So even after all I had been through and all the support I was offering for her own mistake, I'm still tossed aside. She said she doesn't feel for me anymore. That may be true, but I know deep down there must be something she isn't saying. You don't have someone shamelessly devoted to you and then you just throw them away.. It's just not possible. ( Read more... )

So we're talking again. And acting like we're dating, even though we aren't. Honestly, that rips me apart, but it's the only way I can have her right now, so it'll have to do. She just added something else to my plate.. I swear, I don't think anyone else could handle all of these obstacles, but I manage.. Somehow. Sometimes I just close my eyes and ( Read more... )

I swear, I don't think I've ever quite poured out that much of my heart to someone. And then to find out she was sleeping with someone else (someone who didn't even care about her), it was just unbearable. I was used so she could just get all of her physical desires out of the way.. It's not the first time this has happened, but I was completely ( Read more... )

I did try fighting for her... But it wasn't enough.

So yeah, the relationship is probably at its lowest point right now. She's gradually been treating me worse and worse and instead of saying nothing as I usually do, I spoke up. There wasn't an argument, she agreed with me, she has been treating me bad. From what she says, she doesn't know why or if she'll even be able to fix it. Maybe that isn't ( Read more... )

I've been an absolute wreck lately. It seems like I have my emotions back, so I've just been angry/bitter/sad/distant.. Just all of it. I guess it comes from a long period where I just didn't feel anything, held it all back. She opened my floodgates and it's all been pouring out. The relationship itself isn't on its best terms either right now.. ( Read more... )

Things have been extremely contrasting lately. School is a breeze. It literally takes up hardly any of my thought anymore. I go in, I sit down, I do basically nothing, I go home. And no, it's not because I'm slacking or anything.. My grades are high, school has just wound down. Work isn't even work anymore. They've played around with everyone's ( Read more... )

Signs you have a great girl on your hands :

She watches Nip/Tuck with you.

She ends up liking the show a lot.

She wants to watch all the new episodes with you every Tuesday night.

Mmm. ^_^

So yeah, Saturday was the "big day". The point where I was supposed to make my big impression and see if she really who she said she was. Amazingly, she was, and much moreso. Somehow, that makes my paranoia and my fear that much more real. Let's face it, I'm no stranger to a bad relationship. I can handle them AND put a good spin on them for awhile ( Read more... )

Doo doo. Life is tolerable right now. I'm bored at school, I'm sleepy at work, whatever.. It's no big deal. I just push through all the shit so I can have my light of the day. It's kinda funny how I fall asleep with my cellphone over my heart lately, but I find it endearing. I've been more tired than normal lately though, due to the fact I end up ( Read more... )