Loves complicated, being in love isnt - Chapter 3
Loves complicated, being in love isnt - Chapter 3
Authors Notes: This is my first ever fanfic so please be nice. The basic idea of this fic is that it follows the storyline the way that it has been played out on screen, but I will just be showing it from Sians P.O.V and maybe sometimes Sophies P.O.V
Sorry this is abit rushed, I managed to delete it twice and had to re-write it again.
Song is by Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
Dont do it Sian, dont believe him you know hes lying, besides hes not the one you love is he? No the person I love is leaving me, crushed and broken, and its all my fault. I had to go and say I believed him, great nice one Sian you freakin idiot! How did I get into this mess? Ive just chosen to believe my boyfriend over my bestfriend, the girl that owns me. Deep down I think I know Ryan did try and kiss Soph....the thought of that just makes me feel sick, him touching my Sophie! Truth is I know Ryan kissed her, I can tell by the way hes acting. But I dont know why I still chose to believe his lies and pick him over the love of my life. Wait you know exactly why Sian! Im too scared. If I believed Sophie it would mean the end of me and Ryan, thats not what worries me, infact it wouldnt bother me atall. What really worries me if I was single I wouldnt have anything to hide behind, no reason to not tell Sophie how I really feel, and that scares me the most. Choosing Ryan makes my life easier, less complicated. But now I think about it, I dont want a easy life, I want excitement, I want to experience the ups and downs of love, I want complicated, I want Sophie. Ryans sat with his arm placed protectively around me, going on about how much of a liar Sophie is and how im better off without her. He doesnt even realize the tears falling down my face. OH GOD! what have I done?! Ive made my choice and I have to stick by it, but how can I do that when it means living an lie, missing part of me and feeling incomplete?
----------xS&Sx----------
All I can picture is the hurt expression on Sophies face as she left, its killing me knowing I caused it, and I could just of easily prevented it, but I didnt because that would just be to simple, and apparently I like making my life harder and more confusing than it needs to be. Im broken from my thoughts as I receive a text, im glad for the interruption, anything to stop me thinking about her. Oh great the text is from her, even though I wish it wasnt I cant help but smile a little to myself. I want to tell Sophie how much she means to me, that I take back what I said, that I love her, always have and always will. But of course that would just freak her out, and I want it to be said face to face not through text. I want to be able to show her exactly how much she means to me, rid her of any fears and doubts she has in her mind. I cant even tell her im sorry. Ryans peering over my shoulder, reading my text so all I can do is tell her to leave me alone and delete her number. Why did you just do that Sian?! I can see the smug grin on Ryans face, thinking hes got away with this. I cant take this anymore I need to tell Sophie how I feel, its tearing me apart trying to hide all these feeling and emotions I have. I cant do it anymore, its not fair on me or her, she deserves the truth. I sit there thinking of a plan, I smile to myself as I think of a way to get rid of Ryan, I need to start putting my plan into action. I cant go on like this, I wont live a lie anymore, even if Sophie runs and leaves me, atleast she will know and I wont have to carry this secret around with me anymore. That should be enough right? No, its not enough I need her and I will get her no matter what, I want to be the one she wakes next to in the morning, I want to be able to kiss and hold her, be the first thing on her mind when she wakes up, and the last thing she thinks about when she falls asleep. Theres nothing I wouldnt do just to see her smile, I want to be the one who causes her to smile each and every day. Shes just to perfect to let go of, I have to tell her, and I will as soon as I get rid of Ryan, and I know just how to do it. I turn my music on in and attempt to drown Ryan out and allow thoughts of her to enter my mind. I smile to myself the words remind me so much of her. Im finally going to tell her the truth.
'This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting
Will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holdin' my breath
Right up till the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with'