[JE] We Can Work It Out
Title: We Can Work It Out
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Ueda/Jin, Kame/Jin, Kame/Koki (all suggested at/implied only)
Word count: approx. 4,000
Rating: G
Genre: Slightly angsty fluff
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit.
Summary: Jin fends off potential heartbreak by getting into shape, with a little help from everyone's favourite boxer.
Author's Note: Yes, I know, not what I ever thought I'd write, either. But Ueda needs more love, pretty little sadist that he is, and of the four starts I made, this is the only one that went anywhere. Title appropriated from the Beatles song of the same name.
We Can Work It Out
Jin doesn't let himself fall in love anymore. The people who love him back only do so up to a point, and the people whose tongues tangle with his one moment and slip to the press the next never really loved him anyway. He's used to it by now, to the blurred photos in Friday and sordid, sleazy rumours that do the rounds behind his back. It doesn't hurt anymore when his friends ask him what happened with Maki; when he goes out for drinks with Kame and his tentative advances are gently but firmly rebuffed, the tightness in his chest stays with him for hours at most.
Ryo's solution is for them to canvas as many clubs as possible, dance with anyone with a pulse whether they're gorgeous or not (and if they're not, to keep drinking until they are), and wake up in unfamiliar beds. Jin tries this for a fortnight before he gets sick of being constantly hungover. In the dark, one warm body is much the same as the next when his fingers are too numb to tell the difference, but the pillow talk leaves a lot to be desired.
Yamapi's solution involves taking a break from the chase altogether, leaving Jin to spend more time hanging out with his best friend. For a while this seems perfect; going out for food, playing video games, making fun of each other's haircuts. Then NEWS release a new single, and suddenly Yamapi spends more time on television than he does with Jin.
There's no heartbreak involved. Jin doesn't pine, or plead, or leave desperate voicemail messages that won't make any sense in the morning. He just takes a little longer to go home, lingering in the dressing room after filming Music Station, or stopping to talk to staff on his way out. He's never had a shortage of friends and he's welcome almost anywhere he goes. He's just not sure where to go.
"If you've got that much free time on your hands you should come to the gym with me," Ueda says when he gets fed up of Jin falling asleep on him. "You'd feel healthier too. More energetic."
Jin infers from this that Ueda takes exception to being used as a pillow when Jin invites him over to watch American movies and enhance his English vocabulary in creative and occasionally scary ways. "I've got plenty of energy," he huffs. "Were you even watching when I did that backflip this morning?"
"One backflip. Kame did four."
"Kame belongs in A.B.C.," Jin grumbles. "Do I look like an acrobat?"
Ueda pokes him in the stomach. "A pregnant one, maybe."
The wrestling match that ensues results in the upset of the popcorn bowl and Jin flat on his stomach, arms pinned behind his back till he agrees to hit the gym. He gives in only because Ueda threatens to tell everybody how badly he lost if he doesn't, and Jin hates to lose.
He also hates to run. Ueda collects him early each morning, long before normal people are even beginning to wake up, and makes him run while he's still half-asleep. "To improve your stamina!" Ueda tells him cheerfully. Jin mumbles an unprintable response and staggers to the nearest bench to collapse. Ueda takes pity on him and allows him to get away with covering half the usual distance - though only because it would take them twice as long, otherwise.
By the time Jin gets to work, his muscles feel like water and he wants nothing more than to return to the blissful inactivity of sleep. Koki makes fun of his exaggerated pained gestures; Kame gives him a sympathetic smile with a hint of amusement and Jin wonders if Kame went through all this when Ueda helped him train for One Pound Gospel. It's not even as if Jin's learning to box. Ueda's too canny to teach Jin anything Jin could turn against him, so they work out together without Jin's hands ever closing into fists, except when Ueda throws a skipping rope at him and takes one himself, making it a challenge.
Everything's a challenge.
At first, Jin loses every time. But then the benefits of regular, rigorous exercise, whether before or after work, begin to make themselves known. Jin still can't handle Ueda's 10km runs, but when he finally manages more skips in three minutes (even though it's only one more, and it doesn't really count because he tripped over on the last one anyway), Ueda congratulates him with a blinding, beautiful smile. Jin returns it in triumph.
-----
"You're looking better," Kame tells him one breaktime.
"Healthier?" Jin asks.
"Happier." Kame passes him a water bottle. "Not so restless."
"I don't have time to be restless," Jin says. "Ueda's even dragging me out on our days off now. I didn't think anybody really trained in the mountains except manga characters."
Kame grins wickedly. "Can I come take pictures for the manual? I'm sure the fans will want to see how manly you've become...shivering under waterfalls and scaling cliffs with your bare hands."
Jin retaliates by running away with Kame's Burberry scarf. Not particularly manly, perhaps, but it sure feels good when he realises that he's just run up sixteen flights of stairs without gasping for breath. Kame catches him trying to use the fire escape, having hit the top floor. It's too bad no amount of working out will decrease the sensitivity of Jin's collarbones.
