(no subject)
Who: Gaku and Envy
Where: Cracker Jack factory
When: Yesterday (Sunday) afternoon
What: Envy goes to help Gaku find his clue and things get a bit violent.
This probably wasn't a good idea. It most definitely wasn't a good idea. Gaku definitely hated Envy--Envy hated Gaku. But Momoshiro loved Gaku. Now that Envy knew just how much it hurt to be rejected by the person you loved, he didn't want his friend to have to suffer any longer. Even though Gaku had told him not to help, he was going to try anyway. The more who searched, the faster the clue would be found, and the sooner Gaku would stop hurting Momoshiro. It had been a little difficult finding Gaku, but after making someone track the location of his laptop, narrowing it down to areas with Cracker Jack factories, Envy had pinpointed where the man was. He had waited until he got to see Light safely off to that Jack the Ripper person, had promised Azuma he would be back soon, and then left. And now he was at his destination. Silently he crept inside, hiding behind things as he searched for Gaku.
Gaku lifted another box and turned his gaze back to his laptop. Nothing was happening, frowning he turned away and flipped his thumb over the box and sighed deeply. This was so boring, and tiring. He heard a shuffle and looked up, searching the room for the intruder. Most of the workers hadn't come into this area and when they did he could avoid him. But they didn't shuffle.
Well, there was Gaku, looking as much of a bastard as ever. If Envy wanted to help Momoshiro, though, then he needed to suck it up and do this. Finally he stepped out from where he'd been hiding (or trying to, since Gaku seemed to have heard it) and approached him. They weren't friends so he was unsure of what to do. So he settled for a forced smile and a "Hey."
Gaku looked at him. There was Envy. After everything and he was just standing there. A million things raced through his head and they all came to the same conclusion. He stepped forward. "Hello Envy." He clenched his fists and stepped closer, eyeing the sin with distaste. He was in no mood, no mood to deal with him. He threw his arm back and slammed it into the sin's jaw. "Bastard!"
Envy really should have been expecting something of the sort. Gaku was an asshole, after all, so it made sense. But it had really hurt. He stumbled back, tripped over a huge pile of empty Cracker Jack boxes, and hit the ground hard. Now his jaw was aching and he could taste blood. If anyone had deserved that punch, it sure as hell hadn't been him! "Ow," he whispered, not bothering to get up and instead pressing a hand to his bleeding lip.
Gaku, at any other time would have felt pity. Or sympathy. Or any other kind of emotion. But right now, he honestly didn't care. He ran his fingers through his already mussed hair and glared. "Get up," he spat. "What do you want?" He was so tired and frustrated and could not deal with this right now.
And Envy definitely wasn't in the mood either. With a snarl he hurled an empty box up at him. "To help you get your fucking feelings back," he snapped right back at Gaku. "Not that I believe you had any in the first place, but Momo does, and Mary obviously took something from you that made you so damn retarded."
Gaku merely let the box hit him, then turned around and reached for another one "Well. It's appreciated but get the hell away from me. Next time it won't be my fist I hit you with. Go home Envy." He glared heatedly at the boxes, as though they were responsible.
"I can't fucking go home," Envy replied bitterly as he climbed to his feet, having to kick away boxes as he did. "But if whatever you're gonna hit me with next is that gross thing in your pants, you can bet your sorry human ass I'm gonna try to get through The Gate as soon as I can. But I'm not young enough for you, am I, Gakukins?"
Gaku bit down on his tongue, hard. No. He wasn't letting this bastard get to him. He wasn't. He had his feelings to find. He thought about it for a whole of two seconds, but he was on his feet before he could think about it, hands clenched in the front of Envy's shirt. "You have no right to speak to me at all. Get the hell away from me."
