Los Angeles, Sunday Evening
Angel and Logan were deep in the bowels of the Natural History Museum, looking through the new arrivals for the relic that would help their latest case.
Angel
"I don't get it," Angel said as he stared into the contents of one of the crates. "Why can't people eat regular hot dogs? Why do they have to be gourmet?"
Logan
"Hot dogs are common," Logan said. "Can't feel superior to people if you're just eating plain ol' hot dogs. So you label them gourmet and can look down at the ordinary folk again."
Angel
"Why not call them sausage?" Angel replied.
Logan
"That's for breakfast or with spaghetti," Logan said. "Not on a bun."
Angel
"You know, in my day we just had meat," Angel said. "Dead animal on a plate. No funny stuff."
Logan
"It's all in the marketing," Logan said. "Give stuff a fancy name, you can charge more."
Angel
"That's another thing," Angel said, as long as he was on the topic. "Why does everything have to cost so much? Aren't we supposed to be in a recession?"
Logan
"Yeah, that's why people charge more. They need the money."
Angel
It was at that point that Angel was tempted to say it was easier when he could just kill things. But considering who he was talking to, no way was that coming out of his mouth. He stuck with stoic instead.
Logan
Logan swung the beam of his flashlight over a couple of crates, then shoved one to the side. "Here," he said, pointing to a carton mostly hidden behind the others. "Is that the symbol we're looking for?"
Angel
Angel came over to look. "Close. Let's keep digging."
Logan
Logan sighed and kept looking. "So you know how we've got a ballroom at the Hyperion?"
Angel
"I remember not caring," Angel replied.
Logan
"Exactly! Why don't we throw more parties?" Logan asked. "Hire a band, invite some people over - bet we could get a group rate from Portalocity. We've got the space, after all."
Angel
"That's rhetorical, right?" Angel asked.
Logan
"You know, a little socialization wouldn't actually kill you," Logan said.
Angel
"I could kill me," Angel pointed out.
Logan
"Dude. Seriously. Can we try that again with more drama queen, please?"
Angel
Angel replied to that with a Look.
Logan
"One party! Bel can even come!"
Angel
"Never thought I'd hear you say that," Angel had to admit.
Logan
"Hey, if you agree to dance, I can make concessions," Logan said.
Angel
"You two have fun," Angel said, because he was conceeding no such thing.
Logan
Logan sighed. "What do I have to do to get you to dance?"
Angel
"Have me be someone else?" Angel replied. He resumed his search through the box, moving aside anything that didn't look like what they wanted.
Logan
"Besides that," Logan said. "C'mon, everyone's got a price. What do you want me to do in exchange?" He considered for a moment. "Blonde wig and a schoolgirl skirt?"
Angel
"Y - no," Angel said. A smooth surface near the bottom of the box got his attention. He started to untangle it from everything else.
Logan
Logan sat down on one of the crates and watched Angel work. "Bellboy costume. Or nun. Or priest. All this costumed fun can be yours for the low low price of one dance!"
Angel
"No." Angel stood up to face Logan. He gestured with the item he'd found. Though worn and dusty, it looked an awful lot like a lampshade. "How many times do I have to say it? I don't dance."
Logan
Logan gave the item a dubious look, then ignored it. "You didn't used to like battery-operated toys. And you didn't used to have a boyfriend. What's the point of eternal life if you're not going to live a little?" He gave Angel his most charming grin.
Angel
"Actually Spike - " Angel started to say, then dismissed it. "No. I don't dance. You keep asking what I want. I want you to stop asking. Hell, I wish you'd stake me rather than make me do it!"
The words were hyperbole, to be certain. But Angel just so happened to be holding the one thing in that room he shouldn't have been holding while making a wish. The lampshade in his hand grew hot and suddenly everything around Angel, including Logan, vanished.
It was replaced with... Logan. But younger and in different clothes, saying, "I think managers are getting fifteen percent these days."
