[fanxing] go drown the colors of our minds

[noxiouscherries]

title: go drown the colors of our minds
pairing: yifan/uixing
rating: pg-13
word count: ~10,600

notes: originally written for xingxingss for sncj_santa. title from lorde's million dollar bills. also, this is a lot more gen/crack than angst /o\



There are people you instantly like, people you instantly hate. Sometimes, though, there's someone who's just okay.

It's a Monday and like every day at seven in the morning, Yifan's trudging to the practice room. He wipes his eyes furiously, trying to get rid of the drowsiness that clouds his mind, makes him prone to tripping over his feet. It doesn't work, of course, but aside from the cctv cameras, there's no witness to his fumbling, his mumbled curses as he struggles to stand up. He shoots a glance behind him, and when he finds no one there, he lets out a breath in relief.

Yifan brushes dirt off his shirt and continues to the practice room. He's more alert now, forcing himself to focus on the choreography he learned yesterday. He decided to study the new set of vocabulary words for Mandarin last night, and he fell asleep before he could practice the routine. He frowns, a crease forming between his eyebrows in worry. His weakest area is dance--it won't really help if he always avoids it, making up excuses and putting it off until he forgets about practicing, until he's so tired that he can tell himself lie down and sleep, Yifan, you deserve it, right? He never deserves it, really, and he always feels guilty once he wakes up.

He notices his mind flying and curses under his breath. He starts over, his hands moving along to the choreography as he runs it through in his head. He's humming the song, uncaring as his voice echoes throughout the hallway. The only sound besides that is his shoes against the tiles on the floor, the squeak of rubber against ceramic. He doesn't stop, not even when he's sauntering into the studio. There are only a handful of trainees there and even though Yifan knows every single one of them, not even one word is exchanged. That's how they are, see, because trainees come and go. Everyone's competition and succeeding is all that matters. Everyone pretty much ignores one another, and the only exception ever is a friendship that's been going on since childhood, even before getting into the company.

Yifan doesn't have friends like that. He comes from a different country. His Korean is a pinch from understandable at best and he prefers memorization, going by the book, rather than practicing the language in real life. He has enough of that from conversing with the teachers and the pretty girl who mans the cashier in the convenience store he frequents. No, Yifan's day consists of waking up, sitting through endless lessons, trying to remember to eat once he's finally outside, taking a breath of fresh air, and practicing and studying at home until he has no other choice but to submit to his drooping eyelids.

He has no room for friends, he tells himself. Not when he's nowhere near the top, nowhere near being the ideal trainee, nowhere near reaching his dreams. And ultimately, that's why he doesn't pay attention to the new guy sitting quietly in the corner, staring at everyone, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity and raw determination. No, Yifan ignores him, because he's just another trainee, part of the background. In a few months he could be kicked out and there'd be no reason for Yifan to remember him, no reason for him to matter.

The thing is, that there's always an off chance that person finds a way to sneak his way into your heart and take you by surprise.

The day Yifan finally gets chosen for the project group, well, he's not in a very good mood. It's raining when he leaves his apartment and really, he should've been less surprised it when a speeding car splashes him with water while he waits for the light to turn green. He almost misses the bus and fuck, he actually forgets his umbrella when he gets off a few blocks away from the company building. So he arrives at the studio in a foul mood, dripping water all over the place. It doesn't exactly help when he sees all the trainees lined up in front of the mirror, postures rigid and the shoulders tense.

It's the day they've all been waiting for, they find out. It isn't as exciting as Yifan thought it would be. Instead, it makes him feel jittery, makes his heartbeats go awry, makes him want to run around and scream because what if. What if he doesn't get in? What will he do then? Go back to Canada with his years wasted in tow, for him to be reminded of his failure? He can't have that. He doesn't want that.

So when the instructor calls his name and asks him to go to the corner of the room with the other accepted trainees, it takes everything in him to keep his reaction to himself. His cry of relief is trapped in his throat, and his eyes sting from the tears Yifan refuses to let out. Everything is a blur from then. His mind is blank as the instructor briefs them about the project group, about what's expected of them, about how much harder their training will be. He remembers being dismissed, and he remembers the hugs that follow.

What surprises Yifan is that instead of the cold yet familiar indifference from before, everything is warm and soft and heartfelt. And then he realizes, there's no need to worry about competition now. This is the time to bond, the time to get to know each other because, come on, they're gonna spend the next five to seven years living together, performing together, achieving their dreams together. So they go out for dinner and thankfully, Junmyeon pays for everything. They get along well, and even though no one can call it a friendship yet, it's a good start.

That night, he talks to Yixing for the first time, and it isn't really a big deal. Yixing doesn't leave much of an impression. He's mild-mannered and polite, and after amicable small talk, they part ways, Yifan turning to Junmyeon and Yixing to Luhan. Plenty of time to find something in common, Yifan tells himself, and the thought comforts him.

Well, it definitely takes Yifan by surprise when Yixing sneaks into his heart. Then again, he really should have seen it coming because there are tons of reasons why it could've happened.

Number one: they spend a lot of time together, doing things that they love.

It's ten o' clock in the evening on a free night. Luhan and Jongdae are plotting against the members of K. Minseok and Zitao are watching korean dramas online. Yixing and Yifan, however, are splayed out on the latter's bed, staring at a notebook with their eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay, I give up," Yifan mutters grudgingly. "Tonight is not our night."

"Hey, come on. Don't say that." Yixing frowns. "We've come up with four lines."

"I don't think repeating one line four times counts." Yifan closes the notebook and gently pries away Yixing's fingers from the pencil he's holding, "Let's just do something else, yeah?"

"You know I'll just end up joining Luhan and Jongdae." There's a glint of mischief in Yixing's eyes, making Yifan shudder. "Maybe it isn't such a bad idea."

"Or we could get ourselves a midnight snack."

Yixing scrunches his nose in thought. "Too early for a midnight snack."

"Um, pre-midnight snack?" Yifan tries.

Yixing makes a show of thinking about it before a smile takes over his features as he nods. "Are we going to cook or are we going outside?"

"Well we can't cook because if we do then you're going to be the only one standing in front of the stove and I'll be sitting in a chair, bored to death." Yixing nods solemnly. Definitely not a home-cooked pre-midnight snack. "What about a burger?"

Yixing pouts. "But pizza."

"But," Yifan sniffs, his head hanging low, "fries."

"You want Mcdonald's, don't you?" Yixing asks, eyes narrowed.

"Yixing, think of the fries and the nuggets and the fries." Yifan's eyes are wide as he all but pulls his best game face on. And yes, a game face for him is what people usually call a puppy dog face. It usually doesn't work on people. Both Junmyeon and Luhan have punched him in the face after seeing it, but Yixing has always indulged him. "Think of the happy meals."

