[EXO] [PD3] Dress to Kill 1/2
Title: Dress to Kill 1/2
Fandom: EXO (sort of fused with Final Fantasy VII)
Series: Phoenix Down (#3)
Pairing: Lu Han/Kai
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, crossover (sort of)
Word count: 16,175
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit. (Especially not Don Corneo, lifted from FFVII because I don't know enough about kpop to substitute someone suitably sleazy.)
Warnings: Contains past references to prostitution. Also, video game logic. Some people like to be warned for crossdressing, which is of course a crucial plot point in FFVII.
Summary: Kai's attempts to locate companions from the past he doesn't remember take him back to places he'd rather forget.
A/N: Sequel to Sweet as Honey, Sharp as a Sword and No Time Like the Present, so please see these fics for explanations. Once again, stage names used here because they don't know who they are yet.
For the hc_bingo square 'mistaken identity'. Crossposted to AO3
Dress to Kill 1/2
Kai's long-since been resigned to Lu Han knowing more about his life than he does himself. What does throw him, however, is when Lu Han knows more about other people's lives, too.
"How can you be sure this guy's going to be here?" he asks as Lu Han directs him towards a boarding house on the north side of Junon. It's nearly sunset and there aren't many people on the streets, which is just as well since he is, in effect, talking to himself. Lu Han can pick up his surface thoughts, but Kai doesn't like relying on that as a mechanism for conversation any more than he can help - he'd like to at least be able to pretend the inside of his head is his own.
As long as he's wearing his gauntlets, however, he can hear Lu Han's voice loud and clear. "I've been talking to his Summon," Lu Han says. "Minseok says that's where they're staying."
"He's got a Minseok?"
"He's got Minseok," Lu Han corrects. "There's only one of each of us."
Kai's confused. The more he learns about Summons, the more questions he has. "Then how come I can walk into a materia shop and see five Kyungsoos for sale?" Not that he'd ever be able to afford them, but they're there.
"Materia orbs are our hosts in your world. There's only one of me," Lu Han sounds rather smug, "but right now, I'm talking to you here, and fighting three battles in other cities at the same time. There are even more of me dormant in materia, waiting to be summoned. But it's the same me - we are one."
Kai wants to respond with something about how Lu Han is making his head hurt, but he spots a fracas at the far end of the street, where it appears someone else is about to be a recipient of a far worse headache. A lone man being set upon by a pack of bandits isn't unusual in Junon and in this neighbourhood, local law enforcement's not likely to notice. Forgetting all about the man he's supposed to meet, Kai teleports in to help.
In the fading light, it's hard to see between the shadows of the tall, dilapidated buildings. It's not hard to see the disparity in numbers, however. The man on the floor is curled into a small ball, protecting himself from an onslaught of kicks being delivered by a pair of human men, while another rummages through his bag, discarding unwanted contents on the ground.
Kai reaches the third man first, getting in a punch to the kidneys that has him dropping both the bag and himself to the floor. Regular humans go down a lot easier than the average monster - mythril-studded gauntlets aren't kind to tender flesh and the soft, vulnerable organs beneath. His victim screams. The noise distracts the other two attackers, who whirl around to face him. For a moment, they forget the man on the floor.
Their mistake.
He rolls to the side, away from his assailants, and comes up clutching a quarterstaff. Three materia slots, Kai notices absently. One filled with green, one with red, and one empty. Magic materia and a Summon, then.
No need to summon anyone this time. Kai hauls the groaning bandit up from the floor and shoves him towards his associates. They split, and that's when the man with the staff strikes, sweeping low across the calves of the man nearest him to bring him crashing forwards, then whacking him across the head with the upper end of his weapon.
Kai has to jump back himself to keep out of the staff's way. The former victim doesn't appear to need his help anymore. He leans against the wall and watches with unabashed admiration as the man neatly finishes off the bandits with quick, deft swings of his staff.
When all three are senseless on the ground, the man begins to put his bag back together. Kai drops down to help, scrabbling around for fallen bottles and boxes. The light's too poor to make out the labels.
"Thank you," the stranger with the staff says. "It's lucky you were passing by to help."
"You're welcome," Kai says, and means it. "If you can fight like that, what were you doing on the floor?"
"Oh." The stranger looks around vaguely at the trio of insensible bandits. "I didn't notice them until they'd knocked my staff out of my hand." He doesn't seem unduly bothered by this - unthinkable for someone like Kai, who likes to be aware of his proximity to others at all times.
Kai introduces himself and offers the stranger a hand up, which he takes, and gives his name as 'Lay'. Lay's pale, bare hands seem very small in comparison with Kai's gauntlets, but Kai's glad to be wearing them when Lu Han's cheerful voice in his head tells him that Lay is the 'special unicorn' he's come here to meet. But does Lay know that, he wonders?
"This is going to sound crazy," Kai can feel himself blushing already, "but I wasn't just passing by. I was coming here to meet you. Um," he amends, "coming to your boarding house to meet you. Because my Summon told me to."
"Minseok said I was going to meet somebody tall, dark and handsome today," Lay says. "I thought he was telling me my horoscope."
Kai fervently hopes Minseok's less cryptic than Lu Han. "Taller than you, anyway."
As they walk out from between the buildings, heading for the boarding house, Kai's able to take a better look at his new acquaintance. Lay's on the wiry side but he carries himself with confidence and his quarterstaff with authority. He has a pleasant - if not terribly expressive - face, and dark reddish-brown, slightly wavy hair. Kai thinks Lay is probably older than him, more from his manner than his look, though he doesn't like to ask because if Lay is in the same position as he is, of having a past only his Summon remembers, questions about his background could be...painful.
Lay's room is, not unexpectedly, lacking in both character and clutter. "I only arrived in Junon this morning," he says. There's another bag on the chair in the corner and he moves it away so Kai can sit down, before perching on the end of the bed himself.
Kai still can't quite get over this. "You just let a complete stranger into your room. I could be anybody!"
"Yes, you could," Lay agrees. "But Minseok told me you had Lu Han, and if you were going to attack me, Lu Han would've appeared by now."
"He's quite right," Lu Han says inside Kai's head. "But if you were that kind of person, I wouldn't be with you in the first place."
That gets Kai curious about whether or not other people communicate with their Summons like this. "Do you hear Minseok in your head?" he asks Lay.
"When he starts singing and I can't get the tune out of my mind. We both like music," Lay explains, "and sometimes when he's out he'll sing for me."
That doesn't sound like the link Kai has with Lu Han, the details of which he doesn't feel inclined to share right now. It's a fair bet the two Summons are chatting somewhere he can't hear, in their world, wherever it happens to be. Maybe Lay has more of the puzzle pieces than Kai does. Maybe Minseok doesn't dangle snippets of information in front of Lay and then snatch them away.
Kai doesn't ask, much though he'd like to. Nothing good's ever come from spending time in a stranger's bedroom, and while he knows he's not here for that - and Lu Han would probably flip out if he were - he's very conscious that he knows nothing about Lay.
That also makes it difficult to make small talk. Lay doesn't try and doesn't seem too bothered by it, and Kai's not even sure he's paying attention. When Lay gets up and begins unpacking one of the bags into the dresser, Kai knows he's not paying attention. He casts about unsuccessfully for a topic of conversation, eventually latching onto the contents of the bag, which appear to be mostly Potions, Remedies and Antidotes, with the occasional other item mixed in.
"You must run into a lot of trouble," he comments. "Do you get poisoned much?"
"These aren't for me," Lay says. "I'm a healer."
"Oh!" Kai knows there's a shortage of doctors in the city. Maybe Lay's here to add to their number. "Did you come to Junon for work? There's a hospital across town that lost half its doctors in a fire, and-"
"I'm not a doctor." Lay sets down the bag and picks up his staff, holding it out for Kai to examine. "I use Restore materia on people - and healing items, when necessary. I don't have much proper medical training, though. You don't want me trying to take out your appendix."
Kai's not even sure where his appendix is, much less why he'd want it removed. "So why are you here?"
"I travel around the continent and heal people who need it." Lay's not terribly forthcoming. "You don't need healing, do you?"
"Not right at the moment..." Kai explains what he does for a living, how often he manages to acquire injuries battling monsters. He's never lost yet, though, and if it looks like things are about to turn fatal, Lu Han appears whether he's been summoned or not. Lay listens patiently; since he doesn't show any reaction, Kai's not entirely certain he's taking it in. "I still have a few scars from a couple of weeks ago that Potions couldn't heal."
"There's a limit to how much damage they can cure. I can take a look?" Lay offers. "Unless they're somewhere embarrassing."
"I got them fighting a Dark Dragon, not-" Kai cuts himself off before he can blurt out details of some of their more private interactions, Lu Han snickering inside his head all the while.
He ends up lying flat on his stomach on Lay's bed, shirt off and trousers pushed down just far enough to reveal the set of stripes where the dragon tried to claw through his lower back. It's...uncomfortable when Lay presses down on him. Not so much from the pain - the Potion did have some effect, after all - but from having this stranger, gentle though he is, touching him like this. It's different in a hospital, with doctors and nurses wandering in and out, and even private rooms are barely worthy of the name. There are only two of them here - except technically, it's four of them, counting the Summons.
"Relax," Lu Han whispers in his mind. "He knows what he's doing, even if he looks like he's like he's thinking about whether or not he packed enough socks."
Kai can't answer him without speaking aloud, which is out of the question, and he knows exactly what kind of thoughts Lu Han is picking up from the surface of his mind. It's not so much anxiety that Lay will hurt him, as that Lay hasn't signed a contract stating exactly what he's allowed to do with him and how much money he's paid for the privilege. Kai's not used to people offering to do something for him without promise of payment and that makes him nervous. His crew of dockhands, bouncers and the like keep a communal stash of cash to pay their hospital bills and it's been a long time since Kai's had to pay for anything with his body. What if Lay heals his scars and decides he wants something in return?
Lay's fingers explore the curve of Kai's hip, where the dragon's claws had struck first, and Kai flinches. "These are deep," Lay says. "You'd need a high-level Restore spell to heal them fully."
"C-can you do that?"
Kai would dearly love to roll himself off the bed, or at least prop himself up so he can look back over his shoulder and see what's going on. Lay's fingers haven't moved.
"Do you need me to come out?" Lu Han asks, concerned. "I will if you want me to. Your thoughts are all jumbled up."
Kai worries at his lower lip for a moment. This is ridiculous. Lay's just trying to help him.
"I can do that." Lay lets go of Kai and picks up his staff; Kai mutters to Lu Han that it's okay, he can stay where he is. "Did you say something?" Lay asks.
"Sorry." Kai doesn't explain.
At least it's not as excruciating as that time a customer fixed the scars on his thighs back in Midgar. There's a gentle warmth on his back, scar tissue unknotting into muscle and fresh new skin as the temperature increases. The edges of his skin twist and stretch, sliding against each other. He's burning...and then there's nothing.
"You're all done." Lay sets down the staff and waits for Kai to collect himself. "Does that feel better?"
"Much," Kai admits. He's used to ignoring pain - what dancer isn't? - but it's going to be nice not to wince every time he stretches. "Thanks." He sits up easily, relishing the smooth, unhindered glide of his body as he moves, and slips his shirt back over his shoulders.