Envy's expression changed to one of amusement as he was grabbed. The man really was such an immature bastard, acting as though he was the only one in the entire world who had ever been hurt. Gaku would never know the pain that Envy had. "Fine, we won't speak to each other," he agreed. "There are better ways to communicate." It was a bit of a stretch, but Envy managed to lean up by standing on the tips of his toes, and pressed their mouths together in a firm kiss.
Gaku opened his eyes wide and didn't move. Fuck, this was insane. Envy was insane! he grabbed his shoulders and shoved him back harshly, not caring if he hit anything. He clapped a hand over his mouth and glared, there wasn't much else he thought he could do. What the hell was the sin thinking? That…what did that accomplish? He didn't understand and just stared at him.
Oh good. Finally Gaku had shut up. Maybe now he would take a moment to listen to him. Envy managed to stay standing this time and he wiped the blood from his mouth with a frown. "I guess you're gonna listen to me now, aren't you?" he asked quietly. "Good. Fucking listen, because that kiss wasn't a gift. It was to make you shut your damn mouth." He moved forward, kicking boxes out of his way, and when he got close enough he jabbed Gaku hard in the chest with a finger. "I will help you find your clue and you will respect that I'm Momo's friend and care about him." He poked him hard again. "You're not gonna give me anymore trouble because you gave me enough yesterday and if you give me any more I might snap because I'm on the verge of killing the next human I see."
Gaku narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to reply, but realized that it wouldn't be smart in his current position. "Oh yes, Envy you control everything just because you're Momo's friend. Back the fuck off. Do what you want, just don't talk to me." He rubbed where Envy had poked him absently and turned away, squaring his shoulders. "Do whatever you want Envy. I don't care. Kill me all you want, I won't make it easy for you, bastard.” Mentally he groaned, but he couldn't take it back. He was furious. It didn't matter. Smart was out the window anyway
Had Gaku been this impossible before he'd lost his feelings? Envy was too angry to remember and he tried to calm himself down before those horribly ugly marks started appearing all over his body again. If Gaku wasn't going to listen by verbal compromising, maybe physical would be better. The painful sort. Once Gaku stopped talking, Envy lashed out and punched him on the head. As much as he wanted to use all his strength to punch through his head, he greatly controlled the amount he used.
Gaku fell forward with a cry and held his head. He glared up through his hair and snarled. "Feel better?" His head ached, and his vision was dazed. Didn't matter.
"Much." Envy smiled cheerfully at him regardless of how he truly felt. "Brush your hair. It looks gross." Taking it upon himself, he went to the spot Gaku had been in, sat down, and began to rip open boxes.
Gaku staggered to his feet and resisted the urge to hit the sin again. It would only get him killed so he hissed and stood up straighter, ignored the pounding in his head and started to walk way.
From the corners of his eyes Envy could see him leaving. Without paying much attention since he knew his aim was decent, he picked up an unopened box of Cracker Jack and flung it at Gaku's head. And ate some of the treat with his other hand while he did. "This is really good. Tried any yet?"
Gaku flinched and stopped. "They're wonderful snacks to be sure," he said dryly, reminding himself that violence would only result in more pain for himself. He stopped where he was, but didn't turn around.
This just wasn't working; being so hostile from the start had been so unnecessary. Envy sighed and wiped his hands on his pants as he stood again. "Gaku, look," he said softly. "I know you don't like me and I don't like you, but we're doing this for Momo, right? The least we can do is work together so Momo will stop hurting. He's too young to be hurt like this."
Gaku turned around slowly and studied Envy for a moment. "You're right, I don't like you. But … Envy, Hiyoshi was too young to be hurt the way you hurt him. Therefore anything you say to me, is hypocrisy and pointless. I don't want to have anything to do with you." He turned around again and then bit down hard on his lip. "... but if… if I can fix this. Then... fine"
"Would you stop saying that?!" Envy snapped. "I haven't fucking touched that brat! If anyone has it was probably you since he's desperately in love with you!" And it wasn't fair. Two people were in love with Gaku and Yukimura couldn't even spare a bit for him. But at least he had his dear Azuma . . .
