SPN RPS Fic: Trouble Is - 1/3 (Jared/Jensen, Jared/Jensen/Chris) NC-17
Trouble Is
They've never talked about it, not really.
The only time they even broached the subject, it didn't go beyond Chris taking Jensen out and getting him shitfaced and mumbling, "Sorry about Jared, man," and Jensen mumbling " 'sokay" and that being the end of it.
But it wasn't the end at all. Jensen still ached, thinking about the way they'd looked that morning when he walked in. Chris draped all over Jared, mouth and hands everywhere and Jared's head tipped back, that look on his face, the one Jared only gets when he's wound tight and so turned on he's on fire. Jensen hated that anyone other than him had been responsible for putting that look there, especially since that anyone was Chris.
But Jensen knows he walked away and he treated Jared like shit, so he really can't blame Jared for hooking up with someone familiar, someone who was connected to Jensen as deeply as Chris is. The hurt, the betrayal, though, that's still there bubbling under the surface, like a volcano that's lying dormant, but still alive.
That's not all that bothers him, though. Jensen would've been lying to himself if he tried to say seeing them together like that hadn't made him crazy in other ways. If he tried to say it hadn't made him hard and made him want to be more than just an observer. He wonders if half his anger over the whole thing wasn't anger at himself, not just for treating Jared the way he had, but for wanting to be a part of it, too.
Jensen's not the only one who's holding onto it, either. Chris still watches Jared sometimes, when Chris thinks nobody's looking; when Jared stretches and his shirt rides up, far-too-baggy jeans slung low on his hips and that strip of tanned skin just there, teasing. Jensen sees the heat in Chris's eyes, the way his neck contracts as he swallows, hand gripping his beer bottle just a little too tight.
He sees the way Jared is with Chris, too. Jared laughs a little too long at Chris's jokes and leans in a bit too close, staring up at Chris from under his eyelashes, like a high-school girl trying to perfect her flirting techniques. Not that Jared's need perfecting.
Jared's hornier than a dog in heat after Chris has been around; Jensen knows exactly how desperate and needy he is. If they're at a bar, Jared'll drag Jensen into the nearest bathroom, lock the door and beg Jensen to fuck him right then and there, or drop to his knees and suck Jensen, hard and fast.
Jensen isn't worried. He knows Jared wants him more than anything. Knows Jared loves him and knows this thing between Jared and Chris could never ruin that. But Jensen doesn't want it to be a brick wall between him and Jared, either.
There's always been this unspoken thing between him and Chris anyway. They've never acted on it, but there was that one time when they were nineteen, twenty, and they'd been drunk as hell on tequila slammers and Sol and Jensen had just leaned over and kissed him. They didn't talk about it, ever, but Jensen remembers what Chris's lips felt like under his, warm and wet and softer than they should've been.
So yeah, maybe Jensen wants in.
***
Jensen's asleep when Jared gets home from New York. Eight on Saturday morning and normally Jensen would've been up by now, a run and breakfast, but he drank a little too much the night before. Tequila shots at Chris's bar followed by champagne at the opening of some new sushi place in Hollywood, with Chad. Jensen still doesn't know how Chad managed to rope him into being his date, especially when he got left within an hour when something better came along. Yeah, Jared's employment may be gainful these days, but Chad's? Not so much.
Jared's been on a ten-day shoot for As the World Turns and it's the longest they've spent apart since they moved in together. Jared's starting to get pretty successful; the casting directors seem to like his face, and he's up for the role of the new doctor on Grey's Anatomy. He'll probably get it, too; he's damn good and he's pretty enough and at least he wouldn't be the only queen in the cast.
Sometimes Jensen wonders where he'd be if he hadn't fired his manager and ruined all his chances of his future on a plate. But then Jared wouldn't be in his life, and that's a far worse prospect than not being the next Matt Damon.
Besides, things are picking up for him. He's working on a semi-independent right now, a gay love story set in the 1950s, directed by William H. Macy. William Fucking H Macy. He tells everyone who'll listen that he sure as shit wouldn't've got that opportunity if he was doing whatever shit Lucille was offering him after Devour. Wouldn't've been willingly taking gay roles, either. Who knows, he might even get to go to Sundance with this one.
He wakes as soon as Jared's key turns in the door; stretches and rolls onto his back. Jared walks into the bedroom and drops his bag on the ground.
"Man, that flight sucked." Jared yawns, kicking his sneakers off and sliding in next to Jensen, under the covers. "There was this guy next to me who talked the whole way. All I wanted to do was sleep, but as soon as he heard my accent? I had no chance." He leans over and kisses Jensen, soft and slow, breathing a "Hey" into his mouth.