"Where were you fighting a Dark Dragon? I didn't think they came this far south."
"On the roof of City Hall." Kai rubs his shoulder ruefully. His back wasn't the only piece of him to sustain damage that day. "And your guess is as good as mine. We've been getting a lot more monsters coming in from the grasslands lately, so maybe some of them are travelling a little further from home."
"Then it looks like I picked a good time to come." Lay smiles - not terribly widely, but a smile is a smile and Kai finds it reassuring. There's been no mention of payment. "They didn't need me in Kalm anymore."
"They've already got a healer up there." Kai's lived in Kalm too, albeit ever so briefly. It didn't take him long to learn who was who in the village, and even less time to figure out he didn't belong there.
"Not anymore."
"Huh? You didn't...no, of course you didn't." For once, Kai's brain kicks in with enough time to prevent him asking Lay if he killed his predecessor. That would just be rude.
"She left, along with most of the other villagers," Lay says. "I don't think they wanted to stay in a place with no sun."
"The weather wasn't that good when I stayed there either, but-"
"No sun and no sky," Lay clarifies. "It's all red up there now."
Kai can't suppress a shudder. It wasn't even that many months ago he stayed in Kalm, and there were only traces of red sometimes, like there were in Midgar when he could look out beyond the plate, and there are in Junon now. Not the entire sky. Maybe one day he'll stand in the streets of Junon and look towards the heavens, and there won't be anything else left to see. It's a frightening thought.
"We see the red down here sometimes," he says. "Some days the veil's thicker than others. But it's never covered everything."
"Not yet," Lay says seriously. "It might. There were more monsters sneaking into the village when the skies started to get worse, and that's when people began to leave. The few who stayed told me I should go help someone else, so now I'm here."
"And it looks like the same thing's happening in Junon. You ever think you might be cursed?"
Lay laughs at Kai's bluntness, unoffended. "Then maybe you should run further south. But before you go, you can tell me where to go for a meal around here. I don't think I've eaten today."
He's not emaciated but he's hardly carrying around excess weight, either, and Kai's stomach's telling him he could do with some dinner himself. Food brings people together, right?
"How do you feel about barbecue?"
-----
The meal isn't as awkward as it could be, even if Lay accidentally leaves his staff in the restaurant and has to go back for it, and when he settles his half of the bill Kai asks, without thinking, if he pays his way by charging for healing. As it turns out, Lay's Restore materia is of a sufficiently high level that he can use it to create healing items, and those are what he sells. He still has to buy the bottles to put them in, however, so he doesn't make much of a profit, he says.
Lay's had a long, tiring day and Kai's always ready to sleep, so they go their separate ways after dinner, Lu Han insisting (via Kai) that they meet again tomorrow. Kai can only apologise for his pushy Summon; Lay shakes his hand and says some of them are like that.
When Kai makes it back to his own room, Lu Han materialises, dressed in a loose shirt and shorts that he can cause to vanish in an instant if required. Sometimes he spends the night. Not all of it, because his time is limited, but enough that Kai can fall asleep listening to the soft, rhythmic breaths beside him. He's always alone in the bed when he wakes.
"What did you think of the unicorn?" Lu Han asks.
"He seems okay." Lu Han looks like he's dying to hear more, so Kai grins slyly and teases him by adding, "He's very handsome, don't you think? And his hands were so gentle-"
That's as far as he gets before Lu Han tackles him onto the bed and reminds him exactly why he's wearing a collar bearing Lu Han's deer emblem.
"I told you that you didn't have to worry about me with someone else," Kai says afterwards, when they're snuggled under the blankets, limbs loose and heavy around each other. "Lay seems like an okay guy, and I think he's doing a good thing. What more do you want me to say?"
"I like him too." Lu Han places a hand on Kai's lower back, where the Dark Dragon's scars no longer mar the skin. "He helped you when I couldn't."
"That's not why you wanted me to meet him, is it?"
"One reason, but there are others that are more important. You and the unicorn are going to take a little trip together."
"His name's not Lay, is it? That's why you keep calling him a unicorn."
"He knows it's not his name," Lu Han says. "But he doesn't know who or what he is, any more than the man you're going to meet does."
Lu Han's hand is soothing on Kai's back, massaging slow circles into his skin; Kai can't bring himself to be agitated by Lu Han's cryptic hints. Not tonight. He's got a shift at the docks tomorrow morning and the physical labour always helps him to think more clearly. Not that thinking ever gets him anywhere with Lu Han, who could never be accused of giving away answers.
"Were you talking to Minseok while I was with Lay?" he asks.
"Yes, but not here."
"In your world?"
"That's right."
Kai shifts in the bed so he's lying on his back, his head cushioned by Lu Han's chest; Lu Han's arms come up to wrap around him and they both stargaze through the gap in the curtains. Maybe Lu Han's world is out there somewhere, Kai thinks. Up amongst the stars.
"Tell me about it?"
"About my world?" Lu Han asks, laughing through his words. "There's not much to tell. It's just like yours, only not here. They seem alike to me."
"Just like here?" Kai can't keep the disappointment from his voice. Wherever Lu Han's from, it should be better than this. How could someone like Lu Han come from a place so...broken? So free from hope?
"Just like here." Lu Han squeezes him gently. "No better, no worse. I live with a group of friends - including Minseok - and we trade notes on you guys over here."
"Hey!"
"Kidding. There are some things we don't talk about, and you are very much part of my private life. I'm keeping you for myself."
Kai's flushed with warmth, all the way down past the collar that illustrates the length to which his Summon will go to mark his territory. Being wanted feels good. Being wanted without anything being demanded in return feels better. And being wanted by someone he wants back feels best of all. "I'm keeping you too," he says firmly. Then, with more hesitation, "Do you...is it like...with your other masters, do you..."
"Not lately. Sometimes I like my masters and sometimes I don't, but when I don't..."
It doesn't take a genius to understand the inference. Lu Han's already ditched one unwanted master so that one of his host materia could cross Kai's path. It would be foolish to think he hasn't done so on other occasions. Lu Han's manipulative enough to arrange matters to suit himself; even so, it must be hard on him, always being summoned to fight battles for other people, without any form of reward and probably precious little in the way of gratitude.
"If you ever stop...um...if you change your mind about me..."
"I won't." Lu Han is very definite about this. "You're one of the people I'm looking for. We're meant to be together."
"Are Lay and Minseok meant to be together? Like this?"
Lu Han shrugs; the vibrations transition to Kai through their bare skin. "Not like this; I don't think either of them are interested. But that's none of our business. I told you you're safe with me and I meant it; I'm not going to leave and I'm not going to make you leave, either. I hope?"
There's a catch in Lu Han's voice that has Kai twisting around to hug him close. All Kai would have to do would be remove the Summon materia from his gauntlets and walk away, and Lu Han would be his no more. "How do you live with that? Your life is..."
"It's my life," Lu Han says simply. "I never said it was perfect."
It certainly doesn't sound perfect when he describes it, but Kai thinks it's more real that way. It's increasingly hard to picture Lu Han as simply vanishing in and out of existence, a magical stranger he has at his beck and call, when Lu Han starts telling him stories about the last football match he played in, and laughing when he describes how Zitao decided to block the goal by scaling the posts and lying between them in mid-air. Lu Han's housemates appear to be an eccentric bunch. Kai's not sure how many there are, but he hears familiar names, even if he's never met their owners.
It's the most Lu Han's ever talked about his own life, so Kai risks probing further. He's terribly curious about one thing in particular. "You don't eat or drink anything when you're with me. Because you can't, or you just don't like my taste in food?"
"I have better things to do when I'm with you," Lu Han points out. "But I guess I could always eat food off your body..."
"So you do eat?" Kai's not going to get distracted by Lu Han cooking up scenarios, no matter how delicious the prospect might be.
"I eat at home - Kyungsoo does most of the cooking - and if we ate whenever we were summoned, we'd all be enormous. What I need to sustain me here is being with you. The longer I'm with a master, the stronger I become. That doesn't require food." Lu Han yawns, punching Kai lightly in the arm when he giggles. "It does require sleep, though. I think I talked too much."
"I wish you'd talk more."
"Tomorrow."
Lu Han disappears in an instant, leaving Kai to flop down onto the mattress alone, muttering about how some warning would be nice.
-----
By the time Kai meets Lay for a late lunch, he's got a list of questions as long as his arm and a faint hope that maybe Lu Han will actually answer some of them, provided they don't relate to Kai's mysterious past. The lunch isn't meant to be late; however, Lay does have a valid excuse for getting lost, having been in Junon for barely a day. He seems happy, even if he does have inexplicable rips in his shirt and dust on the empty bag slung over his shoulder.
"Did you run into trouble?" Kai asks, concerned that his new friend has been robbed en route to lunch.
"Only after I'd sold everything." Lay sets his empty bag down under the table. "The people of Junon must get hurt a lot; I was cleaned out in ten minutes."
"Big city." Kai shrugs. "Lots of customers."
"And lots of monsters. I got a little scratched up by a Kalm Fang on my way over here and had to point it in the right direction to go home again."
Kalm's in the far north of the eastern continent, and the wolves known as 'Kalm Fangs' don't usually leave the area. Not as deadly as a Dark Dragon, but equally displaced. Dangerous creatures are making their way down from the North and Kai shudders to think why.
"You'll have to follow soon." Lu Han's sudden appearance in the last empty seat startles Kai into spilling his water; in contrast, Lay doesn't even blink. "But not quite that far north."
Their waiter doesn't seem surprised either, calmly handing Lu Han a menu as he passes by the table. Lu Han wastes no time in examining their bubble tea selection and informing Kai that as he left his wallet in his armour, Kai will have to pay.
"You had to pick now to start taking tea with me, didn't you?" Kai grumbles, but he's secretly happy anyway. "I suppose I can treat you."
"You're such a good master," Lu Han simpers, grinning across the table at him. "Just for that, I'll even tell you where you need to go."
"Go?" Lay says. "But I only arrived yesterday."
"I hope you're not too attached to Junon," Lu Han says. "Your skills are needed elsewhere. Sorry."
He doesn't sound sorry at all; Kai apologises again for his Summon's whimsy. "He's always like this, I'm sorry. I'm not even sure what we're supposed to be doing."
Lu Han takes a sip of his tea. "You don't know who you really are, either of you. You're not the only ones. There are others you have to find before you can unlock the past, and I can direct you to the first."
"I know why I don't know who I am," Lay says. "And I think I'm okay with it."
"Not for the reason you think." Lu Han's back in mysterious mode. "You don't remember, but I do. Minseok does. So does Baekhyun. He's with the guy you're going to meet, that's how I'll be able to help you find him."
"Find who?" Kai asks.
Lu Han's silent for a moment, then says, "He doesn't know. You'll find him in Midgar."
"Midgar?" Kai had been hoping never to return to his home city. Too many people there know him for someone he isn't.
"He sells his sword in the slums," Lu Han says. "Midgar's changed since you left. More monsters appearing in the city, worse than Junon. The people who can afford it move up to the plate, but everyone else..."
