I know the past week or so has been rather scary, and I do hope that everyone is faring well, but I have good news that is sure to lighten up anyone's waning enthusiasm; my newest book is ready for publication! It's a shame that it won't see distribution, of course. It could very well be my greatest piece of work yet.
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You'll have to forgive me for missing our date. I'm relieved to hear that she's all right.
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I know you'll want to make yourself useful around here, so out of the kindness of my heart, I've taken the time to come up with the perfect position for you.