"Mmmm." Jensen rubs his eyes. "Missed you."
Jared lifts up the covers, a smirk on his face.
"I can see that. Want me to take care of it?"
"Yeah," Jensen groans. "That'd be. Mmmm. Good."
Jared wastes no time kicking the duvet halfway down and wrapping his hand around Jensen's cock, thumbing the head. Jensen lays a hand on the back of Jared's skull, his thumb stroking silky hair. Jared hasn't cut his hair and Jensen's glad, he likes it long and shaggy and lush like it is, and it's perfect for twisting his fingers in when he--
"Fuck." Jared's mouth is always hot and wet and perfect, and in all the time they've spent together, all the kinky shit they've done, the fucking on every surface of the house, in every room, this is still his favorite thing of all. He loves everything about sex with Jared, but God, that mouth. "Goddamn," and he's never sounded more Texan than he does at that moment, "Jared, I missed you so much. Missed your mouth. Christ."
Jared deep throats with ease, of course; he made a fucking living out of it. Jensen's stomach twists at the thought and he wonders if there'll ever be a time when it doesn't sting just a little, thinking of Jared on his knees for anyone who paid enough. But it's not like Jensen can resent him for it. After all, he was one of those guys once.
He called Jared a whore once, a while back, when they were fucking. He had Jared cuffed, on his knees, and Jensen was slamming into him hard, so hard and he bit his neck and growled, "Little whore, aren't you? Just dying for my cock. You love it." Jared had come instantly and afterwards Jensen had felt like shit.
He'd uncuffed Jared and held him, saying, "Not a whore, Jare. Fuck. Fuck, I'm so sorry."
Jared had kissed Jensen and pulled back to look at him. "I liked it. Probably makes me the most fucked-up guy in the world, but I liked it." He bit Jensen's ear. "Only yours though. Only for you."
Jensen had choked back tears and nodded. Sometimes he wondered exactly what he had done to wind up with someone like Jared.
Jared grabs Jensen's other hand and puts it on his head and Jensen loves that they're so comfortable together now that they don't even have to ask for what they want; he grinds his hips forward and back, driving his cock into Jared's mouth. Jared moans around it and Jensen can feel the vibrations through his whole body and it's too much. It feels like forever since he's felt this, the perfect suction of Jared's mouth, the way Jared just loves to take it, and he feels like his body's turned to liquid and there's nothing but heat and wet and Jared and he's arching up, groaning in release as he comes down Jared's throat.
"Oh my God." Jensen's still breathless when he opens his eyes and Jared wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. His mouth is red and used and Jensen feels his cock twitch like it's ready to go another round. "Welcome home."
"I need a shower, man. I reek."
"Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but..." Jensen grins as Jared huffs out a laugh and pulls his t-shirt over his head, slow, his hip cocked out and deliberately looking like the gigantic flirt that Jensen knows he is. Jensen reaches out, traces down Jared's torso with his index finger until he reaches Jared's waist, hooks his finger in the waistband of Jared's jeans and pulls him down.
"Mmmph," Jared pushes Jensen back down, puts a hand over his mouth when Jensen tries to kiss him again, "Hopping in the shower. If you want, you can join me."
He rolls onto the floor, unzips his jeans and shucks the rest of his clothes. He rubs his stomach with one hand and then gives his cock one, two lazy strokes before padding off to the bathroom in bare feet.
Jensen groans. He's happy in bed, warm and comfortable and that's just not playing fair, dammit.
"That's the only invitation you're getting, dude," Jared yells over the hiss of the shower.
***
Jared hates flying, always has. It makes his skin dry and tight and no matter how much water he drinks, it takes a shower for him to feel remotely human again.
Jared wonders pretty much every day if this is even his life. It's like he's on autopilot, living the life he thought he was supposed to live a lifetime ago, and sometimes, it feels more like he's living the life that Jensen wants him to lead than anything that he would've picked for himself. Sometimes it feels like he's living the life Jensen would've had if not for the fact that he chucked it in for Jared, like maybe he's living out Jensen's fantasy career, now.
He's in the shower a couple of minutes when he hears the door slide open and he feels Jensen pressing up against his back, hands on Jared's waist like it's normal, natural. It's only been a few months since they moved in together, but Jared's gotten used to this so fast; waking up with Jensen, spending the whole day in bed if they want to, feeling Jensen against him, curved against his body like they're a perfect fit.
It scares him sometimes just how easy it's been to get used to this. He's lived for so long being calculated, not letting people get too close, and this is so far out of his comfort zone that sometimes he has no idea how to react.
Reacting isn't really an issue most of the time, though, not when they're like this. Not when Jared can feel Jensen's skin against his, Jensen's mouth against his back and warm breath on his skin. Jensen's teeth graze his shoulder and his head goes back, a sigh on his lips.