"Yeah." Kai knows what it's like living under Midgar's plate, underneath all the rich people who don't give a damn about the slums down below. If they could afford better, they wouldn't be down there. "Which sector?"
"He moves around, Baekhyun says. I'll be able to tell you more when you reach Midgar."
Kai heaves a sigh of resignation. He's starting to rebuild his life here in Junon, to settle in, and he has a feeling that if he leaves now, he'll lose everything he's worked for. Is it worth giving up the person he's becoming to find the person he once was?
On the other hand, things are changing here, too. What if Junon becomes like Kalm? What if there's nowhere left to go?
There's nothing else for it. "You don't have to come with me," he says to Lay.
"Yes, he does," Lu Han corrects. "We all need to stick together. Besides, you pick up too many injuries to go travelling without a healer, and he's too absent-minded to go without someone to watch his back."
Travelling with Lay means Kai can't teleport back to Midgar, but overall he thinks he'd prefer having the company, if Lay's amenable to it.
"I go where I'm needed," Lay says, smiling at them both. "Wherever that happens to be."
And so it is that the next morning sees them setting out on chocobos, the excitable yellow birds laden down with travel bags. Kai still doesn't have much but he's got more than he had when he left Midgar, and it's with some regret that he gives up his hotel room. The proprietor tells him he's welcome back when he returns; Kai thanks him kindly, though he's certain he won't be returning. Not like this. Meeting Lu Han has set something in motion that meeting Lay - and Minseok, for all that they haven't met yet - has kept rolling. Whatever's waiting for them in Midgar, Kai has no illusions that it'll be the end of the line.
It takes them a little while to establish a comfortable pace. Lay keeps his staff attached lengthways to the saddle, meaning Kai has to keep his distance when they turn or risk being knocked down. Kai's chocobo continually startles at the squirrels who scamper across his path. They have to ride east before they can turn north-west and the journey is not a comfortable one, beset, as it is, by random monster attacks.
More often than not, their chocobos out-run their assailants. The beasts are fleet of foot and can, if properly motivated, deliver quite ferocious pecks in their own defense. Kai just wishes they weren't so inclined to mistake his handfuls of greens and nuts for missiles - feeding time can be a bit of an ordeal, and he's got the beak marks to prove it.
They don't talk much while they ride, pre-occupied - at least in Kai's case - with watching out for trouble. Lu Han remains unusually quiet too. Gathering strength, perhaps. None of the monsters they encounter are dangerous enough to warrant Lu Han appearing unsummoned, but the closer they get to Midgar, the worse Kai feels.
The sky might have something to do with it.
"It looks like a storm's coming," Kai says, looking up with dismay at the hazy red veil. It's much more widespread than when he left, crimson tendrils creeping across clear blue skies with unmistakeable menace.
"I doubt it." Lay pulls up beside him, Midgar no more than a ten minute ride ahead. "It's not as bad as Kalm, not yet, but the rain stopped falling there. The air turned really dry." He licks his lips. "It doesn't taste like that here."
Yet, Kai hears in his mind, and he's not sure if it's his thought or Lu Han's.
It's definitely Lu Han who tells them to go to Wall Market in the Sector 6 slums, and that's when Kai feels a lump of ice begin to form in the pit of his stomach. Of course the guy they're looking for would be there. The last place in the world where he wants to go.
"I can't," he says miserably. "They know me there. I don't know if your former master ever told anyone I stole you from him, but-"
"I set it up that way," Lu Han points out as he materialises before them, giving Kai's chocobo a start. "You were both doing what I wanted."
"Like anyone's going to believe that." Kai slumps in the saddle. "Can't you ask Baekhyun to tell him to come out here, or something?"
Lu Han fluffs the collar of Kai's jacket, resting his hand just a second too long to be casual. "Baekhyun can't talk to him the way I can talk to you. Don't worry. No one's going to remember you after all these months, and that banker's not going to report the theft, is he? Because then he'd have to admit what he was doing with you in the first place."
"Which was?" Lay asks, sounding mildly interested.
"Sleeping," Kai says. "Just sleeping."
Although Lay doesn't seem like he'd care about Kai's somewhat colourful past, Kai's reluctant to explain himself. It's not that he's ashamed, exactly. He's not proud of what he's done, but he had his reasons for doing it and now he's got what he wanted out of the situation - Lu Han. He's moving on, he's...in a relationship of some kind, though damned if he can define it and he's not even going to try. He's only known Lay for a couple of days. Maybe they knew each other in the past, like Lu Han says, but that's not relevant to the here and now when neither of them can remember it, and that doesn't make them nearly close enough for Kai to spill his life story.
"I see," Lay says.
Kai fervently hopes he doesn't. "This guy isn't...uh...where I used to work, is he?"
Lu Han shakes his head. "He's working out at the gym right now. Baekhyun says he'll probably be there for a while."
"If it's going to be problematic for you to go, I can-" Lay begins, but Kai interrupts him.
"I'll go. We'll go, I mean." Kai shifts nervously in the saddle; if they don't move soon, he's going to talk himself out of this altogether. "We should approach him together. This is going to sound crazy as it is."
Lay agrees with him. Lu Han vanishes again after reminding Kai that if they get into any trouble, he can always teleport to safety and return later. It's not like he's a stranger to Midgar, after all. He knows where to go. Kai has to explain about teleporting and how he communicates with Lu Han to Lay as they cover the remaining distance to the city; Lay takes it all in his stride. Or perhaps he's not paying attention - Kai can't be sure.
Sector 6 is as much of a dive as Kai remembers: always in shadow from the plate overhead, with thieves and worse hiding around dark corners while their brassier brethren strut under the gaudy glow of the streetlights. There's a yellowy-green tint to everything that makes even the healthiest complexion appear sallow. Perhaps the only saving grace is that the further they venture under the plate, the less he can see of the red veil that's probably terrifying the life out of all the people living above. If they ever look up. Maybe they don't. Maybe they're all too wrapped up in their own lives, the way the people in the slums are. No point looking somewhere you can't go.
Kai's always looking, though, and now he's keeping an anxious eye on everyone they pass by, hoping not to see any familiar faces. They lead their chocobos to the inn at the entrance to Wall Market and Kai wheedles Lay into taking care of their stabling. The less he has to interact with anyone, the better. He pulls the hood of his jacket down as low as it will go over his face and lurks by the side of the pharmacy until Lay returns, Kai having scared off no fewer than three prospective customers by brooding in the meantime.
"I booked us in for the night as well," Lay says. "You don't have a place here anymore, do you?"
True, in more ways than one. "I gave it up when I left," Kai says, and that's also true, though it would've come as news to his landlord.
"We're not going anywhere else before morning. I'll go take our gear upstairs."
Lay leaves Kai his staff to guard while he drops their luggage off in the inn; that only earns Kai more odd looks. There's no shortage of weapons in the slums but they tend to be carried concealed - guns slipped inside jackets; knives tucked away out of sight. Materia's an even rarer sight and both of Lay's are glowing brightly in his staff. Lu Han's hidden beneath the sleeves of Kai's jacket.
The gym's further north, though not as far as the Honey Bee Inn. Kai's been there a few times, lifting weights, making use of the machines. He's never wrestled in the ring that takes over nearly a third of the floor space, merely watched as the older men went at it while their friends cheered them on. A couple of them had been his customers, once, and he hopes none of them are there right now. The Honey Bee Inn's client base is strictly men-only, and the Men's Hall Gym...well, that's for men too, only sometimes the men don't necessarily look all that manly.
"Can you show me what he looks like?" Kai mutters under his breath to Lu Han. "This place is packed and we don't know who we're searching for."
Lay's not even looking, preoccupied with reading a flyer on the wall. "They do dance lessons on weekends!"
An image filters through to Kai's mind of a young blond man, good-looking in an angry sort of way, with eyebrows that warn not to mess with him at any cost. Kai scans the room, taking in the crowd of bodybuilders showing off with the weights and the trio using the machines in the corner. None of them are blond.
On the far side of the wrestling ring there's a guy Kai recognises - from the back, anyway, but it's hard to mistake the giant red wig, backless dress and high-heeled sandals. The gym is all about being strong and beautiful, so all the signs say, which means the cross-dressers who work out there are some of the toughest specimens of the human race Kai's ever encountered. And this particular guy...he's talking to a tall blond, less buff than most of the occupants of the gym, with a hefty scabbard strapped over the back of his black jacket.
"That's him!" Lu Han says, at such volume Kai swears he's spoken aloud rather than telepathically. "Go talk to him!"
Kai's not great at approaching strangers at the best of times, and strangers who already look annoyed and are not likely to be thrilled at being interrupted are way out of his comfort zone. "He looks busy," he mutters to Lu Han. "I'll just wait until they're done talking."
"Baekhyun says he finished his workout a while ago. He's probably leaving soon; he's already dressed. You should-"
"Kai!"
A familiar voice, but not one Kai wants to hear and it's shut Lu Han up - no mean feat. It's uncomfortably close; Kai turns around and almost crashes into Lay in an effort to put some space between himself and the former customer reaching for his arm. Lay puts out a hand to steady him; the customer slowly withdraws his hand and that's... Oh no. Kai doesn't want to be recognised. Not here. The blond man's slipping out the door and what's Kai doing? Staring dumbly at some nobody who paid him for sex a few times, months ago, nothing particularly awful yet nothing he cares to remember, either.
"I thought that was you," the ex-customer says, smile warm but suggestive, his tone hinting at deeds fondly remembered. "More clothes than the last time I saw you, of course, but I'd know that beautiful body of yours anywhere."
Kai shudders, suddenly cold even in his jacket. Lu Han's voice sounds faded inside his mind, asking him if there's something wrong, and Kai deliberately shuts him out. These aren't thoughts he wants to share with Lu Han. He can deal with this. It's not supposed to be happening but it is, and he can handle it himself. He has to.
He doesn't take the bait. The ex-customer continues, "So you've gone independent?"
"I-" Kai stops. That's not so you robbed a customer and ran away and now there's a price on your head that I intend to claim.
"Kai, do you know him?" Lay asks.
"Just a former satisfied customer," the new bane of Kai's life says. "Are you one too, or his business manager?"
"Business manager?" Lay looks back and forth between Kai and his ex-customer. "Not that I know about."
"He's not my pimp." Kai wishes he could pull his hood back down over his face to hide his rapidly-spreading blush, but as awkward as this conversation is, that wouldn't help matters. "I don't have one."
"Then I'll leave you to your business." Another suggestive smile. "You were the prettiest Bee of them all. So how does one go about getting your honey these days?"
It's a good thing Kai's in such excellent shape, because with the way his blood pressure's rising, he'd be in danger otherwise. Unfortunately, punching the guy in front of him would only get him kicked out the gym, and teleporting away wouldn't be fair to Lay - who, Kai's fairly certain, still has no clue as to what they're talking about.
"One doesn't," Kai spits out. "And one can just buzz off, because there is no more honey."
Well, there's still honey, but it's only for Lu Han now and Kai's not best pleased with him at the moment.
The ex-customer snorts derisively and stalks off, leaving Kai giddily mortified and desperate to get out of the gym before he either passes out or starts breaking through the walls. They can find the blond guy another time.
