Sammy's Mom (Dean/Castiel, AU, R)
Title: Sammy's Mom
Author: nox_wicked
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Dean/Castiel, Sam
Spoilers: None
Warnings: References to prostitution
Word Count: 3917
Summary: Castiel would totally be into his best friend Sam, if only he wasn't in love with his older brother.
Notes: Based on the song Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne. Has been sitting in my computer for ages, figured I might as well post it. Unbeta'd, all mistakes and crimes on grammar are my own.
“So my brother finally got his stupid pool installed. You wanna come over later and try it out?” Sam asks during their first period English class.
“Yes.”
Sam's eyebrows quirk up at his best friend's quick response. Normally when it comes to swimming, Castiel is a total bitch. He never goes in open water past his knees, and only sits in the hot tub when they go to the pool. The few times Dean came with them, he'd compared Cas to a drowned bird. Of course, he only said that after he'd “accidentally” pushed him into the deep end when Castiel's back was turned, but that was beside the point.
“Really? You're serious?”
Castiel chose that moment to glance out the window, trying to hide his flushed face that Sam couldn't help but find adorable. “Dean's wanted to get one for a long time hasn't he? He's been working really hard lately, and I figure I should see what it looks like. That's all.”
It has nothing to do with seeing Dean Winchester walking around in the sun shirtless, water droplets running down his gorgeous, toned body. Not at all.
--
So Castiel has a bit of a problem occurring in his life right about now.
Despite his parents' best efforts to keep him a good little innocent christian boy, he knows a thing or two about the sins of the flesh and other temptations. Really, they'd just been fighting for a lost cause, what with the invention of the internet and all it's pornographic glory. So yes, he knows he prefers to see two men getting off on each other instead of having to stare at a gross pink taco for ten minutes. He also knows about the many different kinks, memorized all the cheesy porno-movie cliche's, and most definitely knows all about cougars. Not that he's into MILFS and DILFS or anything, but in a way they're the cause of his grief at the moment.
Castiel met Sam Winchester in middle school. Reluctant to be pelted in the face by dodge balls, they'd both snuck out of gym class and crossed paths in the library of all places. Castiel had never met a fellow geek such as himself, and Sam was the new kid at the time. One conversation about the latest Hellboy comic, and they were inseparable.
As time went on and the two of them became closer, Castiel found out a little more about his new best friend. His father worked at a garage on the other side of town and was almost never home, his mother had died when he was six months old, and so the task of raising Sam was left to his older brother Dean.
Fine. A bit of a sad story, but Castiel figured that by Sam's description, Dean was overall an alright guy. Though, if he was anything like Castiel's older brother Michael, he was probably a bit of an anal bitch.
He couldn't have been more wrong, unfortunately. Dean was, and still is, everything Sam built him up to be, and then some. He's funny, he's kind, he cooks, he cleans, and he works his hardest to give Sam everything he asks for to keep him happy. He's also got perfect teeth, brilliant green eyes, and abs that you could grate cheese off of.
Castiel was smitten at first sight.
Sam doesn't know, even after five years of hanging out with Cas, and that's the way Castiel would like to keep it. Somehow, telling his best friend that he's in love with his surrogate mother/father/older brother doesn't seem like it would go over well. Which leads to the other problem Castiel has now.
Sam's apparently nursing his own little crush. On Cas.
Awkward? As Dean would say: No shit, Sherlock.
--
The Winchester's pool is not very big. Then again, neither is their backyard. It's hot outside though, and any relief from the heat is more than welcome.
Castiel is a little apprehensive at first, and not because Sam turns ten shades of red when Cas takes off his shirt. Dean is nowhere in sight, and if Castiel is correct, which he always is, Dean was only supposed to have one client today. Noticing the other boy looking around, Sam shrugs as his blush starts to subside. “Dean's business trip is probably just running a bit late. Don't worry, he said he'd bring pizza on his way back. If he hasn't like. Eaten it all by the time he gets here anyways.”
Sam laughs nervously and starts to babble about the latest Sanctuary episode, but Cas sees through it. Fact is, Castiel knows what Dean really does on his “business trips”. About a year ago, Castiel had the awful luck of drawing the short straw from the pile when his brothers couldn't decide who was going to have to go buy Anna's tampons that month. So he'd been forced to run downtown late at night to find the unmentionables, only to come out and see the man of his dreams standing on a corner a little ways away.
Castiel's first instinct was to go talk to him. But then he figured Dean would ask why he was out so late. Which led back to the tampons, and really, he didn't imagine anything remotely seductive coming from that particular conversation.