"Really missed this," Jensen whispers into his skin. "Missed touching you. Bed felt so empty without you there, like I kept expecting to reach over and feel you next to me."
"God." Jared nearly jumps as he feels Jensen's hands palming his ass, slippery with conditioner, a slick finger tracing up and down the crease, and he bites his lip when two of Jensen's fingers push in, slow and steady.
"You want this?" Jensen's other hand grips Jared's cock, not moving, just... there. Jared puts his hands on the wall in front of him, turns his head away from the water because the spray is too hot. He's too hot, and he nods.
"Say it," Jensen growls. "Say you want it."
"Fuck." Jared can feel Jensen's hand on him, tight and warm, and his fingers inside Jared's hole, unmoving but still there. He groans, "Yeah, fuck me, Jensen. I want it. Want you, fuck."
Jared can feel Jensen breathe, "Yeah," against him and his hand starts moving, slick and so good, stroking Jared's cock and man, Jared feels like he's been hard as nails for hours now because he's getting close far too quick. Jensen's touching him just the way Jared likes it, long, slow strokes, his thumb swiping the head and all the while fucking Jared perfectly, adding a finger and grazing that sweet fucking spot inside him.
"Christ, I want your cock, Jensen." Jared's breathing hard, babbling filth, as easily as if a switch has been flicked. "Want you. Ah, fuck. Want you inside me so bad."
"I know you do." Jensen's voice is so calm; you'd think he was just having a normal conversation, not screwing Jared senseless with nothing but his hands. "Gonna get you on your back, spread you open and fuck you so hard you won't sit down for a week."
Jared comes with a choked-off moan, Jensen fucking him right through the aftershocks, and when Jensen finally stops and Jared comes back to himself, the water is starting to get cold.
"You're so predictable," Jared mumbles, turning around to face Jensen and pulling him in for a kiss. "Always gotta be the toppy little bitch."
"Ah, you love it." Jensen grins.
Jared's got to admit he kind of does.
***
New Year's Eve had always been a big night for Jared. He and Chad'd start early, 'round four in the afternoon, with some lines and a bottle of Cuervo, and by the time they'd leave to go to whatever party they'd been invited to in the Hills, they'd already be halfway to very fucked up.
This year couldn't be more different. Chris's invited them to his bar for a little closed-doors get-together. There are maybe thirty people there and free champagne at midnight, along with Chris and his pal Steve providing the music.
It's weird being around Chris. Jared'd made it clear to Jensen early on that the thing with Chris was just that once, that he'd picked Jensen and besides, unless Jensen wanted to just throw aside his friendship with Chris, the three of them were going to have to try and put aside what had happened and move on. Jensen's seemed to find that remarkably easy, but Chris? Well, Chris is pretty damn hard to read at the best of times. Still, Jared sometimes looks into Chris's eyes and sees something there he isn't sure he wants to think about. Feels this warmth in his stomach when he sees whatever's reflected in Chris's eyes and feels like he's cheating simply by not looking away.
Jared sometimes wonders if Jensen can see it, too. He really hopes not. There's no contest as far as he's concerned. He loves Jensen, wants to be with him, wants him more than anything, anyone else. Chris, though, there's just something between them whenever they're together. Jared wonders whether that's something they're going to have to deal with for as long as all three of them exist in the same space.
Steve and Chris sound amazing. They both have fantastic voices, but Jared finds himself listening for Chris's and it makes him feel like his skin's vibrating. Chris's voice is thick with sex and whiskey and cigarettes and when Jensen points out a booth for them to sit in, Jared follows him, carrying the drinks, and doesn't dare look up at the stage to lock eyes with Chris.
They're up to their sixth shot plus two or three beers and Jared's pressed up against Jensen, fingers idly tracing the fraying inseam of his jeans.
Steve and Chris are taking a break and there's a Ryan Adams and the Cardinals CD playing. Jensen leans in, face just a few inches from Jared's, and brushes his lips against Jared's ear.
"I see you looking, y'know. At him."
"Huh?" Jared takes a pull on his beer and keeps looking straight ahead, not sure if he likes where this is heading.
"Chris." Jensen has his thumb on Jared's cheek and he traces the line of bone. Jared's heart feels like it's just leaped into his mouth. "It's really all right, Jay. I get it."
"You. You do?" Jared turns to face him and Jensen nods.
"Yeah, I do. There's history there, and he was there for you when you needed him." Jensen drains his beer, slams it back down a bit hard on the table, and Jared jumps. "But we need to do something about it."
