stoics epicureans, integrity and bullshit
the stoics were fatalists who feared the gods and epicureans were not. all other issues between them pale into insignificance. that is also why hostile descriptions of epicureanism prevail.
i'm not in a position to be objective about it but i don't think parental lack of integrity has been the problem in having to put up with alice's bullshit in a way that mathematics does not.
its really difficult to deal appropriately with bullshit while also not wanting to crush flashes of brilliance and knowing that the usual ways people get looked up to and gain respect are in fact themselves bullshit and damaging to integrity.
its especially difficult when ones clumsy efforts lead to total freeze outs and when one has the kind of self doubts that go together with integrity, which do make it hard to ever justify imposing ones "parental" will on children unless there's something really dangerous or terribly harmful to others at stake (which i don't think there has been).
lots of things remain obscure to me but a few things about alice (rightly or wrongly) seem clear to me:
1. she has enormous potential and could either achieve great things or crash and burn (or both, perhaps periodically alternating).
2. perhaps "better" parenting could have helped avoid the curse of leading an "interesting" life. that would not have been a good thing and would not have reflected greater parental integrity or been worthy of more respect.
3. respect is over-rated, as is parenting. "no fate but what we make".
4. one can have a mixture of real integrity and real bullshit and alice is herself an example of that.
5. she does sometimes need a good spanking. this needs to be administered by friends she respects rather than parents and needs to really challenge the bullshit by tackling it with integrity that her own integrity will respect. recreational floggings are harmless and no doubt beneficial but cannot be a substitute for respected friends that really can force one to re-think instead of fearing loss of friendship.
i'm not in a position to be objective about it but i don't think parental lack of integrity has been the problem in having to put up with alice's bullshit in a way that mathematics does not.
its really difficult to deal appropriately with bullshit while also not wanting to crush flashes of brilliance and knowing that the usual ways people get looked up to and gain respect are in fact themselves bullshit and damaging to integrity.
its especially difficult when ones clumsy efforts lead to total freeze outs and when one has the kind of self doubts that go together with integrity, which do make it hard to ever justify imposing ones "parental" will on children unless there's something really dangerous or terribly harmful to others at stake (which i don't think there has been).
lots of things remain obscure to me but a few things about alice (rightly or wrongly) seem clear to me:
1. she has enormous potential and could either achieve great things or crash and burn (or both, perhaps periodically alternating).
2. perhaps "better" parenting could have helped avoid the curse of leading an "interesting" life. that would not have been a good thing and would not have reflected greater parental integrity or been worthy of more respect.
3. respect is over-rated, as is parenting. "no fate but what we make".
4. one can have a mixture of real integrity and real bullshit and alice is herself an example of that.
5. she does sometimes need a good spanking. this needs to be administered by friends she respects rather than parents and needs to really challenge the bullshit by tackling it with integrity that her own integrity will respect. recreational floggings are harmless and no doubt beneficial but cannot be a substitute for respected friends that really can force one to re-think instead of fearing loss of friendship.