Yixing huffs, crossing his arms, but Yifan persists until his shoulders sags. "Fine. I'll go and ask the others if they want anything. You're paying for everything."

"But--"

"No buts," Yixing tuts. "You're paying and that's final."

Yifan narrows his eyes in distaste but he concedes. "Just this time."

"Sure," Yixing says, and Yifan's just about to believe him when he snorts, which translates to as if. It's far from a promise but Yifan lets it pass. He watches Yixing walk out the room with a small, fond smile on his face. It's okay, he tells himself. He can always ask Junmyeon to pay everything back anyway.

Yifan gets dressed, making sure to bring an extra jacket since Yixing's bound to forget his. He shoots Junmyeon a quick text demanding, for when they meet again, a drink and stories of how the members of K are so much worse than his kids.

"Yixing, I'm done," he yells, heading to the living room. Minseok and Zitao are on the sofa, cuddling in front of the television.

"What are you watching?" he says, sitting on the arm of the couch. He spots a familiar face and it clicks in his mind. "Oh, is that Boys Over Flowers? You're still watching that?"

Zitao ignores him, mostly, too busy staring wide-eyed at Jandi and Junpyo fighting on screen. Meanwhile, Minseok glares at him. "It's a good drama."

"Really," Yifan says, rolling his eyes.

Minseok sticks his tongue out. Maturity at its finest, Yifan thinks to himself. "Zitao likes it."

And that, of course, explains it. Before Yifan could think of a comeback, though, Yixing bounds into the room, making a beeline for him.

"C'mon, Yifan! I'm starving," he says, wrapping a hand around Yifan's arm and pulling towards the door. "And you two," he says over his shoulder, peering at Minseok, "you better behave."

"Don't forget your keys."

Yixing looks expectantly at Yifan, who's grinning smugly. "You've got them, right?"

"Yep," Yifan says. "Wait, do you have the list of what we're going to buy?"

Yixing pats at his pockets. He takes out a piece of paper and, after inspection, hands it to Yifan. "Yep. Here, you should probably take it. Cash?"

"Check," Yifan says, taking the list and tucking it into his wallet. "Okay, we're ready to go."

Yixing smiles warmly at him, and Yifan blanks out, lets him lead the way out.

After only five minutes in line and another five engaging the cashier girl in conversation, trying to help her stay awake in the late hour, Yixing and Yifan have a total of four paperbags in hand. Besides everyone's usual, Minseok ordered extra fries for Zitao, who's probably crying (discreetly, he thinks, even though he gets all red in the face right when he starts sobbing) right now. Luhan and Jongdae ordered four servings of spaghetti. Yifan wanted to take half off the list, insisting that they're only going to use them as brain food to fuel their prank planning, but Yixing only tutted at him, telling him that he isn't being very fair. Yifan buys him a hot fudge sundae as an apology. Yixing eats it happily as they walk back home.

"Try to dye our hair?"

"Your hair. You don't like it when people touch your hair," Yixing corrects, chuckling. "And no, our stylists will kill them."

"Not the usual humiliation on national television either," Yifan says, scrunching his nose in thought. "Oh, what about that puppy they've been dropping hints about."

"That's," Yixing pauses, considering it, "actually plausible."

There's silence for a while, where they try to think of more possible schemes. Yifan glances at Yixing, whose nose and cheeks are dusted by a dark shade of pink. He's shivering, Yifan realizes, and he's doing a pretty good job of hiding it. Yifan sighs, shaking his head, and takes shoves the jacket he brought to Yixing.

Yixing looks like he's about to protest but Yifan glares at him. "Thanks," he says, taking it.

"I shouldn't have bought you that," Yifan says, eyeing Yixing's ice cream distastefully. "Apple pie would've been better."

Yixing rolls his eyes. "I'm not gonna get sick just because of this sundae."

"So stubborn. Good thing I'm here to take care of you."

"Because you're such a boy scout." Yixing laughs. "Don't worry, Prince Charming, your efforts are not in vain."

"Stop it," Yifan says, bumping his side against Yixing's shoulder. "But I'll consider that as a thank you. So you're welcome, princess."

"It is a thank you. And how sensible of you not to call me a damsel in distress," Yixing teases.

"Well princes should be charming, shouldn't they?"

Yixing eyes light up, and Yifan can tell that it's an idea that has got him bristling in excitement. He nearly drops his spoon when he whirls around, facing Yifan. "I have an idea for the song," he says, and he looks so happy, looks so psyched that Yifan loses interest in everything but what he has to say.

"We're only two blocks away from the dorm," Yifan says, and the thrill he's feeling, the thrill that shoots up his spine and spreads up to the tips of his fingers, it seeps into his voice. "Do you need to take down your ideas or can you wait until we get there?"

"I can wait," Yixing reassures him, but despite that, they start running. Yixing takes two of the bags and they run. The night is chilly but they don't notice, especially not when they're working hard, trying to dodge other people, trying to overtake each other. When they arrive in front of their door, they're both panting, out of breath, and yet they can't put a stop to their laughter. It's a good thing they didn't buy any drinks, or else they would've spilled all over the streets long ago.

Yifan pushes Yixing to their room while he rushes to the kitchen. He takes their food and lets the others know that they're back. He pretends not to notice when Minseok and Zitao eye him wearily and mumble about him being too jumpy. (also, when Luhan and Jongdae stare at him like he's their prey) He tries his best to make it as quick as possible so when the kids are finally gathered in the kitchen, Yixing's only halfway through the song.

"How's it going?" Yifan asks.

"I'm stuck. One word, Yifan, I can't think of one word." Yixing sounds exasperated, so much that Yifan doesn't think twice about helping him.

"Let me have a look," he murmurs, peering over Yixing's shoulder. It's in Korean, he realizes. "No wonder you're stuck. Scoot over."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Yixing says, his cheeks turning pink.

Yifan chuckles. "Well good thing Prince Charming is here." And, no, he does not puff up when he says that. Well, maybe.

"Please," Yixing rolls his eyes but Yifan can hear the amusement hidden in his voice, "You won't be Prince Charming unless you help me finish this song tonight."

Yifan spends the rest of the night and part of the next morning proving his worth.

The interviewer asks them about their talents, their hobbies, what they do to pass their time when they're not on the stage, performing. Yifan answers lyric writing. Yixing answers composing. The interviewer tells them they're made for each other. The comment takes them by surprise, and they share a look of poorly hidden bewilderment. Yifan finds himself nodding in reply, because there is some truth to it. He and Yixing--they work well together. They help each other out and their ideas mix together so nicely that they never have much trouble when they write songs.