"I didn't say anything about waterfalls," Ueda says later when Jin tells him about it. "I thought we could go for a hike. But if you really want to freeze to death, I'm sure we can work something out."
Neither thought appeals to Jin, though at least a hike might be accompanied by a picnic - even if Ueda makes him carry it. He never gets the chance, however, because a spate of bad weather keeps them in the city. Ueda lets him off the morning runs when the rain's too heavy. Jin's overall fitness might have improved but he's still more susceptible to colds than any other man in Japan and he can't avoid coming down with the occasional sniffle.
When he inevitably gets sick, Ueda is nice enough not to force him into visiting the gym - though only because he'd sneeze all over the equipment. Jin gets vitamins, energy drinks and packs of tissues thrown at him and counts himself lucky that Ueda isn't making him do sit-ups in his sickbed.
He's surprised to find he actually misses the workouts. Not so much the huffing and puffing, but the company and camaraderie. Even Ueda at his most sadistic is a far better companion than Jin's lonely apartment, or a dalliance with some stranger who doesn't give a damn about him beyond his celebrity status. Ueda's quirky - weird, really - and he's always had an air of mystery about him, but all the members of KAT-TUN have their own eccentricities and they've known each other far too long to make it an issue.
"Are you certain you're up to this?" Ueda asks when Jin appears at his house one morning, ready for their run. "You had such a sneezing fit yesterday you almost fell down the stairs. I thought Koki was going to die laughing."
Jin's growled complaint about Koki is spoilt by a succession of violent sneezes; Ueda lends him a muffler and insists on driving him home, in order that he might make it to work without breaking a rib. There's nothing Jin can do about it. He's never been any good at faking his energy levels. Ueda drops him off outside his building and tells him to go back to bed for an hour, but Jin knows if he does, he'll fall into such a deep sleep that his alarm clock will never reach him and he won't make it to work at all. He does some gentle stretches instead, just to keep in practice. He doesn't want Ueda to give up on him.
Ueda doesn't, of course, though Jin almost wishes he would on those lazy days when Jin just doesn't feel like getting up and torturing his body into shape.
"You're making good progress," Kame says approvingly, running his hand over Jin's newly-firmed stomach when they're changing for a photoshoot. Kame's always been touchy-feely, casually brushing himself up against the others like an overgrown cat. When Kame likes someone, affectionate gestures come easily to him: simple touches, pats and hugs...maybe even a kiss, if he's had enough to drink. It doesn't mean anything to him.
That used to hurt. Jin waits for his heart to skip a beat, for his stomach to flutter against Kame's fingers, for a single, painful blaze of hope to warm him for a second before reality extinguishes it. They've been together since they were kids and even when they weren't on speaking terms, any show of affection from Kame has always hit Jin harder than he thinks it has any right to.
Only this time, it doesn't. There's a tickle of cold fingers on Jin's belly and then Kame resumes changing. When Kame takes his hand away, Jin feels warmer where he used to be left feeling cold.
"It is pretty impressive, isn't it?" he says easily, without so much as a trace of modesty. "If they were casting One Pound Gospel now, they'd probably pick me over you."
Kame cocks his head to one side and pretends to give this some serious consideration. "You're probably more believable as a binge-eater."
"Are you implying that I'm a pig?"
"Remind me again how many slices of pizza you got through at lunch?"
Jin hits him with a mitten and walks off smiling.
His good mood remains unaffected even when Kame spends half the shoot snuggled up with Koki - all in the name of fanservice, of course - and neither of them look too bothered by it. The photographer takes advantage of the new definition in Jin's physique to pair him up with Ueda in all sorts of "macho" poses, most of which end with the two of them degenerating into giggles. There's one great shot of them arm-wrestling while the rest of KAT-TUN cheer them on - Jin hopes it makes it into the magazine.
Ueda goes home with him afterwards because he wants Jin to help him with some English lyrics, and he doesn't mind when Jin has to look things up in his electronic dictionary because the words Ueda wants are so obscure that Jin's never heard of them in Japanese, never mind English. By the time they reach the end of the vocabulary list, Jin's convinced Ueda's writing a song about the symptoms of an incurable disease, as experienced by a mythical creature in an improbable location.
"This might actually sound better in Japanese," he says.
"I think English would convey my feelings better." Ueda doesn't explain what feelings these happen to be, and Jin's not sure he wants to know. "Or maybe French. How do you feel about spending half a year in Paris?"
Jin chokes on his juice. "Try Kame," he suggests. "Especially if you offer to pay his shopping bills."
"I don't think his shopping habits are so expensive..." Ueda says vaguely. Jin doesn't even want to contemplate how large a bill would have to be for Ueda to consider it excessive.
They mess around for a while on Jin's guitar, working how best to piece the song together. Jin's not even sure what genre it's supposed to be. He's not sure Ueda knows, either. Possibly a softly-strummed tribute to dissection, or maybe a maudlin dirge about how even fictional creatures can have their hearts (or other internal organs) broken by that greatest of incurable afflictions, Love. No one's ever entirely certain what Ueda writes about until he explains it, so Jin just goes with the flow and does his best with the pronunciations he's not positive about.
