P is for Pie'n'Burger, Part 2
P is for Pie'n'Burger, Part 2
Characters: Amita and Megan (Not Slash)
Pairings: Pre-Charlie/Amita, Pre-Larry/Megan
Author: Jelsemium
Rating: T for suggestive language
Author's Warning: No drinking
For the 2006 Alphabet Challenge Story
They managed to arrive just as a surge of undergraduates departed for classes and were quickly shown to a table by a very attentive waiter.
They both ordered iced tea as they read the menu.
As they waited, Megan pulled a brightly colored envelope from her purse. Amita recognized it right away as she was the one who had printed them up and mailed them. "Let me guess," she said. "You need an idea for a birthday present for Larry."
"Exactly," Megan said. "And I have no idea what to get a scientist. What did you get Charlie for his birthday?"
Amita grinned wickedly. "A subscription to the condom of the month club."
She had no one but herself to blame for getting a faceful of iced tea.
"You… you didn't!" sputtered Megan. She grabbed her napkin and wiped up the mess as best that she could.
Amita wiped off her face, and then mopped up her side of the table. "Of course not," she giggled. "Honestly, Megan, subtlety is wasted on that man." She sighed.
Megan rubbed at her eyes. "Sorry to hear you've been having problems," she said. "But honestly, Amita, I really did not need the image of Charlie dressed in nothing but…"
Both women burst out laughing. Fortunately for the waiter, he chose that moment to arrive with their food, thus sparing his tender ears from the shock of their topic.
"Yum, food," Amita said, digging into her veggie burger.
Megan approached her food more circumspectly. Burgers at the Pie'n'Burger were extremely juicy and unwary diners would wind up looking as if they had been dressed by Jackson Pollack.
After she had made some serious inroads on her meal, Megan wondered how to broach the other topic that had brought her to CalSci.
"So, is that all you wanted today?" Amita asked. "Nothing for Charlie to work on?"
Megan shook her head. "Actually, I have another question for you."
Amita stopped eating and looked attentive.
"I'm … well, I'm worried about Larry," Megan confessed.
Amita was taken aback. "Um," she said. She cast her mind back to the past few months to see if Larry had exhibited any signs of distress, but couldn't think of any.
"I can't imagine why," she confessed. "He seems his… well, normal isn't an adjective I'd apply to Larry, but he seems his usual happily eccentric self."
Her brow wrinkled and she rested her hands on the table. "Has he said something to you?"
Megan shook her head. "No, no he hasn't said anything…" she looked around, almost furtively."I just noticed his name in the list of the Syntel investors."
Amita's brow smoothed. "Oh, that. Yeah, I heard he took a bath in the Syntel scam." She shook her head again. "But he's got a good paying job, really. And he also invested in Google."
"So… his selling the Victorian…?" Megan asked.
Amita chortled. Megan noted several male heads to whip around dangerously.
"Larry decided that he had too much clutter in his life," Amita explained. "And that the best way to cut down on the clutter was to get rid of the clutter container."
Megan stared for a few moments before bursting into laughter herself. This time, she did not notice the swiveling heads of the male admirers. "Oh, he's got a point," Megan said. "Even if it is a tad extreme."
Amita smiled and shrugged. "The man lives his theories," she said. "He is very honest that way." She studied Megan for a few moments. (Many of the other diners were studying both of them, Megan noticed.) "You like him, don't you? In a romantic way," she added, so as not to leave Megan any wiggle room.
Megan smiled tightly and Amita wondered if she had overstepped. "I suppose it seems kinda strange, a misalliance, even. A hard-ass like me getting together with a refined and gentle soul like him."
Amita made a face. "Or that a beautiful, elegant woman like you would get involved with an oddball geek like Larry?"
Megan blinked. "Um, I never thought of it like that."
Amita shook her head, causing her curls to bounce and her neighbors to sigh. "You can never tell," she said. "On paper, Charlie and I look like an idea match. We're both academicians who are not only interested in math, but whose mathematical interests complement each other."