"We do?" Jared swallows, confused as hell and freaked out and Jensen isn't helping any with this calm, controlled way he's discussing the whole subject. Jared thinks he prefers it when Jensen just flies off the handle. "I don't get you, Jensen."
"You two have unresolved business, and I don't want this thing to be a brick wall between us, Jay." He licks his lips; they look chapped, and Jared's surprised that anyone who moisturizes as much as Jensen does can have dry anything.
"Spit it out, Jen." Jared finishes his own beer. "You're not making sense."
"I think we should." Jensen stops himself, obviously trying to choose his words carefully. "I think we should take Chris home tonight." Jensen doesn't sound calm and controlled now; his voice is shaking and when he lays a hand on Jared's arm, Jared can feel he's sweating.
"What the fuck?" Jared half-whispers, because he really doesn't think anyone else there needs to hear this particular discussion. "You're out of your mind. Why?"
"I told you why." Jensen sounds about twelve years old then, uncertain and small. "If I'm in on this thing then it won't just be between you two anymore and we can deal with it. I don't want to share you with anyone, Jared, but right now, there's a part of you that he has and I don't."
Jared nods. In a fucked-up way he sees exactly where Jensen is coming from, but he still feels like it's a huge mistake. Three-ways, in his experience, never go well.
"Okay, let's say that I'm okay with this, and Chris--" Jared pauses and turns to look at Chris, busy flirting with an entire group of busty blondes who look like they belong on Girls of the Playboy Mansion. "--Chris is okay with this. Jensen, you need to promise me this won't make things worse, and I really don't think you can do that."
"Hey." Jensen grabs Jared by the belt and pulls him closer, kisses him on the mouth. "I was the one who asked you, remember?"
"Okay then." Jared nods, though okay really has nothing at all to do with it. If this is really what Jensen wants, then he's not going to say no. It's only sex, after all, and Jared doesn't really have many hang-ups in that area.
"Come on," he says, "we need to hit the dance floor for midnight." He pulls Jensen out of the booth, tight coil of excitement unfolding in his gut.
***
It's 4 AM by the time the bar's empty and Chris sits down with them, bottle of Maker's Mark in his hand and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He has stubble that looks about three days old and his hair's half in, half out of his trucker cap. His jeans have a hole in the knee and Jensen remembers when he bought those jeans, remembers all the times he's seen Chris wear them, and he wonders, not for the first time, if he really is insane for suggesting this whole thing.
He gestures to Chris and the bottle gets passed over. Jensen takes a gulp, the bourbon warm and smooth as it slides down his throat.
"So, uh," Jensen starts, licking the alcohol from his lips. "We were thinking."
He tries to ignore Jared's glare, but he can feel it even as he's looking down at the table.
"Okay, I was thinking..." He passes the bottle to Jared who smiles just a little as he takes it. "Uh."
"Oh, for God's sake," Jared says, playfully impatient. "Jensen wants to have a three-way because he thinks it'll make things easier. I'm not so sure he's right, but I'm willing to give it a shot. You in?"
Jensen splutters and Jared claps him on the back, huge smirk on his face. Jared's not exactly shy when it comes to sex, and Jensen knows he shouldn't be surprised about that, given it was his job for so long. Jensen likes to think he's pretty uninhibited but apparently he still has his limits.
"Huh. Wanna pass me over that bottle, Jared?" Chris takes the bottle from him, takes a swig from it and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Chris's face doesn't give much away, it never does, but Jensen's learned to read him pretty well over the years. He's surprised, but not altogether shocked.
"You're kinda insane, Jen. But I knew that already." Chris has really nice-looking lips and Jensen can remember how they felt against his, and he's pretty sure soon he's going to get to feel them again. Chris isn't going to say no.
Chris takes a long drag on his cigarette and lets the smoke slide out when he speaks. "This could be a huge mistake, boys. You sure?"
"Just so we're clear," Jensen grabs Chris's cigarette from between his fingers and takes a drag, "this thing has to be just tonight, for as long as tonight lasts. Anything more than that and it's... different, y'know?"
Chris nods. Jared is sitting pressed up against Jensen and he lays one hand on Jensen's thigh. It's a non-verbal gesture that says so much and Jensen turns his head and kisses Jared, right there, one hand tangled in his hair, the other on his waist.
"Okay," Chris says, and when they break apart, Jared is breathing heavily. "Let me lock up. My place?"
Jensen sees Chris pushing Jared up against the breakfast bar, sees himself walking in and finding them there like that and his stomach twists into knots. He looks at Jared and it's like Jared read his mind because he's shaking his head and gripping Jensen's thigh.
"Nah," he says. "Our place is better."
***
When they get back to the apartment, Jared goes straight to the bedroom and gets rid of his shoes and socks and jacket. Pulls off his shirt and throws it and his socks in the laundry basket. Goes to the bedside table and lays out condoms and lube and has this huge sense of déjà vu.
