Vacation Blues (1 + 2/16)
Vacation Blues
Author: tromana
Artist: caitriona_3 | lothiriel84
Link to art: caitriona_3 | lothiriel84
Word Count: ~21k
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Lisbon is shanghaied into taking a vacation to Hawaii, Jane tags along with unclear intentions. The first thing she finds in her hotel room is... a dead body. It's only natural she and Jane get involved in the case, while the borderline between friendship and something more is inevitably crossed.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Mentalist. Artwork is courtesy of my two artists.
Notes: Written for the Mentalist Big Bang 2012 @ mentalist_bb. Set post-Red John. With thanks to miss_peg for betaing. Massive thanks to caitriona_3 and lothiriel84 for your wonderful sets of art!
Part One
Teresa Lisbon cradled her cell phone between her ear and her shoulder as she uncomfortably dragged the suitcase along behind her. She hadn’t been best pleased at the suggestion she took a vacation, especially as it had a certain Patrick Jane's grubby fingerprints all over it. A month ago, he had innocuously asked her when she had last had an actual vacation - one where she spent time relaxing, sightseeing, doing things for herself rather than spending time with her brothers or locking her front door and eating copious amounts of ice cream in front of a movie marathon. Naturally, she had told him it was none of his damn business how she spent her annual leave. However, when she received notice that she was to take a mandatory break, along with some less than subtle vouchers for hotels in Hawaii, she had known exactly who was responsible. Jane had gone straight over her head and to the brass. Somehow, he had convinced them that the rest and relaxation would do her good; that she would come back energized and enthusiastic. It would increase her productivity a thousand per cent, or something ridiculous like that.
Worse, Jane had actually insisted that he check up on her. Somehow, he had made her promise that she called him when she arrived at the airport, after she landed and when she reached her designated hotel. If her recall of these events hadn’t been crystal clear, then she would have seriously considered the idea that he had hypnotized her into doing as such. Instead, she knew it was her own fault. He'd hoodwinked her by saying he would go straight to her boss again if she didn't follow the exact orders to go relax and have a good time.
Silently, she cursed at herself. It wasn't that she was a workaholic; she was just very dedicated to her career. She liked to get stuff done. Lisbon had a social life; it just wasn't one she was happy to share with her coworkers. Somewhere along the line, they had crossed wires and become convinced that she was practically married to her job. And as a consequence, they believed she needed direct instructions in order to ensure that she recharged her batteries in an admittedly beautiful and secluded location.
“Yes, Jane, I'm here,” she sighed down the phone. “Yes, the hotel is beautiful and I'm just reaching my room now.”
“Good girl,” Jane answered back and Lisbon frowned.
She swore she could hear an echo somewhere. Grumbling, she dumped her suitcase down in front of room 23 - her designated suite for the duration of her stay. Then, she returned her attention straight back to Jane.
“Say that again,” she demanded.
“What, you really want me to say something that patronizing to you again?” he queried, clearly amused.
By the end of his statement, she had already pulled her cell phone away from her ear. However, she still caught the end of it and found herself staring at the door directly opposite her rooms. She knocked sharply on it precisely three times and waited patiently.
Sure enough, Jane himself eventually answered.
“Damn it, Jane!” she retorted, resisting the temptation to hit him square in the mouth. “Do you really think I cannot relax without you around?”
He opened his mouth to retort and she swiftly cut him off.
“No, I know I cannot relax with you around,” Lisbon corrected herself with frustration.
“Why not?” he asked, despite the fact he already knew the answer to that specific question.
“You wreak havoc wherever you go.”
She was relieved when he didn’t have the audacity to even pretend to be hurt by her statement. They both knew it was factually correct and there was more than enough evidence for her to back it up with; there was no point in arguing. However, that didn’t stop him from trying to deny it, even if he hadn’t been hurt by her observation.
“That's a little bit of an exaggeration.”
“I can't take you anywhere,” she said with a sigh.
“Yes you can. Twice, actually.”
“No-“
“Once to actually go there, then a second time to apologize,” Jane interrupted with a grin.
“Haha, very funny,” she replied dryly. “Besides you never apologize.”
“I do!”
