[JE] Morphean Mystery
Title: Morphean Mystery
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Akame
Word count: 7,800
Rating: PG-13/R for some rather disturbing moments and m/m activity.
Genre: Crack, but not of the happy sort. AU-but-not-really. Let's settle on 'Angst', shall we?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, but if anybody's got them for sale I'll happily take them off your hands.
Summary: Jin Akanishi, licensed private investigator, takes on an unusual new case when a drenched Kazuya Kamenashi seeks shelter in his office and claims to be from another world. As the case progresses, Jin learns that the truth is something far stranger...
Author's Notes
I started writing this when I was in a particularly bad mood, and ironically, as my mood improved, the fic got darker. (And I'm not just talking about the storm that's raging outside Jin's office.) It isn't what I intended it to be, but it does have some redeeming moments of light and levity mixed in with the gloom and doom. And there *is* a happy ending, if you're worried, because I like happy endings no matter how much I have to hurt people to get there. Don't worry - nobody dies, and there is Akame fluff in the end, I promise.
Morphean Mystery
The lights were off in Jin's office - not that they were ever on, except on the rare occasion he actually bothered to do paperwork - and the only illumination came from the windows, where the remaining daylight was struggling to break through. Thunder crashed overhead, and the odd flash of lightning brightened the room so much that the faded text on the ancient movie posters was almost legible.
Jin Akanishi, licensed private investigator, propped his boots up on his old oak desk and leaned back to watch the storm. He'd finished a case that day, recovering a valuable stolen idol (the kidnapping of Jun Matsumoto had shocked the nation), and all that was left to do was present his bill to the client. His secretary, Miss Koki Tanaka, was typing it up for him, clacking away in the outer office with keyboard strokes only marginally quieter than the thunder.
She was an odd one, that Miss Koki. She'd turned up at Jin's office one day, supposedly in response to an ad he'd placed, and told him that if he couldn't remember writing the advert then he definitely needed a secretary. Jin certainly couldn't argue with that - he hated paperwork with a passion, and was only too happy to pass the more mundane tasks along to someone else.
He wasn't adverse to having a cute blond with great legs working for him either, but there was something...not quite right about her. Some unknown quality, something that was just a little off. Jin hadn't figured out yet what it was, but he knew he'd get it eventually. He wasn't a P.I. for nothing, after all.
The street door banged closed downstairs, and Jin knew somebody was approaching his office. The visitor had to be for him; Ueda, the lawyer who used to share the building with him, had moved on to nicer premises months ago, and only Jin's name was on the outside door now.
Of course, he mused, it could be Miss Koki's boyfriend coming to pick her up from work again. He was a sweetheart, that Nakamaru, and didn't like to let his girlfriend walk home alone. If that was the case, Jin thought he might just offer to finish the work himself and let the two lovebirds go. It was getting late, and he wasn't expecting any more business to come his way that evening.
He certainly wasn't expecting the bedraggled young man in a feathered suit who pushed his way past Miss Koki and collapsed on Jin's office floor, begging for help.
Startled, Jin withdrew his legs from the desk, accidentally sending his magazine stack flying, and approached the poor wretch. Miss Koki was looking down at him with a peculiar expression, and she tossed her long, blond tresses over her shoulder in a dismissive fashion as she turned on her heel and stalked out.
"Next time, you might want to try waiting till my secretary shows you in," Jin commented as he helped the young stranger to a chair. "She doesn't take kindly to being pushed around."
He sounded puzzled. "She?"
"Yes, she. Miss Koki, my secretary," Jin repeated. "And I don't think she's happy about being dripped on."
The young man gave him a helpless look and squirmed awkwardly on the chair. He'd clearly caught the worst of the storm, being thoroughly drenched, and his slight frame was wracked by uncontrollable shivers. He wasn't dressed for the weather at all.
In fact, Jin wasn't sure what he *was* dressed for, because the stranger's thin black jacket was covered in waterlogged feathers of every hue, there were glittery trails up and down his matching trousers and his tiny pink top was saturated almost to the point of transparency. The only explanation Jin could come up with was that the unexpected arrival had been left behind when the carnival rolled out of town two days earlier.
Still, whatever his origins, he didn't look dangerous, or mean-spirited, or like anything other than a drowned rat. Jin rummaged around in the cupboard behind his desk and found a couple of towels, tossing them over to the young man.
"Here. Maybe these'll help, Mr...?"
"Kamenashi. Kazuya Kamenashi. Just call me 'Kame' - I don't know how much time I have," he gasped out as he stripped off his sodden jacket and began to rub himself vigorously with a towel. As he dried off his hair, finally pushing the dark auburn strands out of his eyes and according him a clear view of Jin, he exclaimed, "You look just like him!"
"Just like who?" Jin asked, mystified.
"Just like Jin Akanishi!" Kame seemed much brighter now.
Jin pointed to his office door, where his name was spelt out in big, black letters. Backwards, admittedly, because they were on the other side of the glass, but present nonetheless. "That's probably because I *am* Jin Akanishi."
"Maybe for *this* world."
Jin stared at Kame in utter bewilderment. The other man appeared to be sane - appeared to be quite a looker, in fact, once all that wet hair was out of his face - but appearances were deceiving. It was obvious that Kame's clothes weren't the only things about him that were waterlogged.
"I hope you're going to explain that," Jin said irritably, "because I have no idea what you're talking about and my office hours are over in," he made a big show of checking his watch, "about two minutes."
"Wait!" Kame wrapped the larger of the two towels about his shoulders and huddled underneath in a vain attempt to ward off the cold. "I can explain. Sort of. Actually, I was hoping maybe you could." He looked at Jin with such hope and desperation in his eyes that the detective couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"You're probably crazy," Jin said without malice, "but I'll listen. Come on back here and let's see if I've got anything that'll keep you from freezing to death."
He invited Kame into the small back room that he used when he occasionally slept at the office. The other man wasn't likely to mind the mess. Jin ushered him onto the comfortable couch, took away the towel and handed him a blanket instead while he investigated the clutter that covered every available surface. After rooting around in a mountain of fabric that turned out to be mostly random scraps of tartan mixed with tiger-striped swimsuits, he eventually located a clean pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt.
"They'll probably be too big, but..." Jin shrugged. "There's a bathroom downstairs, to the left of the door. I'll see if there's any coffee left while you change."
There wasn't any coffee, but Jin managed to sweet-talk Miss Koki into parting with a little of her private stash by complimenting her on her new tattoo. She glared disapprovingly at Kame, who was making his way back up to Jin's office, and declared that she was leaving for the night. Jin locked the front door after her and rejoined Kame in the back room, armed with two steaming cups of coffee. He set them both down on the small table and took a seat at one end of the long couch.
Kame, who was now in dry clothing but barefoot, wrapped the blanket round his legs and took the opposite end. The clothing didn't hang on him quite so much as Jin would have thought - once dry, Kame wasn't such a tiny little thing after all. But nobody looked impressive draped in soggy feathers.
"Okay, I said I'd listen," Jin said after they'd both taken a few revitalising sips. "That doesn't mean I'll definitely be able to help you, though. You understand that, right?"
"Are you a private investigator or not?" Kame asked, sounding a trifle impatient.
"I am, but-"
"Then you solve mysteries for a living."
Jin nodded. He thought he'd better not tell Kame what most of his cases were like. The missing idol had been a fluke - a friend of a friend had put in a good word for him with the client and persuaded them to engage his services. Usually, it was a mix of lost pets, the occasional runaway kid, and small-time thefts. Nothing much grand enough to be considered a "mystery".
"I'll listen," he said again, "so start from the beginning. What do you mean by telling me I look like myself?"
Kame took another sip of his coffee, cradling the cup in his hands for the additional warmth. "I know you...or at least, I know *a* you."
"Do I know you?"
"Probably not. Have you ever been to a KAT-TUN concert?"
"Huh?" Jin looked askance at Kame, trying to figure out if he was being made fun of. "I've seen cartoons on TV, but never in concert. What are you, a voice actor or something?"
"Not cartoon. KAT- oh, forget it. I'm in a band with five other guys, one of whom happens to be named Jin Akanishi. The two of you look identical. When I was walking past this building and I saw your name on the door, I thought it might be a sign, that maybe you can help me figure out where I am and how I can get back to where I'm supposed to be."
Now Jin was becoming interested...though he still wasn't convinced of Kame's sanity. "Where do you think you're supposed to be?"
"Right now? Getting changed for the encore. We were performing at the Tokyo Dome tonight - they're all going to be wondering where I am..."
Jin set his coffee down on the table with such force that the cup almost cracked. "You're making fun of me!"
"Why would I be doing that? I came here to ask for your help!"
"Look," Jin seethed, "I don't know what you think you're playing at but the Dome shut down three years ago. Don't tell me you don't remember the plane crash because it was in all the papers and on every news broadcast for months."
Kame's face turned an unhealthy shade of grey, and Jin had to rush to rescue the coffee cup before it spilled. "It's true," he whispered, more to himself than to Jin. "It's really true."
Jin was getting annoyed with playing catch-up in the conversation. "What is?"
"That I'm in another world." He clutched at the edge of the blanket, twisting it into knots. "I'm not supposed to be here!"
"You know, I took a case for a psychiatrist a few months back, I've probably still got his number around here somewhere..."
"I'm not crazy," Kame insisted. "I almost wish I was, because then this would be a lot easier to explain, but I'm not."