So yes, Yifan's not sure if he could go as far as saying they were born to be a match, but he knows that he enjoys working with Yixing. That's enough for now.

Number two: Yixing puts up with his shit.

They're on an airplane, flying to China, and Yifan has nothing better to do than play with a stuffed alpaca. And yes, he knows what an alpaca is, no thanks to Luhan's alpaca phase. See, Luhan has phases. When they first met, he was in his otaku phase. After that, he went through a marshmallow phase. Two months ago, it was a smurfs phase. He gets so obsessed with his current object of interest that by the seventh day of the phase, the other members are already hoping for everything to just stop please let Luhan see reason please please please stop.

They were just about to debut when Luhan had his alpaca phase. They were stressed, because of many things, really. They were homesick, nervous, anxious, and they were only a pinch of madness away from exploding. Of course, Luhan took that as enough reason to organize an alpaca marathon for them. It got so bad that they--the managers, actually--had to step in and call the one and only, Lee Sooman. Because only when the managers showed them a video of Lee Sooman doing a one-man intervention for Luhan, only when Yixing cried and demanded that Luhan change for the better, that's the only time they were able to put a stop to the phases.

That doesn't mean that a relapse isn't possible. So instead of acting like a responsible leader, he shoves the stuffed alpaca in Luhan's face just for his amusement.

"Isn't he cute," he says, voice sickeningly sweet. "A fan gave him to me."

"I know." Even when Luhan is glaring, his hands twitch minutely towards the stuffed toy. "And what makes you so sure it's a boy?"

"He's wearing a pirate hat. He looks like a boy. He's a boy," he deadpans. "Wanna touch him?"

"Just because he's a pirate or because he looks like a boy, doesn't mean he's a boy. How very narrow-minded of you." Luhan scoots away from him, suspicious. "You're not going to let me touch him anyway."

"Ha! You said him. He's definitely a boy." Yifan leans back on his seat, smug. "And no, you're not allowed to touch my baby."

Luhan looks like he wants to say something but he closes his mouth in the end. Instead, he turns away from Yifan, towards the window, mumbling what did I get myself into and no one here is sane anymore. He ignores Yifan, and when he falls asleep, the leader huffs and looks for other people to grace with his stuffed alpaca's prescence. But wait, Yifan thinks, no baby of his should be nameless. The other members, and also the fans, need a name they can cry and yell along with cute stop the cute. (and/or Yifan that lucky bastard)

And thus begins Ace the alpaca's first adventure.

Zitao is an easy target. He takes one look at Ace and decides that they need to be bros. Also, he declares that bros need to be side by side or, if possible, engaged in an embrace 24/7. Yifan sort of regrets his decision then, but it's satisfying to see someone else coo over Ace. He watches as Zitao fluffs his blanket for Ace to rest on, and winces when the dreaded iPad is taken out.

See, this iPad is Zitao's lifeline. He can't go anywhere without it. All his favorite dramas and movies are there, including some that he hasn't watched before. Notable files in there are Sleepless in Seattle and Stairway to Heaven. It also has three playlists--one for when Zitao's feeling sleepy, the second for when he's feeling all gloomy and desolate, and the third for when he's feeling like it's a rainbows and sparkles sort of day.

Everyone has suffered the Wrath of the iPad, and the only one who has ever come out of it unscathed is Minseok. Yifan likes to think it's because he's the eldest in the group and because of that, he has some sort of wisdom they don't, but really, it's just because Minseok likes Zitao too much. Friendship and brotherly relationships only go so far when it comes to being forced to watch something they don't want to. Since Ace and Zitao are only bros, Yifan doesn't think the alpaca would appreciate the iPad.

"Uh, hey, what's the rush, Taozi? We just got in the air," he says, gulping nervously. His laughter is forced but either Zitao doesn't notice or he doesn't care. "Are you sure you wanna watch something right now?"

"But Ace wants to." Zitao's smile reaches his eyes, turns them into thin crescents. He turns to Ace and frames the alpaca's head with his hands. "Don't you? Of course you do."

Yifan grimaces because, come on, if anyone would know what Ace wants, it'd be the baby daddy. And who's the baby daddy? It's him, Wu Yifan, thank you very much. "Yeah, do you really think Ace should watch," Yifan peers at the title of the file Zitao's about to open, "The Notebook? I mean, it isn't really for children."

"Oh. Oh. You're right." Now there's a fleck of worry in Zitao's eyes. He glances at Ace, ashamed, and quickly presses back on his iPad. "Um, I've got Hannah Montana."

"I... don't like the guy there?"

Zitao glares at Yifan, as if to say how could you not like him? but he stands by his answer, hoping Zitao won't push anymore. Unfortunately, the Wrath of the iPad doesn't stop after two suggestions. "Oh, I've got The Last Song."

Yifan raises an eyebrow at this. "Do you have anything that doesn't have Miley Cyrus in it?"

"Okay, I think this is it. Harry Potter."

"Which movie?"

"Sorcerer's Stone."

"Nah. Isn't there a troll there?"

"Oh, come on!"

This goes on for ten minutes. Yifan never loses hope that Zitao will tire of the argument but eventually he finds something that no one can say no to. That's how he finds himself watching Despicable Me for the sixth time since its release. (it's probably Zitao's twentieth, no kidding) He enjoys it, yes, but when the movie ends, he doesn't waste any time. He takes the iPad, opens Titanic, pushes it to Zitao's capable hands, and runs for his life with Ace tucked under his arm.

Minseok and Jongdae are sitting together, which only makes Yifan's life easier. They're talking about Korea, as they always do whenever they get the chance to be separated from the rest of the group. It's thoughtful, really, since the Chinese members never understand all the references they make. (except when it comes to jeju island because everyone knows jeju island)

When Yifan all but jumps on their laps with Ace in hand, they're stunned into silence, and Yifan doesn't make it any better when he says, "Meet Ace. And it's okay, you can be his uncles."

They don't break out in a fit of giggles. They don't reach out for Ace, eyes wide with wonder. No, they look at Yifan, partly confused but mostly incredulous. They share a look that Yifan narrows his eyes at, and then Minseok says, "That's... cute, Yifan."

"He. He's cute. Ace is a boy," Yifan says." Do you want to hold him?"

"No," Jongdae snaps, after which Minseok laughs awkwardly and says, "We were gonna go to sleep so, um, maybe next time?"

There's a sharp intake of breath and of course it's Yifan thinking but how can you resist this cute little baby. He huffs in indignance and saunters off, but not before fixing the pair with a glare. "Your loss."

Minseok and Jongdae enjoy some peace and quiet, and they don't regret it.

Yifan's last victim is Yixing. The latter is reading a book, bobbing his head along to a song that's blasting from his headphones. Yifan plops down on the seat beside him before poking him lightly in the ribs, not enough to hurt but enough to get his attention.

