And here endeth another year...
It's been a very different one. It's been one when I've faced one of my greatest fears (childbirth) and found it to be both totally justified (without medical intervention Izzy and I would probably both be dead) and unjustified (it wasn't anything like I thought it would be). It's kinda funny to get past somehting that you've been scared of all your life, only to find that its aftermath is far worse than you ever suspected, and in a lot of ways worse than the main event itself. My main resolution for next year is going to be to try to get myself back in shape - not only by losing two or three stones, but also by seeing what I can do to sort out those odd post-childbirth afflictions that still bug me.
Another reason it's been different is that I've spent very little of it either in work or education - and the majority of it not looking to be in either, for the first time in about the last 30 years. In many respects I've quite liked potching around at home, but it's taught me that I am a rubbish housewife. I am also quite shocked by the effect that being out of work seems to have on my brainpower, energy and motivation. Whilst I am feeling so much better in myself, I am finding that I can't remember things and am somewhat hard of thinking. Some of that is likely to be hormonal, but I noticed I was getting that way at the end of last year, and the few months' work I did seemed to cure that for a while, so I'm hoping that'll be the case again.
The main reason it has been different is, of course, that I have been tied up caring for little Iz, first inside then out. I can't possibly describe motherhood, but it's not all hearts and flowers, nor is it all crying and shit. I suppose it's a bit of both, with some drool and toothless grins thrown in. I never thought I'd have such a vocabulary of odd vocal sounds, or that I'd actually get pleasure out of unloading the washing machine with my husband's pants on my head - but I guess all life changes have unexpected side effects. Not least among those has been a huge increase in the quality of my sleep, which is something that has plagued me all my life, and been the root cause of my inability to get out of bed of a morning. I hope this stays on when the hormones go.
So next year I look forward to trying to juggle a full time job with being a supportive wife and mother. I would be lying if I said that I didn't find the prospect rather daunting.
Another reason it's been different is that I've spent very little of it either in work or education - and the majority of it not looking to be in either, for the first time in about the last 30 years. In many respects I've quite liked potching around at home, but it's taught me that I am a rubbish housewife. I am also quite shocked by the effect that being out of work seems to have on my brainpower, energy and motivation. Whilst I am feeling so much better in myself, I am finding that I can't remember things and am somewhat hard of thinking. Some of that is likely to be hormonal, but I noticed I was getting that way at the end of last year, and the few months' work I did seemed to cure that for a while, so I'm hoping that'll be the case again.
The main reason it has been different is, of course, that I have been tied up caring for little Iz, first inside then out. I can't possibly describe motherhood, but it's not all hearts and flowers, nor is it all crying and shit. I suppose it's a bit of both, with some drool and toothless grins thrown in. I never thought I'd have such a vocabulary of odd vocal sounds, or that I'd actually get pleasure out of unloading the washing machine with my husband's pants on my head - but I guess all life changes have unexpected side effects. Not least among those has been a huge increase in the quality of my sleep, which is something that has plagued me all my life, and been the root cause of my inability to get out of bed of a morning. I hope this stays on when the hormones go.
So next year I look forward to trying to juggle a full time job with being a supportive wife and mother. I would be lying if I said that I didn't find the prospect rather daunting.