It's long past midnight by the time Ueda declares himself satisfied with the scribbled chords and careful katakana in his notebook. He doesn't say what his plans are. Ueda has a file of songs carefully hoarded away, sometimes played for friends, occasionally brought out for performances. Jin knows because he has one too.
"Stay," Jin suggests when Ueda says he'll get a taxi home. The trains stopped running hours ago and Jin's car's in the shop. Though Ueda says he wouldn't trust Jin to drive him anyway, the way he's yawning. "I'm asleep already - I'll never notice you're here."
"You will when I beat you to the bathroom in the morning," Ueda says, but he doesn't argue. Jin hands him a stack of bedding and leaves him to crash on the couch.
By the time Jin wakes up, Ueda's nowhere in sight. There's a note accusing Jin of sleeping like the dead, which is true unless it's one of Kame's phone calls, which even the dead wouldn't dare to ignore. Jin figures Ueda's already left for a run without him. For a moment, he entertains the thought of trying to catch up. One look at his watch persuades him otherwise.
Later that morning, when they're in the studio and filming Cartoon KAT-TUN episodes, Jin says to Ueda, "You were gone when I woke up." Four interested heads, none of them belonging to Ueda, turn to face him. There's been a lack of good gossip since Kame's last Shinjuku escapade.
"I tried everything short of pouring water over you," Ueda replies without looking, concentrating only on tying his bootlaces. "I didn't think you'd appreciate me soaking your sheets. Letting you sleep in was the least I could do after keeping you up half the night."
Kame and Koki hide behind Junno so they can giggle like a pair of schoolgirls. Nakamaru looks like he wants to do the same but is worried that Jin will mock him for it.
It takes a second for the connotations to sink in and Jin rushes to prevent a misunderstanding. "We were working on a song," he says. "It was work."
"A love song?" Kame's question is innocent but his smirk isn't.
Koki follows his lead. "Maybe another duet for the two of you?"
"With more random European languages?" Junno asks.
Ueda finally looks up, bootlaces no longer trailing. "It's all in English," he says proudly. "Akanishi helped."
KT-TN give each other wary looks, no doubt remembering such gems as 'Lovejuice' and 'Dictator', and silently agree to drop the subject.
-----
When KAT-TUN find themselves with three whole days off, Ueda goes to Okinawa, taking Nakamaru with him. They take a night flight after work and Ueda sends Jin a mail when he arrives, reminding him that he may be on holiday but he's got no excuse to skive. Woe betide Jin if he doesn't drag himself out for a run.
It's lonely, running through the park in the early morning gloom without Ueda's presence beside him. Jin misses the random commentary and odd pieces of advice. Sometimes Ueda tells him to do things that are completely nonsensical, then smiles gleefully at his confusion. Sometimes Jin retorts but mostly he laughs. Ueda knows he's neither a child nor an idiot, and as long as that knowledge is certain, Jin's content to let himself play the fool.
The second morning, it's even harder for Jin to get up and go. He dawdles, getting changed so slowly he hopes a distraction will come along before he finishes. It does, in the form of a tracksuited Kame at his front door.
"Ueda sent me a mail last night," Kame explains. "He said you'd probably need some motivation today. Think you can keep up?"
Jin grabs a sweatshirt and his keys and struts past Kame. They'll take the stairs, of course. "Think you can keep up?"
It's not a race, though they do speed up when a starry-eyed fangirl spots Kame and chases them halfway round the park. Jin can't stop laughing when they finally lose her. Tying his hair back seems to help him stay incognito, but Kame's hair's too short to tie up right now and every KAT-TUN fangirl in Japan knows what he looks like in a tracksuit.
"It's not funny!" Kame protests, but he's laughing too. Two grown men shouldn't have to resort to ducking behind bushes to evade teenage girls.
"This never happens when I'm out with Ueda," Jin says. "They don't dare approach him. You're too friendly."
"Somebody has to be." Kame's laughter winds down so they start back, keeping a close eye out for fans. "Look on the bright side: at least now you can outrun them."
Kame goes with him again the next morning and breakfasts with him afterwards. It's obvious Kame's ready to return to work - he throws himself into cooking with such enthusiasm that he ends up making three times as much food as they need. Jin charitably offers to eat the excess, but Kame says if he does, he'll be spending the rest of the day in the gym.
"Without Ueda," Kame adds, smirking.
Jin shrugs. "So? I'm a big boy, I can work out by myself."
"You're also a lazy peacock whose interest in getting in shape lasts only as long as there's someone around to notice."
"And you're a workaholic neat-freak," Jin retorts. Kame steals his plate, only returning it when Jin adds, "Who makes the best scrambled eggs in the world."
"Anyway," Jin says when they've finished eating and Kame makes him help clear up, "it's not true that I only do things when there's someone around to watch."
"I guess not...lots of people watch you on television and you don't do anything then, so..."
Jin flicks a teatowel at Kame. Kame snatches up its twin and retaliates. The dishes can wait.