Yixing notices Ace immediately. He smiles warmly, reaching out to pet the stuffed alpaca. "Oh, what do you have here?"

"Do you like him? His name is Ace."

"He's so cute, A fan gave him to you?" Yixing takes Ace in his arms, looking at the toy with plain, unadultered joy. He hugs the stuffed toy so tightly that his eyes are squeezed shut in the process. "I like him."

"Yep." Yifan regards Yixing with slight amusement and a warmth that blossoms in his chest. "Isn't he the best thing that's happened to the world?"

Yixing laughs, but Yifan knows he doesn't mean any offense. "Yes."

Yixing sets Ace down between them. Then, he takes off his headphones and replaces it with earphones. He offers Yifan one earpiece, saying, "Wanna listen?"

Yifan takes it, and they stay that way for the rest of the flight.

Yifan's holding Ace in one arm, and he just knows the fans will be cooing over the stuffed alpaca in no time. Luhan doesn't agree, apparently.

"You look like an idiot," he says, a huge grin on his face. "Also, alpacas are so three months ago."

Yifan's just about to reply when Yixing wedges his way between them. He pats Ace on the head, looks at Yifan with an amused smile, and there's no mistaking the support in his eyes. Yifan swallows his retort, and shoots Luhan a smirk instead because, hey, he's not above making Luhan pay for that comment.

Number three: at the same time, Yixing doesn't take his shit.

Remember Luhan saying that alpacas are so three months ago? Yeah, well, Yifan decides to get revenge for that. He spends weeks planning it, and he doesn't even ask for help from Jongdae, prankster extraordinaire. They're on another flight when he finally executes it. Yixing and Luhan are sitting together, while he's with Jongdae. He's worried, at first, because Jongdae tends to be jumpy and chatty whenever they're travelling, but today he seems tired. Jongdae barely says anything more than don't even think about waking me up before he's snoring softly against his bright orange neck pillow.

That means three things for Yifan. One: he has no seatmate to entertain him for the rest of the flight. Two: he has no seatmate to play nanny for the rest of the flight. This leads to number three: Plan Avenge Ace and The Alpacas is now ready to commence.

And that's how Yifan ends up bribing Minseok with a complete set of Indiana Jones DVDs, as well as a month's worth of his favorite brand of banana milk. He accepts, of course, without much suspicion. So now Yifan's sitting beside Luhan who looks sorry to see Minseok leave.

"So," Luhan starts, "what do you want?"

"Oh, nothing," Yifan says casually, his elbow atop the armrest as he leans towards Luhan. "Jongdae was snoring too loudly."

Luhan glares at him. "No. No, you're planning something."

"What makes you say that?"

"Have you forgotten that I'm Jongdae's consultant? I know every trick in the book. I'm the real mastermind here, Yifan, and you don't scare me."

Yifan's eyes narrow in suspicion. "You're exaggerating."

"I am." Luhan shrugs. "But it doesn't make what I said less true. What are you planning, Yifan?"

"Do you really wanna know?"

Luhan nods slowly, and his wariness only makes Yifan smile. He reaches for his carry-on bag and places it on his lap. He asks again, "Really, really sure?"

"Yes," Luhan snaps. "Just get on with it."

Yifan takes out his laptop, notices Luhan squirming in his seat, and snorts. He makes sure to make the wait as agonizingly slow as possible until finally, he opens the folder he made just for this occasion.

"Behold," he says, amused, taunting, "the panda commercial."

It's the viral panda cheese commercial that they couldn't get out of their heads months ago when Luhan had his panda phase. They spent week after week with earphones on, listening to music, scouring the internet for something, anything to distract them from that panda commercial. Luhan never helped, really, especially when he'd plug his laptop to their TV and play the video nonstop from 11 in the evening to 3 in the morning. No one could stop him, no one could bribe him to leave the living room, no one could threaten to destroy his soccer posters or throw away his hard drive, and all because he couldn't be torn away from the television.

It was the worst phase of them all. For all the other members knew, he could've been praying novenas and offering tributes to that panda. It took a while before they were able to put a stop to it. Zitao and Minseok had to lure him in with panda onesies, food porn, and pole dancing. It wasn't a very nice thing to see (for one week, Yixing hid behind Yifan whenever Zitao or Minseok were in the same room as they were) but it solved their problem.

Out of all Luhan's phases, Yifan decided that this is the one that will most likely cause a relapse, and that's what he's trying to do now. Luhan never did like repeating a phase. To borrow a rule from his favorite feel-good show, new is always better. But this is different, or at least, Yifan hopes it is. If not, then he's gonna have to find another way to get his revenge.

"No," Luhan says, closing his eyes and turning away. "I am not going to watch that."

"If that's what you want." Yifan sighs. "This panda is so cute, though. And violent."

Yifan makes a show of ignoring Luhan. he continues watching the video, again and again until finally, Luhan's resolve breaks. He reaches, nay, dives for the laptop and stares almost hungrily at the screen. He coos and looks like he's about to cry and god seeing Luhan in a phase has never felt so satisfying. Yifan sits back, relaxes, and lets smugness take over his features, sneak its way into his smile and his eyes.

Only, he isn't smug for long.

It isn't the manager who gets mad. In fact, their manager doesn't seem to care anymore. He's dealt with their childishness for so long that he's begun to take on a devil may care attitude that can accurately be described as as long as you don't kill yourselves, we're good. He's kinda like their body guard, now that Yifan thinks about it, since he's only strict when it comes to their privacy and their safety. All the managing stuff? Yifan helps with that, and he's stricter about it. He coordinates with the staff and makes sure everything is in place.

His role doesn't come with herding the members together and making sure they're all getting along well, though. That duty falls on Yixing's shoulders, and it makes his life a living hell. So when he discovers Luhan drooling over the laptop, Yifan pales, realizing fuck, he is in so much trouble.

"Luhan, why are you watching that?" he asks through clenched teeth. There's a crease between his eyebrows that's barely there, but Yifan knows he's angry. Luhan doesn't seem like he's going to respond any time soon so Yifan finds himself under Yixing's scrutiny. He gulps, tries not to wiggle nervously, fails tremendously because just shit.

"Yifan, what did you do?"

"Um. Nothing?" Yifan tries, but who does he think he's trying to fool, anyway.

"Let's try this again. Tell me what you did and why you did it," and Yifan can hear the or else unsaid, "because this is not good. At all."

Yixing looks like he wants to rip the world apart with his bare hands, so really, Yifan thinks it's justified when he squeaks. "Uh. Well. I don't know?"

"Get out of that seat right now," Yixing says, tone seething. And so, Yifan does. He runs away across the aisle, to the seat beside Zitao.