"You look like you're ready to kill someone," Lay says quietly. "Do you want to spar for a bit?"
Kai's still seeing red, embarrassed and angry both. He can't even look at Lay when he replies, "That might help, thanks."
The ring's unoccupied so Lay sets down his staff, they both shed their outer layers for a quick warm-up, and go at it for the next thirty minutes. They're both quick, they're both graceful. There's a surety to Lay's movements, a confidence Kai strives to match, both of them whirling and dodging till the sparring match resembles a dance. It's beautiful and exhausting and the whole time, Kai's totally alone in his own head, his gauntlets tucked inside his jacket in the corner of the ring. It's what he needs right now. Lu Han told him there was nothing to worry about, and while he might've been right about Kai's very brief career as a materia thief, he was still wrong in the end. Kai's been recognised once. He doesn't want it to happen again.
Kai feels marginally better by the time they hit the diner, now showered and with the travel stiffness well and truly worked out. Lay doesn't press him for an explanation but talks to him about his techniques instead, and Lu Han doesn't make a peep at all during the meal.
When they return to the inn it transpires that Lay's booked two single rooms.
"I need to make more Potions," he explains. "I don't want the light and noise to keep you up all night."
Kai would rather be alone tonight anyway. It's not that late - he could go out, take a walk around the old neighbourhood, maybe hit the bar - but it's safer inside, where no one can see him, and it's been a long day. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow they'll talk to the blond guy, and he'll easily swallow their crazy story about past lives they don't remember and become one of the gang, and everything will be harmonious.
Yeah, right. And maybe his chocobo will stop being scared of squirrels.
He's not been in bed long when Lu Han materialises, wearing light deer-print summer pyjamas and an apologetic smile. The mattress has just enough room for two if they lie close, and Kai lets him under the blankets, the way he always does. Lu Han hugs him from behind, pulling Kai tight against his chest, and Kai lets him do that, too.
"I got worried," Lu Han says. "You shut me out."
"I didn't know I could do that," Kai mutters back over his shoulder.
"Neither did I. What happened?"
Something else Lu Han doesn't know. That figures. "You act like you have all the answers," Kai says bitterly. "You won't tell me them, but you have them. You told me not to worry about anyone remembering me and I believed you. I believed you...and you were wrong."
"I can't see the future." Lu Han runs his hands over Kai's crossed arms, gently stroking out the tension. "I can only tell you what I think, and sometimes I'm wrong. I told you: we're all people, some of us just operate differently. People are fallible."
"But you're..." It sickens Kai to realise he doesn't know, that he's never truly known. "What are you?"
"A person. A Summon. Myself. There are things I know and can't tell you yet. There are lots of things I don't know and you don't know either, so we have to find out together." Lu Han's hands still, warm against Kai's skin. "I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you."
Kai doesn't expect perfection from humans. He's seen too many of them for that. Lu Han's the first person he's met who's shown him something more, something he can believe in, and he's not without flaws. Kai's seen him show fear - of heights, and that Kai will leave him - and he's often frustrating to talk to. He's not perfect, and Kai's been conveniently ignoring that, pinning his hopes on Lu Han being right, always. That's not fair to Lu Han.
"It's...good enough, I guess." Some of Kai's annoyance begins to cool and fade as rational thought takes over, reminding him that accidents happen, people make mistakes, and sometimes there's just nothing anyone can do. "Sorry. I trust you. I-"
Lu Han cuts him off. "I want you to trust me. But trust yourself too. I'm fuzzy on the details but whatever it was, you dealt with it okay. It's over now. In the morning, go to Sector 7. There's a bar in the slums where you can meet him. Things will be different then."
Sector 7. This is like taking a journey back in time. Maybe he'll get to meet the people who knew him growing up, too. Kai's not sure if that's better or worse than running into his former customers. His family aren't there to see him anymore and that's the only saving grace.
"A bar in the morning?"
"It's how he gets work," Lu Han says. "See, this is information I got from Baekhyun. Don't underestimate the Summon network."
Kai groans. "That doesn't help."
"I'll- I'll tell you if I'm speculating, okay? How about that? I'm not trying to mislead you."
Lu Han sounds as unhappy as Kai feels. The past week's been crazy, with Lay's arrival in Junon and the sudden rush to Midgar. Where to next? And do any of them have any say in it?
"Just drop it." Kai shakes his head. "It's stupid and it's pointless and I don't feel like talking anymore."
"If you don't want to talk, I can go with that," Lu Han says, and the hand slipping under the front of Kai's shirt tells him exactly what Lu Han has in mind.
This is easy too, like letting Lu Han slip beneath the blankets. This is familiar, sword-calloused hands on Kai's chest, Lu Han pressing against him through a layer of fabric, breath hot on the back of Kai's neck. There's nothing different about the butterfly kisses Lu Han sprinkles everywhere he can reach. Kai's still tired, still grumpy enough that it takes him a while to unwind. Tension everywhere; resentment and regret rolled into one. Things are changing and Lu Han seems to think this will make it better.
Kai's not so sure. He lets Lu Han nudge him onto his back and pull himself over for a kiss in which Kai's a less than enthusiastic participant. It doesn't seem to matter. This usually works. Normally, this makes Kai feel special, feel loved. Normally, he'd be touching Lu Han right back, carding fingers through messy blond hair, licking lips and tracing circles around laughing eyes. When he's with Lu Han, he doesn't feel like someone else's property, to be paid for by the hour.
But tonight...
That customer thought he'd gone independent, become one of the streetwalkers lurking in the corners of Wall Market, sinking his hooks into anyone with enough money to pay his price. One way or another, Kai's been selling himself all his life. Meeting Lu Han has finally made him his own man.
Except that it sure doesn't feel like it right now, not when Lu Han's nuzzling softly at his neck, swiping his tongue along the skin around the collar - his collar, with Lu Han's mark - and Kai's never felt less up for it than he does at this moment.
He can do this. Hold himself stiff and still and let Lu Han take what he wants, what he thinks will make things right between them. Nothing he hasn't done before, though that was another life, with other people - people he didn't care about, who didn't care about him in return. Business transactions, nothing more. They can do this, and then they'll sleep, and Lu Han will disappear during the night the way he always does. Kai will wake up alone and nothing will be weird in the morning. He'll make sure of it.
"Where are you?" Lu Han whispers, ticklish against Kai's too-warm cheek.
"I'm here. Where else am I going to be?"
"You're not, though." Lu Han draws back enough that his words are no longer muffled by skin. "Your thoughts are all jumbled up again and I can't see through them."
"Nothing to see." Kai hopes that's true and Lu Han doesn't decide to push, because the thoughts he's having...are not ones he'd like to share. He doesn't want to hurt Lu Han any more than Lu Han wants to hurt him, but emotions and logic aren't a terrific combination, not when emotions are winning out.
"Hmm." Lu Han doesn't sound convinced. There's hesitation when he curls his fingers around the hem of Kai's shirt; when he doesn't draw it up, Kai wriggles down to help matters and Lu Han lets go. "This isn't working, is it?"
"It's fine."
"You're about as eager as a pig walking into a slaughterhouse."
That, at least, raises a laugh from Kai. "A pig doesn't want to be killed. You can't kill me."
"I can do a lot worse than kill you," Lu Han says grimly. "And leave you alive afterwards, that's worst of all."
The temperature in the warm, cosy bed drops by an uncomfortable degree, like someone's just used Ice magic on the blankets. That side of Lu Han's for the monsters who fall beneath his blade, not for the master who wants very much for things to be settled, for things to be right.
"You won't."
"At least trust me enough to tell me the truth? I'm not going to storm into your mind to try to find it."
"I..." Kai's not sure how to explain, much less how to do so without expiring from embarrassment. Lu Han's not likely to let the subject drop, though. "I don't know how much you got of what happened in the gym."
"Not much. When you started blocking me, I could either come out or leave you alone. I figured you could handle the situation by yourself or you'd have called me, so I didn't push it."
"Well, I met someone. A former customer. He," Kai takes a deep breath, lets it out unsteadily, "recognised me from the Honey Bee Inn. He thought I was still in the same line of work, and that Lay was either my customer or my pimp. Like that's all I've ever been!"
"Easy," Lu Han soothes, hand reaching for Kai's; that's when Kai realises he's shaking, muscles clenched tight enough to cause a fine trembling all over his body. This kind of tension, he works out by dancing, or in fights - it's much harder to let Lu Han try to coax it from him. "You know that's not true."
"Do I?" Kai's trying hard to keep his voice down; his room has neighbours on both sides and he'd rather not give them an earful of things that might come back to haunt him over breakfast. "You tell me I was someone before and I don't know anything about that. The stuff I do remember, everything since I was a kid...I've never been anyone. Not really."
"Everyone's someone," Lu Han points out. "But you find out who you are as you go."
"Did you?"
"As I grew up, yeah. My dreams told me I was supposed to do this, to come here and meet you, and that's what I'm doing now. Don't you have dreams?"
"I used to think I did."
"You will." Lu Han gives Kai's hand a comforting squeeze. "And we'll both be in them."
Maybe that's meant to be a come-on, but Kai doesn't think so. He exhales noisily, willing the expelled air to carry away the tension in his body. This is who he is now. Not one of the Bees, sleeping with strange men for money and the chance to get his hands on a Summon. Not a street kid from the slums, trading the only currency he had for toe shoes and dance lessons. Not the little boy watching his parents struggling to make ends meet and vowing that he wasn't going to end up in the same boat, that he'd make it out of the slums one way or another.
He's out now, he's done that much. Sure, he's back temporarily, but he's not staying. There's nothing keeping him here.
Nothing except Lu Han's fingers tangled in his.
"When I have them, will they come true?" he asks, hesitant because he's not entirely sure he wants to know.
"Mine did." Lu Han presses a kiss to Kai's temple. "If you want them to come true, you have to work at them."
"Is that another guess?"
"That one's the truth. You'll find out eventually."
"You and your secrets," Kai grumbles. "Maybe I'll have to ask Lay to call Minseok out and see if he likes to gossip more."
"If it's gossip you want, try Kyungsoo," Lu Han says. "Just don't tell him he's cute, or he won't talk to you for a week."
Kai giggles. "How about you? If I tell you you're cute, will you keep quiet for a week?"
"Only in your dreams."
No one's going to be having any dreams whatsoever if they don't sleep. Lu Han's still there, warm and solid and real, unlike the ghosts of Kai's past, and Kai can fall asleep listening to the rhythm of his breath. Sleep's about all he's good for tonight.
"Should I go?" Lu Han asks.
"Stay?"
Lu Han's still hard against Kai's thigh, a fact they're both politely ignoring, while Kai's as unmoved as he has been all night. There's nothing like being reminded he's nobody to extinguish any sparks of arousal that might otherwise have ignited. If Lu Han stays...
"If you like," Lu Han says, with a sweet smile Kai can't quite see but hears only too clearly. "I think this bed might be more comfortable if I moved a little, though."
They end up spooned on their sides, Lu Han's back pressed to Kai's front, Kai clinging as tight as his childhood self to his favourite teddy bear. If Lu Han's uncomfortable, he doesn't mention it.