And as Castiel had thought about that, a Rolls Royce, an honest to god Rolls freaking Royce pulled up next to Dean who, Castiel happily noted, was wearing the really tight pair of jeans that made his ass look just fantastic. The window of the car had rolled down, Dean had walked over and talked with whoever was inside, and Castiel figured the person probably needed directions or something.
Until Dean shoved a wad of green bills in his pocket and hopped in the car. The super fancy car that was staying in it's parked position.
Well. That was...something, then.
Castiel doesn't remember how long he stood in front of the corner store. Only that after what felt like a Millennia, Dean finally emerged, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and adjusting his pants.
Castiel was not off-put by this. If anything, it just told him Dean was clearly experienced. That's all.
And if worst came to worst, if Castiel started to save up now, by the time he turned twenty five, maybe he'd have enough for ten minutes of Dean's time.
--
True to his word, Dean brings pizza when he gets home half an hour later. He announces his presence by throwing an inflatable ball at Sam's head. Sam then proceeds to throw it back, miss, and have to run over to the neighbours yard to retrieve it.
Castiel pulls himself out of the water after him, and freezes as Dean whistles at him. “Damn, Cas! You're really growing up there, aren't you?” he laughs as he walks over and hands him a towel. “Seriously dude, what happened to the scrawny nerd who used to go make out with Sam in the library all those years ago?”
Castiel doesn't know what to say to that. And because this is life, of course Sam would choose that moment to come back with the ball, his face beet red again. He yells at Dean, throws the ball at him again, and gives Castiel a shy apologetic look. Castiel's not dumb though, he can see the bit of wishful thinking behind his best friend's eyes too. After all, he sees it every time he himself looks in a mirror.
--
He has a big test in third period Science. Because Dean is awesome and would do anything for Sam, and by extension, Castiel, he's graciously written the answers on Castiel's arm. They're all wrong, but the tingling feeling left on his skin is worth it.
After school, he meets up with Sam only to discover that his arm is in a sling. Sam grumbles and brushes his bangs out of his eyes with his good hand. “Gym class. I uh...went to spike the volleyball and ran into the net post instead.”
Castiel tries not to laugh. A snort escapes him anyways. Sam just grumbles and starts off towards his house, looking dejected. “It's not funny man...I was gonna surprise Dean and clean the house for him today. I was even gonna mow the freaking lawn, since god knows he sucks at it.”
Castiel offering to mow the Winchester's lawn has absolutely nothing to do with sucking up to Dean, no siree.
--
It turns out the lawn mower kept in the rotting supply shack was made by cavemen, it's so old. Castiel is outside way longer than he thought he'd be. Sam comes out when he's about halfway done to tell him Dean is sleeping on the couch, no doubt exhausted from his all-nighter business meeting. If Cas cuts the grass a little harsher than before, it's only because he'd really like to do a good job, honest.
Things go well, other than Sam being a jerk and sitting in the shade while Castiel works. To be fair though, Sam brought him some iced tea awhile ago, so he only gets the minimal of dirty looks.
Castiel finishes about an hour later, and is completely and utterly exhausted. He wipes his forehead and turns just as the the backdoor opens and out walks Dean, fresh from a shower, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. A cigarette dangles from his full lips and he grins in Castiel's direction when he notices him standing next to the mower. Cas feels his heart skip at least two beats and decides that the hard labour was totally worth seeing the elder Winchester at this moment.
Dean takes a drag and glances over to the far right of the yard.
“You missed a spot over there.”
--
When Castiel goes home later that night, Gabriel takes one look at him and scoffs. “You're hopeless, you know that?”
Castiel shrugs and heads to the fridge to grab some toaster streudal. Gabriel grabs a cookie and slides into one of the kitchen chairs. “Winchesters. Seriously, what's the big deal?” Lucifer glares at him from the opposite side of the table. Gabriel rolls his eyes and takes a bite. “Don't give me that look you pedo.”
Lucifer flushes and reaches over to steal Gabriel's cookie. They start to fight, blood gets spilled, and in the background Castiel empties the dishwasher, wishing Sam would take interest in Castiel's brother instead of himself. God knows Lucifer would be happy.
--
Sam texts Castiel the next morning to inform him that 1) Dean was a big dumb jerk, and 2) He wouldn't be in school today because he was being forced to go see a doctor about his arm.
So naturally, they get their final exam outline today. And because he's such a keener, Cas makes sure to take two sets of notes (taking care not to doodle pictures of himself and Dean boinking in the corners on Sam's set), and starts walking towards the Winchester house when the final bell of the day rings.
No one answers the door when he rings the bell, but both Sam and Dean have told him that if the door is open, to come in anyways. Normally Castiel can't do it, he can just picture Michael smacking him on the head for even thinking about it, but today he figures he can just set Sam's notes on the coffee table and leave.