He peeks almost guiltily at Yixing trying to persuade Luhan out of watching the video, huffs weakly when Yixing eventually manages to bribe Luhan away with a lollipop and a lullaby. He sees Yixing heave a sigh of relief when Luhan falls asleep, but Yixing never looks at him, never spares him a glance.

It makes him feel more guilty more than it should, and so Yifan sulks.

They're outside now, and even though Yifan's standing right beside Yixing, they still aren't talking. It isn't because of the lack of trying. Yifan has been trying to start a conversation ever since they got off the plane.

"Yixing," he tries again, a small and hesitant smile on his face. "Hey, I said I'm sorry."

"Yeah? Well, sorry doesn't cut it," Yixing snaps. In a way, Yifan's relieved he's finally acknowledged him, but that feeling goes away quickly, replaced by more guilt. "You're not the one who has to deal with the fall out."

"I'll fix it." When Yixing glares at him, he amends his offer. "Okay, I'll try to fix it."

Yixing sighs. "I'd rather you not. I'm better at handling these things anyway. Just don't do it again, okay?"

Yifan lights up immediately. "Okay. Definitely. Don't worry."

"Don't overdo it," Yixing says, rolling his eyes. The corners of his mouth twitch upward, and Yifan can tell he's supressing a smile. It might not be a hug of forgiveness or an outright acceptance of his apology, but it's definitely something. Besides, he should be thankful Yixing didn't kick his ass instead. Or throw him to the wolves. And by wolves, he means Zitao and his iPad.

He stays by the sidlines as Yixing wraps an arm around a wide-eyed Luhan and leads him across the airport. He's going to give them space for now, but he knows he has to make it up somehow. Not today, he decides, but he'll find a way.

Number four: whenever he's with Yixing, there's never, ever a dull moment.

Yifan and Yixing have this ongoing inside joke that no one else gets. They'd whisper about it, and it doesn't matter if they're in public or if they're just lounging around the dorm. See, they both have this thing about bucket hats. It's not an aversion per se but they think bucket hats are silly, and whenever they see one, they tend to dissolve into a flurry of giggles. Bucket hats make people look eternally like tourists, they reason. Bucket hats make people look like Indiana Jones wannabes, they say. Bucket hats were made by Satan himself, (or maybe his spawn, if it's just a minor plan to spread evil throughout the world) they insist.

They make a game out of pointing out strangers in bucket hats. They tally the scores up and at the end of every year, the winner gets a prize of his choice. Yixing has won two years in a row, and in turn, got himself some really expensive headphones and a set of designer harem pants. If the game weren't so fun, Yifan would've called it quits because of how much he's spent so far. He's determined to win this year though and right now, he's leading by one measly point.

So besides enjoying the sights and rides at Disneyland (where his dreams will come true, they promise) he keeps his eyes open for tourists or fans wearing bucket hats. And god, it is a minefield.

"There," Yixing says, pointing out an elderly woman standing by a trash can.

"Oh, one of the kids is wearing a bucket hat too," Yifan notes. "So I guess I'm leading again."

"Hey that is totally my point," Yixing whines, slapping his arm lightly.

"No it isn't. You said there and you didn't specify which person. I assumed you only meant the old lady. I pointed out the kid. You get one point, I get another."

"Yeah, no. Saying there is like calling dibs on everyone in the area specified."

"Well isn't that a bit unfair? So I can point to that hot dog stand right there and get two points to myself?"

"Dibs!"

"Hey, I saw them first!"

"You saw them first. I called dibs first."

"You're being unfair."

"You're being a wuss."

Yifan gasps. "Don't say bad word, Yixing! There are kids two meters away from you."

"Well, you are being a w--."

"Don't you dare."

Yixing dares.

"Wuss."

"Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?" Luhan quips from behind them, just as Jongdae says, "Wash your mouth," the spitting image of scandalized.

"Gege said a bad word," Zitao whimpers. He reaches for Minseok's hand and squeezes.

"Don't worry. Yifan's got him all riled up. Your gege isn't usually a bad person," Minseok says, tone reassuring.

Yixing rolls his eyes and Yifan chuckles, chuckles all the way to Pirates of the Carribean, actually.

"The kids agree with me," he says, smug. They're piling into the boat ride one by one. There are no bucket hats here, thank god, so all there is for Yifan to do (besides actually appreciating the ride) is to tease Yixing, who snorts.

"They don't agree. Not about the dibs thing, anyway." Yixing bumps his shoulder against Yifan's, his lips quirked into a smile. "Tell you what, I'll agree to pointing out specifics, but I get both the kid and the lady from before."

Yifan considers him for a moment. "I accept."

They shake on it, and that's when the competition really starts.

After that, they go to the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage. (Zitao insisted. Okay, no, he demanded.) There's only one bucket hat there. It's on a gangly boy who looks like he wants nothing more but to drop everything and flee. Yifan understands. He doesn't really like kids. In fact, he bristles at the mere mention of children, so to be surrounded by them while screams of where is Nemo, I want Dory and mommy, I made poopoo echo in a tiny, enclosed space--yeah, not a good time.

"We should never have agreed to this," says Yixing, leaning close to whisper in his ear.

"I don't know, the others seem to be enjoying it." Yifan shrugs, smirking.

"Zitao's enjoying it, you mean. Minseok's just being supportive. Luhan and Jongdae look like they're about to fall asleep."

"Are you enjoying it?"

Yixing rolls his eyes. "Do you think I'm enjoying it?"

"Hm." Yixing punches his arm, hard. "Okay, okay. Wanna ditch them later?"

"Isn't that a bit irresponsible of you?" Yixing teases.

"I'm not the one who considers it his responsibility to make sure the kids are behaving themselves," Yifan sing-songs.

"Well let me tell you something, Yifan. That all changes when you have to worry about suffering through a couple minutes of Sleeping Beauty and arguing about what color her dress should really be."

Zitao's the baby, see, and when it comes to the baby, the members scamper to attend to his every whim. If he wants to go to the Submarine Voyage, he goes to the Submarine Voyage. If he wants to see Princess Aurora's castle, he is going to see that fucking castle. God knows how many times they've whined about it, but they do it anyway. This time, though, Yifan thinks he wants to make the best out of Disneyland more than he wants to accompany Zitao. They have Minseok for that anyway.

"Point," Yifan says, nodding. "Haunted Mansion?"

Yixing beams. "Haunted Mansion it is."

They do ditch the others. Yifan says something about the bathroom, Yixing follows, they run, and then they arrive at the Haunted Mansion giggling like schoolchildren.

"Think they're gonna be mad?" Yixing says in between gasps of breath.

