[JE] Splinters
Title: Splinters
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Rating: PG
Genre: Incurable sap
Word count: 889
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit
Summary: He doesn't give make-up tips to baseball players and he doesn't talk to his niece about what Jin's like in bed.
A/N: For the
hc_bingo square 'loss of identity'.
Crossposted at AO3
Splinters
First he's Kazuya, the baby of the house, until Yuya comes along and steals that honour. He's still tiny, a scrawny, spiky-haired baseball boy who couldn't care less about dancing and glitter and painting his nails. He doesn't know Jin yet.
Then he's Kame, beloved of many, the Junior about whom a billion turtle jokes are made. He sings (but not as well as Jin), he dances (but KAT-TUN are not very good at keeping in sync), and he wishes on shooting stars that they'll make it. Jin makes those wishes with him, and tells him, when no one can hear, that he has a sweet singing voice and should have more confidence in himself.
They hold hands in New York and share messy first kisses when their hairstyles are almost identical; Kame catches a glimpse of them in the hotel room mirror and can't tell which is which till he runs a finger lightly over his own collarbone and Jin's the one who shrieks and squirms away. Jin's older - taller too - but Kame's catching up fast. They cling together when times are tough, and though they fight like little kids, they're growing up every day.
Kame gives way to Shuuji, learning to layer his personalities to cater to everyone else's realities. Shuuji's all skin and bone, so sharp no one can get close, but he lets Akira cling to him and try to feed him in the hope that when he wakes up from this life, he won't start the next one by collapsing on the spot.
Jin resents him for it. It's supposed to be the six of them making their debut together, not his boyfriend and his best friend doing their stupid dance on TV and leaving him out. It's a difficult period for them. For the first time, he puts on another face for Jin. He does it so well Jin doesn't even try to see through it, though he knows it's there. As Shuuji keeps his pain to himself, so does Kame.
Then he's one of KAT-TUN's leading lights, Kamenashi Kazuya, who can sell a million songs and play for an audience of thousands. Shuuji's lessons have been well learnt. Kamenashi is the consummate professional who never turns down work, no matter how ridiculous. He says yes to everyone except himself.
He even says yes when Jin, stressed out and desperately unhappy, talks about going away for a while. It's bad for the group and it's bad for whatever remains of the relationship they'd once shared, but it means the world to Jin and if it's a choice between him quitting altogether and taking a break to be himself again, Kame would rather he take the break. Jin's not good at separating himself from his work - not yet - and he can't learn Shuuji's lessons. Kame can make his face show whatever he wants. Jin can't keep his emotions from the surface.
When he returns from LA, Kame tries to teach him. Jin's happier now and he does his best to be a good little idol, learning the new songs and making all the right faces in the Oxy adverts he does with Koki. Kame's happier too. He's learning to relax, to take less stress upon himself. He thinks he's mastered it now. Jin asks for the secret and Kame whispers it into his mouth.
Now Kame's all of these people and more: radio host, TV host, actor, sportscaster, athlete, singer, dancer, songwriter, photographer, surfer, uncle, son, friend, lover. Some of Kame's roles come with their own personalities attached. He doesn't give make-up tips to baseball players and he doesn't talk to his niece about what Jin's like in bed.
Jin has fewer slivers. He has a professional face now: two, even - one for Japan, one for the US. Both speak clumsily in their respective languages, but when they sing and dance they're the same. There's another face, the one his friends and family see...and finally, there's one that's just for Kame. It's the face he makes when Kame touches him just right, whether it's a hand stroking his hair or something less child-friendly. It's the face with the power to break Kame's heart into tiny pieces, but also the face that never fails to make him feel good.
It worries Kame sometimes that there's no need for him to juggle his selves because he instinctively produces the correct one for the occasion. So many people, all splinters of his soul. He's not sure he could point to one with any great certainty and declare it to be the "real" Kamenashi Kazuya. At his core, is there anything at all?
Jin thinks so. Jin holds him close when he feels like he's lost his way, reminding him that the boy he met the day of their audition is still lurking beneath the surface, no matter what's changed since then. He can dye his hair a million colours, play a youkai on the small screen and a samurai on the stage, train with his favourite baseball players till his hands are raw and he has no nails left to paint, but he'll still be the same person inside.
That's what Jin tells him. Kame finds an easier way to ground himself. All his aspects have one very important thing in common.