This is what it used to be like. Standing there in his wifebeater and jeans and no shoes or socks, making sure the supplies were in the right place before he got down to business and it hasn't been that long since he quit, nine months maybe? Yet it feels like such an alien concept, feels like somebody else lived that life and it's amazing how something like this can bring it all flooding back.
He walks into the lounge where Jensen and Chris are downing tequila shots and Chris is rolling a joint.
"Y'know, if y'all retards are just going to keep drinking, you can forget about getting fucked tonight."
Jensen walks over, leery grin plastered on his face.
"Oh you're going to get fucked, Jay, you better believe that." When Jensen's turned on and talks like that, his voice bass-deep, it makes Jared shiver.
Jensen lights the joint and takes a hit, pulls Jared in with one finger hooked in his belt loops and the other hand palming his cheek, presses his lips to Jared's and when Jared opens, he blows the smoke into Jared's mouth, tongue stroking against his.
Jared moans, sucking down the sticky-sweet taste of marijuana. Beyond that, there's the rich taste of Jensen and tequila and it makes him want to drop to his knees right there, or just rut against Jensen like this, fully clothed. As it is, he's rubbing against him, can't help himself, and Jensen continues eating at his mouth, pausing for a minute to pull off Jared's wifebeater.
Chris whistles through his teeth. "Well, I think that's the prettiest picture I ever saw."
Jensen smiles against Jared's mouth and turns around to face Chris. Jared can still feel the imprint of Jensen's lips on his and he's starting to feel muddy from the pot, skin prickling and ridiculously turned on and when Jensen turns away, Jared just wants to pull him back.
"C'mere," Jensen says to Chris, low and raspy, and when Chris is standing close, Jensen grabs him, hands in his hair. Jared nearly moans when the two of them start to kiss, mouths open and this is... not what he was expecting and he doesn't think this is the first time it's happened, either. He makes a mental note to ask Jensen about it later.
Chris takes a hit from the joint and hands it back to Jared who takes his own hit, drawing smoke deeply into his lungs. Chris's hands move to Jensen's ass and Jensen's rocking against him and Jared's high as hell and had it with being an observer. This isn't the first time he's done this and he's sure as shit not going to just stand there when he could be right in the middle of it. He leaves the joint in the nearest ashtray, walks over and stands with a hand on each of them, fingers massaging their scalps. Jensen turns to face him, and so does Chris, and soon the three of them are kissing, messy and wet and so good that Jared can't help the moan that spills out from his lips.
Jared can feel himself maneuvered, his back to Jensen, who brushes his lips over Jared's neck as his hands ghost over Jared's torso, fingers playing with his nipples, and Chris is still kissing him, sucking on his tongue as he flicks open the button on Jared's jeans. He pulls away and draws them down, along with his boxers. Jared steps out of them and kicks them across the room and soon Chris is kissing him again. Chris tastes similar to Jensen; booze and pot on his breath, too, but different.
It's so strange, this whole thing. Kissing Chris, feeling him against naked skin when Jared never thought that would ever happen again.
Jared's so fucking turned on and it's all so overwhelming: Chris's mouth on his, Jensen pressed up tight against his back, cock riding the crease of Jared's ass. Marijuana and alcohol adding to the sensation and he feels like his knees are going to buckle.
"You're both a little overdressed," he mumbles. They laugh and Jared swears when this is over he's going to deck the both of them. He moves his hips back, trying to get more friction from Jensen, but Jensen's hands move to his waist and still his movement.
"Let's take this to the bedroom," Jensen says, as calmly as if he was suggesting what movie they should see or what they're going to have for dinner. Jared nods furiously and Chris just hums as he licks Jared's throat.
"Mmmm, so good," Jensen murmurs against Jared's neck. "Think you can walk on your own?"
Jared nods, anticipation pooling in his belly as he wipes his hand across his forehead and they both step away so he can collect himself before making for the bedroom.
***
When they're all naked and Jared's sprawled on his back with Chris above him, Jensen briefly wonders whether they were wrong in doing this here and not at Chris's. His chest aches at the thought of their bed, his and Jared's, being soaked with memories of Chris for all time.
But it's ridiculous giving in to that, because he wanted this, it was his idea. Besides, if they'd done this back at Chris's, in Chris's room, Jensen would've been obsessing the whole time about what they'd done there before, where Chris had fucked him, how many times and how many ways. Having that floating around in his head would be the worst possible thing at a time like this and he snaps himself out of it, brings himself back.
