Hey, Superheroes Have Movie Nights, Too!
So I saw a prompt on the Watchmen Kinkmeme about the Watchmen gang watching The Incredibles, so I slammed something out! At four in the morning! And finished at six in the morning! So I got three hours of sleep! :D Well, without further delay, here it is!!
“Settle down, everyone! Can we please pretend to be civil for once?” Adrian pleaded, the pout crystal clear in Dan’s mind’s eye, even if he wasn’t looking at the man, too bus struggling Rorschach back down into the seat next to him. “Normally we can at least manage to get the movie in the VCR before someone pulls a death threat.”
“Not watching Mean Girls,” was all Rorschach managed to grind out, glare practically burning straight through his angrily shifting mask and into the back of Laurie’s head, who was making a show of flipping her hair and ignoring him.
“Okay, buddy, nobody said we’d decided on that one, Laurie just suggested it. But you know, it’s really not all that-“ The way Rorschach’s head snapped to look at him, black and white swirling accusingly, was enough for Dan to cut off mid-sentence, clearing his throat and hastily back-tracking. “U-uh, y’know, if you watched that kind of stuff. Which I don’t….”
Mildly placated, Rorschach ‘harrumph’ed, as good a sign as any that at least he wasn’t going to attack anyone. Yet.
“So, Daniel! Which movie did you bring?” Adrian smiled politely, leaning forward a bit on his ridiculously soft purple loveseat, next to an increasingly-bored looking Comedian, who puffed cigar smoke in the thinner man’s direction with a smirk.
“Oh, w-well, I don’t know much about it, I sort of picked it up from the videostore on the way here…. It’s about masked heroes, I think….” Dan looked doubtfully at the videocassette cover he had been holding, suddenly feeling a little foolish. “.… It’s a cartoon. The Incredible, Incredibles, something....” Cue awkward head scratch.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake. I’m outta here,” Eddie said in gravelly exasperation, standing ( ignoring the slight look of disappoint in the man next to him) and sauntering in the direction of Veidt’s kitchen. “Tell me when you kiddos are done with your fuckin’ little Disney parade. An’ where’s your goddamn booze..?”
Laurie, only pausing briefly to roll her eyes at the Comedian’s unceremonious exit, took the initiative. “Well, fine, if we’re not going to watch Mean Girls, which happens to be a fantastic movie,” a pointed glare at Rorschach, as Veidt nodded in solemn agreement, “then I don’t see why not. Put it in right there, Dan.”
“Inappropriate, Laurel,” Rorschach immediately scolded, still hunched back against the flamboyantly hued cushion, arms crossed grumpily. From her chair on the masked man’s other side, Laurie made sure Rorschach caught her over-exaggerated conspiring wink to Dan, which only made Rorschach slouch lower, grumbling about whores and perverts.
“Uhh… right,” Dan supplied awkwardly, heaving himself up out of his seat to push the videocassette into the VCR, trying not to admire the shining new technology too obviously before sitting himself down next to Rorschach again, playfully elbowing him to sit up straighter, which he did so grudgingly. Veidt’s lights automatically dimmed, and whatever joking comment the Nite Owl was going to make next was quieted as the movie began.
“I-Is this thing on?” “Yes, that’s fine, Mr. Incredible…” “Heh, I can break through walls, but I can’t-get-this….”
The movie progressed in relative silence, but sure enough, within the first few minutes the inevitable romantic interest was introduced on via petty crime bust, and Dan cringed slightly as Rorschach tensed. He could almost feel the raging sexist comments building up in his partner.
“We could share, you know….” “I work alone.” “Well I think you need to be more… flexible.”
“Whoressss,” Rorschach hissed accusingly at the television, tightening his hands into fists. “Disgusting whore, corrupting justice, distracting from punishing the maggots just like her. Flexible. See how flexible she is when I wring her-“
“Rorschach. C’mon, creep, it’s a freaking cartoon,” Laurie snapped, jabbing her smoke in Walter’s direction. “Besides, I’d totally pull off that outfit better than her. Moldable body, my ass….” Dan restrained a smile at the look of pure competitive envy in her eyes.
“Shh, we’re missing dialogue!” Adrian hushed, looking every bit as enthralled as a five-year-old. They all sat back and watched at the film continued. They all lapsed into silence.
“What is it? Who are you? What do you want? … My god you’ve gotten fat.”
Even coming from the nasally demanding voice of a cartoon character, Daniel still felt a little instinctively defense, thinking of the countless times Rorschach taunted his weight. Apparently Rorschach was thinking the same thing, judging by the twitch in his cheek that only Dan could recognize through the fabric as a ghost of a smirk. Well, at leas tthis was one character he at least mildly approved of. Mr. Incredible was fat, Dash was disrespectful, Violet wallowed in self-misery, Elastigirl was a whore….
“Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for gods!”