Gaku laughed bitterly. This was pathetic. This was honestly pathetic. "Oh yes, I touch everything don't I, Envy? I'm such a whore. You don't even know what you're talking about anymore."
"And are you calling me a whore?" Envy asked slowly, his purple eyes narrowed as he set a hand on his hip. "At least I don't go around flirting with every little boy while my boyfriend thinks I love him. Better to be a whore than a cheating bitch."
Gaku's eyes flew open and he stalked viciously forward. "You…" he couldn't articulate anything that was strong enough. He was teetering on an edge and it was not a good place to be. He wanted to hit him, kick him, punch him, scream. Instead he raised his left hand and slapped him, hard. He growled under his breath and turned around.
The only sign Envy made that the hit had hurt was a soft little sound of pain in the back of his throat. It would heal within seconds and it wasn't something he needed to worry about. Besides, if he truly wanted, he could end Gaku's life right there. "Is this how you solve things?" he asked, voice still quiet. "By hitting people until they shut up? You can hit me all you like, Gaku, and I'm not gonna stop talking to you until we find your next clue. Momo needs you."
Gaku couldn't take it. "I KNOW!" he roared. "I know! Why the hell do you think I am here? Why do think I have done.. any of this!? Are you that stupid? God..." he clenched his fists and reached for another box. "But I don't need you! I don't care what you owe Momo, just let me do this! Just leave me the hell alone."
"If you do this on your own it's gonna take you too long," Envy replied calmly, but his hands, which he had curled into fists, were shaking with the effort to keep his temper back. "Two of us together can get it done faster. And you're so damn frustrated that you probably wouldn't even realize you found the clue. I'm helping."
Gaku threw his head back and laughed and when he could think clearly he looked at Envy with no small amount of fury and amusement. "Oh, I'm frustrated? Why do you think that is, Envy-san?"
Envy blinked up at him. "Because you're just a fucking insane robot seller," he replied. "Now keep looking where you were and I'll go find another pile to look at. Hurry up. I bet you haven't eaten real food for a while and a human can't live off of this stuff for too long."
Gaku smiled. "I am a fucking insane robot seller. That's rich, coming from you." But Gaku sat down anyway. He needed to find his clue. He'd just pretend Envy wasn't there.
Envy rolled his eyes and would have hit Gaku if he were closer. This time he kept his distance, finding a stack of boxes that had yet to be searched through. Only once he'd seated himself and begun to rip them open did he speak. "So your feelings are gone," he said quietly, turning a box over and watching as the food tumbled out, "but obviously something's making you care. If you didn't care you wouldn't be here right now, taking all this time to search for the clue, right?"
Gaku didn't look at him, just sorted through boxes, sighing and running his fingers through his hair again. "Yes. That's - yes.” He wasn’t sure where that came from really, why that is. But he planned on spending the time he had without his feelings figuring it the hell out.
"Hm." Envy flicked a Cracker Jack at Gaku. "I think I read somewhere that the more frustrated you are, the more difficult things get. I bet if you tried not to be so angry and frustrated it would be easier for you to find the next clue you need."
Gaku was floored. Well and truly. He wanted to laugh, to - anything. He just couldn't understand this. Couldn't understand the way his life had turned. "Yes, and all of my frustration would be gone if anyone but you cared that I was here. And you care only because it suits your purposes. I'd be less frustrated if I didn't have to deal with all the people kissing your feet every goddamn day' He was envious of Envy, that startled a laugh out of him and he picked up another box.
Finally Envy lost it. He just snapped. After everything he'd been put through the day before, the years before, he was finally trying to help some fucking humans and they were just doing it all over again. It just went to prove that there was honestly not a single shred of hope for humanity. Absolutely livid, the marks bloomed all along the side of his body starting from his face down to his toes. Envy picked up a metal container and just threw it with every last ounce of his strength that came from being a homunculus and being cursed by Orochimaru. And he made sure it was aimed directly for Gaku.