“Fine. You never apologize and actually mean it.”
“Lisbon…”
“Don’t bother.”
Part of her was surprisingly irritated at the fact her vacation had been hi-jacked by a certain Patrick Jane. It had been so long since she had last been away properly. Once the irritation had died away, she had even begun to look forward to a solid two weeks of rest and relaxation. The rest of her was entirely unsurprised and figured that with him around, she couldn’t run the risk of actually getting bored. Jane never seemed capable of doing something normally; he always attracted trouble. Even so, she swiftly turned on her heels, stalked back to her suitcase and picked up the keys. Despite the fact that it hadn’t bothered her as much as it probably should have done so, she knew that Jane had been out of order to behave in this way. He was encroaching on her personal time when their boundaries between professionalism and not had become blurred enough as it was. Stalking her on holiday just seemed to have an innate sense of wrongness about it, but he either didn’t care or didn’t think it mattered.
She refused to believe there was any chance of it being serendipitous. This was Patrick Jane she was facing, after all.
He hurried out to join her in the hallway and Lisbon scowled. She placed her belongings back down on the top of her suitcase and turned to face him. At the very least, he could have given her the chance to settle down into her hotel suite before bothering her, surely? Lisbon shook her head. Of course not. She already knew that he had little to no reserves of patience left. It had probably driven him insane waiting, alone, in his hotel room, eagerly anticipating her arrival.
In his hands was a seemingly innocuous piece of paper, but Lisbon already knew that this was Jane she was dealing with. Nothing about him was harmless; not even the document in his hands. Somewhere, there was going to be a trick up his sleeve, she just knew it. The question was what? She watched dubiously as he placed the piece of paper carefully over her suitcase and beckoned her to have a look.
“Can’t this wait?” she asked, annoyed at herself for the slight whine in her tone.
“But Lisbon, these excursions are meant to be fascinating and there’s only limited…“ he started.
“Right now, I really don’t care.”
“But…”
“Jane,” Lisbon said again, her stubbornness immediately coming through. “Might I remind you that you were the one intent on my having a vacation? Well, let me enjoy it my way, okay?”
“Only if you get yourself out of ‘boss mode’, Teresa,” he answered back, grinning.
“You’re impossible.”
She was relieved that he had finally acquiesced and removed the pamphlet from her bags. Lisbon breathed a sigh of relief and picked up her keys once more. Her eyes didn’t leave Jane until he shut the door behind her. Then, she turned around and finally slotted the key into her room’s door. Slowly, she swung it open and took a step inside.
It was only a matter of seconds until she saw the dead body, neatly arranged on the bed.
Part Two
Cautiously, Lisbon took a step into the room. As she did so, she patted down her pockets, trying desperately to find her cell phone. She frowned when she couldn’t find it but briefly remembered what she had been doing beforehand. Then, she turned on her heels and faced Jane with an angry glare on her face. Sticking out her hand, she demanded that he returned it at once. After all, she had a crime to report.
“I don’t have it,” he answered with mock-innocence.
“And I don’t have time for this,” Lisbon answered back with a slight growl. “Come on, give it back.”
When he placed the object in her hands with a sheepish expression, she rolled her eyes. It had been very unlike her to fall for such a basic Jane trick and she cursed herself for it. After all, she had known him for more than long enough to know what he was like. If she gave him an inch, he’d take a mile and that was precisely what he’d done. Then again, she had been on the back foot since her arrival at this hotel. She had never expected him to chase her out here, after all. Lisbon had no idea why he had been so intent on interrupting the vacation he insisted she had. In a way, she didn’t even want to know either. After all, there were some rather uncomfortable thoughts associated with such a thing.
“Don’t touch anything!” she shot at him quickly before exiting the room.
She wasn’t quick enough, however, to miss the look on his face that said it all: ‘what, do you really think I don’t know that already?’ Despite the fact he had worked with her for an extensive period of time, she didn’t trust his uncanny ability to cause trouble. Lisbon had lost count of the number of occasions he had been in a crime scene and forgotten to use gloves when playing around with vital evidence. It seemed like however often she reminded him of important details like that, it went in one ear and straight out of the other.