As always, he's gone by morning.
Part 2
Fandom: EXO (sort of fused with Final Fantasy VII)
Series: Phoenix Down (#3)
Pairing: Lu Han/Kai
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, crossover (sort of)
Word count: 16,175
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit. (Especially not Don Corneo, lifted from FFVII because I don't know enough about kpop to substitute someone suitably sleazy.)
Warnings: Contains past references to prostitution. Also, video game logic. Some people like to be warned for crossdressing, which is of course a crucial plot point in FFVII.
Summary: Kai's attempts to locate companions from the past he doesn't remember take him back to places he'd rather forget.
A/N: Sequel to Sweet as Honey, Sharp as a Sword and No Time Like the Present, so please see these fics for explanations. Once again, stage names used here because they don't know who they are yet.
For the hc_bingo square 'mistaken identity'. Crossposted to AO3
Dress to Kill 1/2
Kai's long-since been resigned to Lu Han knowing more about his life than he does himself. What does throw him, however, is when Lu Han knows more about other people's lives, too.
"How can you be sure this guy's going to be here?" he asks as Lu Han directs him towards a boarding house on the north side of Junon. It's nearly sunset and there aren't many people on the streets, which is just as well since he is, in effect, talking to himself. Lu Han can pick up his surface thoughts, but Kai doesn't like relying on that as a mechanism for conversation any more than he can help - he'd like to at least be able to pretend the inside of his head is his own.
As long as he's wearing his gauntlets, however, he can hear Lu Han's voice loud and clear. "I've been talking to his Summon," Lu Han says. "Minseok says that's where they're staying."
"He's got a Minseok?"
"He's got Minseok," Lu Han corrects. "There's only one of each of us."
Kai's confused. The more he learns about Summons, the more questions he has. "Then how come I can walk into a materia shop and see five Kyungsoos for sale?" Not that he'd ever be able to afford them, but they're there.
"Materia orbs are our hosts in your world. There's only one of me," Lu Han sounds rather smug, "but right now, I'm talking to you here, and fighting three battles in other cities at the same time. There are even more of me dormant in materia, waiting to be summoned. But it's the same me - we are one."
Kai wants to respond with something about how Lu Han is making his head hurt, but he spots a fracas at the far end of the street, where it appears someone else is about to be a recipient of a far worse headache. A lone man being set upon by a pack of bandits isn't unusual in Junon and in this neighbourhood, local law enforcement's not likely to notice. Forgetting all about the man he's supposed to meet, Kai teleports in to help.
In the fading light, it's hard to see between the shadows of the tall, dilapidated buildings. It's not hard to see the disparity in numbers, however. The man on the floor is curled into a small ball, protecting himself from an onslaught of kicks being delivered by a pair of human men, while another rummages through his bag, discarding unwanted contents on the ground.
Kai reaches the third man first, getting in a punch to the kidneys that has him dropping both the bag and himself to the floor. Regular humans go down a lot easier than the average monster - mythril-studded gauntlets aren't kind to tender flesh and the soft, vulnerable organs beneath. His victim screams. The noise distracts the other two attackers, who whirl around to face him. For a moment, they forget the man on the floor.
Their mistake.
He rolls to the side, away from his assailants, and comes up clutching a quarterstaff. Three materia slots, Kai notices absently. One filled with green, one with red, and one empty. Magic materia and a Summon, then.
No need to summon anyone this time. Kai hauls the groaning bandit up from the floor and shoves him towards his associates. They split, and that's when the man with the staff strikes, sweeping low across the calves of the man nearest him to bring him crashing forwards, then whacking him across the head with the upper end of his weapon.
Kai has to jump back himself to keep out of the staff's way. The former victim doesn't appear to need his help anymore. He leans against the wall and watches with unabashed admiration as the man neatly finishes off the bandits with quick, deft swings of his staff.
When all three are senseless on the ground, the man begins to put his bag back together. Kai drops down to help, scrabbling around for fallen bottles and boxes. The light's too poor to make out the labels.
"Thank you," the stranger with the staff says. "It's lucky you were passing by to help."
"You're welcome," Kai says, and means it. "If you can fight like that, what were you doing on the floor?"
"Oh." The stranger looks around vaguely at the trio of insensible bandits. "I didn't notice them until they'd knocked my staff out of my hand." He doesn't seem unduly bothered by this - unthinkable for someone like Kai, who likes to be aware of his proximity to others at all times.
Kai introduces himself and offers the stranger a hand up, which he takes, and gives his name as 'Lay'. Lay's pale, bare hands seem very small in comparison with Kai's gauntlets, but Kai's glad to be wearing them when Lu Han's cheerful voice in his head tells him that Lay is the 'special unicorn' he's come here to meet. But does Lay know that, he wonders?
"This is going to sound crazy," Kai can feel himself blushing already, "but I wasn't just passing by. I was coming here to meet you. Um," he amends, "coming to your boarding house to meet you. Because my Summon told me to."
"Minseok said I was going to meet somebody tall, dark and handsome today," Lay says. "I thought he was telling me my horoscope."
Kai fervently hopes Minseok's less cryptic than Lu Han. "Taller than you, anyway."
As they walk out from between the buildings, heading for the boarding house, Kai's able to take a better look at his new acquaintance. Lay's on the wiry side but he carries himself with confidence and his quarterstaff with authority. He has a pleasant - if not terribly expressive - face, and dark reddish-brown, slightly wavy hair. Kai thinks Lay is probably older than him, more from his manner than his look, though he doesn't like to ask because if Lay is in the same position as he is, of having a past only his Summon remembers, questions about his background could be...painful.
Lay's room is, not unexpectedly, lacking in both character and clutter. "I only arrived in Junon this morning," he says. There's another bag on the chair in the corner and he moves it away so Kai can sit down, before perching on the end of the bed himself.
Kai still can't quite get over this. "You just let a complete stranger into your room. I could be anybody!"
"Yes, you could," Lay agrees. "But Minseok told me you had Lu Han, and if you were going to attack me, Lu Han would've appeared by now."
"He's quite right," Lu Han says inside Kai's head. "But if you were that kind of person, I wouldn't be with you in the first place."
That gets Kai curious about whether or not other people communicate with their Summons like this. "Do you hear Minseok in your head?" he asks Lay.
"When he starts singing and I can't get the tune out of my mind. We both like music," Lay explains, "and sometimes when he's out he'll sing for me."
That doesn't sound like the link Kai has with Lu Han, the details of which he doesn't feel inclined to share right now. It's a fair bet the two Summons are chatting somewhere he can't hear, in their world, wherever it happens to be. Maybe Lay has more of the puzzle pieces than Kai does. Maybe Minseok doesn't dangle snippets of information in front of Lay and then snatch them away.
Kai doesn't ask, much though he'd like to. Nothing good's ever come from spending time in a stranger's bedroom, and while he knows he's not here for that - and Lu Han would probably flip out if he were - he's very conscious that he knows nothing about Lay.
That also makes it difficult to make small talk. Lay doesn't try and doesn't seem too bothered by it, and Kai's not even sure he's paying attention. When Lay gets up and begins unpacking one of the bags into the dresser, Kai knows he's not paying attention. He casts about unsuccessfully for a topic of conversation, eventually latching onto the contents of the bag, which appear to be mostly Potions, Remedies and Antidotes, with the occasional other item mixed in.
"You must run into a lot of trouble," he comments. "Do you get poisoned much?"
"These aren't for me," Lay says. "I'm a healer."
"Oh!" Kai knows there's a shortage of doctors in the city. Maybe Lay's here to add to their number. "Did you come to Junon for work? There's a hospital across town that lost half its doctors in a fire, and-"
"I'm not a doctor." Lay sets down the bag and picks up his staff, holding it out for Kai to examine. "I use Restore materia on people - and healing items, when necessary. I don't have much proper medical training, though. You don't want me trying to take out your appendix."
Kai's not even sure where his appendix is, much less why he'd want it removed. "So why are you here?"
"I travel around the continent and heal people who need it." Lay's not terribly forthcoming. "You don't need healing, do you?"
"Not right at the moment..." Kai explains what he does for a living, how often he manages to acquire injuries battling monsters. He's never lost yet, though, and if it looks like things are about to turn fatal, Lu Han appears whether he's been summoned or not. Lay listens patiently; since he doesn't show any reaction, Kai's not entirely certain he's taking it in. "I still have a few scars from a couple of weeks ago that Potions couldn't heal."
"There's a limit to how much damage they can cure. I can take a look?" Lay offers. "Unless they're somewhere embarrassing."
"I got them fighting a Dark Dragon, not-" Kai cuts himself off before he can blurt out details of some of their more private interactions, Lu Han snickering inside his head all the while.
He ends up lying flat on his stomach on Lay's bed, shirt off and trousers pushed down just far enough to reveal the set of stripes where the dragon tried to claw through his lower back. It's...uncomfortable when Lay presses down on him. Not so much from the pain - the Potion did have some effect, after all - but from having this stranger, gentle though he is, touching him like this. It's different in a hospital, with doctors and nurses wandering in and out, and even private rooms are barely worthy of the name. There are only two of them here - except technically, it's four of them, counting the Summons.
"Relax," Lu Han whispers in his mind. "He knows what he's doing, even if he looks like he's like he's thinking about whether or not he packed enough socks."
Kai can't answer him without speaking aloud, which is out of the question, and he knows exactly what kind of thoughts Lu Han is picking up from the surface of his mind. It's not so much anxiety that Lay will hurt him, as that Lay hasn't signed a contract stating exactly what he's allowed to do with him and how much money he's paid for the privilege. Kai's not used to people offering to do something for him without promise of payment and that makes him nervous. His crew of dockhands, bouncers and the like keep a communal stash of cash to pay their hospital bills and it's been a long time since Kai's had to pay for anything with his body. What if Lay heals his scars and decides he wants something in return?
Lay's fingers explore the curve of Kai's hip, where the dragon's claws had struck first, and Kai flinches. "These are deep," Lay says. "You'd need a high-level Restore spell to heal them fully."
"C-can you do that?"
Kai would dearly love to roll himself off the bed, or at least prop himself up so he can look back over his shoulder and see what's going on. Lay's fingers haven't moved.
"Do you need me to come out?" Lu Han asks, concerned. "I will if you want me to. Your thoughts are all jumbled up."
Kai worries at his lower lip for a moment. This is ridiculous. Lay's just trying to help him.
"I can do that." Lay lets go of Kai and picks up his staff; Kai mutters to Lu Han that it's okay, he can stay where he is. "Did you say something?" Lay asks.
"Sorry." Kai doesn't explain.
At least it's not as excruciating as that time a customer fixed the scars on his thighs back in Midgar. There's a gentle warmth on his back, scar tissue unknotting into muscle and fresh new skin as the temperature increases. The edges of his skin twist and stretch, sliding against each other. He's burning...and then there's nothing.
"You're all done." Lay sets down the staff and waits for Kai to collect himself. "Does that feel better?"
"Much," Kai admits. He's used to ignoring pain - what dancer isn't? - but it's going to be nice not to wince every time he stretches. "Thanks." He sits up easily, relishing the smooth, unhindered glide of his body as he moves, and slips his shirt back over his shoulders.
