just_1_word | 27.8. Leave
27.8. Leave
Co-written with paramedically
[Linked to THIS]
Luke gripped his hand around his shirt collar and tie, trying to tug it away from his throat. They were too tight and it didn't help that the back of his neck was so sweaty, the fabric was plastered uncomfortably to his skin. He leaned over the sink in the bathroom, avoiding looking at his reflection in the mirror. He felt like he wanted to throw up, but he just couldn't quite get to that point to find relief. His stomach felt like it had a vice gripped around it, and between his chest and throat, it felt like a fist was choking him and trying to cut off his air supply. His hands were shaking and the sweat was pouring off him. He really wanted to blame the suit. He wasn't used to wearing suits and it felt claustrophobic. The whole guest house felt claustrophobic.
It was a wedding. His wedding. He was about to get married, right here, right now. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't link all the chaos going on around him to the fact he was supposed to be getting married. But it had all come so quick. Four months nearly to the day that he and Tab got engaged, but it felt like it had literally just happened yesterday. He felt severed from the situation; like he was watching it from afar and not really involved. Then he wondered if he maybe he was sick. Maybe it was this Swine Flu thing? He did kind of feel like he might be dying. He gripped hold of the edge of the sink, dry retching with still no relief, which could probably be account to the fact he had hardly eaten the last two days leading up to the wedding. What the hell was wrong with him?
Luke had been in the bathroom for close to half an hour now, and Andrew was worried. He couldn't even get a momentum up on the crutches to pace. He stopped in front of the en suite door and knocked. "Luke, if you don't open the door, I'll knock it down," he warned. Normally he wouldn't give two tosses if his cousin wanted to stay in the bathroom for half an hour. Hell, he wouldn't give a shit if he wanted to stay in there all week. Luke wasn't what could be called a 'loner', but he effectively usually tackled life with a solitary attitude. Which was why it was even more surreal for Andrew to be standing here as Luke's Best Man on his wedding day. If bets had been taken in their family, it would've been predicted that Andrew would've beaten Luke down the aisle, and likely that Luke wouldn't have gotten married at all.
But Andrew thought it was fantastic that Luke had found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He could still be the free spirit he was with someone at his side, and Tab seemed to be his perfect match. Only, waving the scary wedding flag in Luke's face could be a lot more psychological than just anticipating getting married. Plus, the wedding had turned out to be quite a big deal. It was an official ceremony with a lot of guests. Plus, twin wedding. That was huge. Not at all like Andrew would've anticipated Luke tie the knot when and if the time came. Aiden seemed to have the right notion there. He and Patrick avoided all this stress and nerves by just doing it. But that was Luke's forte and now he was faced with something out of his depth, Andrew was worried his cousin might be heading for a freak out, if his behaviour the last couple of weeks were anything to go by. He had been snappy, short, broody and distance - completely out of character for Luke in general.
Andrew banged on the door again. "Come on, mate," he pleaded. "The ceremony is due to start in about forty five minutes! You need to be there in about twenty!"
The words were like flicking a switch in Luke's brain and a sheer panic washed over him like a wave crashing against the shore. It almost felt like he was going to pass out and a throbbing started in his ears. He felt his way over to the bathroom door and pulled it open, shaking his head slightly. "I can't do this," he rasped, breath starting to come out in small pants. "I-I can't get married. I thought I could. I can't. It's going to ruin everything. Things are too good. This is going to ruin it all and I'll lose her. She's not going want this. She'll realise what's she's done and won't want it. He said! He said she didn't do commitment."
He shook his head, pushing past Andrew and peeling the tuxedo jacket off. His shirt was clinging to his sweaty torso and he struggled to loosen the tie next. "I don't do commitment," he added, the words coming out at a panicked speed. "I can't get married! I'm not ready. Why do we have to get married just because Riley is? The twin thing... I-I get it. I do. Hell, I think it's awesome they get to experience something like being that connected to someone. But I'm not a twin! I don't... I..." He faltered, losing his momentum as he gave the tie a firm tug and it finally came loose from his neck. "I have to get out. I can't do this!"
"Luke!" Andrew cried in shock. He had been expecting it on some level, sure, but he really hadn't expected a Lucas Jackson meltdown of this proportion. Luke was usually so cool and laid back. This was off the meltdown scale for him. Not to mention the fact he looked ill. But Andrew was a paramedic knew the signs when he saw them. "Wait, Luke! You're having a panic attack. Sit down and I'll get you a paper bag to breathe into. It'll be fine. It's just making it official, man. That's all. Nothings going to change."
Luke just shook his head again, Andrew's words just sweeping over his head and getting lost in the panic. "No, I can't," he said again and without looking back, bolted for the door. He just had to get out of there before the walls crushed him. He'd make it up to Tab later. Somehow. She had Riley, she didn't need Luke. She always seemed okay when Riley was there. She'd be fine.
Luke, on the other hand, could be a whole other story.