Yifan snorts. "Nah. Luhan and Jongdae are gonna figure out that we ran then they're probably going to bail as well. Minseok will take care of Zitao."

"Good." Yixing smiles, hooks an arm under Yifan's and nods towards the Mansion. "C'mon."

It's all cool at first. Yixing is all but hiding behind him while he gets to be all smug and protective. Of course, he never counted on the Mansion being scarier than he expected.

"Oh my god," Yixing says, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. "You are a wuss."

"Hey! I'm not. And stop struggling." Yifan pushes Yixing forward, desperate to get closer to the rest of the crowd.

"You're acting like one," Yixing huffs. "I thought you were invincible and that nothing can ever scare you."

Yifan squeaks when he hears a creak from behind him. His hand tightens its hold on Yixing's arm, earning a yelp from the latter. "I was drunk when I said that. I was pretending to be the Hulk."

It wasn't one of his best nights, really. What made it even worse was that Jongdae had it all on film--the body painting, the clothes ripping, the fierce growling, (or so Yifan thought) even the part where everything he could get his hands on, he threw across the room. The morning after that, he woke up with a massive hangover and a pounding headache. The other members were huddled in a circle, giggling loudly. It was a video of him, of course, and he had to admit, it was pretty funny.

"Your tongue gets loose when you're drunk. You were definitely telling us what you thought was true." There's a hint of comfort when Yixing says that, and it makes Yifan wonder whether or not he's just mocking.

"You're right. I am a manly man. I don't get scared easily." Yifan stomps his foot and purses his lips, pushing as much determination as he can into his stance. it doesn't work.

Yixing rolls his eyes. "Don't worry, princess. Maybe I'll be your Prince Charming today."

Yifan narrows his eyes. "I hate you."

Yixing's smile is teasing, but his hand is tight around Yifan's wrists, holding him close. "No, you don't."

No, he doesn't.

They go to Indiana Jones Adventure Last. It's something they've talked about for days, something they promised to go to together because, really, if they see bucket hats there, they are going to have a laugh.

"Yes, okay. We're just gonna try one more ride then we'll meet you in the parking lot."

Yifan's phone is wedged between his ear and his shoulder as Yixing drags him to the entrance. It's getting late, and their manager wants them to go home before the night sets in. The kids are at the Jungle Cruise, though (turns out Luhan and Jongdae never bailed) so they still have time for one more ride.

Now they're sitting side by side, waiting for the vehicle to start, laughing quietly just because.

"Today was fun," Yixing says suddenly. Even in the darkness, Yifan can see the softness of his smile. "I'm glad we ditched the kids."

"Yeah." Yifan leans into Yixing. As much as he can under the safety belts, anyway. "I am, too."

"I got you something," Yixing says, taking something out of his body bag. Two bucket hats, of all things. "I thought you might appreciate it."

"Yeah." Yifan can't help the laughter that bubbles from his throat. He takes one of the hats, fingers brushing lightly against Yixing's, and puts it on. "You ready to face this like the Indiana Jones wannabes we are?"

Yixing's voice is no louder than a murmur, barely carrying out in the air.

"More than you'd think."

Number five: they don't notice it, but they're almost constantly at each other's side.

"Stop grumbling," Yixing says, his touch light on Yifan's arm, comforting.

"You're not the one whose night is going to end with an empty wallet."

Yixing laughs, leaning in. "Well, I'm not the one who lost a bet."

"I still think Zitao was in on it," Yifan says, shooting a glare behind them, where the others are walking in a straight line, playing chu-chu train like the kids they are. "He never, ever leaves his branded bags out in the open, Yixing. I never thought they'd be able to steal one and take it as far as the rooftop."

"And you never thought that they'd want to claim all those promises of food you made ever since we first became a team." Yixing pats his back. "Never trust anyone."

"Even you?" Yifan teases, pursing his lips to hide his smile.

"Especially me." Yixing raises his chin, just like he always does when he tries to look intimidating. "I'll have you know, I want two servings of ramen, as well as a bottle of soju."

"You just made it to my shit list."

"Whatever you say."

Yixing tugs lightly on his arm, towards the eatery. They get a table, Yifan orders, and then he finds himself sitting next to Yixing.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asks, suspicious.

"Oh, nothing," Jongdae says, looking so innocent, it almost convinces Yifan. He doesn't buy it, though, but he knows that while he can threaten to take away their food, it won't really lead to anything. So he decides to go for casual.

"Okay," he says, shrugging. "So who came up with the plan?"

"What plan?"

"Psh, what is he talking about?"

"Yeah. I mean, us? With a plan? Never!"

Yixing rolls his eyes. "Cut it out. You're not very good actors."

"But," Zitao whispers, (or thinks he whispers, because Yifan can hear him just fine) "you'd be selling yourself out."

"I'll be fine," Yixing assures. He turns to Yifan, rolling his eyes, and says, "I came up with the plan."

"I knew it. You did well," Yifan says, nodding his acknowledgement. "Still doesn't mean you're forgiven for taking all my money."

"I did it for the sake of the kids."

"Of course you did."

"I'm right. Admit it."

"Never!"

"Oh god, stop bickering," Jongdae says, rolling his eyes.

Minseok slaps his arm, saying, "If they stop bickering, they're gonna start flirting and being all lovey dovey, and then they're gonna spoonfeed each other, and then it's gonna be sweet but all we're gonna want to do is puke."

Jongdae curses under his breath. "Sorry. Um, carry on."

"The damage is done. Congratulations, Jongdae, you just turned our dinner into a love fest," Luhan says grimly. Yixing and Yifan share a look, share one of those wordless conversations that only lead to bad ideas. A love fest it is, then.

"I didn't mean to make you mad," Yixing says dramatically, taking Yifan's hands in his. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Yifan replies, putting as much emotion in his voice as he can. It's creepy even to his own ears so he counts that as a success. "You can always make it up to me."

"Oh god."

"Lord help us."

"Jongdae, you fucker."

"I wanna go home."

"Yeah you better regret it," Yifan snaps.

"Stop whining and eat your supper," Yixing says, dropping the act. He clucks his tongue and fusses over Zitao who's sulking on his left.

"Yixing is mother hen-ing again." Luhan pouts. "Is he gonna make us eat our greens?"

"He said stop whining. And since Yixing's the one who planned this trick, then I have to admit that you've all been behaving these past few days." Yifan takes a deep breath. "Therefore, no greens for the rest of the week."

There's a collective cheer that is the norm in all joints like this, so much so that the other customers don't even spare them a glance. They fall into their usual chatter. It's comfortable, familiar, something they always end up doing no matter what the situation.

Yifan never wants this to change, never wants their dynamics to stray from what they have now. He knows, comforts himself with that thought that, for the next few years, they're going to continue acting like the kids they are, feeling like they have an eternity left to live, dreams and opportunities abounding.