She fiddled with the food on her plate. "We've worked together for years… worked well together for years. We can produce better results together than we can apart." She sighed. "We even like the same kind of music, the same kind of movies and the same sports."
"And yet, it isn't working," Megan guessed.
Amita shook her head. "No. Part of it is because we're at such different places in our careers. He's an established, tenured… No, Charlie is more than established. He's a star in the mathematical universe. I'm not even off the ground yet."
Amita finished her tea and fiddled with the glass, absently drawing designs against its sides.
Megan sipped her tea and waited. The waiter swung by their table to refill their drinks and collect a smile from Megan.
After a few minutes, Amita continued. "I need to do things that he's already accomplished. I have restrictions on my options that he doesn't have any more."
"Because you're a woman?" Megan asked.
Amita shook her head. "Because I don't have tenure. I'm at the bottom of the food chain, Megan. I take what the Powers that Be allow me."
"Whereas Charlie…" Megan prompted.
"Charlie is a power that be," Amita frowned. "That was so ungrammatical."
Megan grinned. "Don't worry about it," she said. "I know what you mean."
"On the other hand," Amita continued, a trace of irony entering her voice. "I can do things that Charlie could get in trouble for, like have a life."
Megan's brow puckered. "Ah, because he's so much in the limelight."
Amita nodded. "When I was a student, I could, of course, flirt with other students. Even as a post doc, nobody would think twice about it."
"And if Charlie even looks at a student wrong…" Megan let it trail off. Neither needed that picture painted.
Amita turned her attention to her fries. She read a scientific study that showed that French fries started losing their flavor after ten minutes and she didn't want to put that to the test.
"And it's not just our professional lives that are out of sync, either," Amita continued. She was focused on her fries and Megan knew that the younger woman was approaching a sensitive subject. "There's the matter of our personal life."
Megan's eyebrows disappeared into her fringy bangs. "Personal life?" she prompted.
"Yeah, you know, that hypothetical time period when you are conscious, yet not doing tasks directly related to earning a living or paying taxes."
Megan put an exaggerated look of interest on her face. "Has that ever been proven to exist? I thought it was only theoretical!"
"Well, it hasn't been completely disproved yet," Amita said dryly. "However, I did have some success in researching the subject back when I was an undergraduate."
"Ah, youth," Megan sighed. "I remember my undergrad years well, school work and classes crammed in somewhere between dating, socializing, partying, entertaining and… oh, what was that last thing?"
"Sleep?" Amita suggested.
Megan shrugged. "Well, there was a bed involved," she admitted.
Amita reached across the table and smacked her forearm. "You are so bad!"
"This from little miss 'condom of the month'."
"You're right," Amita said sadly. "I should have gone for the condom of the week club."
Megan chortled.
"I mean, once the kid gloves come off," Amita said.
"The kids come in?"
Amita nodded. Then she sighed. "Talk about losing your free time," she said. "Which is another sticking point right now." She stirred her ice cubes moodily.
"You don't want children?" Megan asked, tilting her head.
One of the mechanical design students sketched her profile and neck on his napkin.
"I do, eventually," Amita said. "I love kids and I think I'd be a good mother. But, well, as I said, my career is just taking off. Charlie, however, is at the point where he wants children sooner rather than later," Amita said slowly. "And even if he didn't…"
Megan nodded. "Alan wants grandchildren, so I've heard."
Amita giggled. "It's probably a better known secret than the fact that Clark Kent is superman."
Megan laughed.
The attentive waiter appeared at their elbows. "Have you lovely ladies left room for pie?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah," Amita said. "I need a box for the rest of my sandwich, though," she added.
"Right away," the waiter tilted his head in Megan's direction, but her burger was long gone.
"Strawberry?" Amita suggested.
"Strawberry," Megan confirmed. "In fact, why don't you bring us an entire pie to go," she said to the waiter. "Larry and Charlie will need something to resuscitate them from that awful luncheon."