"Where were you fighting a Dark Dragon? I didn't think they came this far south."
"On the roof of City Hall." Kai rubs his shoulder ruefully. His back wasn't the only piece of him to sustain damage that day. "And your guess is as good as mine. We've been getting a lot more monsters coming in from the grasslands lately, so maybe some of them are travelling a little further from home."
"Then it looks like I picked a good time to come." Lay smiles - not terribly widely, but a smile is a smile and Kai finds it reassuring. There's been no mention of payment. "They didn't need me in Kalm anymore."
"They've already got a healer up there." Kai's lived in Kalm too, albeit ever so briefly. It didn't take him long to learn who was who in the village, and even less time to figure out he didn't belong there.
"Not anymore."
"Huh? You didn't...no, of course you didn't." For once, Kai's brain kicks in with enough time to prevent him asking Lay if he killed his predecessor. That would just be rude.
"She left, along with most of the other villagers," Lay says. "I don't think they wanted to stay in a place with no sun."
"The weather wasn't that good when I stayed there either, but-"
"No sun and no sky," Lay clarifies. "It's all red up there now."
Kai can't suppress a shudder. It wasn't even that many months ago he stayed in Kalm, and there were only traces of red sometimes, like there were in Midgar when he could look out beyond the plate, and there are in Junon now. Not the entire sky. Maybe one day he'll stand in the streets of Junon and look towards the heavens, and there won't be anything else left to see. It's a frightening thought.
"We see the red down here sometimes," he says. "Some days the veil's thicker than others. But it's never covered everything."
"Not yet," Lay says seriously. "It might. There were more monsters sneaking into the village when the skies started to get worse, and that's when people began to leave. The few who stayed told me I should go help someone else, so now I'm here."
"And it looks like the same thing's happening in Junon. You ever think you might be cursed?"
Lay laughs at Kai's bluntness, unoffended. "Then maybe you should run further south. But before you go, you can tell me where to go for a meal around here. I don't think I've eaten today."
He's not emaciated but he's hardly carrying around excess weight, either, and Kai's stomach's telling him he could do with some dinner himself. Food brings people together, right?
"How do you feel about barbecue?"
-----
The meal isn't as awkward as it could be, even if Lay accidentally leaves his staff in the restaurant and has to go back for it, and when he settles his half of the bill Kai asks, without thinking, if he pays his way by charging for healing. As it turns out, Lay's Restore materia is of a sufficiently high level that he can use it to create healing items, and those are what he sells. He still has to buy the bottles to put them in, however, so he doesn't make much of a profit, he says.
Lay's had a long, tiring day and Kai's always ready to sleep, so they go their separate ways after dinner, Lu Han insisting (via Kai) that they meet again tomorrow. Kai can only apologise for his pushy Summon; Lay shakes his hand and says some of them are like that.
When Kai makes it back to his own room, Lu Han materialises, dressed in a loose shirt and shorts that he can cause to vanish in an instant if required. Sometimes he spends the night. Not all of it, because his time is limited, but enough that Kai can fall asleep listening to the soft, rhythmic breaths beside him. He's always alone in the bed when he wakes.
"What did you think of the unicorn?" Lu Han asks.
"He seems okay." Lu Han looks like he's dying to hear more, so Kai grins slyly and teases him by adding, "He's very handsome, don't you think? And his hands were so gentle-"
That's as far as he gets before Lu Han tackles him onto the bed and reminds him exactly why he's wearing a collar bearing Lu Han's deer emblem.
"I told you that you didn't have to worry about me with someone else," Kai says afterwards, when they're snuggled under the blankets, limbs loose and heavy around each other. "Lay seems like an okay guy, and I think he's doing a good thing. What more do you want me to say?"
"I like him too." Lu Han places a hand on Kai's lower back, where the Dark Dragon's scars no longer mar the skin. "He helped you when I couldn't."
"That's not why you wanted me to meet him, is it?"
"One reason, but there are others that are more important. You and the unicorn are going to take a little trip together."
"His name's not Lay, is it? That's why you keep calling him a unicorn."
"He knows it's not his name," Lu Han says. "But he doesn't know who or what he is, any more than the man you're going to meet does."
Lu Han's hand is soothing on Kai's back, massaging slow circles into his skin; Kai can't bring himself to be agitated by Lu Han's cryptic hints. Not tonight. He's got a shift at the docks tomorrow morning and the physical labour always helps him to think more clearly. Not that thinking ever gets him anywhere with Lu Han, who could never be accused of giving away answers.
"Were you talking to Minseok while I was with Lay?" he asks.
"Yes, but not here."
"In your world?"
"That's right."
Kai shifts in the bed so he's lying on his back, his head cushioned by Lu Han's chest; Lu Han's arms come up to wrap around him and they both stargaze through the gap in the curtains. Maybe Lu Han's world is out there somewhere, Kai thinks. Up amongst the stars.
"Tell me about it?"
"About my world?" Lu Han asks, laughing through his words. "There's not much to tell. It's just like yours, only not here. They seem alike to me."
"Just like here?" Kai can't keep the disappointment from his voice. Wherever Lu Han's from, it should be better than this. How could someone like Lu Han come from a place so...broken? So free from hope?
"Just like here." Lu Han squeezes him gently. "No better, no worse. I live with a group of friends - including Minseok - and we trade notes on you guys over here."
"Hey!"
"Kidding. There are some things we don't talk about, and you are very much part of my private life. I'm keeping you for myself."
Kai's flushed with warmth, all the way down past the collar that illustrates the length to which his Summon will go to mark his territory. Being wanted feels good. Being wanted without anything being demanded in return feels better. And being wanted by someone he wants back feels best of all. "I'm keeping you too," he says firmly. Then, with more hesitation, "Do you...is it like...with your other masters, do you..."
"Not lately. Sometimes I like my masters and sometimes I don't, but when I don't..."
It doesn't take a genius to understand the inference. Lu Han's already ditched one unwanted master so that one of his host materia could cross Kai's path. It would be foolish to think he hasn't done so on other occasions. Lu Han's manipulative enough to arrange matters to suit himself; even so, it must be hard on him, always being summoned to fight battles for other people, without any form of reward and probably precious little in the way of gratitude.
"If you ever stop...um...if you change your mind about me..."
"I won't." Lu Han is very definite about this. "You're one of the people I'm looking for. We're meant to be together."
"Are Lay and Minseok meant to be together? Like this?"
Lu Han shrugs; the vibrations transition to Kai through their bare skin. "Not like this; I don't think either of them are interested. But that's none of our business. I told you you're safe with me and I meant it; I'm not going to leave and I'm not going to make you leave, either. I hope?"
There's a catch in Lu Han's voice that has Kai twisting around to hug him close. All Kai would have to do would be remove the Summon materia from his gauntlets and walk away, and Lu Han would be his no more. "How do you live with that? Your life is..."
"It's my life," Lu Han says simply. "I never said it was perfect."
It certainly doesn't sound perfect when he describes it, but Kai thinks it's more real that way. It's increasingly hard to picture Lu Han as simply vanishing in and out of existence, a magical stranger he has at his beck and call, when Lu Han starts telling him stories about the last football match he played in, and laughing when he describes how Zitao decided to block the goal by scaling the posts and lying between them in mid-air. Lu Han's housemates appear to be an eccentric bunch. Kai's not sure how many there are, but he hears familiar names, even if he's never met their owners.
It's the most Lu Han's ever talked about his own life, so Kai risks probing further. He's terribly curious about one thing in particular. "You don't eat or drink anything when you're with me. Because you can't, or you just don't like my taste in food?"
"I have better things to do when I'm with you," Lu Han points out. "But I guess I could always eat food off your body..."
"So you do eat?" Kai's not going to get distracted by Lu Han cooking up scenarios, no matter how delicious the prospect might be.
"I eat at home - Kyungsoo does most of the cooking - and if we ate whenever we were summoned, we'd all be enormous. What I need to sustain me here is being with you. The longer I'm with a master, the stronger I become. That doesn't require food." Lu Han yawns, punching Kai lightly in the arm when he giggles. "It does require sleep, though. I think I talked too much."
"I wish you'd talk more."
"Tomorrow."
Lu Han disappears in an instant, leaving Kai to flop down onto the mattress alone, muttering about how some warning would be nice.
-----
By the time Kai meets Lay for a late lunch, he's got a list of questions as long as his arm and a faint hope that maybe Lu Han will actually answer some of them, provided they don't relate to Kai's mysterious past. The lunch isn't meant to be late; however, Lay does have a valid excuse for getting lost, having been in Junon for barely a day. He seems happy, even if he does have inexplicable rips in his shirt and dust on the empty bag slung over his shoulder.
"Did you run into trouble?" Kai asks, concerned that his new friend has been robbed en route to lunch.
"Only after I'd sold everything." Lay sets his empty bag down under the table. "The people of Junon must get hurt a lot; I was cleaned out in ten minutes."
"Big city." Kai shrugs. "Lots of customers."
"And lots of monsters. I got a little scratched up by a Kalm Fang on my way over here and had to point it in the right direction to go home again."
Kalm's in the far north of the eastern continent, and the wolves known as 'Kalm Fangs' don't usually leave the area. Not as deadly as a Dark Dragon, but equally displaced. Dangerous creatures are making their way down from the North and Kai shudders to think why.
"You'll have to follow soon." Lu Han's sudden appearance in the last empty seat startles Kai into spilling his water; in contrast, Lay doesn't even blink. "But not quite that far north."
Their waiter doesn't seem surprised either, calmly handing Lu Han a menu as he passes by the table. Lu Han wastes no time in examining their bubble tea selection and informing Kai that as he left his wallet in his armour, Kai will have to pay.
"You had to pick now to start taking tea with me, didn't you?" Kai grumbles, but he's secretly happy anyway. "I suppose I can treat you."
"You're such a good master," Lu Han simpers, grinning across the table at him. "Just for that, I'll even tell you where you need to go."
"Go?" Lay says. "But I only arrived yesterday."
"I hope you're not too attached to Junon," Lu Han says. "Your skills are needed elsewhere. Sorry."
He doesn't sound sorry at all; Kai apologises again for his Summon's whimsy. "He's always like this, I'm sorry. I'm not even sure what we're supposed to be doing."
Lu Han takes a sip of his tea. "You don't know who you really are, either of you. You're not the only ones. There are others you have to find before you can unlock the past, and I can direct you to the first."
"I know why I don't know who I am," Lay says. "And I think I'm okay with it."
"Not for the reason you think." Lu Han's back in mysterious mode. "You don't remember, but I do. Minseok does. So does Baekhyun. He's with the guy you're going to meet, that's how I'll be able to help you find him."
"Find who?" Kai asks.
Lu Han's silent for a moment, then says, "He doesn't know. You'll find him in Midgar."
"Midgar?" Kai had been hoping never to return to his home city. Too many people there know him for someone he isn't.
"He sells his sword in the slums," Lu Han says. "Midgar's changed since you left. More monsters appearing in the city, worse than Junon. The people who can afford it move up to the plate, but everyone else..."