Gaku moved. His eyes were wide, mouth open and the can went straight through boxes. He gaped and looked from where he was on the ground, sprawled awkwardly - he'd leapt and knocked boxes with him. "…the fuck? I knew it!" He said softly, and knew he was in very deep shit. He glanced at Envy, at the marks, at the anger in his face and backed up, keeping his gaze steady. He wouldn't be afraid of him.
Envy wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill him as much as he wanted to kill Sanada. And by the look that had been on Gaku's face, he knew the human knew it. "You," he hissed furiously as he began to storm toward him, "are worthless. If anyone is not worth loving, it's you! You make the people who love you suffer and I don't care that you have an excuse this time. You hurt Momo even when you were a woman." As Envy walked by an enormous metal vat he slammed the side of his fist into it without even looking. The metal around the area his fist had hit crumpled and then broke, emptying a steady stream of whatever had been inside the vat onto the floor instead. "And if anyone deserves to have his feet kissed it's me. You won't know the definition of suffering until you've gone through it for centuries. You are nothing but an important little pawn, you stupid human!"
Gaku winced and clenched his fists, and tried to block Envy out. Make people suffer. That just... fuck, he didn't honestly though. He knew he didn't. He lived to make other people happy - suffering was not in that program. He didn't pay attention to Envy's rage anymore, and a strangled sob worked it's way from his throat and he shook for a moment then sat up, biting down on his tongue and swallowing the onslaught of hurt. He carefully blanked his face and looked at Envy dully. "I know."
He was faking it. The bastard was faking that he was okay! Envy had seen Gaku's initial reaction before he had covered it. And he knew for a fact that Gaku didn't truly agree with him. "Momo deserves better than you," he told him as calmly as he could, though the marks seemed darker than ever, and his fists were shaking as he tried to keep from simply beating Gaku to death. If he did that Momoshiro would never forgive him. "Yukimura deserves better than Sanada. But you're all human and don't understand anything. I hate you."
"I know," he said again, softly. He couldn't think of anything else to say. Hell, he knew Envy was right in a sense. People would never understand anything, and people would always be hurt. He just wished it wasn't Envy deliver this rousing little speech. He sighed and repeated himself, shakily. "I know."
Envy turned and slammed his fist into some machinery with a choked sob. He had come here to be helpful so that he could help Momoshiro stop hurting, and help Gaku get his feelings back, and this was what he got. Every single time he tried to help someone it just went wrong. It was because they were humans and he wasn't. Yukimura didn't love him because he wasn't human. Yukimura hated him because he didn't belong there. He wanted to go back home. His real home. Dropping his hand from the now useless machinery, he crouched down and picked up a box that had yet to be opened, but was a bit bent. Weren’t damaged things always misunderstood? Envy laughed and put a hand over his face before he started crying. Then he tossed the box to Gaku. "Check that one," he whispered.
Gaku looked up, caught the box and licked his lips. He opened it and… saw the clue. His mouth suddenly dry. "Thank you," he said quietly, but made no attempt to move. He wasn't sure he wanted to.
Well, at least Gaku had had the decency to thank him. Envy set the clue and box on top of crates where Gaku would be able to see it. And then he just left. Now that he'd done what he had gone there to do, he was going back to Azuma.
Gaku rubbed his eyes and reached for the clue, knowing that ... well, hoping that it would send him back. "Sorry," Gaku called after him, not knowing why but not caring.
That made Envy stop, just for a moment, and he nearly looked back, but Gaku just wasn't worth it. Liars weren't worth it. "No, you're not," he called back softly. He slipped out through the doors before giving Gaku a chance to respond.
Gaku glared, he was sick of people calling him a liar. Cursing he reached for the clue and waited for the same thing to happen, he closed his laptop and closed his eyes. This was fucked up.