He's about two steps in the hall when he hears Dean's voice cracking. Curious, Castiel silently tiptoes towards the kitchen and peers around the corner to see what's happening to the love of his life.
Dean is sitting at the table, cordless phone pressed to his ear, tension raising his shoulders. His back is to Castiel, and he remains oblivious to his audience as he speaks.
“No...no, you can't do this to him, to us! ...Well what the hell am I supposed to say? No... no, I'm sick of it! You're gone for months at a time, you never tell us where you're going, when you'll be back - oh don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, I called the garage six weeks ago and they told me you just up and quit, so just drop the act Dad!”
The more Dean talks, his grip like iron on the phone, the more Castiel thinks he shouldn't be listening to this. Clearly this is something personal, and he should just turn around, walk back out the door and-
“Wh...what...? What do you mean you're not...? Dad...?” Dean's anger is suddenly gone. Cas can't see his face, but by the sound of it, he thinks Dean might be fighting his hardest not to cry. His feet are frozen in place.
“No...no, please Dad... I can't do this by myself, I'm having a hard enough time as it is, you can't...” Dean pauses for a few moments, before choking back a sob. “You can't just go...What about Sammy's birthday? Huh? You promised him you'd be there, you can't hurt him like that, not again...Dad, please I...Dad? Dad?!”
Castiel has never seen this side of Dean. For as long as he's known him, Dean has always been a strong, confident, positive person to be around. Even when Cas sees him give himself over to complete strangers, Dean has never allowed himself to look weak. But this? This is Dean at his absolute worst. Castiel watches as he chokes out a swear and throws the phone at the wall, knocking down one of the pictures hanging from it.
Dean sets his head in his hands and there's no mistaking the glimpse of tears that are sliding down his cheeks. His whole body is shaking in it's attempt to contain the immense grief threatening to burst free.
Dean looks broken.
Hesitantly, Castiel takes a step forward. The floorboard creaks under his weight, and quick as a flash, Dean sits up and turns to face him. Upon seeing Castiel and not Sam, his face relaxes slightly, and he tries to casually wipe away the wetness from his face.
“Uh...hey Cas...s-sorry, Sam's still at the doctor's, but he should be home soon.” Dean clears his throat and stares up at him through red-rimmed eyes. “You hungry or something? 'Cause I think we have lots of KD or noodles or something that I can put on real fast and...”
Castiel just reaches over and places a hand on Dean's shoulder, not saying a word. Dean's eyes close, and the full bottom lip that Castiel has fantasized so many times about kissing, starts to tremble slightly. Slowly, Dean reaches up and places his own hand over Castiel's.
“...My dad isn't coming back. He told me he sent me some papers for me to legally become Sam's guardian but...” Dean goes quiet again and squeezes Castiel's hand.
“...I don't know what to do...” he murmurs softly. “I try my best to be good for Sam but... we were all supposed to be a family...how can I do that all by myself?” he sniffs and finally opens his gorgeous green eyes to stare up into Castiel's. Cas stares back into them and says nothing for a moment, trying to ignore the lurch in his stomach.
“...I think you're the best possible family Sam could ever have.” Cas finally whispers, hoping it's the right thing to say. “...You're a great man, Dean Winchester. Your brother loves you more than you could ever know...” Castiel takes a deep breath, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.
“...And so do I.”
For a few terrifying seconds, Dean says nothing. But then he slowly rises from his chair, letting go of Castiel's hand in the process. Before Cas can start apologizing profusely, Dean shoots him a small smile and the next thing he knows, a pair of strong arms are around him, pulling him close. As Dean hugs him, Castiel thinks his heart is literally going to burst from his chest and start singing Celine Dion.
It's probably too much to ask for a kiss now after getting this close, but Castiel still can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment when Dean releases him and smiles again. “Thanks Cas. For what it's worth...I'm really happy you're in our lives.” A hand claps him on the shoulder and Dean looks so beautiful as the light from the window lands on his skin.
“Never change.”
--
Castiel wraps a hand around himself that night, remembering the feel of how close he was to Dean Winchester's body. He feels kind of bad for thinking of Dean like this, when Dean was feeling so low, but he can't help it. And deep down, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, Dean might start to see him in a slightly different light from now on.
He finishes with a small cry, and Dean's face on the back of his eyelids. Then Gabriel pounds on the wall and orders him to “go to sleep now for fuck's sake”.
--
Sam doesn't want to talk about it. Castiel didn't think he would. While Dean gets emotional, he also has enough self control to keep up any kind of appearance he wants. But Sam? When Sam is mad, everyone knows it. He's got a lot of repressed anger, which is why Castiel thinks he does so well in contact sports like Hockey and Football.