Jin was starting to wish he'd kicked the pretty lunatic straight back out the front door upon arrival. "Let's pretend for a minute that I believe you," he said slowly, trying to remember where he'd left his gun. "If you're supposed to be on-stage, what are you doing in my office?"
Kame's blanket was starting to fray. "You know that blind alley down the end of the road? I woke up there - I guess it must be nearly an hour ago by now. I was soaking wet, disoriented, and there were half-a-dozen cats staring at me."
"So far, all I'm hearing is that you got unbelievably drunk, missed the concert and passed out in an alley during a storm. No mystery there."
Kame gave a hard yank on the blanket. "I wouldn't miss a performance unless I was dead! I'm a professional!"
Jin smirked. "So am I, and I've got a license to prove it. That doesn't mean I don't screw up from time to time."
Kame gave him a suspicious look. "Who was your examiner?" he asked.
"Uh..." Jin struggled to remember. "A guy named Tomohisa Yamashita, I think."
The other man groaned. "That would explain a lot. Maybe I should've tried asking Koki for help instead."
"That's 'Miss Koki' to you!"
"Miss. Right." Kame couldn't quite suppress a knowing smile. "Anyway, when I woke up I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. I was dressed for the show, didn't have my cell phone or anything with me, so I started walking. Did you know your entire street is deserted?"
"It's a bad neighbourhood to be in after five," Jin explained. "Almost everywhere shuts down and the people take off."
"Except you?"
Jin puffed out his chest proudly. "What have I got to be afraid of?"
"Well..." Kame looked around the shabby room. "I suppose no one's likely to want to break in here."
The dig at his office was insulting but in all honesty, Jin couldn't argue with it. "So, you started walking. Then what?"
"Then I found you. There was nowhere open, no people around, and the only public phones I found were out of order. When I saw the sign on your door, I thought..." Kame's stand-offish expression softened. "I thought I was saved. I didn't recognise anything around me, couldn't even remember how I'd got there, and in the middle of all of it, I saw your name. His name," he corrected himself.
Something twinged in Jin's chest and he shifted awkwardly. "This Jin Akanishi you know, we're a lot alike?"
"Identical," Kame said with heavy emphasis. "And I know a 'Miss Koki' too. And a Tomohisa Yamashita. That's why I think this must be some sort of alternate universe. You're all copies of people in my world!"
"Hey!" Jin protested. "What makes you think you're not all copies of people in *my* world?"
Kame sighed. "All right, maybe it's like that. My point is, this isn't my world and I'm not supposed to be here, and I think maybe you can help me get back home." He paused, then added, "No, I'm sure of it. Your door was the only one that would open."
"This is so weird..." Jin kicked off his boots, crossed his legs and turned sideways on the couch so he could look at Kame properly. He wanted to make sure the other man wasn't just a figment of his imagination, because Jin's imagination had been known to come up with some strange things in its time.
Not that any of them had been as nice to look at as Kame, he thought, faintly wistful. Not by a long shot. At least he'd get a nice view out of it, because it was a sure bet he wasn't going to get paid for this case.
Jin searched through his pockets till he found a notebook and pen, and attempted to look like a deadly competent, hardbitten private eye - easier said than done when said notebook had a pair of gambolling puppies on the cover. "What's the last thing you remember before waking up in the alley?"
"I...uh..." Kame's frustration was written all over his face. "I remember...I was up on a platform. We - Jin and I - were singing a duet, and dancing, and..." He broke off, blushing.
Jin's keen investigative senses told him there was something going on here. "What kind of dancing?"
"That's not important."
"It might be," Jin pressed, but Kame clamped his lips shut and glared at him until he relented. "Fine. I don't really want to hear about how you were dancing with some other version of me, anyway."
"Your other self is a very good dancer," Kame teased. "He really knows how to give the fangirls what they want."
Jin allowed himself to drift off for a moment, thinking happy thoughts about fangirls, but came back to Earth with a bump when he realised that in his chosen occupation, one tended not to get them too often. It wasn't like in the movies, when the cool, effortlessly slick detective found himself with at least one femme fatale on his arm, usually the client.
Well, the closest Jin had ever gotten to having a affair with an infatuated client was a brief fling with Junnosuke Taguchi, the cheerful video-game store owner from round the corner, who'd hired him to investigate his staff when money had started to go missing from the safe. Jin had run some routine background checks, uncovered the string of unsolved crimes that the assistant manager was suspected in, and had managed to set a trap to catch the thief in the act.
Junno's thanks had been effusive to the point of worship, and when Jin woke up one Monday morning after having spent a celebratory weekend with his client, he didn't feel too good about it. Not that he had much recollection of those two days, but what he did remember was unethical at best. That had been three years ago, and he hadn't been with anyone since.
His melancholy must have been obvious, because Kame took hold of the end of the blanket and tucked it over Jin's legs as well so both men were covered, one at each end. "Sorry," he said. "I'll try stick to the point."
"Please."
"We were dancing," Kame continued, "and I was wearing this pink, fluffy, feather boa."
Jin didn't remember seeing it when Kame had entered his office. "Did you leave it in the alley?"
Kame shook his head. "I left it round you...him. While we were dancing, I used it to pull him closer." He smiled in remembrance. "The fans really started screaming then."
"They probably thought you were trying to strangle the poor guy!" Jin huffed. "What's so funny?"
Kame's laughter was a welcome change, though Jin didn't get the joke, and the dingy little room was all the brighter for it.
"I don't think they were worried about strangulation," Kame said once he'd managed to get himself back under control. "They were probably hoping I'd kiss him."
Jin blinked. "Do you guys always do that?"
"No, not really...not to that extent. But..."
"But?" Jin prompted, pen poised to make notes.
Kame gave him a shy smile. "But I thought I'd like to try."
Jin held up his hands in confusion. "Hold on a minute. Let me get something straight - are the two of you involved or not? Because if you're not, that sounds awfully intimate."
"We're not, and we're not allowed to be." Kame's smile took a turn for the twisted. "We're not allowed to date *anyone*. Probably not until we're nearly thirty. If we want real private lives we have to keep them top secret."
Jin arched his eyebrows. "And kissing on-stage at a public concert is private how, exactly?"
"It isn't," Kame admitted, "but I thought I could get away with it in the name of fanservice. I didn't think Jin would mind too much as long as I kept it quick."
"You ever consider the possibility that he did mind, knocked you out and left you in an alley in the rain?" Jin said brightly. He wasn't entirely sold on the 'alternate universe' theory. On the other hand, he couldn't deny that it would explain a lot.
Just not how Kame had arrived there in the first place.
"Somehow, I don't think that's likely."
"So...what happened after you kissed him?"
Kame sat up a little straighter. "That's just it - I don't think I ever got to. I remember reaching for him with the boa, and he took a step forward, then I took a step back..."
"Uh...Kame? Just how close to the edge of this platform were you?"
Kame looked at him with horrified eyes. "You think I fell off the platform?"
"Yeah!" Jin liked this theory. "What was below you?"
"The audience."
"Oh." So much for that idea. Jin abandoned his notebook. "I guess it would be an odd place for one of those trans-dimensional portal things. You probably landed on some innocent girl, knocked yourself out, and this is all some figment of your imagination. Case closed."
Jin was being sarcastic, but Kame took him seriously. "You could be right! That's why I don't remember how I got here, and why everything here is a little off. You're not real!"
"Hey!" Jin took exception to that. "First I'm a copy of someone in your world, now I don't exist? Most of my clients are a lot nicer to me than you are. And they pay me."
"I'm not paying a figment of my imagination. Besides, I don't have any money on me." Kame held his arms open wide. "You saw the state I was in when I arrived."
Jin sighed heavily. "Fine. But when you wake up, go find your own Jin Akanishi and tell him to step in the other direction next time, will you?"
"When I wake up?" Kame sounded genuinely startled.
"If you're unconscious, you'll eventually wake up...most likely," Jin reasoned. "Of course, you could be dead, in which case we have to rethink this whole theory."
Kame shivered. "Let's ignore that possibility. If I'm unconscious, how do I wake myself up?"
"Don't ask me - I don't exist, remember?" Jin said with a shrug.
Kame reached across the couch and put his hand on Jin's arm. "I'm sorry. But if you're inside my head, you must be here for a reason, right? Because Jin Akanishi is important to me."
There was another sharp twinge in Jin's chest as he forced himself to acknowledge that they were no longer talking about a parallel version, but Kame's imagined one. He was Jin Akanishi in all worlds and all times, and for some reason, Kame's subconscious had chosen him to help. It felt right, but it was still weird.
"And my secretary? You imagined her too?"
"Obviously, I thought you needed 'Miss Koki' as part of your background," Kame said. "But if I was supposed to talk to her, she'd still be here. And if I'm imagining you as a detective, you have to help me solve a mystery."
"Isn't that what we're doing right now?" Jin thought they were doing pretty well, given that they had absolutely no solid evidence, just a handful of suspicions and crackpot theories. And at least if he wasn't real, it didn't matter whether he got paid or not because his rent would never be due. "We close the case and you wake up, right?"
"I hope so. If I'm unconscious, everyone must be worrying about me."
Kame sounded so mournful that Jin removed the hand still resting on his arm and cradled it in his own. "We'll wake you up," he said earnestly. "I promise."
"Thank you," Kame murmured, making no effort to take his hand back.