Where: Cracker Jack factory
When: Yesterday (Sunday) afternoon
What: Envy goes to help Gaku find his clue and things get a bit violent.
This probably wasn't a good idea. It most definitely wasn't a good idea. Gaku definitely hated Envy--Envy hated Gaku. But Momoshiro loved Gaku. Now that Envy knew just how much it hurt to be rejected by the person you loved, he didn't want his friend to have to suffer any longer. Even though Gaku had told him not to help, he was going to try anyway. The more who searched, the faster the clue would be found, and the sooner Gaku would stop hurting Momoshiro. It had been a little difficult finding Gaku, but after making someone track the location of his laptop, narrowing it down to areas with Cracker Jack factories, Envy had pinpointed where the man was. He had waited until he got to see Light safely off to that Jack the Ripper person, had promised Azuma he would be back soon, and then left. And now he was at his destination. Silently he crept inside, hiding behind things as he searched for Gaku.
Gaku lifted another box and turned his gaze back to his laptop. Nothing was happening, frowning he turned away and flipped his thumb over the box and sighed deeply. This was so boring, and tiring. He heard a shuffle and looked up, searching the room for the intruder. Most of the workers hadn't come into this area and when they did he could avoid him. But they didn't shuffle.
Well, there was Gaku, looking as much of a bastard as ever. If Envy wanted to help Momoshiro, though, then he needed to suck it up and do this. Finally he stepped out from where he'd been hiding (or trying to, since Gaku seemed to have heard it) and approached him. They weren't friends so he was unsure of what to do. So he settled for a forced smile and a "Hey."
Gaku looked at him. There was Envy. After everything and he was just standing there. A million things raced through his head and they all came to the same conclusion. He stepped forward. "Hello Envy." He clenched his fists and stepped closer, eyeing the sin with distaste. He was in no mood, no mood to deal with him. He threw his arm back and slammed it into the sin's jaw. "Bastard!"
Envy really should have been expecting something of the sort. Gaku was an asshole, after all, so it made sense. But it had really hurt. He stumbled back, tripped over a huge pile of empty Cracker Jack boxes, and hit the ground hard. Now his jaw was aching and he could taste blood. If anyone had deserved that punch, it sure as hell hadn't been him! "Ow," he whispered, not bothering to get up and instead pressing a hand to his bleeding lip.
Gaku, at any other time would have felt pity. Or sympathy. Or any other kind of emotion. But right now, he honestly didn't care. He ran his fingers through his already mussed hair and glared. "Get up," he spat. "What do you want?" He was so tired and frustrated and could not deal with this right now.
And Envy definitely wasn't in the mood either. With a snarl he hurled an empty box up at him. "To help you get your fucking feelings back," he snapped right back at Gaku. "Not that I believe you had any in the first place, but Momo does, and Mary obviously took something from you that made you so damn retarded."
Gaku merely let the box hit him, then turned around and reached for another one "Well. It's appreciated but get the hell away from me. Next time it won't be my fist I hit you with. Go home Envy." He glared heatedly at the boxes, as though they were responsible.
"I can't fucking go home," Envy replied bitterly as he climbed to his feet, having to kick away boxes as he did. "But if whatever you're gonna hit me with next is that gross thing in your pants, you can bet your sorry human ass I'm gonna try to get through The Gate as soon as I can. But I'm not young enough for you, am I, Gakukins?"
Gaku bit down on his tongue, hard. No. He wasn't letting this bastard get to him. He wasn't. He had his feelings to find. He thought about it for a whole of two seconds, but he was on his feet before he could think about it, hands clenched in the front of Envy's shirt. "You have no right to speak to me at all. Get the hell away from me."
