the room, as Remus pulls his arms out flat to check the relatively minor injuries.

No, he just feels stupid for not being here when it started, before Sirius tore the place apart and shut down. It makes it harder to walk back out, but Sirius isn't even moving but to blink, and he can't get much worse like that, can he?

His first thought is to get James, and his second is James isn't here you twat, which really only leaves one person. One person to focus on finding while he shoves away the fact that James won't be found this time. Maybe he shed all the tears he'd had for James the first time he lost him, or maybe he's distracted by Sirius going starkers, but he's a decidedly dry-eyed brand of upset when he finds Neil in the kitchen. Grabbing him by the arm, he pulls him away from the counter, the words stuck in

[little_moons]

I'm in the middle of pouring a cup of coffee when I'm bodily dragged away, the pot dropping onto the counter with a clatter and splattering coffee narrowly missing my hands.

"Jesus Christ, man. What the fu-" I shout, clamping onto his arms just to keep upright, but then he's talking and I'm too blindly terrified to be angry anymore.

"Where is he?"

[the_beta]

For a minute they're just standing there, holding onto each other while people look up from children and meals and magazines to witness what might very well be a scene, because nothing Sirius does is complete without one of those,. And then Neil looks as scared as Remus feels, and they need to keep moving. "Back at the hut," he starts, taking a step back and pulling Neil with him. "James is gone," he summarizes, saving his breath. He disengages enough to drag Neil by one arm again, wanting to let go and run ahead but needing to know Neil's behind him.

Because really, to anyone who knows Sirius, that's all he has to say.

[little_moons]

He doesn't need to say any more than that, and I don't even notice that he's basically dragging me down the hall, the two of us busting out the heavy compound doors and by the time my feet hit the dirt, I'm moving at a run.

This is bad, every fucking time this happens to anybody it's bad, but this... I hadn't even let myself think about this ever happening, because thinking about how Sirius might take it honestly kind of scared the shit out of me.