"I'm probably worrying the most, if Kame and I are that close," Jin decided.
"You might be, I don't know. We...used to be close, but..." Kame hesitated, "...we're rebuilding our friendship, I think. Can't you tell me? You're Jin."
"I'm Jin in your imagination," he reminded Kame. "I only know what's in your head, not mine." He screwed up his face and added, "That sounds so wrong!"
Wrong it might have been, but it did make them both laugh, and tremors of mirth met and matched at their clasped hands.
When they stopped, Jin had an idea. "If I don't exist, I can't tell you anything you don't already know, but you can say anything you want to me. Maybe something you want to say to the me out there?" he suggested, gesturing in the general direction of the window as if Kame's waking world lurked somewhere in the neighbourhood.
"You really are smarter than people give you credit for," Kame said admiringly. "Or I think so, at any rate, even if my imagination says there's no way you'll figure out the truth about your secretary."
Jin didn't want to get into that again; he was content to let Miss Koki remain a woman of mystery, so long as she didn't walk out and leave him to do all the paperwork by himself. "I'd say thank you but I'm not sure what you've just said to me."
Kame grinned. "Some things never change. Now, let me see...what do I want to say to you?"
Even Jin could figure that one out. "If I'm right, and I must be because I'm part of your subconscious, then you nearly killed yourself trying to kiss me. What do you *think* you want to say?"
He wasn't expecting Kame to be so blunt about it. "I want to say that I love you," the other man said simply; no frills, no fuss.
Jin fought down a coughing fit that was threatening to put in an appearance, and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. "You're very straightforward, aren't you?"
Kame shrugged nonchalantly. "I've never had any trouble saying that to anyone."
"Obviously you have, or you wouldn't be here in the first place," Jin pointed out. "Why haven't you told me - him - yet?"
"Because..." Jin waited patiently while Kame searched for the right words to answer him. "Because I wasn't sure. I kept thinking about what it would mean for the group, especially if things went wrong. I didn't want to cause problems for anyone."
Jin thought this sounded like a very tragic state of affairs. "Sometimes you have to take those kind of risks to get what you want. If your feelings are that strong, you should be able to explain yourself honestly and help others to see things from your point of view."
Kame looked at him strangely. "Where are you getting all this?"
"Problem pages of Miss Koki's magazines," Jin confessed with an embarrassed smile.
Kame kicked Jin lightly under the blanket. "I knew it was too good to be true."
Jin kicked back. Just because he was a figment of Kame's imagination didn't mean he was going to stand for such unkind treatment.
"There's a lot of good stuff in those magazines," Jin defended himself. "You have no idea how useful those hair-care tips are. Anyway, you've just told me how you feel but you're still here, so maybe you have to make a firm decision to say it when you wake up?"
Kame mulled it over. "It *is* easy to say to you here, where there aren't any consequences."
"Because I'm not real," Jin said quietly. "I'm just here for you to practise on."
He'd been able to ignore the implication that his entire life was a work of fiction, and Kame had been nice enough not to mention it, but it was painful to realise that he only existed for one purpose, for one single event. And, not being real, he wouldn't even be able to reap the benefits from it. Kame was going to wake up and confess to some other Jin, who was of course going to return his feelings and they were both going to live happily ever after, the end.
That hurt a lot worse than hearing he wasn't real.
"I could have imagined a counsellor, or an agony aunt, or anybody else in the world to tell me the same thing," Kame said, finally tugging his hand free from Jin's. "But I imagined you. Because if it isn't enough to tell you how I feel, maybe I need to show you."
Kame tossed the blanket aside and wriggled forwards on the couch until he was toe-to-toe with Jin, who was pressed up against the arm.
Jin swallowed hard. "Show me?"
"Yes." Kame's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Show you. Then my unconscious body will know I've made up my mind, right?"
"And you'll wake up...and I'll disappear."
Kame shifted to a kneeling position so he didn't have to overbalance to reach Jin, tucking his legs underneath him and leaning forward to entwine his fingers in Jin's soft, brown curls. "You'll always be in here...and in here, too" he said gently, pointing to first his head then his heart. "You'll never disappear. The Jin Akanishi I know is completely unforgettable."
"Kazuya Kamenashi is pretty unforgettable himself," Jin mumbled before Kame kissed him, first a light, butterfly kiss, then a deeper, probing kiss that made him forget such trivialities as matter of existence.
He didn't even want to try to figure out if it constituted cheating on Kame's part or not. It didn't matter whether the Jin on the outside shared Kame's feelings - it didn't even matter if *he* did, because it wouldn't count for anything.
He'd only just met the guy, after all, though Kame had made an unusually big impression on him by completely destroying his life. That had to be worth something, if only as a novel topic of conversation.
Could Jin have developed feelings for someone he'd met less than two hours ago? The auburn-haired man was attractive, sure, but he was either a raving lunatic or about to vanish at any moment, neither of which made him a particularly inviting prospect.
But as Kame continued to kiss him, nipping gently at his lower lip, affectionate as a puppy, Jin allowed himself to be swallowed up by sensation. It didn't matter if it all ended in a heartbeat - every second was a precious one, and every touch helped to assuage the awful, aching loneliness.
"You're still here," Jin murmured.
"Then I obviously haven't got my message across yet." Kame stopped and cupped Jin's face in his hands. "I know it sounds ridiculous to ask permission from a figment of my imagination, but just in case we're both wrong, may I?"
The twinge in Jin's chest thickened into a knot, a lump of metal with rough edges that scraped against his tender insides. Pain flared hot and sharp for a few, agonising seconds, then subsided.
"I won't stop you," Jin muttered, though it wasn't what he really wanted to say, and from the momentary flicker of hurt that crossed Kame's face, it wasn't what he'd wanted to hear, either.
"Good." Kame drew his hands down Jin's neck, tracing a cozy trail along the flushed skin, and slipped them under the collar of the rumpled black shirt. The material parted easily - as usual, Jin was only half-buttoned - and Kame's explorations continued, fingers seeking out sensitive spots and skimming soft circles beneath the fabric.
It wasn't quite how Jin had anticipated spending his evening, but he certainly wasn't going to object. He uncrossed his legs and wrapped them round Kame, drawing the other man closer still, and Kame fell against him with a satisfied purr. He was showing no signs of vanishing back to consciousness any time soon.
Jin would miss him if he did, miss the hands that carefully slid his shirt from his shoulders, miss the lips that left blazing points of heat on his bare skin. He peeled Kame out of his borrowed shirt and ventured to leave a trail of his own, lapping at anywhere his eager tongue could reach.
From Kame's breathless moans, he evidently approved. His fingers dipped below the waistband of Jin's black jeans, and Jin welcomed the sensation of Kame's hands on his lower back...right up until the knot in his chest expanded, looping a band of steel around his ribcage and squeezing the remaining breath from his lungs.
Pressed against the side of the couch as he was, Jin had no room to recoil. He brought his hands automatically to his chest to put some distance between himself and Kame, but the other man noticed his difficulties and pulled back of his own accord.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Jin waved a hand to indicate that sorry, he couldn't speak right now owing to a shortage of air and Kame was just going to have to wait if he wanted an answer. He tried taking shallow breaths, drawing in only a little air at a time; eventually, the pressure eased and he was able to breathe normally, free from pain but terribly confused.
As was Kame, to judge by his bewildered expression. "Did I elbow you in the ribs or something?"
Jin slumped sideways, resting his head on the back of the couch. "No, you didn't do anything. I just...maybe I'm getting sick. Can a figment of your imagination get sick?"
"Maybe. I've never met one before." Kame leaned on the couch too so they were facing each other again, and toyed absently with Jin's hair. "Do you feel sick?"
"I feel fine - now. Do I look sick?"
"You look..." Kame flashed a predatory smile, "...delicious. Quite delicious."
"I don't care if I'm not real - you're not going to eat me," Jin warned, only half-joking. There was no telling what the person who'd dreamed him up could do.
"That wasn't what I had in mind." Kame cocked his head and flicked the tip of his tongue lightly over Jin's earlobe. "I'm still here, and you're still mine, aren't you?"
"Because I'm in your head?" Jin couldn't keep the resentment out of his voice.
"Because, Jin Akanishi belongs to me." Kame punctuated his sentence by kissing the tip of Jin's nose. "No matter where he is. What's more, I'm going to tell that to every version I meet until my feelings are returned."
Jin was about to reply that he was sure they would be, just as soon as Kame got back to his own life, when it dawned on him that *he* wanted to be the one to return those feelings. There was something familiar, now, about Kazuya Kamenashi. A smile, a glance, a wink that would drive even a dead man crazy with the promise it held. He knew him - not yet, but he would - and he knew he wanted to be with him.
"Is this really your dream?" Jin wondered aloud.
"Maybe it's *your* dream come true," Kame responded before launching himself at Jin again.
Consumed as he was by fever, Jin didn't have time to think about it. Every cell of his body was under Kame's command, following orders issued through fingertips and a brush of lips, and all he could do was obey.
"You're so *warm*," Kame murmured. "Maybe you really are sick."
"You light me on fire," Jin cracked, quoting an old song he only half-remembered. He'd known it better in the past, he thought - recalled singing it, even.
"Do I drive you crazy too?"
Obviously, Kame knew the song as well. Maybe he'd remember the title. Jin was loath to interrupt him, given that Kame's mouth was now keeping itself occupied on his chest, but it seemed important.