"Take it back," Jin says. "Take it back or I'm pouring oil all over your pristine kitchen floor."
Kame rolls his eyes. "The floor you're currently standing on and would have to cross in order to leave my apartment? Go right ahead."
It occurs to Jin that perhaps he should've given that one more thought. Kame swats him with the teatowel while he contemplates a fresh strategy and the fight begins anew.
Eventually, the kitchen is clear and a draw has been declared, if only because neither of them will admit a loss. "Thanks for breakfast," Jin says.
Kame nods. "No problem." He walks Jin to the door to see him out. "I didn't mean it, by the way."
"I know."
"But don't try to tell me you're doing all this just so Ryo will stop saying you're fat."
"Like I care what that skinny little monkey thinks. I feel good about myself, Kame."
"Yeah, but not because you love exercise," Kame says knowingly. "You like the company!"
Kame shuts up when Jin starts alluding to Koki's gigantic - and extremely obvious - crush on him. It's a good thing pink is one of Kame's best colours.
There's still a pang of jealousy when Jin thinks about them - about Kame and anyone, really - and he supposes that will never go away. They've been friends for too long, in one form or another, and Jin has always been possessive. But Kame could do a lot worse, and Jin thinks that maybe it's better this way, to keep Kame like this rather than risk losing him by straining the boundaries of their friendship. They've weathered too many storms already.
No more broken hearts. That's right. Jin's not going to give himself away again. Not going to get his emotions involved. Everything is going to be simple, uncomplicated, straightforward. Just the way he likes it, with no hidden pitfalls and coded messages that spell out disaster.
"It's not like that," Jin says quietly. "I don't like being alone."
"You don't have to be." Kame's eyes are the warm brown of melted chocolate, familiar and comforting. "You have plenty of people who want to be with you - just reach out to them."
"And if I reach out and get my hand slapped away?"
"Then stop reaching for places that will get you arrested for public indecency." Jin mock-scowls and Kame drops the teasing tone. "Not everyone's going to turn you down or screw you over, Jin. Just because you haven't found what you're looking for yet doesn't mean you're never going to - not unless you shut yourself off completely, and you're too young to do that."
"Oi!" Jin resents hearing this from a guy who, no matter how mature he may act sometimes, is actually younger than him. "Just because you have a thing for women twice your age doesn't mean you get to call me 'young'!"
Kame laughs at his indignation. "Then don't act like you're some jaded, world-weary superstar who's done it all already. Stop waiting around because it's safer, hoping nothing bad will happen to you if you never make a move."
Jin hopes his expression conveys how utterly unimpressed he is with Kame's attempts to give him advice on how to handle his love life. He's been there - been on the next stool at the bar when Kame's relationships crash and burn. Kame falls hard but he always - always - picks himself up and carries on. He's had serious affairs and casual pick-ups and everything in between, and still he remains optimistic.
"Fine," Kame says at last when Jin lets the silence hang. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's none of my business. If you're satisfied like this, then I'm happy for you. But if you're not, and the only reason is because you're scared you'll be rejected, or you think there's no chance, then you really are 'Bakanishi'."
"Worry about yourself for a change," Jin advises. "Valentine's Day is coming up and I saw Koki searching for chocolate heart recipes on the Internet."
-----
All joking aside, Jin appreciates what Kame's trying to tell him. He's just not sure he wants to listen. Above all else, Jin likes to be comfortable, and the friendship he has with Ueda? That's comfortable. That's easy and unthreatening and safe. There are no fights (except when their towels get mixed up), no jealous rages (except when Ueda shows off by breaking bricks with his hands and Jin gets annoyed that he can't), no broken hearts when one of them is too busy to make it (just a little irritation and a fast-fading hint of loneliness). Jin's used to waiting, to making sure. Less risk that way.
It's business as usual the next morning. Ueda and Nakamaru have returned from their trip and KAT-TUN have a meeting with their choreographer at ten. A completely pointless meeting, given that the group have abandoned all attempts at dancing in sync in favour of an individual, stylistic (read: messy) approach, but it's still work.
Ueda turns up at Jin's door slightly earlier than usual, holding a folded bag which he insists on putting in the fridge. "It's a present," he says. "Kame mailed me to say you didn't slack off, so I thought you deserved a treat."
Jin hopes it's not one of Ueda's 'high on nutrition, low on taste' snacks, but doesn't pry. He'll see for himself later. "Have a good trip?"
"It was a nice break. Too cold to go in the sea, but we took some photos on the beach. I'll have to go back when the weather's warmer."
"When you do..." Jin takes a deep breath and lets it out in a rush. Maybe Kame's right. He has to start somewhere. "When you do, I'd like to go with."
Ueda gives him that blinding, beautiful smile, the one that says he should be doing toothpaste commercials rather than increasingly weird gum ones. "I'd like that. Next time, okay?"
Jin smiles back. "Okay." It's not much, but it's a step in the right direction.
Ueda sets a tough pace for their morning run; Jin falters, sometimes, but he always catches up again. Today, his footsteps are lighter than air.
