so i was fine with it up until dinner today...

i just don't understand how you can love someone one day and then just stop the next. there has to be a reason.

that, or he's just scared.

either way, i just feel empty. that's the one thing i really wanted, and it was taken away from me. what do i have left?

i'm not quite sure why i'm already freaking out about this already. it's not like he's made up his mind...just listed it as a possibility. he's thinking this weekend. he should have things figured out by sunday ( Read more... )

i'm at the point where i don't want to come home anymore. it's horrible, but i just don't ( Read more... )

thinking about it....everything else just seems so insignificant right now.

had it been tuesday when it happened, it could have been me.

had the school closed down and he went around his dorm, it could have been me.

right now, i'm just happy to be alive.

can't sleep. maybe it's because i've only been awake for about 13 hours. normally i'm up for about 16. hopefully i can get to sleep soon...i have a long day and i can't be a grouch ( Read more... )

this is why i don't plan for the future. when i do, things go wrong. for example, i planned for a long relationship with travis, and that ended suddenly. i started planning for this summer as UD, and then someone else got the job. and now, i planned for him to be here next year, and then he didn't get accepted. cool. real cool. i think this ( Read more... )

i feel like things are too routine right now. i'm used to everything that's going on.

i need something to spice things up.

i feel like i'm going through the motions right now. i dont' know why. i don't know what's wrong with me. i just feel....numb.

update on the sweatshirt: my day yesterday was pretty good. all thanks to the sweatshirt. haha. that or my attitude. i also got really upset when i was on the phone w/ my boy. i don't know why. i just miss him, and miss camp, and am kinda getting fed up with things here. even though things could be much worse, i don't consider that. i just ( Read more... )

so, wearing my camp sweatship today will make things better...right?

i sure hope so