They all love Jin.
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Rating: PG
Genre: Incurable sap
Word count: 889
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit
Summary: He doesn't give make-up tips to baseball players and he doesn't talk to his niece about what Jin's like in bed.
A/N: For the
hc_bingo square 'loss of identity'.
Crossposted at AO3
Splinters
First he's Kazuya, the baby of the house, until Yuya comes along and steals that honour. He's still tiny, a scrawny, spiky-haired baseball boy who couldn't care less about dancing and glitter and painting his nails. He doesn't know Jin yet.
Then he's Kame, beloved of many, the Junior about whom a billion turtle jokes are made. He sings (but not as well as Jin), he dances (but KAT-TUN are not very good at keeping in sync), and he wishes on shooting stars that they'll make it. Jin makes those wishes with him, and tells him, when no one can hear, that he has a sweet singing voice and should have more confidence in himself.
They hold hands in New York and share messy first kisses when their hairstyles are almost identical; Kame catches a glimpse of them in the hotel room mirror and can't tell which is which till he runs a finger lightly over his own collarbone and Jin's the one who shrieks and squirms away. Jin's older - taller too - but Kame's catching up fast. They cling together when times are tough, and though they fight like little kids, they're growing up every day.
Kame gives way to Shuuji, learning to layer his personalities to cater to everyone else's realities. Shuuji's all skin and bone, so sharp no one can get close, but he lets Akira cling to him and try to feed him in the hope that when he wakes up from this life, he won't start the next one by collapsing on the spot.
Jin resents him for it. It's supposed to be the six of them making their debut together, not his boyfriend and his best friend doing their stupid dance on TV and leaving him out. It's a difficult period for them. For the first time, he puts on another face for Jin. He does it so well Jin doesn't even try to see through it, though he knows it's there. As Shuuji keeps his pain to himself, so does Kame.
Then he's one of KAT-TUN's leading lights, Kamenashi Kazuya, who can sell a million songs and play for an audience of thousands. Shuuji's lessons have been well learnt. Kamenashi is the consummate professional who never turns down work, no matter how ridiculous. He says yes to everyone except himself.
He even says yes when Jin, stressed out and desperately unhappy, talks about going away for a while. It's bad for the group and it's bad for whatever remains of the relationship they'd once shared, but it means the world to Jin and if it's a choice between him quitting altogether and taking a break to be himself again, Kame would rather he take the break. Jin's not good at separating himself from his work - not yet - and he can't learn Shuuji's lessons. Kame can make his face show whatever he wants. Jin can't keep his emotions from the surface.
When he returns from LA, Kame tries to teach him. Jin's happier now and he does his best to be a good little idol, learning the new songs and making all the right faces in the Oxy adverts he does with Koki. Kame's happier too. He's learning to relax, to take less stress upon himself. He thinks he's mastered it now. Jin asks for the secret and Kame whispers it into his mouth.
Now Kame's all of these people and more: radio host, TV host, actor, sportscaster, athlete, singer, dancer, songwriter, photographer, surfer, uncle, son, friend, lover. Some of Kame's roles come with their own personalities attached. He doesn't give make-up tips to baseball players and he doesn't talk to his niece about what Jin's like in bed.
Jin has fewer slivers. He has a professional face now: two, even - one for Japan, one for the US. Both speak clumsily in their respective languages, but when they sing and dance they're the same. There's another face, the one his friends and family see...and finally, there's one that's just for Kame. It's the face he makes when Kame touches him just right, whether it's a hand stroking his hair or something less child-friendly. It's the face with the power to break Kame's heart into tiny pieces, but also the face that never fails to make him feel good.
It worries Kame sometimes that there's no need for him to juggle his selves because he instinctively produces the correct one for the occasion. So many people, all splinters of his soul. He's not sure he could point to one with any great certainty and declare it to be the "real" Kamenashi Kazuya. At his core, is there anything at all?
Jin thinks so. Jin holds him close when he feels like he's lost his way, reminding him that the boy he met the day of their audition is still lurking beneath the surface, no matter what's changed since then. He can dye his hair a million colours, play a youkai on the small screen and a samurai on the stage, train with his favourite baseball players till his hands are raw and he has no nails left to paint, but he'll still be the same person inside.
That's what Jin tells him. Kame finds an easier way to ground himself. All his aspects have one very important thing in common.
They all love Jin.