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Ueda/Jin, Kame/Jin, Kame/Koki (all suggested at/implied only)
Word count: approx. 4,000
Rating: G
Genre: Slightly angsty fluff
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit.
Summary: Jin fends off potential heartbreak by getting into shape, with a little help from everyone's favourite boxer.
Author's Note: Yes, I know, not what I ever thought I'd write, either. But Ueda needs more love, pretty little sadist that he is, and of the four starts I made, this is the only one that went anywhere. Title appropriated from the Beatles song of the same name.
We Can Work It Out
Jin doesn't let himself fall in love anymore. The people who love him back only do so up to a point, and the people whose tongues tangle with his one moment and slip to the press the next never really loved him anyway. He's used to it by now, to the blurred photos in Friday and sordid, sleazy rumours that do the rounds behind his back. It doesn't hurt anymore when his friends ask him what happened with Maki; when he goes out for drinks with Kame and his tentative advances are gently but firmly rebuffed, the tightness in his chest stays with him for hours at most.
Ryo's solution is for them to canvas as many clubs as possible, dance with anyone with a pulse whether they're gorgeous or not (and if they're not, to keep drinking until they are), and wake up in unfamiliar beds. Jin tries this for a fortnight before he gets sick of being constantly hungover. In the dark, one warm body is much the same as the next when his fingers are too numb to tell the difference, but the pillow talk leaves a lot to be desired.
Yamapi's solution involves taking a break from the chase altogether, leaving Jin to spend more time hanging out with his best friend. For a while this seems perfect; going out for food, playing video games, making fun of each other's haircuts. Then NEWS release a new single, and suddenly Yamapi spends more time on television than he does with Jin.
There's no heartbreak involved. Jin doesn't pine, or plead, or leave desperate voicemail messages that won't make any sense in the morning. He just takes a little longer to go home, lingering in the dressing room after filming Music Station, or stopping to talk to staff on his way out. He's never had a shortage of friends and he's welcome almost anywhere he goes. He's just not sure where to go.
"If you've got that much free time on your hands you should come to the gym with me," Ueda says when he gets fed up of Jin falling asleep on him. "You'd feel healthier too. More energetic."
Jin infers from this that Ueda takes exception to being used as a pillow when Jin invites him over to watch American movies and enhance his English vocabulary in creative and occasionally scary ways. "I've got plenty of energy," he huffs. "Were you even watching when I did that backflip this morning?"
"One backflip. Kame did four."
"Kame belongs in A.B.C.," Jin grumbles. "Do I look like an acrobat?"
Ueda pokes him in the stomach. "A pregnant one, maybe."
The wrestling match that ensues results in the upset of the popcorn bowl and Jin flat on his stomach, arms pinned behind his back till he agrees to hit the gym. He gives in only because Ueda threatens to tell everybody how badly he lost if he doesn't, and Jin hates to lose.
He also hates to run. Ueda collects him early each morning, long before normal people are even beginning to wake up, and makes him run while he's still half-asleep. "To improve your stamina!" Ueda tells him cheerfully. Jin mumbles an unprintable response and staggers to the nearest bench to collapse. Ueda takes pity on him and allows him to get away with covering half the usual distance - though only because it would take them twice as long, otherwise.
By the time Jin gets to work, his muscles feel like water and he wants nothing more than to return to the blissful inactivity of sleep. Koki makes fun of his exaggerated pained gestures; Kame gives him a sympathetic smile with a hint of amusement and Jin wonders if Kame went through all this when Ueda helped him train for One Pound Gospel. It's not even as if Jin's learning to box. Ueda's too canny to teach Jin anything Jin could turn against him, so they work out together without Jin's hands ever closing into fists, except when Ueda throws a skipping rope at him and takes one himself, making it a challenge.
Everything's a challenge.
At first, Jin loses every time. But then the benefits of regular, rigorous exercise, whether before or after work, begin to make themselves known. Jin still can't handle Ueda's 10km runs, but when he finally manages more skips in three minutes (even though it's only one more, and it doesn't really count because he tripped over on the last one anyway), Ueda congratulates him with a blinding, beautiful smile. Jin returns it in triumph.
-----
"You're looking better," Kame tells him one breaktime.
"Healthier?" Jin asks.
"Happier." Kame passes him a water bottle. "Not so restless."
"I don't have time to be restless," Jin says. "Ueda's even dragging me out on our days off now. I didn't think anybody really trained in the mountains except manga characters."
Kame grins wickedly. "Can I come take pictures for the manual? I'm sure the fans will want to see how manly you've become...shivering under waterfalls and scaling cliffs with your bare hands."
Jin retaliates by running away with Kame's Burberry scarf. Not particularly manly, perhaps, but it sure feels good when he realises that he's just run up sixteen flights of stairs without gasping for breath. Kame catches him trying to use the fire escape, having hit the top floor. It's too bad no amount of working out will decrease the sensitivity of Jin's collarbones.