"Yeah." Kai knows what it's like living under Midgar's plate, underneath all the rich people who don't give a damn about the slums down below. If they could afford better, they wouldn't be down there. "Which sector?"
"He moves around, Baekhyun says. I'll be able to tell you more when you reach Midgar."
Kai heaves a sigh of resignation. He's starting to rebuild his life here in Junon, to settle in, and he has a feeling that if he leaves now, he'll lose everything he's worked for. Is it worth giving up the person he's becoming to find the person he once was?
On the other hand, things are changing here, too. What if Junon becomes like Kalm? What if there's nowhere left to go?
There's nothing else for it. "You don't have to come with me," he says to Lay.
"Yes, he does," Lu Han corrects. "We all need to stick together. Besides, you pick up too many injuries to go travelling without a healer, and he's too absent-minded to go without someone to watch his back."
Travelling with Lay means Kai can't teleport back to Midgar, but overall he thinks he'd prefer having the company, if Lay's amenable to it.
"I go where I'm needed," Lay says, smiling at them both. "Wherever that happens to be."
And so it is that the next morning sees them setting out on chocobos, the excitable yellow birds laden down with travel bags. Kai still doesn't have much but he's got more than he had when he left Midgar, and it's with some regret that he gives up his hotel room. The proprietor tells him he's welcome back when he returns; Kai thanks him kindly, though he's certain he won't be returning. Not like this. Meeting Lu Han has set something in motion that meeting Lay - and Minseok, for all that they haven't met yet - has kept rolling. Whatever's waiting for them in Midgar, Kai has no illusions that it'll be the end of the line.
It takes them a little while to establish a comfortable pace. Lay keeps his staff attached lengthways to the saddle, meaning Kai has to keep his distance when they turn or risk being knocked down. Kai's chocobo continually startles at the squirrels who scamper across his path. They have to ride east before they can turn north-west and the journey is not a comfortable one, beset, as it is, by random monster attacks.
More often than not, their chocobos out-run their assailants. The beasts are fleet of foot and can, if properly motivated, deliver quite ferocious pecks in their own defense. Kai just wishes they weren't so inclined to mistake his handfuls of greens and nuts for missiles - feeding time can be a bit of an ordeal, and he's got the beak marks to prove it.
They don't talk much while they ride, pre-occupied - at least in Kai's case - with watching out for trouble. Lu Han remains unusually quiet too. Gathering strength, perhaps. None of the monsters they encounter are dangerous enough to warrant Lu Han appearing unsummoned, but the closer they get to Midgar, the worse Kai feels.
The sky might have something to do with it.
"It looks like a storm's coming," Kai says, looking up with dismay at the hazy red veil. It's much more widespread than when he left, crimson tendrils creeping across clear blue skies with unmistakeable menace.
"I doubt it." Lay pulls up beside him, Midgar no more than a ten minute ride ahead. "It's not as bad as Kalm, not yet, but the rain stopped falling there. The air turned really dry." He licks his lips. "It doesn't taste like that here."
Yet, Kai hears in his mind, and he's not sure if it's his thought or Lu Han's.
It's definitely Lu Han who tells them to go to Wall Market in the Sector 6 slums, and that's when Kai feels a lump of ice begin to form in the pit of his stomach. Of course the guy they're looking for would be there. The last place in the world where he wants to go.
"I can't," he says miserably. "They know me there. I don't know if your former master ever told anyone I stole you from him, but-"
"I set it up that way," Lu Han points out as he materialises before them, giving Kai's chocobo a start. "You were both doing what I wanted."
"Like anyone's going to believe that." Kai slumps in the saddle. "Can't you ask Baekhyun to tell him to come out here, or something?"
Lu Han fluffs the collar of Kai's jacket, resting his hand just a second too long to be casual. "Baekhyun can't talk to him the way I can talk to you. Don't worry. No one's going to remember you after all these months, and that banker's not going to report the theft, is he? Because then he'd have to admit what he was doing with you in the first place."
"Which was?" Lay asks, sounding mildly interested.
"Sleeping," Kai says. "Just sleeping."
Although Lay doesn't seem like he'd care about Kai's somewhat colourful past, Kai's reluctant to explain himself. It's not that he's ashamed, exactly. He's not proud of what he's done, but he had his reasons for doing it and now he's got what he wanted out of the situation - Lu Han. He's moving on, he's...in a relationship of some kind, though damned if he can define it and he's not even going to try. He's only known Lay for a couple of days. Maybe they knew each other in the past, like Lu Han says, but that's not relevant to the here and now when neither of them can remember it, and that doesn't make them nearly close enough for Kai to spill his life story.
"I see," Lay says.
Kai fervently hopes he doesn't. "This guy isn't...uh...where I used to work, is he?"
Lu Han shakes his head. "He's working out at the gym right now. Baekhyun says he'll probably be there for a while."
"If it's going to be problematic for you to go, I can-" Lay begins, but Kai interrupts him.
"I'll go. We'll go, I mean." Kai shifts nervously in the saddle; if they don't move soon, he's going to talk himself out of this altogether. "We should approach him together. This is going to sound crazy as it is."
Lay agrees with him. Lu Han vanishes again after reminding Kai that if they get into any trouble, he can always teleport to safety and return later. It's not like he's a stranger to Midgar, after all. He knows where to go. Kai has to explain about teleporting and how he communicates with Lu Han to Lay as they cover the remaining distance to the city; Lay takes it all in his stride. Or perhaps he's not paying attention - Kai can't be sure.
Sector 6 is as much of a dive as Kai remembers: always in shadow from the plate overhead, with thieves and worse hiding around dark corners while their brassier brethren strut under the gaudy glow of the streetlights. There's a yellowy-green tint to everything that makes even the healthiest complexion appear sallow. Perhaps the only saving grace is that the further they venture under the plate, the less he can see of the red veil that's probably terrifying the life out of all the people living above. If they ever look up. Maybe they don't. Maybe they're all too wrapped up in their own lives, the way the people in the slums are. No point looking somewhere you can't go.
Kai's always looking, though, and now he's keeping an anxious eye on everyone they pass by, hoping not to see any familiar faces. They lead their chocobos to the inn at the entrance to Wall Market and Kai wheedles Lay into taking care of their stabling. The less he has to interact with anyone, the better. He pulls the hood of his jacket down as low as it will go over his face and lurks by the side of the pharmacy until Lay returns, Kai having scared off no fewer than three prospective customers by brooding in the meantime.
"I booked us in for the night as well," Lay says. "You don't have a place here anymore, do you?"
True, in more ways than one. "I gave it up when I left," Kai says, and that's also true, though it would've come as news to his landlord.
"We're not going anywhere else before morning. I'll go take our gear upstairs."
Lay leaves Kai his staff to guard while he drops their luggage off in the inn; that only earns Kai more odd looks. There's no shortage of weapons in the slums but they tend to be carried concealed - guns slipped inside jackets; knives tucked away out of sight. Materia's an even rarer sight and both of Lay's are glowing brightly in his staff. Lu Han's hidden beneath the sleeves of Kai's jacket.
The gym's further north, though not as far as the Honey Bee Inn. Kai's been there a few times, lifting weights, making use of the machines. He's never wrestled in the ring that takes over nearly a third of the floor space, merely watched as the older men went at it while their friends cheered them on. A couple of them had been his customers, once, and he hopes none of them are there right now. The Honey Bee Inn's client base is strictly men-only, and the Men's Hall Gym...well, that's for men too, only sometimes the men don't necessarily look all that manly.
"Can you show me what he looks like?" Kai mutters under his breath to Lu Han. "This place is packed and we don't know who we're searching for."
Lay's not even looking, preoccupied with reading a flyer on the wall. "They do dance lessons on weekends!"
An image filters through to Kai's mind of a young blond man, good-looking in an angry sort of way, with eyebrows that warn not to mess with him at any cost. Kai scans the room, taking in the crowd of bodybuilders showing off with the weights and the trio using the machines in the corner. None of them are blond.
On the far side of the wrestling ring there's a guy Kai recognises - from the back, anyway, but it's hard to mistake the giant red wig, backless dress and high-heeled sandals. The gym is all about being strong and beautiful, so all the signs say, which means the cross-dressers who work out there are some of the toughest specimens of the human race Kai's ever encountered. And this particular guy...he's talking to a tall blond, less buff than most of the occupants of the gym, with a hefty scabbard strapped over the back of his black jacket.
"That's him!" Lu Han says, at such volume Kai swears he's spoken aloud rather than telepathically. "Go talk to him!"
Kai's not great at approaching strangers at the best of times, and strangers who already look annoyed and are not likely to be thrilled at being interrupted are way out of his comfort zone. "He looks busy," he mutters to Lu Han. "I'll just wait until they're done talking."
"Baekhyun says he finished his workout a while ago. He's probably leaving soon; he's already dressed. You should-"
"Kai!"
A familiar voice, but not one Kai wants to hear and it's shut Lu Han up - no mean feat. It's uncomfortably close; Kai turns around and almost crashes into Lay in an effort to put some space between himself and the former customer reaching for his arm. Lay puts out a hand to steady him; the customer slowly withdraws his hand and that's... Oh no. Kai doesn't want to be recognised. Not here. The blond man's slipping out the door and what's Kai doing? Staring dumbly at some nobody who paid him for sex a few times, months ago, nothing particularly awful yet nothing he cares to remember, either.
"I thought that was you," the ex-customer says, smile warm but suggestive, his tone hinting at deeds fondly remembered. "More clothes than the last time I saw you, of course, but I'd know that beautiful body of yours anywhere."
Kai shudders, suddenly cold even in his jacket. Lu Han's voice sounds faded inside his mind, asking him if there's something wrong, and Kai deliberately shuts him out. These aren't thoughts he wants to share with Lu Han. He can deal with this. It's not supposed to be happening but it is, and he can handle it himself. He has to.
He doesn't take the bait. The ex-customer continues, "So you've gone independent?"
"I-" Kai stops. That's not so you robbed a customer and ran away and now there's a price on your head that I intend to claim.
"Kai, do you know him?" Lay asks.
"Just a former satisfied customer," the new bane of Kai's life says. "Are you one too, or his business manager?"
"Business manager?" Lay looks back and forth between Kai and his ex-customer. "Not that I know about."
"He's not my pimp." Kai wishes he could pull his hood back down over his face to hide his rapidly-spreading blush, but as awkward as this conversation is, that wouldn't help matters. "I don't have one."
"Then I'll leave you to your business." Another suggestive smile. "You were the prettiest Bee of them all. So how does one go about getting your honey these days?"
It's a good thing Kai's in such excellent shape, because with the way his blood pressure's rising, he'd be in danger otherwise. Unfortunately, punching the guy in front of him would only get him kicked out the gym, and teleporting away wouldn't be fair to Lay - who, Kai's fairly certain, still has no clue as to what they're talking about.
"One doesn't," Kai spits out. "And one can just buzz off, because there is no more honey."
Well, there's still honey, but it's only for Lu Han now and Kai's not best pleased with him at the moment.
The ex-customer snorts derisively and stalks off, leaving Kai giddily mortified and desperate to get out of the gym before he either passes out or starts breaking through the walls. They can find the blond guy another time.