"You are a true angel of mercy," Amita chortled.
That got a woof of laughter out of Megan. "Don't tell David and Colby, they'll lose their fear of me," she said.
The waiter returned with a box. Megan watched Amita pack her sandwich. "So, is this your subtle way of telling me that Larry wants children?" she asked curiously.
Amita sat up straighter. "It was subtle? Oh, good, I was afraid that I was being obnoxiously obvious," she quipped.
She hesitated, then added, "Well, I know that Larry has mentioned wanting children in the not too distant past," she said. "I believe he even mentioned the possibility of adoption."
Megan's expression went thoughtful. "And that would hamper my career in the field, at least for the duration of the pregnancy."
"Not that it's any of my business," Amita added hastily.
Megan grinned. "No offense taken," she said. "Larry and I aren't exactly at that point, but it is something I need to keep in mind." She sighed. "While interesting, none of this helps with the current dilemma of deciding what to get Larry for his birthday."
"Maybe I can help with that," Amita said.
"Well, if you can't then I pretty much wasted my afternoon," Megan teased.
Amita stuck her tongue out.
"Two professors at the University College of London have created a formula to help men with their courtship rituals."
"Amita, word of advice," Megan interrupted.
"What?"
"Marry. Charlie. Now."
Amita burst into laughter again, causing several more male heads to whip around. This time, Megan was sure one of the elderly men started to rub his neck afterwards. "No, seriously, Sozou and Seymour have calculated that the best gift that a man can give to his lady-love is something that is expensive, but worthless."
Megan frowned. "How can something expensive be worthless?" she asked with a shake of her head.
Amita rubbed her lower lip. "Well, worthless isn't perhaps the best word. Basically, it falls down to this. Men want women who can bear children. Women want men who can provide, or at least help provide, for them when they are vulnerable."
"You mean, when they are pregnant and when they have dependent children," Megan said.
Amita nodded. "Exactly. Well, men generally prove what kind of provider they are by giving expensive gifts."
Megan nodded.
"However, men don't want to give presents that are going to wind up benefiting other men, like a house, or even jewelry."
"Or the condom of the month club," Megan added.
Amita put her face in her hands and laughed and blushed. "Oh, I'm not going to live that one down, am I?"
"Not anytime soon," Megan said. "In fact, I can't wait for you to have teenagers."
Amita was still shaking with laughter. "Oh, you're brutal!'
"I find that hard to believe, from such an elegant lady," the waiter said gallantly as he delivered their pie and the check.
"You have no idea," Megan said with a smile.
"Here is your strawberry pie. I added napkins, flatware and plastic plates for my favorite customers," the waiter said, grinning.
"Oh, I bet you say that to every customer," Amita teased.
The waiter righteously shook his head. "Only the most exceptionally beautiful patrons get flattered so outrageously," he declared.
Megan and Amita laughed, neither believing herself to be 'beautiful' for a moment.
"I'll be back for the check in a minute," the waiter said. He popped off to wait on his other patrons.
"Thanks," Megan replied. To Amita she said, "What kind of tip should I leave?" she asked.
Amita shrugged. "I usually leave fifteen percent, but he's been so nice, maybe twenty?
"Twenty it is," Megan said. She put the money in the folder and stood up.
"Anyway," Amita said, once she caught her breath. "Sozou and Seymour suggested things like flowers, dinners out or tickets to shows." She slid out of the booth.
Both women looked at each other and inspiration lit both their faces, much to the pleasure of their audience.
"Car show?" Amita said.
"L'concourse d'elegance," Megan said.
"Snob," Amita giggled, the tip of her tongue appeared briefly.
"Whatever," Megan said. "I wonder what shows are coming up?"
"We can Google them from my office," Amita said.
"Lay on, Mac Duff," Megan said.
They walked out of the Pie'n'Burger without noticing the disappointment of the male patrons.