"I didn't say anything about waterfalls," Ueda says later when Jin tells him about it. "I thought we could go for a hike. But if you really want to freeze to death, I'm sure we can work something out."
Neither thought appeals to Jin, though at least a hike might be accompanied by a picnic - even if Ueda makes him carry it. He never gets the chance, however, because a spate of bad weather keeps them in the city. Ueda lets him off the morning runs when the rain's too heavy. Jin's overall fitness might have improved but he's still more susceptible to colds than any other man in Japan and he can't avoid coming down with the occasional sniffle.
When he inevitably gets sick, Ueda is nice enough not to force him into visiting the gym - though only because he'd sneeze all over the equipment. Jin gets vitamins, energy drinks and packs of tissues thrown at him and counts himself lucky that Ueda isn't making him do sit-ups in his sickbed.
He's surprised to find he actually misses the workouts. Not so much the huffing and puffing, but the company and camaraderie. Even Ueda at his most sadistic is a far better companion than Jin's lonely apartment, or a dalliance with some stranger who doesn't give a damn about him beyond his celebrity status. Ueda's quirky - weird, really - and he's always had an air of mystery about him, but all the members of KAT-TUN have their own eccentricities and they've known each other far too long to make it an issue.
"Are you certain you're up to this?" Ueda asks when Jin appears at his house one morning, ready for their run. "You had such a sneezing fit yesterday you almost fell down the stairs. I thought Koki was going to die laughing."
Jin's growled complaint about Koki is spoilt by a succession of violent sneezes; Ueda lends him a muffler and insists on driving him home, in order that he might make it to work without breaking a rib. There's nothing Jin can do about it. He's never been any good at faking his energy levels. Ueda drops him off outside his building and tells him to go back to bed for an hour, but Jin knows if he does, he'll fall into such a deep sleep that his alarm clock will never reach him and he won't make it to work at all. He does some gentle stretches instead, just to keep in practice. He doesn't want Ueda to give up on him.
Ueda doesn't, of course, though Jin almost wishes he would on those lazy days when Jin just doesn't feel like getting up and torturing his body into shape.
"You're making good progress," Kame says approvingly, running his hand over Jin's newly-firmed stomach when they're changing for a photoshoot. Kame's always been touchy-feely, casually brushing himself up against the others like an overgrown cat. When Kame likes someone, affectionate gestures come easily to him: simple touches, pats and hugs...maybe even a kiss, if he's had enough to drink. It doesn't mean anything to him.
That used to hurt. Jin waits for his heart to skip a beat, for his stomach to flutter against Kame's fingers, for a single, painful blaze of hope to warm him for a second before reality extinguishes it. They've been together since they were kids and even when they weren't on speaking terms, any show of affection from Kame has always hit Jin harder than he thinks it has any right to.
Only this time, it doesn't. There's a tickle of cold fingers on Jin's belly and then Kame resumes changing. When Kame takes his hand away, Jin feels warmer where he used to be left feeling cold.
"It is pretty impressive, isn't it?" he says easily, without so much as a trace of modesty. "If they were casting One Pound Gospel now, they'd probably pick me over you."
Kame cocks his head to one side and pretends to give this some serious consideration. "You're probably more believable as a binge-eater."
"Are you implying that I'm a pig?"
"Remind me again how many slices of pizza you got through at lunch?"
Jin hits him with a mitten and walks off smiling.
His good mood remains unaffected even when Kame spends half the shoot snuggled up with Koki - all in the name of fanservice, of course - and neither of them look too bothered by it. The photographer takes advantage of the new definition in Jin's physique to pair him up with Ueda in all sorts of "macho" poses, most of which end with the two of them degenerating into giggles. There's one great shot of them arm-wrestling while the rest of KAT-TUN cheer them on - Jin hopes it makes it into the magazine.
Ueda goes home with him afterwards because he wants Jin to help him with some English lyrics, and he doesn't mind when Jin has to look things up in his electronic dictionary because the words Ueda wants are so obscure that Jin's never heard of them in Japanese, never mind English. By the time they reach the end of the vocabulary list, Jin's convinced Ueda's writing a song about the symptoms of an incurable disease, as experienced by a mythical creature in an improbable location.
"This might actually sound better in Japanese," he says.
"I think English would convey my feelings better." Ueda doesn't explain what feelings these happen to be, and Jin's not sure he wants to know. "Or maybe French. How do you feel about spending half a year in Paris?"
Jin chokes on his juice. "Try Kame," he suggests. "Especially if you offer to pay his shopping bills."
"I don't think his shopping habits are so expensive..." Ueda says vaguely. Jin doesn't even want to contemplate how large a bill would have to be for Ueda to consider it excessive.
They mess around for a while on Jin's guitar, working how best to piece the song together. Jin's not even sure what genre it's supposed to be. He's not sure Ueda knows, either. Possibly a softly-strummed tribute to dissection, or maybe a maudlin dirge about how even fictional creatures can have their hearts (or other internal organs) broken by that greatest of incurable afflictions, Love. No one's ever entirely certain what Ueda writes about until he explains it, so Jin just goes with the flow and does his best with the pronunciations he's not positive about.