"Hey, do you know what that so-"
Jin cut himself off abruptly as the iron-hard band tightened round his ribs again, feeling like it was trying to condense his torso to the size of a chopstick. He stiffened up, holding himself perfectly still because even the slightest movement sent lightning-bolts of agony through his body.
Kame backed off again, this time looking irritable. "You know, if you don't want to do this, you could just say so and save me getting all worked up for nothing."
"That's not it," Jin wheezed, alarmed by how pale his formerly-flushed skin was turning. His arms had less colour than milk, and if his face was similarly drained he figured he must be looking like nothing so much as a half-dressed ghost.
In heat.
Kame looked at him quizzically, irritation giving way to bewilderment, and held out his hand. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Jin had a momentary flash, an image of Kame offering to help when Jin had...what? When he'd just returned from a long trip, somewhere. Kame had offered and Jin had accepted, but he hadn't offered this and Jin had never asked him to.
Not until now.
"Yeah," Jin gasped. "You can stop wasting time." It hurt to move, but he managed to take Kame's outstretched hand and place it on his hip. "Please, Kame."
Kame shook his head, but in resignation rather than refusal. "You look like you're about ten seconds away from the grave and if I thought it was possible to call a doctor here I'd do it, but..." One hand still on Jin's hip, he used the other to unfasten his jeans. "But I want this too," he confessed.
The thought crossed Jin's mind that if this really was Kame's imagination, he could dream up a doctor any time he liked, but pointing out that fact would have taken more effort than he cared to spare.
Kame. Doctor. The words collided and spawned another image, this time of Kame wearing a white coat and glasses. Jin didn't think Kame was a real doctor, not when there were a bunch of cameras in front of him and he didn't even have a stethoscope, so it must have been a performance. Kame did that sort of thing, right?
"And so do you."
Kame had spoken so quietly that Jin wasn't sure he'd said anything at all. "I...what?"
"Hmm?" Kame looked up. "Did you say something?"
Jin's response came out as a strangled groan, half in pleasure, half in pain, as Kame gave up on the idea of somehow removing his jeans without hurting him further. The smallest shift in position was agony, like knives scraping along his ribs. Kame was going to be the death of him.
Even so, he couldn't bring himself to panic, to do the sensible thing and push Kame away before his chest contracted one final time and squeezed the life right from him. He was getting close, he could feel it. Just a little more, and he'd remember. He'd know why he was there.
Just a little more...
"I'm going to kill you if I keep this up," Kame fretted, even as his hands roamed lower, exploring Jin as much as the constraints of his clothing would allow.
Jin managed the barest hint of a smile. "I don't mind if it's Kame..."
I don't mind if it's Kame because I want to be his, and him to be mine, the way I've never been able to tell him.
Tell him what?
Tell him that I...
Jin bit down on his lip to stifle his cry when Kame began to focus his attentions properly, tenderly stroking where he was needed most. He wanted to touch Kame in return, to let him share in the sensations, but movement was out of the question.
He'd always wanted to touch Kame, it seemed. More images flooded his mind, of shared skits and drama rehearsals, of dance steps and interviews, of hundreds of moments where he'd wanted to say something but never dared. Every time, he'd stopped short of telling Kame, until he'd even started to doubt his own feelings.
They were still young, they had lots of time ahead of them. They weren't allowed to date. It would ruin the group dynamics. What would their families and friends say? Would they be forced to resign?
There were lots of reasons, the best one of all being that Kame might not feel the same way, and Jin would be putting his heart on the line for nothing.
Because like Kame, Jin didn't have any problems saying the words 'I love you'...but when he had to say them to someone he was *in* love with, they stuck in his throat. Better to keep a friend than risk losing them forever, and Jin didn't want to be alone.
But this wasn't real, and he could say whatever he wanted.
"Kame, I..."
"Easy," Kame shushed him. "Just a little more and it'll all be over."
It wasn't clear what he was referring to but Jin thought he was probably right on all counts. He wasn't going to last much longer under Kame's caresses, and when that happened it would likely be on his final breath.
It was getting hard to separate the sensations out, now. The slippery warmth of Kame's palms mingled with the white-hot agony in his chest, one urgent yet gentle, the other slow-building but fierce. Air left his lungs in a shallow whine and Jin wasn't optimistic about getting it back again.
As a teary-eyed Kame brought him to a shaky climax, Jin felt something crack inside him. He cried Kame's name and broke, awash in memories, fantasies and the dream of Kame's lips on his.
"I love you," Jin whispered with his last breath, then he lost consciousness.
-----
"Jin?"
Someone was calling him. *Kame* was calling him.
Jin opened his eyes to find himself lying flat on a bed in a dim hospital room. Everything hurt, especially his chest, which was heavily bandaged, and the bruises he could see were outweighed by the ones he could feel.
A worried-looking Kame was leaning over him. His eyes were red and his face was tense, but when Jin tried to speak to him, a little of the tension melted away and he gave a relieved smile.
"Kame?"
"You're awake!"
Jin was barely whispering; Kame's voice wasn't much louder. From the single lamp and closed blinds, Jin guessed it was night, and even if Kame hadn't been worried about disturbing other patients, he didn't look in much better shape to go screaming from the rooftops than Jin.
"What happened?" Jin said hoarsely.
"You fell off the platform." Kame slid from the uncomfortable looking chair he'd been resting in, and knelt on the floor to put his mouth closer to Jin's ears. "We were dancing; you were trying to pull me closer with a feather boa, and-"
"And you stepped forward and I stepped back, right?" Jin finished for him. "Did I break anything?"
"A couple of ribs, and you almost gave everyone in the Dome a heart attack." Kame swiped a sleeve across his eyes. "The ribs are probably the worst of it, but you're going to be very sore for a while. We weren't sure when you were going to wake up; they gave you something to knock you out - it didn't take much - and you've been unconscious ever since. Actually, I should probably go tell someone you're awake."
He made as if to rise, and Jin tried to stop him, but his arms were so stiff from the fall that the effort set his muscles screaming.
"I'm not going anywhere," Kame assured him. "The hospital staff would only let one of us stay with you tonight, and," his voice became apprehensive, "I wanted it to be me. The other guys are out in the waiting room with your family, and Yamapi's here too. If you'd rather have one of them-"
"Stay," Jin said flatly, cutting Kame off before he disappeared. "You should've stepped in the other direction."
Anguish contorted Kame's features. "I know! And I'm so, so sorry." He bowed, though the effect was somewhat spoiled by his proximity to the bed, since all it did was bring his forehead in contact with the mattress, which shook, jouncing Jin into shifting uncomfortably.
He winced at Kame's apology. "It's not your fault. I was trying to tell you something, only I didn't know it at the time, and I really should have picked a better place for it."
Kame lifted his head, bemused. "What are you babbling about, Jin?"
"I've just been having the strangest dream," Jin explained, "and I told myself - via you - that I needed to be honest about something." He gulped. "No matter how difficult it is."
"Via me?"
"You can hear the whole story later," he promised. When it wasn't such a nuisance to talk, and he could breathe freely again.
Kame nodded. "I'll look forward to it. What were you trying to tell me?"
Jin fervently hoped he'd been given enough painkillers that Kame could chalk up anything he didn't want to hear to medically-induced delirium. Or he could plead brain damage, but he had a feeling Pi would never let him forget that one.
His words came out sounding so muddled that he figured he might have had a head injury anyway. "In the dream, you asked me to help you figure something out - that you wanted to tell me your feelings. But really, I was the one dreaming, and I had to tell you mine so I could wake up."
Kame smiled at him. "You already told me."
"I did? When?"
"As you woke up. You called me and said, 'I love you'. I definitely heard you."
Jin remembered the final moments of his dream and blushed. "I said that to the Kame in my dream."
"But you meant it for me, didn't you? Because if you didn't, I'm going to tell Pi that the doctors said it's perfectly fine for him to jump up and down on you to help your ribs heal."
Jin groaned. "You wouldn't."
"Don't tempt me."
Kame sighed, blowing a warm breeze against Jin's cheek, and rose to his feet. He looked as worn out as Jin felt and Jin's guilt at making everyone worry bubbled hot and acidic inside him. For a moment, he thought Kame was going to break his word and leave after all, but the younger man bent over the bed the way he'd been doing when Jin woke up, placing his hands on the pillow either side of Jin's head.
"I'm glad you're awake again," Kame murmured. "Because it's no fun to do this when you're unconscious."
Deliberately slowly, he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips lightly to Jin's in a kiss so soft and careful that the injured man felt almost no pressure at all. Jin wondered if everything else he remembered about his dream Kame lived up to reality, because if it did, they were definitely going to enjoy themselves when he healed.
"You kissed me while I was lying here unconscious?" he asked, smirking a little.
Kame looked embarrassed. "It works in all the fairy tales. Ueda told me I should try it; I thought I couldn't possibly make things worse."
"I didn't think it was your idea." Jin tried to raise his head to meet Kame for another kiss, but couldn't quite manage the handful of inches required.
Kame pushed him gently back down against the pillow. "You're supposed to be taking it easy, remember?"
"I'll take it easy if you'll nurse me back to health."
Kame gave him a smug look. "But I'm always the doctor. You're much better at playing the nurse."
"Not in this condition, I'm not. Maybe we can get Koki to dress up in a blond wig again and-"
"And?"
Jin started giggling. "Maybe I'll tell you about my dream now after all. Wait till you hear about my secretary!"