Characters: Amita and Megan (Not Slash)
Pairings: Pre-Charlie/Amita, Pre-Larry/Megan
Author: Jelsemium
Rating: T for suggestive language
Author's Warning: No drinking
For the 2006 Alphabet Challenge Story
They managed to arrive just as a surge of undergraduates departed for classes and were quickly shown to a table by a very attentive waiter.
They both ordered iced tea as they read the menu.
As they waited, Megan pulled a brightly colored envelope from her purse. Amita recognized it right away as she was the one who had printed them up and mailed them. "Let me guess," she said. "You need an idea for a birthday present for Larry."
"Exactly," Megan said. "And I have no idea what to get a scientist. What did you get Charlie for his birthday?"
Amita grinned wickedly. "A subscription to the condom of the month club."
She had no one but herself to blame for getting a faceful of iced tea.
"You… you didn't!" sputtered Megan. She grabbed her napkin and wiped up the mess as best that she could.
Amita wiped off her face, and then mopped up her side of the table. "Of course not," she giggled. "Honestly, Megan, subtlety is wasted on that man." She sighed.
Megan rubbed at her eyes. "Sorry to hear you've been having problems," she said. "But honestly, Amita, I really did not need the image of Charlie dressed in nothing but…"
Both women burst out laughing. Fortunately for the waiter, he chose that moment to arrive with their food, thus sparing his tender ears from the shock of their topic.
"Yum, food," Amita said, digging into her veggie burger.
Megan approached her food more circumspectly. Burgers at the Pie'n'Burger were extremely juicy and unwary diners would wind up looking as if they had been dressed by Jackson Pollack.
After she had made some serious inroads on her meal, Megan wondered how to broach the other topic that had brought her to CalSci.
"So, is that all you wanted today?" Amita asked. "Nothing for Charlie to work on?"
Megan shook her head. "Actually, I have another question for you."
Amita stopped eating and looked attentive.
"I'm … well, I'm worried about Larry," Megan confessed.
Amita was taken aback. "Um," she said. She cast her mind back to the past few months to see if Larry had exhibited any signs of distress, but couldn't think of any.
"I can't imagine why," she confessed. "He seems his… well, normal isn't an adjective I'd apply to Larry, but he seems his usual happily eccentric self."
Her brow wrinkled and she rested her hands on the table. "Has he said something to you?"
Megan shook her head. "No, no he hasn't said anything…" she looked around, almost furtively."I just noticed his name in the list of the Syntel investors."
Amita's brow smoothed. "Oh, that. Yeah, I heard he took a bath in the Syntel scam." She shook her head again. "But he's got a good paying job, really. And he also invested in Google."
"So… his selling the Victorian…?" Megan asked.
Amita chortled. Megan noted several male heads to whip around dangerously.
"Larry decided that he had too much clutter in his life," Amita explained. "And that the best way to cut down on the clutter was to get rid of the clutter container."
Megan stared for a few moments before bursting into laughter herself. This time, she did not notice the swiveling heads of the male admirers. "Oh, he's got a point," Megan said. "Even if it is a tad extreme."
Amita smiled and shrugged. "The man lives his theories," she said. "He is very honest that way." She studied Megan for a few moments. (Many of the other diners were studying both of them, Megan noticed.) "You like him, don't you? In a romantic way," she added, so as not to leave Megan any wiggle room.
Megan smiled tightly and Amita wondered if she had overstepped. "I suppose it seems kinda strange, a misalliance, even. A hard-ass like me getting together with a refined and gentle soul like him."
Amita made a face. "Or that a beautiful, elegant woman like you would get involved with an oddball geek like Larry?"
Megan blinked. "Um, I never thought of it like that."
Amita shook her head, causing her curls to bounce and her neighbors to sigh. "You can never tell," she said. "On paper, Charlie and I look like an idea match. We're both academicians who are not only interested in math, but whose mathematical interests complement each other."