"What?" Angel asked, having no idea what the hell had just happened.
Past Logan
"Industry joke." Logan leaned back against the nearby entertainment center, hands behind his back. The crates and dust were gone. "Does anyone actually buy all that artistic crap?"
Angel
"Artistic - " Angel took a step closer to Logan as he tried to orient himself. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Past Logan
Logan thrust his hand into the cabinet behind him and wrapped his fingers around the stake hidden there. He shook his head sadly. "And I thought you understood me," he said, then thrust the stake into the middle of Angelus's chest.
Angel
Angel barely had time to blink before his body froze, then disappeared into a cloud of dust with nothing but an echo of a scream remaining.
Back in the warehouse, Angel had collapsed onto the floor the moment the glow had started. He remained unconscious the entire time. His mind was somewhere in there, but without a breath or a heartbeat to give it away it was impossible to tell.
Past Logan
Logan stared for a moment at the dust, hardly believing it had worked. Then he kicked the dust, making it swirl up again just as it settled. "If you pull a movie monster thing on me and come back from that, I'll hunt you down and burn you to ashes," he told the dust.
He looked over at the bed. Rory. He stuck the stake in his belt, ran over to her and scooped her up in his arms. "It's okay, baby. You're going to be okay." He carried her out, heading for the clinic.
Present Logan
"Angel?" Logan asked. Not usually Angel's style of humor, plus that glowy thing... Logan jumped down from the crate he was sitting on and knelt beside the vampire. "Angel, come on." He touched his hand to Angel's cheek. "Dude, seriously. Not funny." Logan looked over at the lampshade, but the glow was gone and it just looked like another old object. "Okay, here's the deal. Wake up now and I will never, ever bother you about dancing again." Logan waited. And waited. And then, with trembling hands, he got out his phone and dialed the Hyperion. When the call connected, he didn't wait to find out who'd answered. "I need help. Now."
[OOC: Establishy. Pre-played with the marvey psycho_jackass. Rory modded with permission including the sombrero on her head. NFB, NFE, OCC=AOK!]
Angel
"I don't get it," Angel said as he stared into the contents of one of the crates. "Why can't people eat regular hot dogs? Why do they have to be gourmet?"
Logan
"Hot dogs are common," Logan said. "Can't feel superior to people if you're just eating plain ol' hot dogs. So you label them gourmet and can look down at the ordinary folk again."
Angel
"Why not call them sausage?" Angel replied.
Logan
"That's for breakfast or with spaghetti," Logan said. "Not on a bun."
Angel
"You know, in my day we just had meat," Angel said. "Dead animal on a plate. No funny stuff."
Logan
"It's all in the marketing," Logan said. "Give stuff a fancy name, you can charge more."
Angel
"That's another thing," Angel said, as long as he was on the topic. "Why does everything have to cost so much? Aren't we supposed to be in a recession?"
Logan
"Yeah, that's why people charge more. They need the money."
Angel
It was at that point that Angel was tempted to say it was easier when he could just kill things. But considering who he was talking to, no way was that coming out of his mouth. He stuck with stoic instead.
Logan
Logan swung the beam of his flashlight over a couple of crates, then shoved one to the side. "Here," he said, pointing to a carton mostly hidden behind the others. "Is that the symbol we're looking for?"
Angel
Angel came over to look. "Close. Let's keep digging."
Logan
Logan sighed and kept looking. "So you know how we've got a ballroom at the Hyperion?"
Angel
"I remember not caring," Angel replied.
Logan
"Exactly! Why don't we throw more parties?" Logan asked. "Hire a band, invite some people over - bet we could get a group rate from Portalocity. We've got the space, after all."
Angel
"That's rhetorical, right?" Angel asked.
Logan
"You know, a little socialization wouldn't actually kill you," Logan said.
Angel
"I could kill me," Angel pointed out.
Logan
"Dude. Seriously. Can we try that again with more drama queen, please?"