---The End---
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Akame
Word count: 7,800
Rating: PG-13/R for some rather disturbing moments and m/m activity.
Genre: Crack, but not of the happy sort. AU-but-not-really. Let's settle on 'Angst', shall we?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, but if anybody's got them for sale I'll happily take them off your hands.
Summary: Jin Akanishi, licensed private investigator, takes on an unusual new case when a drenched Kazuya Kamenashi seeks shelter in his office and claims to be from another world. As the case progresses, Jin learns that the truth is something far stranger...
Author's Notes
I started writing this when I was in a particularly bad mood, and ironically, as my mood improved, the fic got darker. (And I'm not just talking about the storm that's raging outside Jin's office.) It isn't what I intended it to be, but it does have some redeeming moments of light and levity mixed in with the gloom and doom. And there *is* a happy ending, if you're worried, because I like happy endings no matter how much I have to hurt people to get there. Don't worry - nobody dies, and there is Akame fluff in the end, I promise.
Morphean Mystery
The lights were off in Jin's office - not that they were ever on, except on the rare occasion he actually bothered to do paperwork - and the only illumination came from the windows, where the remaining daylight was struggling to break through. Thunder crashed overhead, and the odd flash of lightning brightened the room so much that the faded text on the ancient movie posters was almost legible.
Jin Akanishi, licensed private investigator, propped his boots up on his old oak desk and leaned back to watch the storm. He'd finished a case that day, recovering a valuable stolen idol (the kidnapping of Jun Matsumoto had shocked the nation), and all that was left to do was present his bill to the client. His secretary, Miss Koki Tanaka, was typing it up for him, clacking away in the outer office with keyboard strokes only marginally quieter than the thunder.
She was an odd one, that Miss Koki. She'd turned up at Jin's office one day, supposedly in response to an ad he'd placed, and told him that if he couldn't remember writing the advert then he definitely needed a secretary. Jin certainly couldn't argue with that - he hated paperwork with a passion, and was only too happy to pass the more mundane tasks along to someone else.
He wasn't adverse to having a cute blond with great legs working for him either, but there was something...not quite right about her. Some unknown quality, something that was just a little off. Jin hadn't figured out yet what it was, but he knew he'd get it eventually. He wasn't a P.I. for nothing, after all.
The street door banged closed downstairs, and Jin knew somebody was approaching his office. The visitor had to be for him; Ueda, the lawyer who used to share the building with him, had moved on to nicer premises months ago, and only Jin's name was on the outside door now.
Of course, he mused, it could be Miss Koki's boyfriend coming to pick her up from work again. He was a sweetheart, that Nakamaru, and didn't like to let his girlfriend walk home alone. If that was the case, Jin thought he might just offer to finish the work himself and let the two lovebirds go. It was getting late, and he wasn't expecting any more business to come his way that evening.
He certainly wasn't expecting the bedraggled young man in a feathered suit who pushed his way past Miss Koki and collapsed on Jin's office floor, begging for help.
Startled, Jin withdrew his legs from the desk, accidentally sending his magazine stack flying, and approached the poor wretch. Miss Koki was looking down at him with a peculiar expression, and she tossed her long, blond tresses over her shoulder in a dismissive fashion as she turned on her heel and stalked out.
"Next time, you might want to try waiting till my secretary shows you in," Jin commented as he helped the young stranger to a chair. "She doesn't take kindly to being pushed around."
He sounded puzzled. "She?"
"Yes, she. Miss Koki, my secretary," Jin repeated. "And I don't think she's happy about being dripped on."
The young man gave him a helpless look and squirmed awkwardly on the chair. He'd clearly caught the worst of the storm, being thoroughly drenched, and his slight frame was wracked by uncontrollable shivers. He wasn't dressed for the weather at all.
In fact, Jin wasn't sure what he *was* dressed for, because the stranger's thin black jacket was covered in waterlogged feathers of every hue, there were glittery trails up and down his matching trousers and his tiny pink top was saturated almost to the point of transparency. The only explanation Jin could come up with was that the unexpected arrival had been left behind when the carnival rolled out of town two days earlier.
Still, whatever his origins, he didn't look dangerous, or mean-spirited, or like anything other than a drowned rat. Jin rummaged around in the cupboard behind his desk and found a couple of towels, tossing them over to the young man.
"Here. Maybe these'll help, Mr...?"
"Kamenashi. Kazuya Kamenashi. Just call me 'Kame' - I don't know how much time I have," he gasped out as he stripped off his sodden jacket and began to rub himself vigorously with a towel. As he dried off his hair, finally pushing the dark auburn strands out of his eyes and according him a clear view of Jin, he exclaimed, "You look just like him!"
"Just like who?" Jin asked, mystified.
"Just like Jin Akanishi!" Kame seemed much brighter now.
Jin pointed to his office door, where his name was spelt out in big, black letters. Backwards, admittedly, because they were on the other side of the glass, but present nonetheless. "That's probably because I *am* Jin Akanishi."
"Maybe for *this* world."
Jin stared at Kame in utter bewilderment. The other man appeared to be sane - appeared to be quite a looker, in fact, once all that wet hair was out of his face - but appearances were deceiving. It was obvious that Kame's clothes weren't the only things about him that were waterlogged.
"I hope you're going to explain that," Jin said irritably, "because I have no idea what you're talking about and my office hours are over in," he made a big show of checking his watch, "about two minutes."
"Wait!" Kame wrapped the larger of the two towels about his shoulders and huddled underneath in a vain attempt to ward off the cold. "I can explain. Sort of. Actually, I was hoping maybe you could." He looked at Jin with such hope and desperation in his eyes that the detective couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"You're probably crazy," Jin said without malice, "but I'll listen. Come on back here and let's see if I've got anything that'll keep you from freezing to death."
He invited Kame into the small back room that he used when he occasionally slept at the office. The other man wasn't likely to mind the mess. Jin ushered him onto the comfortable couch, took away the towel and handed him a blanket instead while he investigated the clutter that covered every available surface. After rooting around in a mountain of fabric that turned out to be mostly random scraps of tartan mixed with tiger-striped swimsuits, he eventually located a clean pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt.
"They'll probably be too big, but..." Jin shrugged. "There's a bathroom downstairs, to the left of the door. I'll see if there's any coffee left while you change."
There wasn't any coffee, but Jin managed to sweet-talk Miss Koki into parting with a little of her private stash by complimenting her on her new tattoo. She glared disapprovingly at Kame, who was making his way back up to Jin's office, and declared that she was leaving for the night. Jin locked the front door after her and rejoined Kame in the back room, armed with two steaming cups of coffee. He set them both down on the small table and took a seat at one end of the long couch.
Kame, who was now in dry clothing but barefoot, wrapped the blanket round his legs and took the opposite end. The clothing didn't hang on him quite so much as Jin would have thought - once dry, Kame wasn't such a tiny little thing after all. But nobody looked impressive draped in soggy feathers.
"Okay, I said I'd listen," Jin said after they'd both taken a few revitalising sips. "That doesn't mean I'll definitely be able to help you, though. You understand that, right?"
"Are you a private investigator or not?" Kame asked, sounding a trifle impatient.
"I am, but-"
"Then you solve mysteries for a living."
Jin nodded. He thought he'd better not tell Kame what most of his cases were like. The missing idol had been a fluke - a friend of a friend had put in a good word for him with the client and persuaded them to engage his services. Usually, it was a mix of lost pets, the occasional runaway kid, and small-time thefts. Nothing much grand enough to be considered a "mystery".
"I'll listen," he said again, "so start from the beginning. What do you mean by telling me I look like myself?"
Kame took another sip of his coffee, cradling the cup in his hands for the additional warmth. "I know you...or at least, I know *a* you."
"Do I know you?"
"Probably not. Have you ever been to a KAT-TUN concert?"
"Huh?" Jin looked askance at Kame, trying to figure out if he was being made fun of. "I've seen cartoons on TV, but never in concert. What are you, a voice actor or something?"
"Not cartoon. KAT- oh, forget it. I'm in a band with five other guys, one of whom happens to be named Jin Akanishi. The two of you look identical. When I was walking past this building and I saw your name on the door, I thought it might be a sign, that maybe you can help me figure out where I am and how I can get back to where I'm supposed to be."
Now Jin was becoming interested...though he still wasn't convinced of Kame's sanity. "Where do you think you're supposed to be?"
"Right now? Getting changed for the encore. We were performing at the Tokyo Dome tonight - they're all going to be wondering where I am..."
Jin set his coffee down on the table with such force that the cup almost cracked. "You're making fun of me!"
"Why would I be doing that? I came here to ask for your help!"
"Look," Jin seethed, "I don't know what you think you're playing at but the Dome shut down three years ago. Don't tell me you don't remember the plane crash because it was in all the papers and on every news broadcast for months."
Kame's face turned an unhealthy shade of grey, and Jin had to rush to rescue the coffee cup before it spilled. "It's true," he whispered, more to himself than to Jin. "It's really true."
Jin was getting annoyed with playing catch-up in the conversation. "What is?"
"That I'm in another world." He clutched at the edge of the blanket, twisting it into knots. "I'm not supposed to be here!"
"You know, I took a case for a psychiatrist a few months back, I've probably still got his number around here somewhere..."
"I'm not crazy," Kame insisted. "I almost wish I was, because then this would be a lot easier to explain, but I'm not."