With swift professionalism, she passed on the important details as quickly as feasibly possible. After a promise that the local authorities would be with her as soon as possible, Lisbon thanked the woman on the other end of the phone and swiftly ended the call. Then, partially due to morbid curiosity, but mostly because she wanted to stop Jane from wreaking havoc, Lisbon re-entered her hotel room.
Not that she had any intention of spending the night in there, of course. It was a crime scene and would be cordoned off as soon as possible.
“This is interesting,” Jane eventually said without even bothering to look at her.
“What is?”
For the first time, she took a proper look at the body. It had been wrapped up in bandages, not too dissimilar to the way a mummy was wrapped up in Egyptian tombs. Blood had seeped its way through the materials, staining the otherwise pristine white appearance of both the body and bed. However, that wasn’t what had captured Jane’s attention.
He was staring at four containers that had been neatly arranged on the bedside table. Lisbon had never had much of an interest in Ancient Egypt, but she was fairly certain that they were facsimiles of the burial jars which were kept with the mummy. She also didn’t need to be told that generally, that was what the organs of the deceased were stored in. That was basic history, after all.
“Canopic jars. Duamutef, Hapi, Imseti and Qebehsenuef,” Jane stated, as he pointed out each jar one by one. “A bit rough, but a good try nevertheless.”
“Very clever,” Lisbon replied dryly. “Somebody obviously listened in class.”
“Please, you know I didn’t go to school like you did.”
Lisbon shook her head, but smiled slightly as she did so. “You don’t think…”
“We’ll only find out if we have a look.”
She didn’t need to say a word for him to quickly backtrack. Lisbon watched as he took three steps backwards and turned to face her once more. Only Jane would have suggested that they took a look inside some jars which were designed to contain human organs. From what she could see of the body, she wouldn’t have been surprised if the killer had actually gone through with it. After all, if they had bothered to make the jars, they might as well have carried it out with the same attention to detail.
“Or not,” he continued swiftly. “After all, this isn’t our jurisdiction.”
“No, it isn’t,” she agreed quickly.
With a sigh, Lisbon quickly vacated the room and Jane followed her. She turned, instructed him to wait at the room while she informed the management of the latest developments. Though, in her professional opinion, it was likely that one of them was responsible for the death, they had a right to know. After all, it was their property and there were officers on their way to investigate imminently.
Unsurprisingly so, the news that there had been a murder at the hotel spread like wildfire and Lisbon spent a good ten minutes attempting to keep people away from the body. Eventually, officers turned up and took over the guard duty. Lisbon meanwhile perched on the edge of her suitcase with Jane beside her. Part of her was itching to get involved and she knew Jane felt the same. This was one of those cases that piqued his interests. It seemed like it was the kind he would have found a challenge back home and thus, he’d pay particular attention to it.
However, she also knew that she had to trust the men to do their job. She was well and truly off duty and therefore, the only interest she should have in the case was the simple fact that she had been the first one to realize a crime had been committed in this hotel. Beyond that, there was theoretically nothing she could do. Except for offering her services should they be required, of course. Nobody seemed interested in talking to her just yet though. Instead, they were busy trying to keep people away, searching the place inch by inch and talking to the management.
It was interesting, though, seeing how cops in other states approached a crime scene. She had seen so many in her lifetime and yet, had a certain routine she liked to go about at each one. Often, one of the first things she liked to do was ensure that she had people in the vicinity of the murder, especially the one who reported it questioned as soon as possible. They usually had vital information to share, things that could easily be forgotten over the course of time.
That was why she hadn’t disappeared and why she stood to shake the hand of the man who finally approached her after two hours of waiting.
“Teresa Lisbon?”
“Yes?” she replied, questioningly.
“You were the one who discovered the body, I believe?”
“I did.”
“We’d like to take you back to the office for questioning.”
The man placed a hand on her shoulder, one which suggested if she dared move, he’d have her in an arm lock in an instant. Lisbon didn’t even need to look at Jane to know just how ridiculously funny he was finding the situation.
After all, only she could go on vacation and find a dead body.
Of course, as far as she was concerned, it was his fault. She wouldn’t have bothered coming to Hawaii if it wasn’t for him.