Envy's expression changed to one of amusement as he was grabbed. The man really was such an immature bastard, acting as though he was the only one in the entire world who had ever been hurt. Gaku would never know the pain that Envy had. "Fine, we won't speak to each other," he agreed. "There are better ways to communicate." It was a bit of a stretch, but Envy managed to lean up by standing on the tips of his toes, and pressed their mouths together in a firm kiss.
Gaku opened his eyes wide and didn't move. Fuck, this was insane. Envy was insane! he grabbed his shoulders and shoved him back harshly, not caring if he hit anything. He clapped a hand over his mouth and glared, there wasn't much else he thought he could do. What the hell was the sin thinking? That…what did that accomplish? He didn't understand and just stared at him.
Oh good. Finally Gaku had shut up. Maybe now he would take a moment to listen to him. Envy managed to stay standing this time and he wiped the blood from his mouth with a frown. "I guess you're gonna listen to me now, aren't you?" he asked quietly. "Good. Fucking listen, because that kiss wasn't a gift. It was to make you shut your damn mouth." He moved forward, kicking boxes out of his way, and when he got close enough he jabbed Gaku hard in the chest with a finger. "I will help you find your clue and you will respect that I'm Momo's friend and care about him." He poked him hard again. "You're not gonna give me anymore trouble because you gave me enough yesterday and if you give me any more I might snap because I'm on the verge of killing the next human I see."
Gaku narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to reply, but realized that it wouldn't be smart in his current position. "Oh yes, Envy you control everything just because you're Momo's friend. Back the fuck off. Do what you want, just don't talk to me." He rubbed where Envy had poked him absently and turned away, squaring his shoulders. "Do whatever you want Envy. I don't care. Kill me all you want, I won't make it easy for you, bastard.” Mentally he groaned, but he couldn't take it back. He was furious. It didn't matter. Smart was out the window anyway
Had Gaku been this impossible before he'd lost his feelings? Envy was too angry to remember and he tried to calm himself down before those horribly ugly marks started appearing all over his body again. If Gaku wasn't going to listen by verbal compromising, maybe physical would be better. The painful sort. Once Gaku stopped talking, Envy lashed out and punched him on the head. As much as he wanted to use all his strength to punch through his head, he greatly controlled the amount he used.
Gaku fell forward with a cry and held his head. He glared up through his hair and snarled. "Feel better?" His head ached, and his vision was dazed. Didn't matter.
"Much." Envy smiled cheerfully at him regardless of how he truly felt. "Brush your hair. It looks gross." Taking it upon himself, he went to the spot Gaku had been in, sat down, and began to rip open boxes.
Gaku staggered to his feet and resisted the urge to hit the sin again. It would only get him killed so he hissed and stood up straighter, ignored the pounding in his head and started to walk way.
From the corners of his eyes Envy could see him leaving. Without paying much attention since he knew his aim was decent, he picked up an unopened box of Cracker Jack and flung it at Gaku's head. And ate some of the treat with his other hand while he did. "This is really good. Tried any yet?"
Gaku flinched and stopped. "They're wonderful snacks to be sure," he said dryly, reminding himself that violence would only result in more pain for himself. He stopped where he was, but didn't turn around.
This just wasn't working; being so hostile from the start had been so unnecessary. Envy sighed and wiped his hands on his pants as he stood again. "Gaku, look," he said softly. "I know you don't like me and I don't like you, but we're doing this for Momo, right? The least we can do is work together so Momo will stop hurting. He's too young to be hurt like this."
Gaku turned around slowly and studied Envy for a moment. "You're right, I don't like you. But … Envy, Hiyoshi was too young to be hurt the way you hurt him. Therefore anything you say to me, is hypocrisy and pointless. I don't want to have anything to do with you." He turned around again and then bit down hard on his lip. "... but if… if I can fix this. Then... fine"
"Would you stop saying that?!" Envy snapped. "I haven't fucking touched that brat! If anyone has it was probably you since he's desperately in love with you!" And it wasn't fair. Two people were in love with Gaku and Yukimura couldn't even spare a bit for him. But at least he had his dear Azuma . . .