Was that just his mind playing tricks on him, or had Rorschach just nodded slightly? Had Rorschach just nodded… in approval?
“Like DynaGuy! He had such a great look, with the cape and the boots-“ “NO CAPES!”
“Hurmph,” Rorschach grunted, a noise of vague approval. As the eccentric little animated fashion designer prattled off superheroes who had met their tragic ends, Dan tried not to think of the name that was suddenly hanging very heavily on everyone in the room. Except for Rorschach, that is, who was actually leaning forward in his seat now, mumbling approvals and agreements under his breath, with his eyes glued to the screen.
Dan might’ve chuckled if a booming, mirthful voice hadn’t sounded from the kitchen door. “Heh, Dollar Bill coulda learned a few tips from that ratty little munchkin, eh?” Laurie didn’t even waste the effort of rolling her eyes this time, instead making a soft, vaguely disgusted noise as Dan heard the sound of sloshing liquor wander over somewhere behind him and plop into a random chair.
“Not ratty munchkin,” Rorschach retorted with surprising venom. Whether he whispered “genius” under his breath or not, Daniel wasn’t willing to ask.
The movie continued, with the inevitable crude interjection once in a while from the Comedian, mostly about how Rorschach and Syndrome should both run off to the “little island where all the crazy, shrimp sized conspiracy believing gingers go”. Alas, eventually the film ended, and the lights flickered back in to existence, making Dan blink rapidly and rub his eyes.
“So!” Adrian piped, at once smiling and chipper, “Opinions? Personally I thought the villain was portrayed very well. He wasn’t evil at all, just misunderstood, and doing what he thought was best….”
“I don’t care what the hell the bad guy was thinking,” Laurie shrugged. “All I know is that not a one of the women in that movie knew what a real body was. That emo chick was so damn skinny I could snap her like a toothpick!”
Ozymandias looked to Rorschach expectantly, who grunted noncommittally, which was the best any of them could have expected.
“I thought it was alright,” Dan offered as he stretched his arms a bit. “Sure does put what we’ve all been through in a funny perspective, huh?”
“That it does, Daniel,” Veidt smiled, standing and waiting patiently as everyone followed suit. “Well, it’s been much fun. Same time, next week, everyone? Maybe Laurie’s choice?” The knowing look exchanged between the two was unmistakable. Mean Girls.
“Sounds good, man,” Daniel smiled, ejecting the videocassette and shutting it back into the case. “See you then.”
Long after Dan and Rorschach had left the high-rise building and were walking down the street, his redheaded partner finally spoke up, voice colored with his a hint of sheepishness. “Daniel… can we rent that movie again?”
“Settle down, everyone! Can we please pretend to be civil for once?” Adrian pleaded, the pout crystal clear in Dan’s mind’s eye, even if he wasn’t looking at the man, too bus struggling Rorschach back down into the seat next to him. “Normally we can at least manage to get the movie in the VCR before someone pulls a death threat.”
“Not watching Mean Girls,” was all Rorschach managed to grind out, glare practically burning straight through his angrily shifting mask and into the back of Laurie’s head, who was making a show of flipping her hair and ignoring him.
“Okay, buddy, nobody said we’d decided on that one, Laurie just suggested it. But you know, it’s really not all that-“ The way Rorschach’s head snapped to look at him, black and white swirling accusingly, was enough for Dan to cut off mid-sentence, clearing his throat and hastily back-tracking. “U-uh, y’know, if you watched that kind of stuff. Which I don’t….”
Mildly placated, Rorschach ‘harrumph’ed, as good a sign as any that at least he wasn’t going to attack anyone. Yet.
“So, Daniel! Which movie did you bring?” Adrian smiled politely, leaning forward a bit on his ridiculously soft purple loveseat, next to an increasingly-bored looking Comedian, who puffed cigar smoke in the thinner man’s direction with a smirk.
“Oh, w-well, I don’t know much about it, I sort of picked it up from the videostore on the way here…. It’s about masked heroes, I think….” Dan looked doubtfully at the videocassette cover he had been holding, suddenly feeling a little foolish. “.… It’s a cartoon. The Incredible, Incredibles, something....” Cue awkward head scratch.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake. I’m outta here,” Eddie said in gravelly exasperation, standing ( ignoring the slight look of disappoint in the man next to him) and sauntering in the direction of Veidt’s kitchen. “Tell me when you kiddos are done with your fuckin’ little Disney parade. An’ where’s your goddamn booze..?”
Laurie, only pausing briefly to roll her eyes at the Comedian’s unceremonious exit, took the initiative. “Well, fine, if we’re not going to watch Mean Girls, which happens to be a fantastic movie,” a pointed glare at Rorschach, as Veidt nodded in solemn agreement, “then I don’t see why not. Put it in right there, Dan.”