For a week, nobody wants to go to gym class for fear of being on the opposite team as Sam Winchester.
Castiel has to be careful when talking to Sam now too. He never brings up family, he doesn't talk to Sam about his upcoming birthday, and he definitely doesn't mention fathers of any kind. He walks on eggshells for about a month before Sam finally talks to him about his feelings on the whole situation.
After that, things pretty much go back to normal.
--
It's the third week of summer vacation when Castiel sees a moving van in front of the Winchester house.
He throws up on the sidewalk.
--
“It's not for another two weeks Cas...the van was just taking some of the bulkier stuff out early.” Sam tells him as they sit in his bedroom. Castiel doesn't say anything, and instead opts to stare at the small television Sam's got set up on his desk. The Fifth Element is playing, Bruce Willis is kicking major alien ass single-handed, and all Cas can think of is that Dean loves this part.
He's not sure what to say. He's about to lose his best friend in the entire world, along with his lifelong crush. He feels like utter shit.
When he looks over at Sam, he realizes the same thing is happening to him as well.
They turn back to the TV for about half an hour before Castiel opens his mouth again.
“...We should get WoW. I hear it's an online sensation.”
Sam reaches up to wipe at his eye for 'dust' and whispers under his breath.
“Never change Cas.”
--
From what Sam told him, Castiel understands that one of Dean's wealthiest clients offered him a position for his business halfway across the country. At first Cas thinks that it's some kind of Pretty Woman thing, but Sam (after giving up on the idea of Castiel being ignorant) tells him that it's actually a legitimate job, one requiring Dean to keep his pants on at all times.
Dean tells him that it's not a fun job, and he's not going to be making as much as he's used to, but it's something he needs to take. At first Castiel thinks that maybe Dean's got a crush on his so-called ex-client, but when he realizes that it's White Cadillac (Dean calls him Mr. D), who is probably as old as time itself, he relaxes a bit, and thinks that maybe this is Dean's way of trying to get a fresh start on his life.
His heart still feels like it's breaking in half when he stands on the porch of the Winchester's empty house. Sam said he's doing one last walkthrough of the house, but Castiel thinks he's probably writing a message on the corner of a wall, or something equally as cheesy.
Dean sits down beside him, the last of his stuff now in the trunk of the Impala.
“So...” he says, staring off across the street.
“So.” Castiel replies, hating the awkwardness of the whole situation.
Dean smiles again. “You love me huh?”
Blood rushes to Castiel's cheeks, but he doesn't look down. What's the point of denying anything anymore?
“I do.”
“Hmm.” Dean nods his head. A sprinkler system is going off a few houses down, and a dog barks somewhere in the distance, but between the two of them, it's completely silent. It's not as awkward as it should be though. In fact, Castiel feels almost liberated at the idea of not having to hide anything from Dean anymore.
“Since I first met you actually.” he says, breaking the comfortable silence.
“That so?”
Castiel nods and continues to watch the sprinkler. He can't help but wish that this strange exchange of words wasn't going to be the last memory he has of Dean, but before he can dwell on that too long, a hand sneaks it's way over to cup his cheek. He turns towards Dean to ask what he's doing, but before he can, his lips are being covered by Dean's.
The shock leaves his mouth open, and Dean takes advantage of the fact to slip his tongue in between Castiel's parted lips to push at his own. When he realizes what's happening, Castiel feels lighter than air, and quickly tries to get with the program, moving his lips against Dean's and trying not to melt when the older man curls his tongue in this spectacular way. Gaining a little burst of courage, Cas takes Dean's lower lip and sucks at it, trying to contain his glee when Dean lets out a soft moan.
And then just as Castiel is about to explode from sheer joy, Dean pulls away from him. He chuckles and licks his full, reddened lips, his thumb wiping away a small string of saliva from the corner of Castiel's mouth. Cas feels himself blush again, and stares up to meet Dean's eyes.
“Sorry you had to wait so long then” he murmurs before pressing his lips softly to Castiel's forehead. “You're kind of young right now though. But tell you what: A few years down the road, if you're still interested? Let me know.”
Castiel stares at him and can't look away, even when the sound of Sam inside the house starts getting closer. Dean continues to just smile at him as he stands up.
“I'll see you later Cas.”
Sam walks out onto the porch, and Dean winks at him one last time before they're both gone. And as Castiel stands in the middle of the road, eyes following the beautiful black car that's shrinking before him, he smiles back and whispers into the wind, knowing deep down that Dean hears him.
“...See you later Dean.”