To Part Three
Author: tromana
Artist: caitriona_3 | lothiriel84
Link to art: caitriona_3 | lothiriel84
Word Count: ~21k
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Lisbon is shanghaied into taking a vacation to Hawaii, Jane tags along with unclear intentions. The first thing she finds in her hotel room is... a dead body. It's only natural she and Jane get involved in the case, while the borderline between friendship and something more is inevitably crossed.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Mentalist. Artwork is courtesy of my two artists.
Notes: Written for the Mentalist Big Bang 2012 @ mentalist_bb. Set post-Red John. With thanks to miss_peg for betaing. Massive thanks to caitriona_3 and lothiriel84 for your wonderful sets of art!
Part One
Teresa Lisbon cradled her cell phone between her ear and her shoulder as she uncomfortably dragged the suitcase along behind her. She hadn’t been best pleased at the suggestion she took a vacation, especially as it had a certain Patrick Jane's grubby fingerprints all over it. A month ago, he had innocuously asked her when she had last had an actual vacation - one where she spent time relaxing, sightseeing, doing things for herself rather than spending time with her brothers or locking her front door and eating copious amounts of ice cream in front of a movie marathon. Naturally, she had told him it was none of his damn business how she spent her annual leave. However, when she received notice that she was to take a mandatory break, along with some less than subtle vouchers for hotels in Hawaii, she had known exactly who was responsible. Jane had gone straight over her head and to the brass. Somehow, he had convinced them that the rest and relaxation would do her good; that she would come back energized and enthusiastic. It would increase her productivity a thousand per cent, or something ridiculous like that.
Worse, Jane had actually insisted that he check up on her. Somehow, he had made her promise that she called him when she arrived at the airport, after she landed and when she reached her designated hotel. If her recall of these events hadn’t been crystal clear, then she would have seriously considered the idea that he had hypnotized her into doing as such. Instead, she knew it was her own fault. He'd hoodwinked her by saying he would go straight to her boss again if she didn't follow the exact orders to go relax and have a good time.
Silently, she cursed at herself. It wasn't that she was a workaholic; she was just very dedicated to her career. She liked to get stuff done. Lisbon had a social life; it just wasn't one she was happy to share with her coworkers. Somewhere along the line, they had crossed wires and become convinced that she was practically married to her job. And as a consequence, they believed she needed direct instructions in order to ensure that she recharged her batteries in an admittedly beautiful and secluded location.
“Yes, Jane, I'm here,” she sighed down the phone. “Yes, the hotel is beautiful and I'm just reaching my room now.”
“Good girl,” Jane answered back and Lisbon frowned.
She swore she could hear an echo somewhere. Grumbling, she dumped her suitcase down in front of room 23 - her designated suite for the duration of her stay. Then, she returned her attention straight back to Jane.
“Say that again,” she demanded.
“What, you really want me to say something that patronizing to you again?” he queried, clearly amused.
By the end of his statement, she had already pulled her cell phone away from her ear. However, she still caught the end of it and found herself staring at the door directly opposite her rooms. She knocked sharply on it precisely three times and waited patiently.
Sure enough, Jane himself eventually answered.
“Damn it, Jane!” she retorted, resisting the temptation to hit him square in the mouth. “Do you really think I cannot relax without you around?”
He opened his mouth to retort and she swiftly cut him off.
“No, I know I cannot relax with you around,” Lisbon corrected herself with frustration.
“Why not?” he asked, despite the fact he already knew the answer to that specific question.
“You wreak havoc wherever you go.”
She was relieved when he didn’t have the audacity to even pretend to be hurt by her statement. They both knew it was factually correct and there was more than enough evidence for her to back it up with; there was no point in arguing. However, that didn’t stop him from trying to deny it, even if he hadn’t been hurt by her observation.
“That's a little bit of an exaggeration.”
“I can't take you anywhere,” she said with a sigh.
“Yes you can. Twice, actually.”
“No-“
“Once to actually go there, then a second time to apologize,” Jane interrupted with a grin.
“Haha, very funny,” she replied dryly. “Besides you never apologize.”
“I do!”
“Fine. You never apologize and actually mean it.”