Jin was starting to wish he'd kicked the pretty lunatic straight back out the front door upon arrival. "Let's pretend for a minute that I believe you," he said slowly, trying to remember where he'd left his gun. "If you're supposed to be on-stage, what are you doing in my office?"
Kame's blanket was starting to fray. "You know that blind alley down the end of the road? I woke up there - I guess it must be nearly an hour ago by now. I was soaking wet, disoriented, and there were half-a-dozen cats staring at me."
"So far, all I'm hearing is that you got unbelievably drunk, missed the concert and passed out in an alley during a storm. No mystery there."
Kame gave a hard yank on the blanket. "I wouldn't miss a performance unless I was dead! I'm a professional!"
Jin smirked. "So am I, and I've got a license to prove it. That doesn't mean I don't screw up from time to time."
Kame gave him a suspicious look. "Who was your examiner?" he asked.
"Uh..." Jin struggled to remember. "A guy named Tomohisa Yamashita, I think."
The other man groaned. "That would explain a lot. Maybe I should've tried asking Koki for help instead."
"That's 'Miss Koki' to you!"
"Miss. Right." Kame couldn't quite suppress a knowing smile. "Anyway, when I woke up I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. I was dressed for the show, didn't have my cell phone or anything with me, so I started walking. Did you know your entire street is deserted?"
"It's a bad neighbourhood to be in after five," Jin explained. "Almost everywhere shuts down and the people take off."
"Except you?"
Jin puffed out his chest proudly. "What have I got to be afraid of?"
"Well..." Kame looked around the shabby room. "I suppose no one's likely to want to break in here."
The dig at his office was insulting but in all honesty, Jin couldn't argue with it. "So, you started walking. Then what?"
"Then I found you. There was nowhere open, no people around, and the only public phones I found were out of order. When I saw the sign on your door, I thought..." Kame's stand-offish expression softened. "I thought I was saved. I didn't recognise anything around me, couldn't even remember how I'd got there, and in the middle of all of it, I saw your name. His name," he corrected himself.
Something twinged in Jin's chest and he shifted awkwardly. "This Jin Akanishi you know, we're a lot alike?"
"Identical," Kame said with heavy emphasis. "And I know a 'Miss Koki' too. And a Tomohisa Yamashita. That's why I think this must be some sort of alternate universe. You're all copies of people in my world!"
"Hey!" Jin protested. "What makes you think you're not all copies of people in *my* world?"
Kame sighed. "All right, maybe it's like that. My point is, this isn't my world and I'm not supposed to be here, and I think maybe you can help me get back home." He paused, then added, "No, I'm sure of it. Your door was the only one that would open."
"This is so weird..." Jin kicked off his boots, crossed his legs and turned sideways on the couch so he could look at Kame properly. He wanted to make sure the other man wasn't just a figment of his imagination, because Jin's imagination had been known to come up with some strange things in its time.
Not that any of them had been as nice to look at as Kame, he thought, faintly wistful. Not by a long shot. At least he'd get a nice view out of it, because it was a sure bet he wasn't going to get paid for this case.
Jin searched through his pockets till he found a notebook and pen, and attempted to look like a deadly competent, hardbitten private eye - easier said than done when said notebook had a pair of gambolling puppies on the cover. "What's the last thing you remember before waking up in the alley?"
"I...uh..." Kame's frustration was written all over his face. "I remember...I was up on a platform. We - Jin and I - were singing a duet, and dancing, and..." He broke off, blushing.
Jin's keen investigative senses told him there was something going on here. "What kind of dancing?"
"That's not important."
"It might be," Jin pressed, but Kame clamped his lips shut and glared at him until he relented. "Fine. I don't really want to hear about how you were dancing with some other version of me, anyway."
"Your other self is a very good dancer," Kame teased. "He really knows how to give the fangirls what they want."
Jin allowed himself to drift off for a moment, thinking happy thoughts about fangirls, but came back to Earth with a bump when he realised that in his chosen occupation, one tended not to get them too often. It wasn't like in the movies, when the cool, effortlessly slick detective found himself with at least one femme fatale on his arm, usually the client.
Well, the closest Jin had ever gotten to having a affair with an infatuated client was a brief fling with Junnosuke Taguchi, the cheerful video-game store owner from round the corner, who'd hired him to investigate his staff when money had started to go missing from the safe. Jin had run some routine background checks, uncovered the string of unsolved crimes that the assistant manager was suspected in, and had managed to set a trap to catch the thief in the act.
Junno's thanks had been effusive to the point of worship, and when Jin woke up one Monday morning after having spent a celebratory weekend with his client, he didn't feel too good about it. Not that he had much recollection of those two days, but what he did remember was unethical at best. That had been three years ago, and he hadn't been with anyone since.
His melancholy must have been obvious, because Kame took hold of the end of the blanket and tucked it over Jin's legs as well so both men were covered, one at each end. "Sorry," he said. "I'll try stick to the point."
"Please."
"We were dancing," Kame continued, "and I was wearing this pink, fluffy, feather boa."
Jin didn't remember seeing it when Kame had entered his office. "Did you leave it in the alley?"
Kame shook his head. "I left it round you...him. While we were dancing, I used it to pull him closer." He smiled in remembrance. "The fans really started screaming then."
"They probably thought you were trying to strangle the poor guy!" Jin huffed. "What's so funny?"
Kame's laughter was a welcome change, though Jin didn't get the joke, and the dingy little room was all the brighter for it.
"I don't think they were worried about strangulation," Kame said once he'd managed to get himself back under control. "They were probably hoping I'd kiss him."
Jin blinked. "Do you guys always do that?"
"No, not really...not to that extent. But..."
"But?" Jin prompted, pen poised to make notes.
Kame gave him a shy smile. "But I thought I'd like to try."
Jin held up his hands in confusion. "Hold on a minute. Let me get something straight - are the two of you involved or not? Because if you're not, that sounds awfully intimate."
"We're not, and we're not allowed to be." Kame's smile took a turn for the twisted. "We're not allowed to date *anyone*. Probably not until we're nearly thirty. If we want real private lives we have to keep them top secret."
Jin arched his eyebrows. "And kissing on-stage at a public concert is private how, exactly?"
"It isn't," Kame admitted, "but I thought I could get away with it in the name of fanservice. I didn't think Jin would mind too much as long as I kept it quick."
"You ever consider the possibility that he did mind, knocked you out and left you in an alley in the rain?" Jin said brightly. He wasn't entirely sold on the 'alternate universe' theory. On the other hand, he couldn't deny that it would explain a lot.
Just not how Kame had arrived there in the first place.
"Somehow, I don't think that's likely."
"So...what happened after you kissed him?"
Kame sat up a little straighter. "That's just it - I don't think I ever got to. I remember reaching for him with the boa, and he took a step forward, then I took a step back..."
"Uh...Kame? Just how close to the edge of this platform were you?"
Kame looked at him with horrified eyes. "You think I fell off the platform?"
"Yeah!" Jin liked this theory. "What was below you?"
"The audience."
"Oh." So much for that idea. Jin abandoned his notebook. "I guess it would be an odd place for one of those trans-dimensional portal things. You probably landed on some innocent girl, knocked yourself out, and this is all some figment of your imagination. Case closed."
Jin was being sarcastic, but Kame took him seriously. "You could be right! That's why I don't remember how I got here, and why everything here is a little off. You're not real!"
"Hey!" Jin took exception to that. "First I'm a copy of someone in your world, now I don't exist? Most of my clients are a lot nicer to me than you are. And they pay me."
"I'm not paying a figment of my imagination. Besides, I don't have any money on me." Kame held his arms open wide. "You saw the state I was in when I arrived."
Jin sighed heavily. "Fine. But when you wake up, go find your own Jin Akanishi and tell him to step in the other direction next time, will you?"
"When I wake up?" Kame sounded genuinely startled.
"If you're unconscious, you'll eventually wake up...most likely," Jin reasoned. "Of course, you could be dead, in which case we have to rethink this whole theory."
Kame shivered. "Let's ignore that possibility. If I'm unconscious, how do I wake myself up?"
"Don't ask me - I don't exist, remember?" Jin said with a shrug.
Kame reached across the couch and put his hand on Jin's arm. "I'm sorry. But if you're inside my head, you must be here for a reason, right? Because Jin Akanishi is important to me."
There was another sharp twinge in Jin's chest as he forced himself to acknowledge that they were no longer talking about a parallel version, but Kame's imagined one. He was Jin Akanishi in all worlds and all times, and for some reason, Kame's subconscious had chosen him to help. It felt right, but it was still weird.
"And my secretary? You imagined her too?"
"Obviously, I thought you needed 'Miss Koki' as part of your background," Kame said. "But if I was supposed to talk to her, she'd still be here. And if I'm imagining you as a detective, you have to help me solve a mystery."
"Isn't that what we're doing right now?" Jin thought they were doing pretty well, given that they had absolutely no solid evidence, just a handful of suspicions and crackpot theories. And at least if he wasn't real, it didn't matter whether he got paid or not because his rent would never be due. "We close the case and you wake up, right?"
"I hope so. If I'm unconscious, everyone must be worrying about me."
Kame sounded so mournful that Jin removed the hand still resting on his arm and cradled it in his own. "We'll wake you up," he said earnestly. "I promise."
"Thank you," Kame murmured, making no effort to take his hand back.
"I'm probably worrying the most, if Kame and I are that close," Jin decided.