He leans over to Jared and kisses him lazily as Chris fucks Jared slow and deep with his fingers. Jared's head is thrown back and his hair is plastered to his forehead and Jensen swallows his moans, soothing Jared with his lips and tongue.
"Y'like that?" Chris half-whispers, his voice sex-rough and thick. "Get you ready so Jensen can fuck you? Look at you, all gagging for it."
Jared does this roll with his hips, fucking himself on Chris's fingers, and that sends a jolt straight to Jensen's cock. He can't believe how seeing Jared like this affects him, every time. He's so incredibly graceful for someone so tall, and when he's like this, spread out and all long legs and slim waist and liquid movements, it drives Jensen crazy.
Even crazier when Jared starts to make those needy, desperate noises that Jensen loves to force out of him.
"What do you say, Jared?" Jensen breathes in his ear, teeth grazing his lobe. "Want me to fuck you? Want Chris to fuck you after?"
"Anything." Jared's voice is shaky, ragged, and Jensen gets his hand on Jared's cock and fists it a couple of times, long, slow strokes and Jared's practically whimpering now, dual sensation of Chris's fingers inside him and Jensen's hand on his cock must be driving him insane. Jensen knows exactly where to touch Jared to make him even crazier, and he rubs his thumb down the underside of Jared's cock, hitting the nerves in just the right place, and Jared practically leaps off the bed, hips thrusting up. "God, please, Jensen. Chris. Just--"
Jensen looks at Chris and nods. He grabs one of the foil packets from next to him and tears it, moves to roll it on, but feels a hand on his arm.
"Don't," Jared says, eyes dark and glittery with lust. "Wanna see Chris put it on you. Please?"
"Hell, yeah," Chris groans and pulls out of Jared, moving up to face Jensen. He kneels in front of him and takes the condom out of his hand. Jensen's breathing shallow now, short sharp breaths that he can't control and his tongue feels thick and useless in his mouth.
Jensen's eyes fall shut as soon as he feels Chris's hand on him, rolling the latex over his cock, and he really hopes Chris doesn't do much, because he feels like he's about to shoot and there is no way he's missing out on the main event.
"God," Jared manages to get out. "Fuck, you two are. Kiss him, Chris. You want to, right?"
"Yeah, yeah I do." Chris gets one hand on the back of Jensen's neck and holds him close, tongue teasing at his lower lip, grazing it with his teeth until Jensen opens and shoves his tongue into the warm wet of Chris's mouth. It's so good, and with his other hand Chris is slicking Jensen up with lube. Jensen's hands curl into fists, digging his fingernails in, in an effort to take his mind off the feel of Chris's hand sliding over his cock, slippery and tight and so damn good.
Jensen breaks the kiss, needing air, but when he turns his head to look at Jared, he feels the breath catch in his throat. Jared is kneeling, facing the headboard. His back is glistening and Jensen wants to catch all the droplets on his tongue, lick a long line down his back and work Jared open with his tongue, taste desperation and want and Jared. But more than that he needs to fuck him, needs it now and Chris must see that because he's moving over to Jared, sitting flat against the headboard and leaning back. Jared bends forward, takes Chris into his mouth and just goes down on him.
Jensen feels his stomach clench, wishing he was in Chris's position, wishes he had that sweet-hot mouth on him, but it's okay, because he has Jared right where he wants him and he gets in behind Jared, hands on Jared's hips and pushing slowly in.
Tight fucking heat. It always amazes Jensen just how tight Jared still is, even after all the times they've fucked. He holds Jared there, doesn't move him like he normally would; he doesn't think Chris would probably appreciate that. He can hear Chris muttering filth about how perfect Jared's mouth is, can hear the noises Jared's making with his mouth; it must be hard for him to keep it up with Jensen slamming into him and pulling all the way out, but Jared's a fucking master at this and pretty soon he's got Chris right on the edge. Chris is staring at Jensen now, eyes on him as he fucks Jared with deep, hard strokes and Chris looks so damn good, biting his lip and his breath catching as he gets pulled over the edge, coming into Jared's mouth.
Jared pulls off Chris with a wet pop and Jensen pulls out, flips Jared over on the other side of the bed, legs wrapped around him up high and Jensen slams right back into him. He needs to see Jared's face, watch him come apart in front of his eyes. Jensen's back is so slick with sweat that he can feel Jared's legs sliding up and down on every downward stroke. It's too much, all of it, Jared's so tight and slippery-hot and his head is turned to one side, exposing that gorgeous long neck and if Jensen wanted to keep this going, he'd pull out and bite at Jared's neck, mark him up so that the tanned skin was marred with bruises that Jared could see on himself anytime and know exactly who it was that put them there.