--
(This was intended as a oneshot, but I'm not sure now if I should write a sequel or not...)
Author: nox_wicked
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Dean/Castiel, Sam
Spoilers: None
Warnings: References to prostitution
Word Count: 3917
Summary: Castiel would totally be into his best friend Sam, if only he wasn't in love with his older brother.
Notes: Based on the song Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne. Has been sitting in my computer for ages, figured I might as well post it. Unbeta'd, all mistakes and crimes on grammar are my own.
“So my brother finally got his stupid pool installed. You wanna come over later and try it out?” Sam asks during their first period English class.
“Yes.”
Sam's eyebrows quirk up at his best friend's quick response. Normally when it comes to swimming, Castiel is a total bitch. He never goes in open water past his knees, and only sits in the hot tub when they go to the pool. The few times Dean came with them, he'd compared Cas to a drowned bird. Of course, he only said that after he'd “accidentally” pushed him into the deep end when Castiel's back was turned, but that was beside the point.
“Really? You're serious?”
Castiel chose that moment to glance out the window, trying to hide his flushed face that Sam couldn't help but find adorable. “Dean's wanted to get one for a long time hasn't he? He's been working really hard lately, and I figure I should see what it looks like. That's all.”
It has nothing to do with seeing Dean Winchester walking around in the sun shirtless, water droplets running down his gorgeous, toned body. Not at all.
--
So Castiel has a bit of a problem occurring in his life right about now.
Despite his parents' best efforts to keep him a good little innocent christian boy, he knows a thing or two about the sins of the flesh and other temptations. Really, they'd just been fighting for a lost cause, what with the invention of the internet and all it's pornographic glory. So yes, he knows he prefers to see two men getting off on each other instead of having to stare at a gross pink taco for ten minutes. He also knows about the many different kinks, memorized all the cheesy porno-movie cliche's, and most definitely knows all about cougars. Not that he's into MILFS and DILFS or anything, but in a way they're the cause of his grief at the moment.
Castiel met Sam Winchester in middle school. Reluctant to be pelted in the face by dodge balls, they'd both snuck out of gym class and crossed paths in the library of all places. Castiel had never met a fellow geek such as himself, and Sam was the new kid at the time. One conversation about the latest Hellboy comic, and they were inseparable.
As time went on and the two of them became closer, Castiel found out a little more about his new best friend. His father worked at a garage on the other side of town and was almost never home, his mother had died when he was six months old, and so the task of raising Sam was left to his older brother Dean.
Fine. A bit of a sad story, but Castiel figured that by Sam's description, Dean was overall an alright guy. Though, if he was anything like Castiel's older brother Michael, he was probably a bit of an anal bitch.
He couldn't have been more wrong, unfortunately. Dean was, and still is, everything Sam built him up to be, and then some. He's funny, he's kind, he cooks, he cleans, and he works his hardest to give Sam everything he asks for to keep him happy. He's also got perfect teeth, brilliant green eyes, and abs that you could grate cheese off of.
Castiel was smitten at first sight.
Sam doesn't know, even after five years of hanging out with Cas, and that's the way Castiel would like to keep it. Somehow, telling his best friend that he's in love with his surrogate mother/father/older brother doesn't seem like it would go over well. Which leads to the other problem Castiel has now.
Sam's apparently nursing his own little crush. On Cas.
Awkward? As Dean would say: No shit, Sherlock.
--
The Winchester's pool is not very big. Then again, neither is their backyard. It's hot outside though, and any relief from the heat is more than welcome.
Castiel is a little apprehensive at first, and not because Sam turns ten shades of red when Cas takes off his shirt. Dean is nowhere in sight, and if Castiel is correct, which he always is, Dean was only supposed to have one client today. Noticing the other boy looking around, Sam shrugs as his blush starts to subside. “Dean's business trip is probably just running a bit late. Don't worry, he said he'd bring pizza on his way back. If he hasn't like. Eaten it all by the time he gets here anyways.”
Sam laughs nervously and starts to babble about the latest Sanctuary episode, but Cas sees through it. Fact is, Castiel knows what Dean really does on his “business trips”. About a year ago, Castiel had the awful luck of drawing the short straw from the pile when his brothers couldn't decide who was going to have to go buy Anna's tampons that month. So he'd been forced to run downtown late at night to find the unmentionables, only to come out and see the man of his dreams standing on a corner a little ways away.
Castiel's first instinct was to go talk to him. But then he figured Dean would ask why he was out so late. Which led back to the tampons, and really, he didn't imagine anything remotely seductive coming from that particular conversation.