"You might be, I don't know. We...used to be close, but..." Kame hesitated, "...we're rebuilding our friendship, I think. Can't you tell me? You're Jin."
"I'm Jin in your imagination," he reminded Kame. "I only know what's in your head, not mine." He screwed up his face and added, "That sounds so wrong!"
Wrong it might have been, but it did make them both laugh, and tremors of mirth met and matched at their clasped hands.
When they stopped, Jin had an idea. "If I don't exist, I can't tell you anything you don't already know, but you can say anything you want to me. Maybe something you want to say to the me out there?" he suggested, gesturing in the general direction of the window as if Kame's waking world lurked somewhere in the neighbourhood.
"You really are smarter than people give you credit for," Kame said admiringly. "Or I think so, at any rate, even if my imagination says there's no way you'll figure out the truth about your secretary."
Jin didn't want to get into that again; he was content to let Miss Koki remain a woman of mystery, so long as she didn't walk out and leave him to do all the paperwork by himself. "I'd say thank you but I'm not sure what you've just said to me."
Kame grinned. "Some things never change. Now, let me see...what do I want to say to you?"
Even Jin could figure that one out. "If I'm right, and I must be because I'm part of your subconscious, then you nearly killed yourself trying to kiss me. What do you *think* you want to say?"
He wasn't expecting Kame to be so blunt about it. "I want to say that I love you," the other man said simply; no frills, no fuss.
Jin fought down a coughing fit that was threatening to put in an appearance, and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. "You're very straightforward, aren't you?"
Kame shrugged nonchalantly. "I've never had any trouble saying that to anyone."
"Obviously you have, or you wouldn't be here in the first place," Jin pointed out. "Why haven't you told me - him - yet?"
"Because..." Jin waited patiently while Kame searched for the right words to answer him. "Because I wasn't sure. I kept thinking about what it would mean for the group, especially if things went wrong. I didn't want to cause problems for anyone."
Jin thought this sounded like a very tragic state of affairs. "Sometimes you have to take those kind of risks to get what you want. If your feelings are that strong, you should be able to explain yourself honestly and help others to see things from your point of view."
Kame looked at him strangely. "Where are you getting all this?"
"Problem pages of Miss Koki's magazines," Jin confessed with an embarrassed smile.
Kame kicked Jin lightly under the blanket. "I knew it was too good to be true."
Jin kicked back. Just because he was a figment of Kame's imagination didn't mean he was going to stand for such unkind treatment.
"There's a lot of good stuff in those magazines," Jin defended himself. "You have no idea how useful those hair-care tips are. Anyway, you've just told me how you feel but you're still here, so maybe you have to make a firm decision to say it when you wake up?"
Kame mulled it over. "It *is* easy to say to you here, where there aren't any consequences."
"Because I'm not real," Jin said quietly. "I'm just here for you to practise on."
He'd been able to ignore the implication that his entire life was a work of fiction, and Kame had been nice enough not to mention it, but it was painful to realise that he only existed for one purpose, for one single event. And, not being real, he wouldn't even be able to reap the benefits from it. Kame was going to wake up and confess to some other Jin, who was of course going to return his feelings and they were both going to live happily ever after, the end.
That hurt a lot worse than hearing he wasn't real.
"I could have imagined a counsellor, or an agony aunt, or anybody else in the world to tell me the same thing," Kame said, finally tugging his hand free from Jin's. "But I imagined you. Because if it isn't enough to tell you how I feel, maybe I need to show you."
Kame tossed the blanket aside and wriggled forwards on the couch until he was toe-to-toe with Jin, who was pressed up against the arm.
Jin swallowed hard. "Show me?"
"Yes." Kame's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Show you. Then my unconscious body will know I've made up my mind, right?"
"And you'll wake up...and I'll disappear."
Kame shifted to a kneeling position so he didn't have to overbalance to reach Jin, tucking his legs underneath him and leaning forward to entwine his fingers in Jin's soft, brown curls. "You'll always be in here...and in here, too" he said gently, pointing to first his head then his heart. "You'll never disappear. The Jin Akanishi I know is completely unforgettable."
"Kazuya Kamenashi is pretty unforgettable himself," Jin mumbled before Kame kissed him, first a light, butterfly kiss, then a deeper, probing kiss that made him forget such trivialities as matter of existence.
He didn't even want to try to figure out if it constituted cheating on Kame's part or not. It didn't matter whether the Jin on the outside shared Kame's feelings - it didn't even matter if *he* did, because it wouldn't count for anything.
He'd only just met the guy, after all, though Kame had made an unusually big impression on him by completely destroying his life. That had to be worth something, if only as a novel topic of conversation.
Could Jin have developed feelings for someone he'd met less than two hours ago? The auburn-haired man was attractive, sure, but he was either a raving lunatic or about to vanish at any moment, neither of which made him a particularly inviting prospect.
But as Kame continued to kiss him, nipping gently at his lower lip, affectionate as a puppy, Jin allowed himself to be swallowed up by sensation. It didn't matter if it all ended in a heartbeat - every second was a precious one, and every touch helped to assuage the awful, aching loneliness.
"You're still here," Jin murmured.
"Then I obviously haven't got my message across yet." Kame stopped and cupped Jin's face in his hands. "I know it sounds ridiculous to ask permission from a figment of my imagination, but just in case we're both wrong, may I?"
The twinge in Jin's chest thickened into a knot, a lump of metal with rough edges that scraped against his tender insides. Pain flared hot and sharp for a few, agonising seconds, then subsided.
"I won't stop you," Jin muttered, though it wasn't what he really wanted to say, and from the momentary flicker of hurt that crossed Kame's face, it wasn't what he'd wanted to hear, either.
"Good." Kame drew his hands down Jin's neck, tracing a cozy trail along the flushed skin, and slipped them under the collar of the rumpled black shirt. The material parted easily - as usual, Jin was only half-buttoned - and Kame's explorations continued, fingers seeking out sensitive spots and skimming soft circles beneath the fabric.
It wasn't quite how Jin had anticipated spending his evening, but he certainly wasn't going to object. He uncrossed his legs and wrapped them round Kame, drawing the other man closer still, and Kame fell against him with a satisfied purr. He was showing no signs of vanishing back to consciousness any time soon.
Jin would miss him if he did, miss the hands that carefully slid his shirt from his shoulders, miss the lips that left blazing points of heat on his bare skin. He peeled Kame out of his borrowed shirt and ventured to leave a trail of his own, lapping at anywhere his eager tongue could reach.
From Kame's breathless moans, he evidently approved. His fingers dipped below the waistband of Jin's black jeans, and Jin welcomed the sensation of Kame's hands on his lower back...right up until the knot in his chest expanded, looping a band of steel around his ribcage and squeezing the remaining breath from his lungs.
Pressed against the side of the couch as he was, Jin had no room to recoil. He brought his hands automatically to his chest to put some distance between himself and Kame, but the other man noticed his difficulties and pulled back of his own accord.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Jin waved a hand to indicate that sorry, he couldn't speak right now owing to a shortage of air and Kame was just going to have to wait if he wanted an answer. He tried taking shallow breaths, drawing in only a little air at a time; eventually, the pressure eased and he was able to breathe normally, free from pain but terribly confused.
As was Kame, to judge by his bewildered expression. "Did I elbow you in the ribs or something?"
Jin slumped sideways, resting his head on the back of the couch. "No, you didn't do anything. I just...maybe I'm getting sick. Can a figment of your imagination get sick?"
"Maybe. I've never met one before." Kame leaned on the couch too so they were facing each other again, and toyed absently with Jin's hair. "Do you feel sick?"
"I feel fine - now. Do I look sick?"
"You look..." Kame flashed a predatory smile, "...delicious. Quite delicious."
"I don't care if I'm not real - you're not going to eat me," Jin warned, only half-joking. There was no telling what the person who'd dreamed him up could do.
"That wasn't what I had in mind." Kame cocked his head and flicked the tip of his tongue lightly over Jin's earlobe. "I'm still here, and you're still mine, aren't you?"
"Because I'm in your head?" Jin couldn't keep the resentment out of his voice.
"Because, Jin Akanishi belongs to me." Kame punctuated his sentence by kissing the tip of Jin's nose. "No matter where he is. What's more, I'm going to tell that to every version I meet until my feelings are returned."
Jin was about to reply that he was sure they would be, just as soon as Kame got back to his own life, when it dawned on him that *he* wanted to be the one to return those feelings. There was something familiar, now, about Kazuya Kamenashi. A smile, a glance, a wink that would drive even a dead man crazy with the promise it held. He knew him - not yet, but he would - and he knew he wanted to be with him.
"Is this really your dream?" Jin wondered aloud.
"Maybe it's *your* dream come true," Kame responded before launching himself at Jin again.
Consumed as he was by fever, Jin didn't have time to think about it. Every cell of his body was under Kame's command, following orders issued through fingertips and a brush of lips, and all he could do was obey.
"You're so *warm*," Kame murmured. "Maybe you really are sick."
"You light me on fire," Jin cracked, quoting an old song he only half-remembered. He'd known it better in the past, he thought - recalled singing it, even.
"Do I drive you crazy too?"
Obviously, Kame knew the song as well. Maybe he'd remember the title. Jin was loath to interrupt him, given that Kame's mouth was now keeping itself occupied on his chest, but it seemed important.