Angel
Angel replied to that with a Look.
Logan
"One party! Bel can even come!"
Angel
"Never thought I'd hear you say that," Angel had to admit.
Logan
"Hey, if you agree to dance, I can make concessions," Logan said.
Angel
"You two have fun," Angel said, because he was conceeding no such thing.
Logan
Logan sighed. "What do I have to do to get you to dance?"
Angel
"Have me be someone else?" Angel replied. He resumed his search through the box, moving aside anything that didn't look like what they wanted.
Logan
"Besides that," Logan said. "C'mon, everyone's got a price. What do you want me to do in exchange?" He considered for a moment. "Blonde wig and a schoolgirl skirt?"
Angel
"Y - no," Angel said. A smooth surface near the bottom of the box got his attention. He started to untangle it from everything else.
Logan
Logan sat down on one of the crates and watched Angel work. "Bellboy costume. Or nun. Or priest. All this costumed fun can be yours for the low low price of one dance!"
Angel
"No." Angel stood up to face Logan. He gestured with the item he'd found. Though worn and dusty, it looked an awful lot like a lampshade. "How many times do I have to say it? I don't dance."
Logan
Logan gave the item a dubious look, then ignored it. "You didn't used to like battery-operated toys. And you didn't used to have a boyfriend. What's the point of eternal life if you're not going to live a little?" He gave Angel his most charming grin.
Angel
"Actually Spike - " Angel started to say, then dismissed it. "No. I don't dance. You keep asking what I want. I want you to stop asking. Hell, I wish you'd stake me rather than make me do it!"
The words were hyperbole, to be certain. But Angel just so happened to be holding the one thing in that room he shouldn't have been holding while making a wish. The lampshade in his hand grew hot and suddenly everything around Angel, including Logan, vanished.
It was replaced with... Logan. But younger and in different clothes, saying, "I think managers are getting fifteen percent these days."
"What?" Angel asked, having no idea what the hell had just happened.
Past Logan
"Industry joke." Logan leaned back against the nearby entertainment center, hands behind his back. The crates and dust were gone. "Does anyone actually buy all that artistic crap?"
Angel
"Artistic - " Angel took a step closer to Logan as he tried to orient himself. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Past Logan
Logan thrust his hand into the cabinet behind him and wrapped his fingers around the stake hidden there. He shook his head sadly. "And I thought you understood me," he said, then thrust the stake into the middle of Angelus's chest.
Angel
Angel barely had time to blink before his body froze, then disappeared into a cloud of dust with nothing but an echo of a scream remaining.
Back in the warehouse, Angel had collapsed onto the floor the moment the glow had started. He remained unconscious the entire time. His mind was somewhere in there, but without a breath or a heartbeat to give it away it was impossible to tell.
Past Logan
Logan stared for a moment at the dust, hardly believing it had worked. Then he kicked the dust, making it swirl up again just as it settled. "If you pull a movie monster thing on me and come back from that, I'll hunt you down and burn you to ashes," he told the dust.
He looked over at the bed. Rory. He stuck the stake in his belt, ran over to her and scooped her up in his arms. "It's okay, baby. You're going to be okay." He carried her out, heading for the clinic.
Present Logan
"Angel?" Logan asked. Not usually Angel's style of humor, plus that glowy thing... Logan jumped down from the crate he was sitting on and knelt beside the vampire. "Angel, come on." He touched his hand to Angel's cheek. "Dude, seriously. Not funny." Logan looked over at the lampshade, but the glow was gone and it just looked like another old object. "Okay, here's the deal. Wake up now and I will never, ever bother you about dancing again." Logan waited. And waited. And then, with trembling hands, he got out his phone and dialed the Hyperion. When the call connected, he didn't wait to find out who'd answered. "I need help. Now."
[OOC: Establishy. Pre-played with the marvey psycho_jackass. Rory modded with permission including the sombrero on her head. NFB, NFE, OCC=AOK!]