He didn’t care that I was the ultimate champion and hates that I always make every game into an ultimate championship.

he looked her straight in the eyes and sighed. ‘I’ve lost track of myself ( Read more... )

i probably already told anyone who reads this, but so far i'm into ucsd and u wisc madison for phd work, and rejected from yale.  still waiting on six more apps...but i have options!

dude ( Read more... )

And in a way, a pain like that is liberating because it makes life slow down to a tired procession of moments, tied together by a focus made infinite in the withdrawal from external reality.  I don’t mean to be melodramatic, but you have to have known that place where the world has slowed down, aching almost to a stop, in the shadow of a pain or ( Read more... )

9.

the first roman candle was a revelation, ten quick balls of red and green flying straight into the wind and coming, predictably, directly back into the faces of the ten or so drunken idiots standing on the rocky shore in their shirt-sleeves.  it had hardly disappeared when the bottle rockets, even more dangerous in the wind that scoured the ( Read more... )

he was sitting in the last two-person bench in the back corner of the train.  this was always the spot with fantastic-colored, oddly-shaped stains, trash, and probably a lot more you couldn’t see.  he had his leg up in front of him, crossed so the shoe was hanging out into the aisle and his knee pressed into the back of the head rest, leaned back ( Read more... )

focus/dilate

regain senseless mindless controlling substance

numb back! cascading walls

billowing; resentment coating thick-

sticky hands (wet with coercion)

with trickery

crimson lines forever spelling mockery

mimickery and stillness

so many decisions still shake me

and I ask only for them to take me

fill me change me beat me love me
( Read more... )

he pushed his little brother into the sheets.  the rack shifted and tottered for a moment but stayed on the wall.

‘mom! mom!’

“jesus fucking Christ, stop talking.  we’re almost done…’

‘MOMMMM!  MAWWWMM!!’

the baby in the top seat in the cart started crying.

‘look, now you got everyone in Big Lots staring at us.  go look at ( Read more... )

so we’ll walk back up these steps we remember but never knew, somehow convinced that what’s waiting upstairs is worth it.  it’s a comfortable rhythm.

my toes stare back tired and I fall forward a little, catching myself on the rail, like always.  it’s worth it somehow, somehow I know.  I heave a huge breath and stare at my newly gathered feet.

the ( Read more... )