Gaku laughed bitterly. This was pathetic. This was honestly pathetic. "Oh yes, I touch everything don't I, Envy? I'm such a whore. You don't even know what you're talking about anymore."
"And are you calling me a whore?" Envy asked slowly, his purple eyes narrowed as he set a hand on his hip. "At least I don't go around flirting with every little boy while my boyfriend thinks I love him. Better to be a whore than a cheating bitch."
Gaku's eyes flew open and he stalked viciously forward. "You…" he couldn't articulate anything that was strong enough. He was teetering on an edge and it was not a good place to be. He wanted to hit him, kick him, punch him, scream. Instead he raised his left hand and slapped him, hard. He growled under his breath and turned around.
The only sign Envy made that the hit had hurt was a soft little sound of pain in the back of his throat. It would heal within seconds and it wasn't something he needed to worry about. Besides, if he truly wanted, he could end Gaku's life right there. "Is this how you solve things?" he asked, voice still quiet. "By hitting people until they shut up? You can hit me all you like, Gaku, and I'm not gonna stop talking to you until we find your next clue. Momo needs you."
Gaku couldn't take it. "I KNOW!" he roared. "I know! Why the hell do you think I am here? Why do think I have done.. any of this!? Are you that stupid? God..." he clenched his fists and reached for another box. "But I don't need you! I don't care what you owe Momo, just let me do this! Just leave me the hell alone."
"If you do this on your own it's gonna take you too long," Envy replied calmly, but his hands, which he had curled into fists, were shaking with the effort to keep his temper back. "Two of us together can get it done faster. And you're so damn frustrated that you probably wouldn't even realize you found the clue. I'm helping."
Gaku threw his head back and laughed and when he could think clearly he looked at Envy with no small amount of fury and amusement. "Oh, I'm frustrated? Why do you think that is, Envy-san?"
Envy blinked up at him. "Because you're just a fucking insane robot seller," he replied. "Now keep looking where you were and I'll go find another pile to look at. Hurry up. I bet you haven't eaten real food for a while and a human can't live off of this stuff for too long."
Gaku smiled. "I am a fucking insane robot seller. That's rich, coming from you." But Gaku sat down anyway. He needed to find his clue. He'd just pretend Envy wasn't there.
Envy rolled his eyes and would have hit Gaku if he were closer. This time he kept his distance, finding a stack of boxes that had yet to be searched through. Only once he'd seated himself and begun to rip them open did he speak. "So your feelings are gone," he said quietly, turning a box over and watching as the food tumbled out, "but obviously something's making you care. If you didn't care you wouldn't be here right now, taking all this time to search for the clue, right?"
Gaku didn't look at him, just sorted through boxes, sighing and running his fingers through his hair again. "Yes. That's - yes.” He wasn’t sure where that came from really, why that is. But he planned on spending the time he had without his feelings figuring it the hell out.
"Hm." Envy flicked a Cracker Jack at Gaku. "I think I read somewhere that the more frustrated you are, the more difficult things get. I bet if you tried not to be so angry and frustrated it would be easier for you to find the next clue you need."
Gaku was floored. Well and truly. He wanted to laugh, to - anything. He just couldn't understand this. Couldn't understand the way his life had turned. "Yes, and all of my frustration would be gone if anyone but you cared that I was here. And you care only because it suits your purposes. I'd be less frustrated if I didn't have to deal with all the people kissing your feet every goddamn day' He was envious of Envy, that startled a laugh out of him and he picked up another box.
Finally Envy lost it. He just snapped. After everything he'd been put through the day before, the years before, he was finally trying to help some fucking humans and they were just doing it all over again. It just went to prove that there was honestly not a single shred of hope for humanity. Absolutely livid, the marks bloomed all along the side of his body starting from his face down to his toes. Envy picked up a metal container and just threw it with every last ounce of his strength that came from being a homunculus and being cursed by Orochimaru. And he made sure it was aimed directly for Gaku.