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,105
Co-written with paramedically
[Linked to THIS]
Luke gripped his hand around his shirt collar and tie, trying to tug it away from his throat. They were too tight and it didn't help that the back of his neck was so sweaty, the fabric was plastered uncomfortably to his skin. He leaned over the sink in the bathroom, avoiding looking at his reflection in the mirror. He felt like he wanted to throw up, but he just couldn't quite get to that point to find relief. His stomach felt like it had a vice gripped around it, and between his chest and throat, it felt like a fist was choking him and trying to cut off his air supply. His hands were shaking and the sweat was pouring off him. He really wanted to blame the suit. He wasn't used to wearing suits and it felt claustrophobic. The whole guest house felt claustrophobic.
It was a wedding. His wedding. He was about to get married, right here, right now. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't link all the chaos going on around him to the fact he was supposed to be getting married. But it had all come so quick. Four months nearly to the day that he and Tab got engaged, but it felt like it had literally just happened yesterday. He felt severed from the situation; like he was watching it from afar and not really involved. Then he wondered if he maybe he was sick. Maybe it was this Swine Flu thing? He did kind of feel like he might be dying. He gripped hold of the edge of the sink, dry retching with still no relief, which could probably be account to the fact he had hardly eaten the last two days leading up to the wedding. What the hell was wrong with him?
Luke had been in the bathroom for close to half an hour now, and Andrew was worried. He couldn't even get a momentum up on the crutches to pace. He stopped in front of the en suite door and knocked. "Luke, if you don't open the door, I'll knock it down," he warned. Normally he wouldn't give two tosses if his cousin wanted to stay in the bathroom for half an hour. Hell, he wouldn't give a shit if he wanted to stay in there all week. Luke wasn't what could be called a 'loner', but he effectively usually tackled life with a solitary attitude. Which was why it was even more surreal for Andrew to be standing here as Luke's Best Man on his wedding day. If bets had been taken in their family, it would've been predicted that Andrew would've beaten Luke down the aisle, and likely that Luke wouldn't have gotten married at all.
But Andrew thought it was fantastic that Luke had found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He could still be the free spirit he was with someone at his side, and Tab seemed to be his perfect match. Only, waving the scary wedding flag in Luke's face could be a lot more psychological than just anticipating getting married. Plus, the wedding had turned out to be quite a big deal. It was an official ceremony with a lot of guests. Plus, twin wedding. That was huge. Not at all like Andrew would've anticipated Luke tie the knot when and if the time came. Aiden seemed to have the right notion there. He and Patrick avoided all this stress and nerves by just doing it. But that was Luke's forte and now he was faced with something out of his depth, Andrew was worried his cousin might be heading for a freak out, if his behaviour the last couple of weeks were anything to go by. He had been snappy, short, broody and distance - completely out of character for Luke in general.
Andrew banged on the door again. "Come on, mate," he pleaded. "The ceremony is due to start in about forty five minutes! You need to be there in about twenty!"
The words were like flicking a switch in Luke's brain and a sheer panic washed over him like a wave crashing against the shore. It almost felt like he was going to pass out and a throbbing started in his ears. He felt his way over to the bathroom door and pulled it open, shaking his head slightly. "I can't do this," he rasped, breath starting to come out in small pants. "I-I can't get married. I thought I could. I can't. It's going to ruin everything. Things are too good. This is going to ruin it all and I'll lose her. She's not going want this. She'll realise what's she's done and won't want it. He said! He said she didn't do commitment."
He shook his head, pushing past Andrew and peeling the tuxedo jacket off. His shirt was clinging to his sweaty torso and he struggled to loosen the tie next. "I don't do commitment," he added, the words coming out at a panicked speed. "I can't get married! I'm not ready. Why do we have to get married just because Riley is? The twin thing... I-I get it. I do. Hell, I think it's awesome they get to experience something like being that connected to someone. But I'm not a twin! I don't... I..." He faltered, losing his momentum as he gave the tie a firm tug and it finally came loose from his neck. "I have to get out. I can't do this!"
"Luke!" Andrew cried in shock. He had been expecting it on some level, sure, but he really hadn't expected a Lucas Jackson meltdown of this proportion. Luke was usually so cool and laid back. This was off the meltdown scale for him. Not to mention the fact he looked ill. But Andrew was a paramedic knew the signs when he saw them. "Wait, Luke! You're having a panic attack. Sit down and I'll get you a paper bag to breathe into. It'll be fine. It's just making it official, man. That's all. Nothings going to change."
Luke just shook his head again, Andrew's words just sweeping over his head and getting lost in the panic. "No, I can't," he said again and without looking back, bolted for the door. He just had to get out of there before the walls crushed him. He'd make it up to Tab later. Somehow. She had Riley, she didn't need Luke. She always seemed okay when Riley was there. She'd be fine.
Luke, on the other hand, could be a whole other story.
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,105