It's long past midnight by the time Ueda declares himself satisfied with the scribbled chords and careful katakana in his notebook. He doesn't say what his plans are. Ueda has a file of songs carefully hoarded away, sometimes played for friends, occasionally brought out for performances. Jin knows because he has one too.
"Stay," Jin suggests when Ueda says he'll get a taxi home. The trains stopped running hours ago and Jin's car's in the shop. Though Ueda says he wouldn't trust Jin to drive him anyway, the way he's yawning. "I'm asleep already - I'll never notice you're here."
"You will when I beat you to the bathroom in the morning," Ueda says, but he doesn't argue. Jin hands him a stack of bedding and leaves him to crash on the couch.
By the time Jin wakes up, Ueda's nowhere in sight. There's a note accusing Jin of sleeping like the dead, which is true unless it's one of Kame's phone calls, which even the dead wouldn't dare to ignore. Jin figures Ueda's already left for a run without him. For a moment, he entertains the thought of trying to catch up. One look at his watch persuades him otherwise.
Later that morning, when they're in the studio and filming Cartoon KAT-TUN episodes, Jin says to Ueda, "You were gone when I woke up." Four interested heads, none of them belonging to Ueda, turn to face him. There's been a lack of good gossip since Kame's last Shinjuku escapade.
"I tried everything short of pouring water over you," Ueda replies without looking, concentrating only on tying his bootlaces. "I didn't think you'd appreciate me soaking your sheets. Letting you sleep in was the least I could do after keeping you up half the night."
Kame and Koki hide behind Junno so they can giggle like a pair of schoolgirls. Nakamaru looks like he wants to do the same but is worried that Jin will mock him for it.
It takes a second for the connotations to sink in and Jin rushes to prevent a misunderstanding. "We were working on a song," he says. "It was work."
"A love song?" Kame's question is innocent but his smirk isn't.
Koki follows his lead. "Maybe another duet for the two of you?"
"With more random European languages?" Junno asks.
Ueda finally looks up, bootlaces no longer trailing. "It's all in English," he says proudly. "Akanishi helped."
KT-TN give each other wary looks, no doubt remembering such gems as 'Lovejuice' and 'Dictator', and silently agree to drop the subject.
-----
When KAT-TUN find themselves with three whole days off, Ueda goes to Okinawa, taking Nakamaru with him. They take a night flight after work and Ueda sends Jin a mail when he arrives, reminding him that he may be on holiday but he's got no excuse to skive. Woe betide Jin if he doesn't drag himself out for a run.
It's lonely, running through the park in the early morning gloom without Ueda's presence beside him. Jin misses the random commentary and odd pieces of advice. Sometimes Ueda tells him to do things that are completely nonsensical, then smiles gleefully at his confusion. Sometimes Jin retorts but mostly he laughs. Ueda knows he's neither a child nor an idiot, and as long as that knowledge is certain, Jin's content to let himself play the fool.
The second morning, it's even harder for Jin to get up and go. He dawdles, getting changed so slowly he hopes a distraction will come along before he finishes. It does, in the form of a tracksuited Kame at his front door.
"Ueda sent me a mail last night," Kame explains. "He said you'd probably need some motivation today. Think you can keep up?"
Jin grabs a sweatshirt and his keys and struts past Kame. They'll take the stairs, of course. "Think you can keep up?"
It's not a race, though they do speed up when a starry-eyed fangirl spots Kame and chases them halfway round the park. Jin can't stop laughing when they finally lose her. Tying his hair back seems to help him stay incognito, but Kame's hair's too short to tie up right now and every KAT-TUN fangirl in Japan knows what he looks like in a tracksuit.
"It's not funny!" Kame protests, but he's laughing too. Two grown men shouldn't have to resort to ducking behind bushes to evade teenage girls.
"This never happens when I'm out with Ueda," Jin says. "They don't dare approach him. You're too friendly."
"Somebody has to be." Kame's laughter winds down so they start back, keeping a close eye out for fans. "Look on the bright side: at least now you can outrun them."
Kame goes with him again the next morning and breakfasts with him afterwards. It's obvious Kame's ready to return to work - he throws himself into cooking with such enthusiasm that he ends up making three times as much food as they need. Jin charitably offers to eat the excess, but Kame says if he does, he'll be spending the rest of the day in the gym.
"Without Ueda," Kame adds, smirking.
Jin shrugs. "So? I'm a big boy, I can work out by myself."
"You're also a lazy peacock whose interest in getting in shape lasts only as long as there's someone around to notice."
"And you're a workaholic neat-freak," Jin retorts. Kame steals his plate, only returning it when Jin adds, "Who makes the best scrambled eggs in the world."
"Anyway," Jin says when they've finished eating and Kame makes him help clear up, "it's not true that I only do things when there's someone around to watch."
"I guess not...lots of people watch you on television and you don't do anything then, so..."
Jin flicks a teatowel at Kame. Kame snatches up its twin and retaliates. The dishes can wait.