“Lisbon…”
“Don’t bother.”
Part of her was surprisingly irritated at the fact her vacation had been hi-jacked by a certain Patrick Jane. It had been so long since she had last been away properly. Once the irritation had died away, she had even begun to look forward to a solid two weeks of rest and relaxation. The rest of her was entirely unsurprised and figured that with him around, she couldn’t run the risk of actually getting bored. Jane never seemed capable of doing something normally; he always attracted trouble. Even so, she swiftly turned on her heels, stalked back to her suitcase and picked up the keys. Despite the fact that it hadn’t bothered her as much as it probably should have done so, she knew that Jane had been out of order to behave in this way. He was encroaching on her personal time when their boundaries between professionalism and not had become blurred enough as it was. Stalking her on holiday just seemed to have an innate sense of wrongness about it, but he either didn’t care or didn’t think it mattered.
She refused to believe there was any chance of it being serendipitous. This was Patrick Jane she was facing, after all.
He hurried out to join her in the hallway and Lisbon scowled. She placed her belongings back down on the top of her suitcase and turned to face him. At the very least, he could have given her the chance to settle down into her hotel suite before bothering her, surely? Lisbon shook her head. Of course not. She already knew that he had little to no reserves of patience left. It had probably driven him insane waiting, alone, in his hotel room, eagerly anticipating her arrival.
In his hands was a seemingly innocuous piece of paper, but Lisbon already knew that this was Jane she was dealing with. Nothing about him was harmless; not even the document in his hands. Somewhere, there was going to be a trick up his sleeve, she just knew it. The question was what? She watched dubiously as he placed the piece of paper carefully over her suitcase and beckoned her to have a look.
“Can’t this wait?” she asked, annoyed at herself for the slight whine in her tone.
“But Lisbon, these excursions are meant to be fascinating and there’s only limited…“ he started.
“Right now, I really don’t care.”
“But…”
“Jane,” Lisbon said again, her stubbornness immediately coming through. “Might I remind you that you were the one intent on my having a vacation? Well, let me enjoy it my way, okay?”
“Only if you get yourself out of ‘boss mode’, Teresa,” he answered back, grinning.
“You’re impossible.”
She was relieved that he had finally acquiesced and removed the pamphlet from her bags. Lisbon breathed a sigh of relief and picked up her keys once more. Her eyes didn’t leave Jane until he shut the door behind her. Then, she turned around and finally slotted the key into her room’s door. Slowly, she swung it open and took a step inside.
It was only a matter of seconds until she saw the dead body, neatly arranged on the bed.
Part Two
Cautiously, Lisbon took a step into the room. As she did so, she patted down her pockets, trying desperately to find her cell phone. She frowned when she couldn’t find it but briefly remembered what she had been doing beforehand. Then, she turned on her heels and faced Jane with an angry glare on her face. Sticking out her hand, she demanded that he returned it at once. After all, she had a crime to report.
“I don’t have it,” he answered with mock-innocence.
“And I don’t have time for this,” Lisbon answered back with a slight growl. “Come on, give it back.”
When he placed the object in her hands with a sheepish expression, she rolled her eyes. It had been very unlike her to fall for such a basic Jane trick and she cursed herself for it. After all, she had known him for more than long enough to know what he was like. If she gave him an inch, he’d take a mile and that was precisely what he’d done. Then again, she had been on the back foot since her arrival at this hotel. She had never expected him to chase her out here, after all. Lisbon had no idea why he had been so intent on interrupting the vacation he insisted she had. In a way, she didn’t even want to know either. After all, there were some rather uncomfortable thoughts associated with such a thing.
“Don’t touch anything!” she shot at him quickly before exiting the room.
She wasn’t quick enough, however, to miss the look on his face that said it all: ‘what, do you really think I don’t know that already?’ Despite the fact he had worked with her for an extensive period of time, she didn’t trust his uncanny ability to cause trouble. Lisbon had lost count of the number of occasions he had been in a crime scene and forgotten to use gloves when playing around with vital evidence. It seemed like however often she reminded him of important details like that, it went in one ear and straight out of the other.