He doesn't like the thought of change, and really, that's where it all goes wrong.

"Hey, that movie you've been telling me about, it's still in theaters. Wanna watch it?"

Yifan puts down the book he's been reading and sees Yixing, staring at the wall with a crease between his eyebrows. "Yixing?"

"The others are planning something," Yixing mutters, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "I can feel it."

"They're always planning something." Yifan shrugs. "Let them be."

"I don't like it."

"Don't think about it. Better to ignore them than spend every waking moment walking on eggshells."

Yixing sighs, caving in. "You said something about a movie?"

"I didn't cry!"

"Yes, you did. I saw you wiping off a tear."

"I had cheese powder on my cheek."

"Your eyes were glistening."

"Because the powder got in my eye!"

Yixing laughs. "You can pretend all you want but I know what I saw."

Yifan rolls his eyes, grumbling under his breath while he opens the door to the dorm. Yixing knows him well, has been his friend for years. They've watched a lot of movies in that time, enough for Yixing to know that Yifan cries during romcoms and cries even more during comedies. Yixing always teases him about it, and he always tries to deny it, but they both know what's really happening. (and that Yifan's a big softie, but don't tell anyone)

"Surprise!"

Yifan will never admit that he screamed like a girl, ever, not to Yixing, not to anyone.

"What do we have here?" Yixing pushes past Yifan, laughing when he sees the other members wearing neon shirts and party hats. They're gathered around a table, holding out a huge, homemade cake that makes Yifan worry about the state of the kitchen.

"You've both been working hard since April. We know we're a difficult bunch to handle but you never give up on us." Luhan eyes them fondly, his smile small but genuine. "We wanted to make it up to you."

"How did we miss this?" Yixing wonders, shooting Yifan an amused glance.

"Well, it wasn't hard to meet and plan this." Minseok shrugs. "You stay at the studio sometimes. Plus, you're usually the ones who buy groceries."

"You need a break. Besides, we've always wanted to bake a cake," Zitao quips.

"When did you guys start being sweet?" Yifan asks, barely hiding his smile. "It's creeping me out."

"This doesn't mean we're going to start acting like angels, though," Jongdae says quickly.

"I never thought it did," Yixing says, and just when Yifan thinks he's about to cry, he dashes towards the others and huddles them all in his arms. Yifan doesn't need to think about joining them, standing behind Zitao and Minseok, a hand intertwined with Yixing's as they, for once, act like the softies they all are and show just how much their friendship means to each of them.

Yifan likes it, likes how open they all are in this moment. His eyes meet Yixing's and there's a question in them. Yifan isn't sure what, but he doesn't have to worry because when Yixing smiles at him, eyes crinkling in happiness, he knows that Yixing has found his answer.

This is how Yifan reacts. And yes, he's an idiot.

Before Yifan knows it, they're standing on stage, eight whole months since they debuted. They've grown even closer, more comfortable around each other. It was hard at first, but everyone was there for him. Luhan and Minseok might be troublemakers but they try. They act like that adults they're supposed to be and they take Jongdae and Zitao under their wings. Yifan helps sometimes, when he's not too busy.

Yixing always ends up helping him, pushing him to finish every day on a positive note, reminding him that just because he's the leader, doesn't mean he has no need for rest. It's as simple leaving him one-sentence notes on his bedside table, or making him a much needed cup of coffee. They don't really talk much, instead taking comfort from each other's presence, but sometimes their tongues loosen, and they tell each other stories of their families, their dreams, their worries. In all that time, Yifan feels nothing but gratefulness for a friend like Yixing, appreciation for his almost effortless comfort.

Yifan doesn't realize what he has until now. The cameras are rolling but he and Yixing are standing to the side, out of the spotlight for the moment. Yixing's tired, content to watch from the sidelines. He chuckles lightly at the quips of the MCs, whoops enthusiastically when one of the members makes a particularly witty remark. Yifan doesn't notice that he's staring until Yixing rests his head on his shoulder, as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

Usually, Yifan doesn't mind. Yixing does this all the time--in the dorm, in the car on the way to schedules, and sometimes, when he's feeling particularly cheery, during actual filming. So yeah, there's no reason for him to freak out except, this time, it's different. This time, he does. His heartbeats quicken and his breath catches in his throat and he doesn't know why but he's panicking so much it actually scares him.

"Are you okay?" Yixing asks, eyebrows furrowed and eyes filled with concern. Yifan brushes it off with a reluctant nod and a reassuring smile, and Yixing flashes him a relieved smile before laying his head back on Yifan's shoulder. Everything's as it should be, but Yifan's mind goes eerily blank as he watches the kids and the MCs playing a game, until the show ends, until they're changing into more comfortable clothes backstage, until they're squeezing themselves into the van.

It's weird, of course it is, and the others are bound to notice. Yifan tells them he's all right. He laughs at Luhan and Minseok's usual argument about soccer. He tries his best to teach Zitao Korean words besides dick, fuck, and shit since Jongdae's done a pretty good job with that. He curses his luck and gathers all the self-control he has in him so he can resist the temptation that is Jongdae's brand new plan for world (or maybe just SM Entertainment) domination.

But of course there's a catch, because when it comes to alone time with Yixing, he loses it. He gets all jumpy and nervous and tense and it tears his resolve into tiny, tiny pieces, unrecognizable and irreparable. He doesn't know what to do, so he freaks out. He doesn't get angry or defensive. He doesn't break out in a love song or hold Yixing's hand while stuttering his confession. He doesn't cause a scene, no. Instead, he implodes. He avoids Yixing and he makes it a point to spend all his time away from Luhan or Baekhyun or Jongin or anyone else who Yixing hangs out with for more than an hour a day.

When anyone asks Yifan about it, he changes the subject. It's been working so far, and that's good because Yifan wouldn't know what to say anyway.

He feels like a mess, and he doesn't doubt that it's what the others see too. The problem is, he has no idea what's the right thing to do, has no idea why he's feeling this way, or why he can't face it like a man and talk to Yixing. He won't admit he's scared, won't admit he's having a hard time, won't talk to anyone about it. He's making things harder for himself, but hey, that's something he doesn't want to admit too.

It's only a matter of time before the others take serious action. Yifan's surprised it takes them so many weeks to approach him. Then again, Luhan and Minseok have tried talking to him about his 180 degree change when it comes to everything Yixing. He's the only one who's stubborn enough that it has to be Junmyeon who coaxes him out of his hiding.

"What is wrong with you?" Junmyeon snaps as soon as they're stumbling into a familiar hug, two best friends reuniting after months of skyping and guess what the boys did today.

