Loves complicated, being in love isnt - Chapter 2
Authors Notes: This is my first ever fanfic so please be nice. The basic idea of this fic is that it follows the storyline the way that it has been played out on screen, but I will just be showing it from Sians P.O.V and maybe sometimes Sophies P.O.V
I do not own any of the characters they all belong to Coronation Street on ITV 1
Sorry if its not very good, im going to be really busy over the next few days and really wanted to get an update up before i get too busy, and i wrote this when i was supposed to be doing work, so i got abit distracted! Dont worry there will be more drama in the next chapter, im just trying to build up to it! :) Sorry for any spelling mistakes.
Im on my way to meet Sophie, its been 5 days since I last saw her, we text and phone eachother all the time, but its just not the same, I need to see her, just so she can take my breath away and make me fall in love with her all over again. But right now I honestly wish the ground would just collapse beneath me, taking me with it. I promised myself the next time I saw her I would tell her how I really feel, let her know exactly what she means to me and how much its killing me not being with her. But then again ive never been very good at keeping promises. You would think I'd be happy about seeing Soph, and well I am but its just the reason why were meeting thats annoying me. You see I stupidly agreed to help Ryan set his mate Lee up with Sophie. Ive been cursing myself for it ever since. Now as im on my way back to see the girl I love, all thoughts of her are clouded, I try and picture her, her perfect face, smile, laugh, well shes just perfect but all I can think about is this dweeb Lee. Why did you agree to this Sian?! Actually I know exactly why im doing this, I want to test her, see if she really feels the way I do, in the hope that it may somehow give me the strength to tell her how I really feel. How she is my world, and when I leave her, my world collapses in. The thing that worries me the most is the thing that I also wish for the most, if she gave me a sign she is waiting for me, what if that happens, what the flamin hell should I do?! What do I do if this stupid plan of Ryans goes wrong and she actually likes Lee? Dam Sian you really didnt think this through! I close my eyes, in the hope that my thoughts will be overtaken by her, and it works, for a short while then i start repeating 'what if my plan goes wrong' over and over again silently to myself. If she choses him over me, I honestly wouldnt know what to do, I would be so lost, living a lie and only half a life. Wait, thats what im doing now. Dam it shut up and stop thinking Sian! For me there is no life without Soph, she is my life, and its killing me knowing someone has so much control over me and isnt even aware of it. Has the power to control me with just one single word, touch or look. I trust her, I really do. Problem is I just dont trust myself, how do I know I wouldnt end up hurting her? causing her more problems than she needs, no I couldnt do that to her, I wouldnt. But what if im hurting her by being with Ryan, this is so confusing! love is confusing, one thing im sure of is I love her and I cant imagine a day that I wont, and I dont want to. I want to live for the moment and embrace the feelings I have for her, and see her happy, even if its not with me. Trouble is im too selfish, I love her, I want her, no wait I NEED her, and i'll do whatever it takes to get her.
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Im sat watching a film, wait no let me re-phrase that, im sat pretending to watch a film when really im watching Sophie and more importantly Lee. I dont know how we got in this situation. I dont even remember the last few hours, there just a blurr. Im trying to act normal. How can I act normal when I cant even control my own breathing everytime i look at her! Ryan's paying more attention to me than the film, I should just be grateful its dark and I cant see his face or hair properly. I can see Sophie giving awkward glances towards me, shes sat away from Lee just watching the film, and I feel so bad that she has to sit and watch Ryan all over me. Im subtly trying to tell him to just leave me alone, but once again his ego gets the better of him and he wont take no for an answer. Shes just done it again, looked at me when she thinks im not looking, I am, how can I not be looking at her, shes amazing, no amazing isnt a good enough word to describe her, shes everything I want and need, shes just out of this world. But on the bright side, shes practically sitting half off the sofa just to get away from Lee, this should make me happier, and on the surface it does, but deep down its killing me. Im sure she wants me, and shes trying to show me this now. I just cant do anything about it, now isnt a good time. What are you saying Sian? you will never find a good time to tell your best friend your completely and madly in love with her! For now im just going to relax knowing shes in the same room as me, that I have her in my life, even if it is just as my friend. That should be enough right?
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The past few hours arent a blurr, but I wish they were. Im sat with Sophie, laughing and joking like nothings changed, like I dont have these feelings for her. But all I can think about is the fact Sophie rejected Lee's advances. When she stormed out of Ryans house I couldnt help the grin that formed on my face, not because she was upset and angry of course not, but because I honestly believe she wants me just as much as I want her. This time I knew what I was doing, I knew I was following Sophie and once again leaving Ryan, but I really couldnt care less. Ryans merely a good excuse for me to come back and visit Sophie as often as possible, he just makes me appear normal to small minded people. But what I have isnt normal, no its anything from normal, its special, unique, amazing, and its pure love and adoration for her, the girl I plan on spending the rest of my life with, experiencing the ups and downs of love with, because thats something I will never experience with Ryan. I dont know what Ryan is to me, all I know is that I care about Sophie more than anything else in the world and I wouldnt want it any other way.