Family
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"Hi."I watched her face carefully, but it was hard to read her. Maybe I was out of practice, maybe she was just really good at hiding it - heck, maybe it was both or maybe I had never been able to really understand all the inner workings of Tara - who knew ( Read more... )
"Hi."I watched her face carefully, but it was hard to read her. Maybe I was out of practice, maybe she was just really good at hiding it - heck, maybe it was both or maybe I had never been able to really understand all the inner workings of Tara - who knew ( Read more... )
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I nodded. It was like... like a silent 'mmhmm'. Not in a bad, sarcastic way. Just in a way that wordlessly showed that there was understanding of things between us. Things like events, and people, and words she wouldn't have to tip-toe around because Willow had brought them down, like a dull edged knife that had carved its way completely through my heart.
It hurt more when it was dull, when it was just carving into you, in these raw, aching spots that it created. Rather than just piercing you, and being over.
"You know.""I, um, I know." I confirmed, adding concrete to all of that understanding between us, and solidifying it into something impenetrable to anything dull, or less than incredibly sharp ( ... )
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I sighed, half smiling, though my eyes sparkled with a depth of sadness I never could feel. I laughed, just a small, ghost of a laugh.
"Oh, no, that's definitely what I thought too." The ghost of my laugh whispered away into the trace of a smile, which then faded to the grim reality of how it was exactly what I thought it was. "But I, um, I think we both know that it's exactly what I think it is." I said more seriously. "What I know it is." I corrected myself.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is... things have been hard without you. The effect you had on everyone was... important. Not just Willow, not just Dawn. ere isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what you said to me. When my Mom..."
I smiled, just a little, nodding once more, remembering those first few moments in which Buffy and I had connected.
"Was it sudden?" She asked, out of the blue ( ... )
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My eyes widened in surprise at her, since very rarely had I seen Tara this angry, but my mouth just opened and answered all of her questions. "I don't know! No, we didn't do this on purpose, it just happened so fast! First with Angel and losing his soul forever and..." Oh God. I was going to start crying soon just remembering how everything had started, how we'd gotten to this precarious place that if we all weren't careful, we'd lose.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, just as I heard Tara answer back to me, "I'm sorry." I laughed a little, nodding, before I added, "Jinx." Off her look, I tried to explain, "Y'know, jinx? You say the same thing at once so... you say... ok, nevermind." It didn't matter. I'm not exactly sure why I always felt this need to joke during the times when everything felt like it was pressing down on my heart, bruising and hurting me ( ... )
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"I don't know how anymore," I sobbed before she pulled me into an embrace that was far too familiar. My mind wandered back to when she'd stroked my hair as I'd cried in her lap about Spike, about me, about everything I'd felt was wrong... I didn't deserve forgiveness then, and I was positive I shouldn't get it now. But her hug...
This was why Tara was back, I thought briefly as I clung to her.
"Unless the Gentleman are back, and hearts are being ripped out, no one's going to take the light from us."
I laughed into the silk of her hair and nodded as she pulled away from me. I was so drained at this point... How fair was it of me to ask this much of Tara when I had come to her trying to make sure she was ok ( ... )
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Oh.
Oh, that's right. There's the truth spell. My rapid fire questions maybe hadn't been asked at the best of times, considering rapid fire questions such as those are usually more statement, than question, but the provision was that we were to answer whatever it was we were asked, so questions we considered statements, didn't count.
It's not enough to live a life of good intentions. You have to be who and what you say you are, what those intentions intend for.
I looked down for a moment, letting my hair fall into my face as I soaked in the words of Angel losing his soul. Forever.
I used to know what that word meant.
Now I felt Buffy knew all too well just what it meant.
I heard her apology as my own was released out into the open space between us, followed by her laughter, and a quick; "Jinx."I was still so caught on losing the concept of forever, or gaining it, depending on where you standing, I ( ... )
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