A Day In The Life (Part XVIII): On Ingratitude And Certain Rabbits
jeste soe u kno, jitturz ann i arnte speekinge riate nowe. aparintlee ime insinsativ ann donte knowe wat thee wurd happee aktulee meenz. ime prettee shur heez jeste havinge sum sorte uv hormonul distres kaused bie toe muche proximitee toe hiz smoochee bunnfrend.
aneewae, thee trubul startud liake thiz:
*cues dreamy segue music*
"...But on the way to the ship, the rabbis girlfriend caught up with the diseased crab and stomped it firmly into the sand so they all made a clean getaway and nobody was ever the wiser. The end."
"Is that it sir?"
"Of course that's it! Didn't you like it? I wrote it just for you, you know."
"Yes sir, I know. It's just that-"
"Just that WHAT? You wanted a happy ending, and that's what you got. They couldn't BE any happier! Everybody kept their eyeballs, didn't they?"
"Well, yes sir...kind of..."
"And the Ravenous Kelp kept the Hunchback Whale from finding out what the Incubus was REALLY up to!"
"I guess so... "
"You have to guess because you kept putting your paws over your ears. Don't think I didn't notice."
"Sorry sir, but It was so gross! That business with the antennae and the exploding eye disease..."
"Well of course it was gross! How can you have a happy ending if you don't have anything to compare it to? Keeping your eyeballs is just- just NORMAL if you aren't fighting a disease-ridden crab or an incubus! You need to have drama if you're going to grab your audience! You WERE grabbed, weren't you?"
"No sir, I sat with my back against the couch."
"Baby. But you admit that you WOULD have been grabbed if you had been sitting towards the center of the room."
"Maybe, but I know better than to sit there now."
"I'll bet.
*flick*
Say... That was a great night, wasn't it? I didn't know you could turn that color!
"You should have, Sir. You're the one who filled the bucket."
"Seriously? You're not still mad about that are you? I mean, I totally helped you clean up."
"Yes sir."
"And You looked GREAT! I hardly recognized you!"
"I hardly recognized me either, Sir. There's still some of it behind my ears."
"Ooh, let's see! Oh...yeah...there it is. Does it still glow?"
"Sometimes. It still keeps me awake at night too."
"Well if it doesn't, that story sure will. Wasn't it awesome?"
"D-Do we have to talk about it sir? I was just beginning to forget."
"And I would like to forget what a baby you are. Seriously, do you ever do anything but complain?"
"Well, yes Sir. Just today I-"
"Griped your baby head off about a perfectly innocuous story. Seriously, I've never seen such a whiner!"
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ite wint downehill prettee kwik frum ther. Ime seriouslee konsideringe startinge a pole juste toe sea whoe elze thinkz jitturz iz ann unappreciativ whinee kribabyee withe seerious gratitud issuze.