And as Castiel had thought about that, a Rolls Royce, an honest to god Rolls freaking Royce pulled up next to Dean who, Castiel happily noted, was wearing the really tight pair of jeans that made his ass look just fantastic. The window of the car had rolled down, Dean had walked over and talked with whoever was inside, and Castiel figured the person probably needed directions or something.
Until Dean shoved a wad of green bills in his pocket and hopped in the car. The super fancy car that was staying in it's parked position.
Well. That was...something, then.
Castiel doesn't remember how long he stood in front of the corner store. Only that after what felt like a Millennia, Dean finally emerged, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and adjusting his pants.
Castiel was not off-put by this. If anything, it just told him Dean was clearly experienced. That's all.
And if worst came to worst, if Castiel started to save up now, by the time he turned twenty five, maybe he'd have enough for ten minutes of Dean's time.
--
True to his word, Dean brings pizza when he gets home half an hour later. He announces his presence by throwing an inflatable ball at Sam's head. Sam then proceeds to throw it back, miss, and have to run over to the neighbours yard to retrieve it.
Castiel pulls himself out of the water after him, and freezes as Dean whistles at him. “Damn, Cas! You're really growing up there, aren't you?” he laughs as he walks over and hands him a towel. “Seriously dude, what happened to the scrawny nerd who used to go make out with Sam in the library all those years ago?”
Castiel doesn't know what to say to that. And because this is life, of course Sam would choose that moment to come back with the ball, his face beet red again. He yells at Dean, throws the ball at him again, and gives Castiel a shy apologetic look. Castiel's not dumb though, he can see the bit of wishful thinking behind his best friend's eyes too. After all, he sees it every time he himself looks in a mirror.
--
He has a big test in third period Science. Because Dean is awesome and would do anything for Sam, and by extension, Castiel, he's graciously written the answers on Castiel's arm. They're all wrong, but the tingling feeling left on his skin is worth it.
After school, he meets up with Sam only to discover that his arm is in a sling. Sam grumbles and brushes his bangs out of his eyes with his good hand. “Gym class. I uh...went to spike the volleyball and ran into the net post instead.”
Castiel tries not to laugh. A snort escapes him anyways. Sam just grumbles and starts off towards his house, looking dejected. “It's not funny man...I was gonna surprise Dean and clean the house for him today. I was even gonna mow the freaking lawn, since god knows he sucks at it.”
Castiel offering to mow the Winchester's lawn has absolutely nothing to do with sucking up to Dean, no siree.
--
It turns out the lawn mower kept in the rotting supply shack was made by cavemen, it's so old. Castiel is outside way longer than he thought he'd be. Sam comes out when he's about halfway done to tell him Dean is sleeping on the couch, no doubt exhausted from his all-nighter business meeting. If Cas cuts the grass a little harsher than before, it's only because he'd really like to do a good job, honest.
Things go well, other than Sam being a jerk and sitting in the shade while Castiel works. To be fair though, Sam brought him some iced tea awhile ago, so he only gets the minimal of dirty looks.
Castiel finishes about an hour later, and is completely and utterly exhausted. He wipes his forehead and turns just as the the backdoor opens and out walks Dean, fresh from a shower, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. A cigarette dangles from his full lips and he grins in Castiel's direction when he notices him standing next to the mower. Cas feels his heart skip at least two beats and decides that the hard labour was totally worth seeing the elder Winchester at this moment.
Dean takes a drag and glances over to the far right of the yard.
“You missed a spot over there.”
--
When Castiel goes home later that night, Gabriel takes one look at him and scoffs. “You're hopeless, you know that?”
Castiel shrugs and heads to the fridge to grab some toaster streudal. Gabriel grabs a cookie and slides into one of the kitchen chairs. “Winchesters. Seriously, what's the big deal?” Lucifer glares at him from the opposite side of the table. Gabriel rolls his eyes and takes a bite. “Don't give me that look you pedo.”
Lucifer flushes and reaches over to steal Gabriel's cookie. They start to fight, blood gets spilled, and in the background Castiel empties the dishwasher, wishing Sam would take interest in Castiel's brother instead of himself. God knows Lucifer would be happy.
--
Sam texts Castiel the next morning to inform him that 1) Dean was a big dumb jerk, and 2) He wouldn't be in school today because he was being forced to go see a doctor about his arm.
So naturally, they get their final exam outline today. And because he's such a keener, Cas makes sure to take two sets of notes (taking care not to doodle pictures of himself and Dean boinking in the corners on Sam's set), and starts walking towards the Winchester house when the final bell of the day rings.
No one answers the door when he rings the bell, but both Sam and Dean have told him that if the door is open, to come in anyways. Normally Castiel can't do it, he can just picture Michael smacking him on the head for even thinking about it, but today he figures he can just set Sam's notes on the coffee table and leave.