"What?" Yifan gapes. "I didn't do anything."

"I wasn't talking about Kyungsoo." Junmyeon glares, the corners of his mouth twisting downwards into a frown. No one can forget the time Yifan tried to slap Kyungsoo's butt. It was Christmas, he was drunk, and everyone wants a piece of that ass anyway, so who can blame him?

Nevertheless, Junmyeon got all protective and defiant about it. It went on for about a month or two, and Yifan wasn't allowed a meter's radius from Kyungsoo. He had no complaints. After all, he had nothing but friendly intentions towards Kyungsoo, who owed him a year's worth of his favorite brand of pistachio ice cream for the meager task of tricking his bestfriend into getting more handsy.

"I was talking about Yixing and you being an absolute idiot--what the fuck happened?" Junmyeon smacks him on the arm, and damn it, doesn't hold back one bit.

"Ow." Yifan glares at him, but Junmyeon has his disappointed i expected more from you but what the hell i always knew you were an idiot face on and it has never failed to make him feel guilty. Yifan doesn't bother to ask how he found out because Junmyeon knows everything. It isn't because he meddles, but because he's so good a listener that everyone just comes to him. "Okay, okay, I was an idiot."

"And why were you an idiot?" Junmyeon prompts.

"Because I should've said something," Yifan says, so unsure that it comes out like a question.

"And?"

Yifan turns away, unwilling to give away so much of himself. Too bad Junmyeon doesn't take his shit.

"Yifan. What do you need to use when you experience feelings and emotions?"

"My words," he mutters in response, and if he weren't so tired, he would be ranting on and on about being treated like a child. It works for Junmyeon, though, especially since Sehun, Jongin, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol can hardly be called adults.

"And what should you have said?"

"That I," Yifan pauses, because even though he knows, he still hasn't admitted it out loud, "that I'm having inappropriate feelings."

"Oh." Junmyeon's eyebrows knit together, but he doesn't lose conviction. "What do you mean by inappropriate?"

"Really, Junmyeon?" Yifan laughs, but it feels more like a grimace, feels more like he's choking on his words. "Do I need to spell this out for you too? Inappropriate. Out of line. Wrong. Unrequited."

"You think that?" Junmyeon pats his arm. "See that's where you went wrong. This is why talking about feelings is good. This is why you have to go talk to Yixing right now and tell him all about your inappropriate, and maybe, probably, most likely, sexual feelings for him."

"They're not sexual!" Yifan protests, because honestly, he likes Yixing for more than his body. (though it's a huge bonus, maybe +73619138, okay) "Not all the time, anyway."

"Sure," Junmyeon agrees readily. "Just go. Right now. Stop dillydallying."

"Okay?"

"Don't say it like that," Junmyeon chides, his nose scrunching up in distaste. "Okay! You're gonna do this! You're a hoe. I'm your hoe supporter. You are gonna get that Yixing hoe."

"Does that really work?" Yifan has reason to doubt it, because honestly, this kind of pep talk isn't helping him feel any better.

Junmyeon shrugs. "The kids are hoes."

Thank god Yifan didn't draw the short stick and get stuck with the weird bunch.

"Okay. I got this. I am going to talk to him and get this over with," Yifan says, standing up and shaking off his nerves, not unlike what he would do right before a basketball game.

Junmyeon, the supportive bestfriend that he is, says, "Yes, you can!"

He doesn't.

He freaks out again and Junmyeon has his disappointed but we talked about this face on but, you know, there's always next time. At least, that's what Yifan tells himself.

Chanyeol and Yifan have a special connection. It's something that only tall people can share, really, and most of their conversations start with hey man, I helped this guy reach the top shelf at the library yesterday, you? and end with yeah, we do good in the world, bro. Of course, because of these conversations, they've made it to the top of Junmyeon's and Kyungsoo's shit lists. They don't mind. At least they're tall, and they have each other.

That being said, after a particular attack from the Brotherhood of Petite Individuals (spiderwebs, lots and lots of spiderwebs) Yifan and Chanyeol made a pact to be bros who always look out for each other. Be it low ceilings or a difficult sudoku puzzle, they must always be ready to help each other, so it's really no surprise that Chanyeol wants to help Yifan with his Yixing problem.

They're backstage, a little while after their own performance. They have nothing else to do but watch the rest of the show, huddled in a corner, trying their best to stay out of the way. Sehun, Jongin, and Baekhyun all but drool as they stare at the girl group currently on stage. Kyungsoo and Junmyeon are pressed closely together, whispering softly to each other. Luhan and Zitao are gossiping, squealing so loudly, at times, that they earn a few eye rolls from the staff. Jongdae and Minseok sit a few paces from the group, dozing off.

Chanyeol's talking to Yixing, telling a joke probably, because Yixing laughs, his eyes turning into crescents. Yifan pretends he's not watching, locks his eyes on the stage and pretends that he isn't aware of every smile, every hitch in Yixing's breath when he's caught between talking and laughing. He doesn't fool himself, and he has to close his eyes for a moment because what is he doing. Every minute spent pretending that everything's okay, that maybe he can postpone talking to Yixing to another day, that it's better for him this way, every minute is wasted.

God, why isn't he the one beside Yixing right now? Why isn't Yifan making him laugh, making him breathless and happy and giddy? Better yet, why is Yifan, to quote Junmyeon, a little shit who can't deal with his feelings?

Yifan lets out a breath in frustration. He licks his lips, suddenly aware of the tension in his shoulders, the way the muscles in his back are taut, the itch at the back of his mind to do something about his issues right the fuck now or else, he's going to regret it in the end.

Of course, Chanyeol picks that moment to play matchmaker, bless him.

Yifan finds himself with a ribbon around his neck, with Chanyeol pulling him towards Yixing. Yixing who looks as stunned as he feels, who only has exasperation and an apology in his eyes even when it should be Yifan who's sorry, damn it.

Chanyeol pats him on the back, and Yifan knows that it's the customary gesture for i've done all i can, bro. He appreciates it.

"Hey," Yifan says, and it comes out like a whisper, a soft tendril of sound that curls around the shell of Yixing's ear, hesitant.

"Yifan," Yixing breathes, and he sounds so relieved, so broken that Yifan feels his walls crumble down in one swoop. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry."

"Don't say that," Yifan berates, wrapping his arms around Yixing. "Never say that. I'm the one who's sorry."

Yixing nods. "Okay. Okay."You're forgiven is what he doesn't need to say. He tucks his head in the crook of Yifan's neck, close enough that Yifan feels him smile.

"We're good," Yifan says, repeats, hopes, and the only thing that bats away at the fear in his heart is Yixing, pressing kisses lightly on his skin, comforting, assuring, murmuring yes yes yes.