"You look like you're ready to kill someone," Lay says quietly. "Do you want to spar for a bit?"
Kai's still seeing red, embarrassed and angry both. He can't even look at Lay when he replies, "That might help, thanks."
The ring's unoccupied so Lay sets down his staff, they both shed their outer layers for a quick warm-up, and go at it for the next thirty minutes. They're both quick, they're both graceful. There's a surety to Lay's movements, a confidence Kai strives to match, both of them whirling and dodging till the sparring match resembles a dance. It's beautiful and exhausting and the whole time, Kai's totally alone in his own head, his gauntlets tucked inside his jacket in the corner of the ring. It's what he needs right now. Lu Han told him there was nothing to worry about, and while he might've been right about Kai's very brief career as a materia thief, he was still wrong in the end. Kai's been recognised once. He doesn't want it to happen again.
Kai feels marginally better by the time they hit the diner, now showered and with the travel stiffness well and truly worked out. Lay doesn't press him for an explanation but talks to him about his techniques instead, and Lu Han doesn't make a peep at all during the meal.
When they return to the inn it transpires that Lay's booked two single rooms.
"I need to make more Potions," he explains. "I don't want the light and noise to keep you up all night."
Kai would rather be alone tonight anyway. It's not that late - he could go out, take a walk around the old neighbourhood, maybe hit the bar - but it's safer inside, where no one can see him, and it's been a long day. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow they'll talk to the blond guy, and he'll easily swallow their crazy story about past lives they don't remember and become one of the gang, and everything will be harmonious.
Yeah, right. And maybe his chocobo will stop being scared of squirrels.
He's not been in bed long when Lu Han materialises, wearing light deer-print summer pyjamas and an apologetic smile. The mattress has just enough room for two if they lie close, and Kai lets him under the blankets, the way he always does. Lu Han hugs him from behind, pulling Kai tight against his chest, and Kai lets him do that, too.
"I got worried," Lu Han says. "You shut me out."
"I didn't know I could do that," Kai mutters back over his shoulder.
"Neither did I. What happened?"
Something else Lu Han doesn't know. That figures. "You act like you have all the answers," Kai says bitterly. "You won't tell me them, but you have them. You told me not to worry about anyone remembering me and I believed you. I believed you...and you were wrong."
"I can't see the future." Lu Han runs his hands over Kai's crossed arms, gently stroking out the tension. "I can only tell you what I think, and sometimes I'm wrong. I told you: we're all people, some of us just operate differently. People are fallible."
"But you're..." It sickens Kai to realise he doesn't know, that he's never truly known. "What are you?"
"A person. A Summon. Myself. There are things I know and can't tell you yet. There are lots of things I don't know and you don't know either, so we have to find out together." Lu Han's hands still, warm against Kai's skin. "I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you."
Kai doesn't expect perfection from humans. He's seen too many of them for that. Lu Han's the first person he's met who's shown him something more, something he can believe in, and he's not without flaws. Kai's seen him show fear - of heights, and that Kai will leave him - and he's often frustrating to talk to. He's not perfect, and Kai's been conveniently ignoring that, pinning his hopes on Lu Han being right, always. That's not fair to Lu Han.
"It's...good enough, I guess." Some of Kai's annoyance begins to cool and fade as rational thought takes over, reminding him that accidents happen, people make mistakes, and sometimes there's just nothing anyone can do. "Sorry. I trust you. I-"
Lu Han cuts him off. "I want you to trust me. But trust yourself too. I'm fuzzy on the details but whatever it was, you dealt with it okay. It's over now. In the morning, go to Sector 7. There's a bar in the slums where you can meet him. Things will be different then."
Sector 7. This is like taking a journey back in time. Maybe he'll get to meet the people who knew him growing up, too. Kai's not sure if that's better or worse than running into his former customers. His family aren't there to see him anymore and that's the only saving grace.
"A bar in the morning?"
"It's how he gets work," Lu Han says. "See, this is information I got from Baekhyun. Don't underestimate the Summon network."
Kai groans. "That doesn't help."
"I'll- I'll tell you if I'm speculating, okay? How about that? I'm not trying to mislead you."
Lu Han sounds as unhappy as Kai feels. The past week's been crazy, with Lay's arrival in Junon and the sudden rush to Midgar. Where to next? And do any of them have any say in it?
"Just drop it." Kai shakes his head. "It's stupid and it's pointless and I don't feel like talking anymore."
"If you don't want to talk, I can go with that," Lu Han says, and the hand slipping under the front of Kai's shirt tells him exactly what Lu Han has in mind.
This is easy too, like letting Lu Han slip beneath the blankets. This is familiar, sword-calloused hands on Kai's chest, Lu Han pressing against him through a layer of fabric, breath hot on the back of Kai's neck. There's nothing different about the butterfly kisses Lu Han sprinkles everywhere he can reach. Kai's still tired, still grumpy enough that it takes him a while to unwind. Tension everywhere; resentment and regret rolled into one. Things are changing and Lu Han seems to think this will make it better.
Kai's not so sure. He lets Lu Han nudge him onto his back and pull himself over for a kiss in which Kai's a less than enthusiastic participant. It doesn't seem to matter. This usually works. Normally, this makes Kai feel special, feel loved. Normally, he'd be touching Lu Han right back, carding fingers through messy blond hair, licking lips and tracing circles around laughing eyes. When he's with Lu Han, he doesn't feel like someone else's property, to be paid for by the hour.
But tonight...
That customer thought he'd gone independent, become one of the streetwalkers lurking in the corners of Wall Market, sinking his hooks into anyone with enough money to pay his price. One way or another, Kai's been selling himself all his life. Meeting Lu Han has finally made him his own man.
Except that it sure doesn't feel like it right now, not when Lu Han's nuzzling softly at his neck, swiping his tongue along the skin around the collar - his collar, with Lu Han's mark - and Kai's never felt less up for it than he does at this moment.
He can do this. Hold himself stiff and still and let Lu Han take what he wants, what he thinks will make things right between them. Nothing he hasn't done before, though that was another life, with other people - people he didn't care about, who didn't care about him in return. Business transactions, nothing more. They can do this, and then they'll sleep, and Lu Han will disappear during the night the way he always does. Kai will wake up alone and nothing will be weird in the morning. He'll make sure of it.
"Where are you?" Lu Han whispers, ticklish against Kai's too-warm cheek.
"I'm here. Where else am I going to be?"
"You're not, though." Lu Han draws back enough that his words are no longer muffled by skin. "Your thoughts are all jumbled up again and I can't see through them."
"Nothing to see." Kai hopes that's true and Lu Han doesn't decide to push, because the thoughts he's having...are not ones he'd like to share. He doesn't want to hurt Lu Han any more than Lu Han wants to hurt him, but emotions and logic aren't a terrific combination, not when emotions are winning out.
"Hmm." Lu Han doesn't sound convinced. There's hesitation when he curls his fingers around the hem of Kai's shirt; when he doesn't draw it up, Kai wriggles down to help matters and Lu Han lets go. "This isn't working, is it?"
"It's fine."
"You're about as eager as a pig walking into a slaughterhouse."
That, at least, raises a laugh from Kai. "A pig doesn't want to be killed. You can't kill me."
"I can do a lot worse than kill you," Lu Han says grimly. "And leave you alive afterwards, that's worst of all."
The temperature in the warm, cosy bed drops by an uncomfortable degree, like someone's just used Ice magic on the blankets. That side of Lu Han's for the monsters who fall beneath his blade, not for the master who wants very much for things to be settled, for things to be right.
"You won't."
"At least trust me enough to tell me the truth? I'm not going to storm into your mind to try to find it."
"I..." Kai's not sure how to explain, much less how to do so without expiring from embarrassment. Lu Han's not likely to let the subject drop, though. "I don't know how much you got of what happened in the gym."
"Not much. When you started blocking me, I could either come out or leave you alone. I figured you could handle the situation by yourself or you'd have called me, so I didn't push it."
"Well, I met someone. A former customer. He," Kai takes a deep breath, lets it out unsteadily, "recognised me from the Honey Bee Inn. He thought I was still in the same line of work, and that Lay was either my customer or my pimp. Like that's all I've ever been!"
"Easy," Lu Han soothes, hand reaching for Kai's; that's when Kai realises he's shaking, muscles clenched tight enough to cause a fine trembling all over his body. This kind of tension, he works out by dancing, or in fights - it's much harder to let Lu Han try to coax it from him. "You know that's not true."
"Do I?" Kai's trying hard to keep his voice down; his room has neighbours on both sides and he'd rather not give them an earful of things that might come back to haunt him over breakfast. "You tell me I was someone before and I don't know anything about that. The stuff I do remember, everything since I was a kid...I've never been anyone. Not really."
"Everyone's someone," Lu Han points out. "But you find out who you are as you go."
"Did you?"
"As I grew up, yeah. My dreams told me I was supposed to do this, to come here and meet you, and that's what I'm doing now. Don't you have dreams?"
"I used to think I did."
"You will." Lu Han gives Kai's hand a comforting squeeze. "And we'll both be in them."
Maybe that's meant to be a come-on, but Kai doesn't think so. He exhales noisily, willing the expelled air to carry away the tension in his body. This is who he is now. Not one of the Bees, sleeping with strange men for money and the chance to get his hands on a Summon. Not a street kid from the slums, trading the only currency he had for toe shoes and dance lessons. Not the little boy watching his parents struggling to make ends meet and vowing that he wasn't going to end up in the same boat, that he'd make it out of the slums one way or another.
He's out now, he's done that much. Sure, he's back temporarily, but he's not staying. There's nothing keeping him here.
Nothing except Lu Han's fingers tangled in his.
"When I have them, will they come true?" he asks, hesitant because he's not entirely sure he wants to know.
"Mine did." Lu Han presses a kiss to Kai's temple. "If you want them to come true, you have to work at them."
"Is that another guess?"
"That one's the truth. You'll find out eventually."
"You and your secrets," Kai grumbles. "Maybe I'll have to ask Lay to call Minseok out and see if he likes to gossip more."
"If it's gossip you want, try Kyungsoo," Lu Han says. "Just don't tell him he's cute, or he won't talk to you for a week."
Kai giggles. "How about you? If I tell you you're cute, will you keep quiet for a week?"
"Only in your dreams."
No one's going to be having any dreams whatsoever if they don't sleep. Lu Han's still there, warm and solid and real, unlike the ghosts of Kai's past, and Kai can fall asleep listening to the rhythm of his breath. Sleep's about all he's good for tonight.
"Should I go?" Lu Han asks.
"Stay?"
Lu Han's still hard against Kai's thigh, a fact they're both politely ignoring, while Kai's as unmoved as he has been all night. There's nothing like being reminded he's nobody to extinguish any sparks of arousal that might otherwise have ignited. If Lu Han stays...
"If you like," Lu Han says, with a sweet smile Kai can't quite see but hears only too clearly. "I think this bed might be more comfortable if I moved a little, though."
They end up spooned on their sides, Lu Han's back pressed to Kai's front, Kai clinging as tight as his childhood self to his favourite teddy bear. If Lu Han's uncomfortable, he doesn't mention it.
As always, he's gone by morning.
Part 2