He's about two steps in the hall when he hears Dean's voice cracking. Curious, Castiel silently tiptoes towards the kitchen and peers around the corner to see what's happening to the love of his life.
Dean is sitting at the table, cordless phone pressed to his ear, tension raising his shoulders. His back is to Castiel, and he remains oblivious to his audience as he speaks.
“No...no, you can't do this to him, to us! ...Well what the hell am I supposed to say? No... no, I'm sick of it! You're gone for months at a time, you never tell us where you're going, when you'll be back - oh don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, I called the garage six weeks ago and they told me you just up and quit, so just drop the act Dad!”
The more Dean talks, his grip like iron on the phone, the more Castiel thinks he shouldn't be listening to this. Clearly this is something personal, and he should just turn around, walk back out the door and-
“Wh...what...? What do you mean you're not...? Dad...?” Dean's anger is suddenly gone. Cas can't see his face, but by the sound of it, he thinks Dean might be fighting his hardest not to cry. His feet are frozen in place.
“No...no, please Dad... I can't do this by myself, I'm having a hard enough time as it is, you can't...” Dean pauses for a few moments, before choking back a sob. “You can't just go...What about Sammy's birthday? Huh? You promised him you'd be there, you can't hurt him like that, not again...Dad, please I...Dad? Dad?!”
Castiel has never seen this side of Dean. For as long as he's known him, Dean has always been a strong, confident, positive person to be around. Even when Cas sees him give himself over to complete strangers, Dean has never allowed himself to look weak. But this? This is Dean at his absolute worst. Castiel watches as he chokes out a swear and throws the phone at the wall, knocking down one of the pictures hanging from it.
Dean sets his head in his hands and there's no mistaking the glimpse of tears that are sliding down his cheeks. His whole body is shaking in it's attempt to contain the immense grief threatening to burst free.
Dean looks broken.
Hesitantly, Castiel takes a step forward. The floorboard creaks under his weight, and quick as a flash, Dean sits up and turns to face him. Upon seeing Castiel and not Sam, his face relaxes slightly, and he tries to casually wipe away the wetness from his face.
“Uh...hey Cas...s-sorry, Sam's still at the doctor's, but he should be home soon.” Dean clears his throat and stares up at him through red-rimmed eyes. “You hungry or something? 'Cause I think we have lots of KD or noodles or something that I can put on real fast and...”
Castiel just reaches over and places a hand on Dean's shoulder, not saying a word. Dean's eyes close, and the full bottom lip that Castiel has fantasized so many times about kissing, starts to tremble slightly. Slowly, Dean reaches up and places his own hand over Castiel's.
“...My dad isn't coming back. He told me he sent me some papers for me to legally become Sam's guardian but...” Dean goes quiet again and squeezes Castiel's hand.
“...I don't know what to do...” he murmurs softly. “I try my best to be good for Sam but... we were all supposed to be a family...how can I do that all by myself?” he sniffs and finally opens his gorgeous green eyes to stare up into Castiel's. Cas stares back into them and says nothing for a moment, trying to ignore the lurch in his stomach.
“...I think you're the best possible family Sam could ever have.” Cas finally whispers, hoping it's the right thing to say. “...You're a great man, Dean Winchester. Your brother loves you more than you could ever know...” Castiel takes a deep breath, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.
“...And so do I.”
For a few terrifying seconds, Dean says nothing. But then he slowly rises from his chair, letting go of Castiel's hand in the process. Before Cas can start apologizing profusely, Dean shoots him a small smile and the next thing he knows, a pair of strong arms are around him, pulling him close. As Dean hugs him, Castiel thinks his heart is literally going to burst from his chest and start singing Celine Dion.
It's probably too much to ask for a kiss now after getting this close, but Castiel still can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment when Dean releases him and smiles again. “Thanks Cas. For what it's worth...I'm really happy you're in our lives.” A hand claps him on the shoulder and Dean looks so beautiful as the light from the window lands on his skin.
“Never change.”
--
Castiel wraps a hand around himself that night, remembering the feel of how close he was to Dean Winchester's body. He feels kind of bad for thinking of Dean like this, when Dean was feeling so low, but he can't help it. And deep down, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, Dean might start to see him in a slightly different light from now on.
He finishes with a small cry, and Dean's face on the back of his eyelids. Then Gabriel pounds on the wall and orders him to “go to sleep now for fuck's sake”.
--
Sam doesn't want to talk about it. Castiel didn't think he would. While Dean gets emotional, he also has enough self control to keep up any kind of appearance he wants. But Sam? When Sam is mad, everyone knows it. He's got a lot of repressed anger, which is why Castiel thinks he does so well in contact sports like Hockey and Football.