Gaku moved. His eyes were wide, mouth open and the can went straight through boxes. He gaped and looked from where he was on the ground, sprawled awkwardly - he'd leapt and knocked boxes with him. "…the fuck? I knew it!" He said softly, and knew he was in very deep shit. He glanced at Envy, at the marks, at the anger in his face and backed up, keeping his gaze steady. He wouldn't be afraid of him.
Envy wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill him as much as he wanted to kill Sanada. And by the look that had been on Gaku's face, he knew the human knew it. "You," he hissed furiously as he began to storm toward him, "are worthless. If anyone is not worth loving, it's you! You make the people who love you suffer and I don't care that you have an excuse this time. You hurt Momo even when you were a woman." As Envy walked by an enormous metal vat he slammed the side of his fist into it without even looking. The metal around the area his fist had hit crumpled and then broke, emptying a steady stream of whatever had been inside the vat onto the floor instead. "And if anyone deserves to have his feet kissed it's me. You won't know the definition of suffering until you've gone through it for centuries. You are nothing but an important little pawn, you stupid human!"
Gaku winced and clenched his fists, and tried to block Envy out. Make people suffer. That just... fuck, he didn't honestly though. He knew he didn't. He lived to make other people happy - suffering was not in that program. He didn't pay attention to Envy's rage anymore, and a strangled sob worked it's way from his throat and he shook for a moment then sat up, biting down on his tongue and swallowing the onslaught of hurt. He carefully blanked his face and looked at Envy dully. "I know."
He was faking it. The bastard was faking that he was okay! Envy had seen Gaku's initial reaction before he had covered it. And he knew for a fact that Gaku didn't truly agree with him. "Momo deserves better than you," he told him as calmly as he could, though the marks seemed darker than ever, and his fists were shaking as he tried to keep from simply beating Gaku to death. If he did that Momoshiro would never forgive him. "Yukimura deserves better than Sanada. But you're all human and don't understand anything. I hate you."
"I know," he said again, softly. He couldn't think of anything else to say. Hell, he knew Envy was right in a sense. People would never understand anything, and people would always be hurt. He just wished it wasn't Envy deliver this rousing little speech. He sighed and repeated himself, shakily. "I know."
Envy turned and slammed his fist into some machinery with a choked sob. He had come here to be helpful so that he could help Momoshiro stop hurting, and help Gaku get his feelings back, and this was what he got. Every single time he tried to help someone it just went wrong. It was because they were humans and he wasn't. Yukimura didn't love him because he wasn't human. Yukimura hated him because he didn't belong there. He wanted to go back home. His real home. Dropping his hand from the now useless machinery, he crouched down and picked up a box that had yet to be opened, but was a bit bent. Weren’t damaged things always misunderstood? Envy laughed and put a hand over his face before he started crying. Then he tossed the box to Gaku. "Check that one," he whispered.
Gaku looked up, caught the box and licked his lips. He opened it and… saw the clue. His mouth suddenly dry. "Thank you," he said quietly, but made no attempt to move. He wasn't sure he wanted to.
Well, at least Gaku had had the decency to thank him. Envy set the clue and box on top of crates where Gaku would be able to see it. And then he just left. Now that he'd done what he had gone there to do, he was going back to Azuma.
Gaku rubbed his eyes and reached for the clue, knowing that ... well, hoping that it would send him back. "Sorry," Gaku called after him, not knowing why but not caring.
That made Envy stop, just for a moment, and he nearly looked back, but Gaku just wasn't worth it. Liars weren't worth it. "No, you're not," he called back softly. He slipped out through the doors before giving Gaku a chance to respond.
Gaku glared, he was sick of people calling him a liar. Cursing he reached for the clue and waited for the same thing to happen, he closed his laptop and closed his eyes. This was fucked up.