With swift professionalism, she passed on the important details as quickly as feasibly possible. After a promise that the local authorities would be with her as soon as possible, Lisbon thanked the woman on the other end of the phone and swiftly ended the call. Then, partially due to morbid curiosity, but mostly because she wanted to stop Jane from wreaking havoc, Lisbon re-entered her hotel room.
Not that she had any intention of spending the night in there, of course. It was a crime scene and would be cordoned off as soon as possible.
“This is interesting,” Jane eventually said without even bothering to look at her.
“What is?”
For the first time, she took a proper look at the body. It had been wrapped up in bandages, not too dissimilar to the way a mummy was wrapped up in Egyptian tombs. Blood had seeped its way through the materials, staining the otherwise pristine white appearance of both the body and bed. However, that wasn’t what had captured Jane’s attention.
He was staring at four containers that had been neatly arranged on the bedside table. Lisbon had never had much of an interest in Ancient Egypt, but she was fairly certain that they were facsimiles of the burial jars which were kept with the mummy. She also didn’t need to be told that generally, that was what the organs of the deceased were stored in. That was basic history, after all.
“Canopic jars. Duamutef, Hapi, Imseti and Qebehsenuef,” Jane stated, as he pointed out each jar one by one. “A bit rough, but a good try nevertheless.”
“Very clever,” Lisbon replied dryly. “Somebody obviously listened in class.”
“Please, you know I didn’t go to school like you did.”
Lisbon shook her head, but smiled slightly as she did so. “You don’t think…”
“We’ll only find out if we have a look.”
She didn’t need to say a word for him to quickly backtrack. Lisbon watched as he took three steps backwards and turned to face her once more. Only Jane would have suggested that they took a look inside some jars which were designed to contain human organs. From what she could see of the body, she wouldn’t have been surprised if the killer had actually gone through with it. After all, if they had bothered to make the jars, they might as well have carried it out with the same attention to detail.
“Or not,” he continued swiftly. “After all, this isn’t our jurisdiction.”
“No, it isn’t,” she agreed quickly.
With a sigh, Lisbon quickly vacated the room and Jane followed her. She turned, instructed him to wait at the room while she informed the management of the latest developments. Though, in her professional opinion, it was likely that one of them was responsible for the death, they had a right to know. After all, it was their property and there were officers on their way to investigate imminently.
Unsurprisingly so, the news that there had been a murder at the hotel spread like wildfire and Lisbon spent a good ten minutes attempting to keep people away from the body. Eventually, officers turned up and took over the guard duty. Lisbon meanwhile perched on the edge of her suitcase with Jane beside her. Part of her was itching to get involved and she knew Jane felt the same. This was one of those cases that piqued his interests. It seemed like it was the kind he would have found a challenge back home and thus, he’d pay particular attention to it.
However, she also knew that she had to trust the men to do their job. She was well and truly off duty and therefore, the only interest she should have in the case was the simple fact that she had been the first one to realize a crime had been committed in this hotel. Beyond that, there was theoretically nothing she could do. Except for offering her services should they be required, of course. Nobody seemed interested in talking to her just yet though. Instead, they were busy trying to keep people away, searching the place inch by inch and talking to the management.
It was interesting, though, seeing how cops in other states approached a crime scene. She had seen so many in her lifetime and yet, had a certain routine she liked to go about at each one. Often, one of the first things she liked to do was ensure that she had people in the vicinity of the murder, especially the one who reported it questioned as soon as possible. They usually had vital information to share, things that could easily be forgotten over the course of time.
That was why she hadn’t disappeared and why she stood to shake the hand of the man who finally approached her after two hours of waiting.
“Teresa Lisbon?”
“Yes?” she replied, questioningly.
“You were the one who discovered the body, I believe?”
“I did.”
“We’d like to take you back to the office for questioning.”
The man placed a hand on her shoulder, one which suggested if she dared move, he’d have her in an arm lock in an instant. Lisbon didn’t even need to look at Jane to know just how ridiculously funny he was finding the situation.
After all, only she could go on vacation and find a dead body.
Of course, as far as she was concerned, it was his fault. She wouldn’t have bothered coming to Hawaii if it wasn’t for him.
To Part Three