For a week, nobody wants to go to gym class for fear of being on the opposite team as Sam Winchester.
Castiel has to be careful when talking to Sam now too. He never brings up family, he doesn't talk to Sam about his upcoming birthday, and he definitely doesn't mention fathers of any kind. He walks on eggshells for about a month before Sam finally talks to him about his feelings on the whole situation.
After that, things pretty much go back to normal.
--
It's the third week of summer vacation when Castiel sees a moving van in front of the Winchester house.
He throws up on the sidewalk.
--
“It's not for another two weeks Cas...the van was just taking some of the bulkier stuff out early.” Sam tells him as they sit in his bedroom. Castiel doesn't say anything, and instead opts to stare at the small television Sam's got set up on his desk. The Fifth Element is playing, Bruce Willis is kicking major alien ass single-handed, and all Cas can think of is that Dean loves this part.
He's not sure what to say. He's about to lose his best friend in the entire world, along with his lifelong crush. He feels like utter shit.
When he looks over at Sam, he realizes the same thing is happening to him as well.
They turn back to the TV for about half an hour before Castiel opens his mouth again.
“...We should get WoW. I hear it's an online sensation.”
Sam reaches up to wipe at his eye for 'dust' and whispers under his breath.
“Never change Cas.”
--
From what Sam told him, Castiel understands that one of Dean's wealthiest clients offered him a position for his business halfway across the country. At first Cas thinks that it's some kind of Pretty Woman thing, but Sam (after giving up on the idea of Castiel being ignorant) tells him that it's actually a legitimate job, one requiring Dean to keep his pants on at all times.
Dean tells him that it's not a fun job, and he's not going to be making as much as he's used to, but it's something he needs to take. At first Castiel thinks that maybe Dean's got a crush on his so-called ex-client, but when he realizes that it's White Cadillac (Dean calls him Mr. D), who is probably as old as time itself, he relaxes a bit, and thinks that maybe this is Dean's way of trying to get a fresh start on his life.
His heart still feels like it's breaking in half when he stands on the porch of the Winchester's empty house. Sam said he's doing one last walkthrough of the house, but Castiel thinks he's probably writing a message on the corner of a wall, or something equally as cheesy.
Dean sits down beside him, the last of his stuff now in the trunk of the Impala.
“So...” he says, staring off across the street.
“So.” Castiel replies, hating the awkwardness of the whole situation.
Dean smiles again. “You love me huh?”
Blood rushes to Castiel's cheeks, but he doesn't look down. What's the point of denying anything anymore?
“I do.”
“Hmm.” Dean nods his head. A sprinkler system is going off a few houses down, and a dog barks somewhere in the distance, but between the two of them, it's completely silent. It's not as awkward as it should be though. In fact, Castiel feels almost liberated at the idea of not having to hide anything from Dean anymore.
“Since I first met you actually.” he says, breaking the comfortable silence.
“That so?”
Castiel nods and continues to watch the sprinkler. He can't help but wish that this strange exchange of words wasn't going to be the last memory he has of Dean, but before he can dwell on that too long, a hand sneaks it's way over to cup his cheek. He turns towards Dean to ask what he's doing, but before he can, his lips are being covered by Dean's.
The shock leaves his mouth open, and Dean takes advantage of the fact to slip his tongue in between Castiel's parted lips to push at his own. When he realizes what's happening, Castiel feels lighter than air, and quickly tries to get with the program, moving his lips against Dean's and trying not to melt when the older man curls his tongue in this spectacular way. Gaining a little burst of courage, Cas takes Dean's lower lip and sucks at it, trying to contain his glee when Dean lets out a soft moan.
And then just as Castiel is about to explode from sheer joy, Dean pulls away from him. He chuckles and licks his full, reddened lips, his thumb wiping away a small string of saliva from the corner of Castiel's mouth. Cas feels himself blush again, and stares up to meet Dean's eyes.
“Sorry you had to wait so long then” he murmurs before pressing his lips softly to Castiel's forehead. “You're kind of young right now though. But tell you what: A few years down the road, if you're still interested? Let me know.”
Castiel stares at him and can't look away, even when the sound of Sam inside the house starts getting closer. Dean continues to just smile at him as he stands up.
“I'll see you later Cas.”
Sam walks out onto the porch, and Dean winks at him one last time before they're both gone. And as Castiel stands in the middle of the road, eyes following the beautiful black car that's shrinking before him, he smiles back and whispers into the wind, knowing deep down that Dean hears him.
“...See you later Dean.”
--
(This was intended as a oneshot, but I'm not sure now if I should write a sequel or not...)