Voicemail
"Right, so, you've reached Claudia. I'm totally not around right now. Sucks to be you. If you don't know what to do with this beeping noise, then you probably have more problems than just not being able to reach me."
*beeeeeeeep*
*beeeeeeeep*
"No, I haven't been drinking, at least not since Tuesday anyway, and I didn't see anyone at all on Wednesday, and have you been sucking exhaust fumes? I don't like you, even if my boyfriend thinks you're astral. But if that's what it takes to flatter your rancor-sized ego, don't let me stop you."
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