But that's not what he needs right now, and he's so close, so fucking close. Chris has moved in and he's jerking Jared off as he licks into Jared's mouth. Jared's writhing now, driving his hips forward to meet Jensen's thrusts and driving his cock into Chris's fist and Jensen knows exactly when Jared's about to come, knows the noises he makes. Jared slams his hips up one more time, come splashing on his chest and chin.
Jensen's so close and the sight of Jared lying there, come marking his face and his mouth open trying to catch his breath, is enough to throw Jensen right over the edge. He grabs Jared by the hips, fingers gripping tight enough to leave bruises, and slams in one more time, deep as he can go, groaning as his orgasm hits him full force.
He falls forward onto Jared and lies there, still inside him, not wanting to move just yet. His face is pressed to Jared's torso and he can feel Jared's heart beating fast, not quite back to normal.
Jensen knows the feeling.
***
Just over two weeks later, Jensen leaves for Chicago for five days of pick-ups. Jared thought about going too; he's never been to Chicago and he wants to see for himself if the rivalry with New York is warranted. Jared's pretty sure he could definitively judge just who does make better pizza and hot dogs once and for all.
He decides against it; Jensen's barely going to have time to sleep, let alone sightsee, and there's always the chance he'll get called in for network auditions at ABC with no notice whatsoever. He'd be an idiot to risk his chance at a break like this just to go shopping on Michigan Avenue and get a slice at Gino's.
Jensen's ready to go at 5 AM, and Jared's barely awake. Jensen kisses him and tells him to break a leg, and throws out a lame quip about Jared making sure he's learned his sides for Dr. Drake Ramore.
"It's Dr. Steven Cale, asshole, I'm not Joey fucking Tribiani," Jared mumbles into the pillow. "You're the one with the sad-ass ex-daytime soap career. But that's okay, because you're a serious actor, now, right?"
"Whatever, biatch," Jensen says and kisses him again, brushing his lips across Jared's forehead. "Call you tonight."
Jared goes right back to sleep and has some horrible anxiety dream about auditioning for the network by dropping to his knees and blowing every one of the male execs in succession. They hire him on the spot, of course; if there's one thing Jared knows how to do it's suck cock. Sometimes he considers putting it on his resume; it is a special skill, after all.
Crazy what your brain does to you. The dream was totally ridiculous; it wasn't like he was auditioning for the CW, or anything.
"Oh, come on, Jared," Jensen had said once, when Jared had mentioned all the rumors. "Those casting couch stories are total urban myths. Tom auditioned over there a bunch of times and got cast. "
"I rest my case," Jared had said, raising his glass.
It doesn't take him long to start feeling antsy when he's alone. He doesn't know what to do with himself when Jensen isn't there and he almost misses the routine of hooking. Sure, he's had a few acting jobs, and that's great and all, but it seems so... distant. Like he's watching someone else's life. When he was hustling he felt in control, much more so than now, and it's ironic, because most people would think it was the opposite, but Jared knows better.
He always knew what was expected of him, he misses that certainty, and dammit, he fucking misses the money, too. He isn't exactly rolling in cash, and he hates relying on Jensen for handouts; it makes him seriously worry about the power balance in their relationship. He doesn't want to feel like a kept wife, because what's the difference between that and a whore?
And yeah, he knows he really needs to get over himself
Jared sleeps in far too long, and by 11 he's sleep-hungover and rank as hell. He stands in the shower till the water runs cold and misses Jensen's call. He tries calling back, but Jensen's phone's turned off and Jared doesn't leave a message.
He's bored, so he takes a walk down to Sweet Lady Jane for a slice of triple berry and a latte and looks over his sides a couple of times while he shovels moist, sharp-sweet perfection into his mouth. His phone vibrates and he doesn't recognize the number, but he picks up anyway, says "Hi, this is Jared," swallowing his coffee with a gulp.
"Yo, dipshit. Where you at?"
Jared laughs around a mouthful of cake; Chad hasn't called him for three weeks.
"New phone?" he says, finishing his coffee. "That's gotta be a record."
Jared hears Chad light up and suck smoke into his lungs. His voice is scratchier when he speaks again.
"Left it in Justin Hartley's beamer, man. His wife found it and did a Russell Crowe. But score for me, because, dude, I got a brand new Motorizr and a bottle of Jack out of it. He felt real bad."
"Yeah, well, it's not the first time she's caught him and it won't be the last." Jared licks his finger and picks up the stray crumbs left on his plate. "I'd quit while I was ahead if I were you; she's got a mean right hook."
"Have I taught you nothing?" Chad asks and Jared can just hear the smirk on his face. "You don't turn down swag, especially when it comes from pretty-boy actors. You of all people should know that."