“Inappropriate, Laurel,” Rorschach immediately scolded, still hunched back against the flamboyantly hued cushion, arms crossed grumpily. From her chair on the masked man’s other side, Laurie made sure Rorschach caught her over-exaggerated conspiring wink to Dan, which only made Rorschach slouch lower, grumbling about whores and perverts.
“Uhh… right,” Dan supplied awkwardly, heaving himself up out of his seat to push the videocassette into the VCR, trying not to admire the shining new technology too obviously before sitting himself down next to Rorschach again, playfully elbowing him to sit up straighter, which he did so grudgingly. Veidt’s lights automatically dimmed, and whatever joking comment the Nite Owl was going to make next was quieted as the movie began.
“I-Is this thing on?” “Yes, that’s fine, Mr. Incredible…” “Heh, I can break through walls, but I can’t-get-this….”
The movie progressed in relative silence, but sure enough, within the first few minutes the inevitable romantic interest was introduced on via petty crime bust, and Dan cringed slightly as Rorschach tensed. He could almost feel the raging sexist comments building up in his partner.
“We could share, you know….” “I work alone.” “Well I think you need to be more… flexible.”
“Whoressss,” Rorschach hissed accusingly at the television, tightening his hands into fists. “Disgusting whore, corrupting justice, distracting from punishing the maggots just like her. Flexible. See how flexible she is when I wring her-“
“Rorschach. C’mon, creep, it’s a freaking cartoon,” Laurie snapped, jabbing her smoke in Walter’s direction. “Besides, I’d totally pull off that outfit better than her. Moldable body, my ass….” Dan restrained a smile at the look of pure competitive envy in her eyes.
“Shh, we’re missing dialogue!” Adrian hushed, looking every bit as enthralled as a five-year-old. They all sat back and watched at the film continued. They all lapsed into silence.
“What is it? Who are you? What do you want? … My god you’ve gotten fat.”
Even coming from the nasally demanding voice of a cartoon character, Daniel still felt a little instinctively defense, thinking of the countless times Rorschach taunted his weight. Apparently Rorschach was thinking the same thing, judging by the twitch in his cheek that only Dan could recognize through the fabric as a ghost of a smirk. Well, at leas tthis was one character he at least mildly approved of. Mr. Incredible was fat, Dash was disrespectful, Violet wallowed in self-misery, Elastigirl was a whore….
“Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for gods!”
Was that just his mind playing tricks on him, or had Rorschach just nodded slightly? Had Rorschach just nodded… in approval?
“Like DynaGuy! He had such a great look, with the cape and the boots-“ “NO CAPES!”
“Hurmph,” Rorschach grunted, a noise of vague approval. As the eccentric little animated fashion designer prattled off superheroes who had met their tragic ends, Dan tried not to think of the name that was suddenly hanging very heavily on everyone in the room. Except for Rorschach, that is, who was actually leaning forward in his seat now, mumbling approvals and agreements under his breath, with his eyes glued to the screen.
Dan might’ve chuckled if a booming, mirthful voice hadn’t sounded from the kitchen door. “Heh, Dollar Bill coulda learned a few tips from that ratty little munchkin, eh?” Laurie didn’t even waste the effort of rolling her eyes this time, instead making a soft, vaguely disgusted noise as Dan heard the sound of sloshing liquor wander over somewhere behind him and plop into a random chair.
“Not ratty munchkin,” Rorschach retorted with surprising venom. Whether he whispered “genius” under his breath or not, Daniel wasn’t willing to ask.
The movie continued, with the inevitable crude interjection once in a while from the Comedian, mostly about how Rorschach and Syndrome should both run off to the “little island where all the crazy, shrimp sized conspiracy believing gingers go”. Alas, eventually the film ended, and the lights flickered back in to existence, making Dan blink rapidly and rub his eyes.
“So!” Adrian piped, at once smiling and chipper, “Opinions? Personally I thought the villain was portrayed very well. He wasn’t evil at all, just misunderstood, and doing what he thought was best….”
“I don’t care what the hell the bad guy was thinking,” Laurie shrugged. “All I know is that not a one of the women in that movie knew what a real body was. That emo chick was so damn skinny I could snap her like a toothpick!”
Ozymandias looked to Rorschach expectantly, who grunted noncommittally, which was the best any of them could have expected.
“I thought it was alright,” Dan offered as he stretched his arms a bit. “Sure does put what we’ve all been through in a funny perspective, huh?”
“That it does, Daniel,” Veidt smiled, standing and waiting patiently as everyone followed suit. “Well, it’s been much fun. Same time, next week, everyone? Maybe Laurie’s choice?” The knowing look exchanged between the two was unmistakable. Mean Girls.
“Sounds good, man,” Daniel smiled, ejecting the videocassette and shutting it back into the case. “See you then.”
Long after Dan and Rorschach had left the high-rise building and were walking down the street, his redheaded partner finally spoke up, voice colored with his a hint of sheepishness. “Daniel… can we rent that movie again?”