"Hey, do you know what that so-"
Jin cut himself off abruptly as the iron-hard band tightened round his ribs again, feeling like it was trying to condense his torso to the size of a chopstick. He stiffened up, holding himself perfectly still because even the slightest movement sent lightning-bolts of agony through his body.
Kame backed off again, this time looking irritable. "You know, if you don't want to do this, you could just say so and save me getting all worked up for nothing."
"That's not it," Jin wheezed, alarmed by how pale his formerly-flushed skin was turning. His arms had less colour than milk, and if his face was similarly drained he figured he must be looking like nothing so much as a half-dressed ghost.
In heat.
Kame looked at him quizzically, irritation giving way to bewilderment, and held out his hand. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Jin had a momentary flash, an image of Kame offering to help when Jin had...what? When he'd just returned from a long trip, somewhere. Kame had offered and Jin had accepted, but he hadn't offered this and Jin had never asked him to.
Not until now.
"Yeah," Jin gasped. "You can stop wasting time." It hurt to move, but he managed to take Kame's outstretched hand and place it on his hip. "Please, Kame."
Kame shook his head, but in resignation rather than refusal. "You look like you're about ten seconds away from the grave and if I thought it was possible to call a doctor here I'd do it, but..." One hand still on Jin's hip, he used the other to unfasten his jeans. "But I want this too," he confessed.
The thought crossed Jin's mind that if this really was Kame's imagination, he could dream up a doctor any time he liked, but pointing out that fact would have taken more effort than he cared to spare.
Kame. Doctor. The words collided and spawned another image, this time of Kame wearing a white coat and glasses. Jin didn't think Kame was a real doctor, not when there were a bunch of cameras in front of him and he didn't even have a stethoscope, so it must have been a performance. Kame did that sort of thing, right?
"And so do you."
Kame had spoken so quietly that Jin wasn't sure he'd said anything at all. "I...what?"
"Hmm?" Kame looked up. "Did you say something?"
Jin's response came out as a strangled groan, half in pleasure, half in pain, as Kame gave up on the idea of somehow removing his jeans without hurting him further. The smallest shift in position was agony, like knives scraping along his ribs. Kame was going to be the death of him.
Even so, he couldn't bring himself to panic, to do the sensible thing and push Kame away before his chest contracted one final time and squeezed the life right from him. He was getting close, he could feel it. Just a little more, and he'd remember. He'd know why he was there.
Just a little more...
"I'm going to kill you if I keep this up," Kame fretted, even as his hands roamed lower, exploring Jin as much as the constraints of his clothing would allow.
Jin managed the barest hint of a smile. "I don't mind if it's Kame..."
I don't mind if it's Kame because I want to be his, and him to be mine, the way I've never been able to tell him.
Tell him what?
Tell him that I...
Jin bit down on his lip to stifle his cry when Kame began to focus his attentions properly, tenderly stroking where he was needed most. He wanted to touch Kame in return, to let him share in the sensations, but movement was out of the question.
He'd always wanted to touch Kame, it seemed. More images flooded his mind, of shared skits and drama rehearsals, of dance steps and interviews, of hundreds of moments where he'd wanted to say something but never dared. Every time, he'd stopped short of telling Kame, until he'd even started to doubt his own feelings.
They were still young, they had lots of time ahead of them. They weren't allowed to date. It would ruin the group dynamics. What would their families and friends say? Would they be forced to resign?
There were lots of reasons, the best one of all being that Kame might not feel the same way, and Jin would be putting his heart on the line for nothing.
Because like Kame, Jin didn't have any problems saying the words 'I love you'...but when he had to say them to someone he was *in* love with, they stuck in his throat. Better to keep a friend than risk losing them forever, and Jin didn't want to be alone.
But this wasn't real, and he could say whatever he wanted.
"Kame, I..."
"Easy," Kame shushed him. "Just a little more and it'll all be over."
It wasn't clear what he was referring to but Jin thought he was probably right on all counts. He wasn't going to last much longer under Kame's caresses, and when that happened it would likely be on his final breath.
It was getting hard to separate the sensations out, now. The slippery warmth of Kame's palms mingled with the white-hot agony in his chest, one urgent yet gentle, the other slow-building but fierce. Air left his lungs in a shallow whine and Jin wasn't optimistic about getting it back again.
As a teary-eyed Kame brought him to a shaky climax, Jin felt something crack inside him. He cried Kame's name and broke, awash in memories, fantasies and the dream of Kame's lips on his.
"I love you," Jin whispered with his last breath, then he lost consciousness.
-----
"Jin?"
Someone was calling him. *Kame* was calling him.
Jin opened his eyes to find himself lying flat on a bed in a dim hospital room. Everything hurt, especially his chest, which was heavily bandaged, and the bruises he could see were outweighed by the ones he could feel.
A worried-looking Kame was leaning over him. His eyes were red and his face was tense, but when Jin tried to speak to him, a little of the tension melted away and he gave a relieved smile.
"Kame?"
"You're awake!"
Jin was barely whispering; Kame's voice wasn't much louder. From the single lamp and closed blinds, Jin guessed it was night, and even if Kame hadn't been worried about disturbing other patients, he didn't look in much better shape to go screaming from the rooftops than Jin.
"What happened?" Jin said hoarsely.
"You fell off the platform." Kame slid from the uncomfortable looking chair he'd been resting in, and knelt on the floor to put his mouth closer to Jin's ears. "We were dancing; you were trying to pull me closer with a feather boa, and-"
"And you stepped forward and I stepped back, right?" Jin finished for him. "Did I break anything?"
"A couple of ribs, and you almost gave everyone in the Dome a heart attack." Kame swiped a sleeve across his eyes. "The ribs are probably the worst of it, but you're going to be very sore for a while. We weren't sure when you were going to wake up; they gave you something to knock you out - it didn't take much - and you've been unconscious ever since. Actually, I should probably go tell someone you're awake."
He made as if to rise, and Jin tried to stop him, but his arms were so stiff from the fall that the effort set his muscles screaming.
"I'm not going anywhere," Kame assured him. "The hospital staff would only let one of us stay with you tonight, and," his voice became apprehensive, "I wanted it to be me. The other guys are out in the waiting room with your family, and Yamapi's here too. If you'd rather have one of them-"
"Stay," Jin said flatly, cutting Kame off before he disappeared. "You should've stepped in the other direction."
Anguish contorted Kame's features. "I know! And I'm so, so sorry." He bowed, though the effect was somewhat spoiled by his proximity to the bed, since all it did was bring his forehead in contact with the mattress, which shook, jouncing Jin into shifting uncomfortably.
He winced at Kame's apology. "It's not your fault. I was trying to tell you something, only I didn't know it at the time, and I really should have picked a better place for it."
Kame lifted his head, bemused. "What are you babbling about, Jin?"
"I've just been having the strangest dream," Jin explained, "and I told myself - via you - that I needed to be honest about something." He gulped. "No matter how difficult it is."
"Via me?"
"You can hear the whole story later," he promised. When it wasn't such a nuisance to talk, and he could breathe freely again.
Kame nodded. "I'll look forward to it. What were you trying to tell me?"
Jin fervently hoped he'd been given enough painkillers that Kame could chalk up anything he didn't want to hear to medically-induced delirium. Or he could plead brain damage, but he had a feeling Pi would never let him forget that one.
His words came out sounding so muddled that he figured he might have had a head injury anyway. "In the dream, you asked me to help you figure something out - that you wanted to tell me your feelings. But really, I was the one dreaming, and I had to tell you mine so I could wake up."
Kame smiled at him. "You already told me."
"I did? When?"
"As you woke up. You called me and said, 'I love you'. I definitely heard you."
Jin remembered the final moments of his dream and blushed. "I said that to the Kame in my dream."
"But you meant it for me, didn't you? Because if you didn't, I'm going to tell Pi that the doctors said it's perfectly fine for him to jump up and down on you to help your ribs heal."
Jin groaned. "You wouldn't."
"Don't tempt me."
Kame sighed, blowing a warm breeze against Jin's cheek, and rose to his feet. He looked as worn out as Jin felt and Jin's guilt at making everyone worry bubbled hot and acidic inside him. For a moment, he thought Kame was going to break his word and leave after all, but the younger man bent over the bed the way he'd been doing when Jin woke up, placing his hands on the pillow either side of Jin's head.
"I'm glad you're awake again," Kame murmured. "Because it's no fun to do this when you're unconscious."
Deliberately slowly, he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips lightly to Jin's in a kiss so soft and careful that the injured man felt almost no pressure at all. Jin wondered if everything else he remembered about his dream Kame lived up to reality, because if it did, they were definitely going to enjoy themselves when he healed.
"You kissed me while I was lying here unconscious?" he asked, smirking a little.
Kame looked embarrassed. "It works in all the fairy tales. Ueda told me I should try it; I thought I couldn't possibly make things worse."
"I didn't think it was your idea." Jin tried to raise his head to meet Kame for another kiss, but couldn't quite manage the handful of inches required.
Kame pushed him gently back down against the pillow. "You're supposed to be taking it easy, remember?"
"I'll take it easy if you'll nurse me back to health."
Kame gave him a smug look. "But I'm always the doctor. You're much better at playing the nurse."
"Not in this condition, I'm not. Maybe we can get Koki to dress up in a blond wig again and-"
"And?"
Jin started giggling. "Maybe I'll tell you about my dream now after all. Wait till you hear about my secretary!"
---The End---