--I'll cut you a good deal on therapy sessions. --Things will get better. It is always good to take a step back and assess your life (which it seems that you are doing), but make sure you look at every aspect. --And to answer your questions: Yes you do deserve happiness. You deserve multiple moments of happiness. You are evil. I know evil and evil is fun and mischievous and AWESOME!! --If you ever do decide to fly out to California, I say do it while you're still young and reckless. You can always come back to the east coast knowing that you gave it your all...on the west coast. Then go to NYC and shake it like a Polaroid picture!
I miss you Maxx. If you ever need to talk, give me a call or a text or something--I'm here if you need me.
Agh, I'm sorry you're going through this clusterfuck of bad fortune. Look, you don't deserve it. While it's easy to restructure your personal metaphysics to accommodate bad circumstance (your luck is bad, you'll never get out of this rut), I urge you-- I urge you as somebody with a mood disorder who has fallen into thinking this way several times-- please don't do this. Please hold on to hope, even if it seems thoroughly stupid to do so. If nothing else, you're a good person. You've sacrificed a lot in the past couple of years; please don't forget that any time you survive a shithole, it's an indication of strength, even though it may not feel like it right now.
And remember that there are some goofy kids in New Jersey who would do anything for you.
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--Things will get better. It is always good to take a step back and assess your life (which it seems that you are doing), but make sure you look at every aspect.
--And to answer your questions: Yes you do deserve happiness. You deserve multiple moments of happiness. You are evil. I know evil and evil is fun and mischievous and AWESOME!!
--If you ever do decide to fly out to California, I say do it while you're still young and reckless. You can always come back to the east coast knowing that you gave it your all...on the west coast. Then go to NYC and shake it like a Polaroid picture!
I miss you Maxx. If you ever need to talk, give me a call or a text or something--I'm here if you need me.
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And remember that there are some goofy kids in New Jersey who would do anything for you.
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