That feels like a kick to his gut and Jared wants to slap the smirk off Chad's face, but he knows exactly what's driving the attitude. "I haven't forgotten you, man. Just. I just got a different job now is all."
"Yeah, about that..."
Jared recognizes the tone in Chad's voice and he knows he should hang up right fucking now. That's the tone that comes before "Just one more line, okay?" or "They're paying top dollar, Jay, come on."
"Whatever you're going to ask, the answer's no." He swallows and his throat feels scratchy.
"It's just a party in the Hills, I just need a wingman's all. You wouldn't even have to do anyone; just drink some free champagne and look pretty. "
Chad must be really high if he expects Jared to believe that. They've both been to more parties in the Hills than Jared can count and he's never just had to stand there and look pretty. It's how he met Jensen, after all.
"Chad," he warns, "just stop, okay?"
Jared needs Chad to stop because there's a part of him that wants to, and he doesn't want to think about that. About the fact that he misses parts of the lifestyle and if he's honest with himself, it's who he really is. If it weren't for Jensen, he'd be there in a second.
"I don't do that shit anymore, you know that." He licks his lips; they're sweet and bitter at the same time. "I have a new life now."
"Yeah, well. The Jared I knew wouldn't leave his best friend hanging."
Oh, fuck you, Chad.
There's a long pause and Chad exhales through his nose.
"Man, I'm sorry, that was. Fuck. Forget it. I suck. I'm the biggest piece of shit that ever lived."
"Oh my God. You are such a drama queen." Jared pays at the cash register, holding his phone under his ear, and walks outside. "Call me later, okay? We can do breakfast tomorrow or something."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Chad sighs and hangs up.
Ten minutes later, Jared gets a call from his agent. The good news, she says, is that the network loved him. The bad news is that they've gone with someone else, because they just felt that Jared wasn't... innocent enough.
He calls Jensen, but it goes to voicemail and his mailbox is full and Jared feels the knot in his stomach winding tighter and tighter.
The thing is, he does look innocent. He gave a reading that couldn't have been more sensitive and naive if he'd tried. Half a bottle of vodka later it hits him that he recognized the exec in the Armani suit and the D and G tie. They'd met before.
Maybe Jared should've just dropped to his knees then and there, since that seems to be the only currency anyone understands in this town. Maybe his subconscious was trying to tell him just that. Wasn't so much a dream as a premonition.
It's pretty obvious that this gig wasn't meant to be, but how many opportunities like that are going to come up, and even if they do, what's to stop the same thing from happening again?
Chad always says, "Once a whore, always a whore." Now Jared knows exactly what he means.
Jared's a pretty decent actor, but he was a fucking great hooker and as he works his way through the rest of the bottle he wonders which profession is worse. They're both fake and they're both full of fucked-up, fucked-out head cases, and maybe Jared was just kidding himself by quitting in the first place. Maybe this is exactly who he's supposed to be.
It takes him an hour to finally call Chad back and ask what time Chad's picking him up.
***
Chad arrives at nine and Jared's only half-dressed. He's freshly showered, his hair still a little damp, and he hasn't decided what shirt he's going to wear. Chad walks in, takes one look at his wardrobe and throws a black, sleeveless button-down at him.
"Got anything to drink around here?"
"Kitchen's through there." Jared gestures. "And, dude, I can dress myself quite capably, thank you."
"Uh-huh." Chad comes back in with two beers. "That's why you were standing there looking like you always do: wet, hot and bewildered. Let's face it, Jay. You don't know what looks best on you. I do." He grins and knocks back his beer. Jared sighs and buttons the shirt. It fits super-tight across his chest, but that's really the point, and Chad's staring at him appraisingly, nodding.
"See? I told you."
"Yes, Mom. You always know best." Jared grabs his beer from Chad and drinks.
Jared's hesitation has less to do with choosing an outfit and more with What the fuck are you doing, Padalecki? But he can't start thinking about that, because if he does then he'll have to try to make sense of why exactly he's doing this in the first place, and that would mean he'd have to admit that what he's doing is cheating on Jensen. Sure, he's going as Chad's wingman but he fucking well knows what happens at parties in the Hills and he agreed to go anyway.
It may not technically be cheating, but he feels like it is and he's sure as hell Jensen'll think so, too.
Jensen left a voicemail message while Jared was in the shower. Jared could barely hear him over the thump-thump of the music, and he guesses Jensen's at a club with his co-stars, probably lounging on some sofa, drinking far too much champagne and flirting with pretty, starfucking boys left, right and center. Jared hates it when Jensen gets recognized when they're together, feels like he doesn't exist and he's sick of not existing. So really, he isn't about to do anything Jensen isn't probably already doing.
By the time he drains his beer, he feels like maybe he could almost believe that.
Continued in Part Two
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