"Take it back," Jin says. "Take it back or I'm pouring oil all over your pristine kitchen floor."
Kame rolls his eyes. "The floor you're currently standing on and would have to cross in order to leave my apartment? Go right ahead."
It occurs to Jin that perhaps he should've given that one more thought. Kame swats him with the teatowel while he contemplates a fresh strategy and the fight begins anew.
Eventually, the kitchen is clear and a draw has been declared, if only because neither of them will admit a loss. "Thanks for breakfast," Jin says.
Kame nods. "No problem." He walks Jin to the door to see him out. "I didn't mean it, by the way."
"I know."
"But don't try to tell me you're doing all this just so Ryo will stop saying you're fat."
"Like I care what that skinny little monkey thinks. I feel good about myself, Kame."
"Yeah, but not because you love exercise," Kame says knowingly. "You like the company!"
Kame shuts up when Jin starts alluding to Koki's gigantic - and extremely obvious - crush on him. It's a good thing pink is one of Kame's best colours.
There's still a pang of jealousy when Jin thinks about them - about Kame and anyone, really - and he supposes that will never go away. They've been friends for too long, in one form or another, and Jin has always been possessive. But Kame could do a lot worse, and Jin thinks that maybe it's better this way, to keep Kame like this rather than risk losing him by straining the boundaries of their friendship. They've weathered too many storms already.
No more broken hearts. That's right. Jin's not going to give himself away again. Not going to get his emotions involved. Everything is going to be simple, uncomplicated, straightforward. Just the way he likes it, with no hidden pitfalls and coded messages that spell out disaster.
"It's not like that," Jin says quietly. "I don't like being alone."
"You don't have to be." Kame's eyes are the warm brown of melted chocolate, familiar and comforting. "You have plenty of people who want to be with you - just reach out to them."
"And if I reach out and get my hand slapped away?"
"Then stop reaching for places that will get you arrested for public indecency." Jin mock-scowls and Kame drops the teasing tone. "Not everyone's going to turn you down or screw you over, Jin. Just because you haven't found what you're looking for yet doesn't mean you're never going to - not unless you shut yourself off completely, and you're too young to do that."
"Oi!" Jin resents hearing this from a guy who, no matter how mature he may act sometimes, is actually younger than him. "Just because you have a thing for women twice your age doesn't mean you get to call me 'young'!"
Kame laughs at his indignation. "Then don't act like you're some jaded, world-weary superstar who's done it all already. Stop waiting around because it's safer, hoping nothing bad will happen to you if you never make a move."
Jin hopes his expression conveys how utterly unimpressed he is with Kame's attempts to give him advice on how to handle his love life. He's been there - been on the next stool at the bar when Kame's relationships crash and burn. Kame falls hard but he always - always - picks himself up and carries on. He's had serious affairs and casual pick-ups and everything in between, and still he remains optimistic.
"Fine," Kame says at last when Jin lets the silence hang. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's none of my business. If you're satisfied like this, then I'm happy for you. But if you're not, and the only reason is because you're scared you'll be rejected, or you think there's no chance, then you really are 'Bakanishi'."
"Worry about yourself for a change," Jin advises. "Valentine's Day is coming up and I saw Koki searching for chocolate heart recipes on the Internet."
-----
All joking aside, Jin appreciates what Kame's trying to tell him. He's just not sure he wants to listen. Above all else, Jin likes to be comfortable, and the friendship he has with Ueda? That's comfortable. That's easy and unthreatening and safe. There are no fights (except when their towels get mixed up), no jealous rages (except when Ueda shows off by breaking bricks with his hands and Jin gets annoyed that he can't), no broken hearts when one of them is too busy to make it (just a little irritation and a fast-fading hint of loneliness). Jin's used to waiting, to making sure. Less risk that way.
It's business as usual the next morning. Ueda and Nakamaru have returned from their trip and KAT-TUN have a meeting with their choreographer at ten. A completely pointless meeting, given that the group have abandoned all attempts at dancing in sync in favour of an individual, stylistic (read: messy) approach, but it's still work.
Ueda turns up at Jin's door slightly earlier than usual, holding a folded bag which he insists on putting in the fridge. "It's a present," he says. "Kame mailed me to say you didn't slack off, so I thought you deserved a treat."
Jin hopes it's not one of Ueda's 'high on nutrition, low on taste' snacks, but doesn't pry. He'll see for himself later. "Have a good trip?"
"It was a nice break. Too cold to go in the sea, but we took some photos on the beach. I'll have to go back when the weather's warmer."
"When you do..." Jin takes a deep breath and lets it out in a rush. Maybe Kame's right. He has to start somewhere. "When you do, I'd like to go with."
Ueda gives him that blinding, beautiful smile, the one that says he should be doing toothpaste commercials rather than increasingly weird gum ones. "I'd like that. Next time, okay?"
Jin smiles back. "Okay." It's not much, but it's a step in the right direction.
Ueda sets a tough pace for their morning run; Jin falters, sometimes, but he always catches up again. Today, his footsteps are lighter than air.