She fiddled with the food on her plate. "We've worked together for years… worked well together for years. We can produce better results together than we can apart." She sighed. "We even like the same kind of music, the same kind of movies and the same sports."
"And yet, it isn't working," Megan guessed.
Amita shook her head. "No. Part of it is because we're at such different places in our careers. He's an established, tenured… No, Charlie is more than established. He's a star in the mathematical universe. I'm not even off the ground yet."
Amita finished her tea and fiddled with the glass, absently drawing designs against its sides.
Megan sipped her tea and waited. The waiter swung by their table to refill their drinks and collect a smile from Megan.
After a few minutes, Amita continued. "I need to do things that he's already accomplished. I have restrictions on my options that he doesn't have any more."
"Because you're a woman?" Megan asked.
Amita shook her head. "Because I don't have tenure. I'm at the bottom of the food chain, Megan. I take what the Powers that Be allow me."
"Whereas Charlie…" Megan prompted.
"Charlie is a power that be," Amita frowned. "That was so ungrammatical."
Megan grinned. "Don't worry about it," she said. "I know what you mean."
"On the other hand," Amita continued, a trace of irony entering her voice. "I can do things that Charlie could get in trouble for, like have a life."
Megan's brow puckered. "Ah, because he's so much in the limelight."
Amita nodded. "When I was a student, I could, of course, flirt with other students. Even as a post doc, nobody would think twice about it."
"And if Charlie even looks at a student wrong…" Megan let it trail off. Neither needed that picture painted.
Amita turned her attention to her fries. She read a scientific study that showed that French fries started losing their flavor after ten minutes and she didn't want to put that to the test.
"And it's not just our professional lives that are out of sync, either," Amita continued. She was focused on her fries and Megan knew that the younger woman was approaching a sensitive subject. "There's the matter of our personal life."
Megan's eyebrows disappeared into her fringy bangs. "Personal life?" she prompted.
"Yeah, you know, that hypothetical time period when you are conscious, yet not doing tasks directly related to earning a living or paying taxes."
Megan put an exaggerated look of interest on her face. "Has that ever been proven to exist? I thought it was only theoretical!"
"Well, it hasn't been completely disproved yet," Amita said dryly. "However, I did have some success in researching the subject back when I was an undergraduate."
"Ah, youth," Megan sighed. "I remember my undergrad years well, school work and classes crammed in somewhere between dating, socializing, partying, entertaining and… oh, what was that last thing?"
"Sleep?" Amita suggested.
Megan shrugged. "Well, there was a bed involved," she admitted.
Amita reached across the table and smacked her forearm. "You are so bad!"
"This from little miss 'condom of the month'."
"You're right," Amita said sadly. "I should have gone for the condom of the week club."
Megan chortled.
"I mean, once the kid gloves come off," Amita said.
"The kids come in?"
Amita nodded. Then she sighed. "Talk about losing your free time," she said. "Which is another sticking point right now." She stirred her ice cubes moodily.
"You don't want children?" Megan asked, tilting her head.
One of the mechanical design students sketched her profile and neck on his napkin.
"I do, eventually," Amita said. "I love kids and I think I'd be a good mother. But, well, as I said, my career is just taking off. Charlie, however, is at the point where he wants children sooner rather than later," Amita said slowly. "And even if he didn't…"
Megan nodded. "Alan wants grandchildren, so I've heard."
Amita giggled. "It's probably a better known secret than the fact that Clark Kent is superman."
Megan laughed.
The attentive waiter appeared at their elbows. "Have you lovely ladies left room for pie?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah," Amita said. "I need a box for the rest of my sandwich, though," she added.
"Right away," the waiter tilted his head in Megan's direction, but her burger was long gone.
"Strawberry?" Amita suggested.
"Strawberry," Megan confirmed. "In fact, why don't you bring us an entire pie to go," she said to the waiter. "Larry and Charlie will need something to resuscitate them from that awful luncheon."
"You are a true angel of mercy," Amita chortled.
That got a woof of laughter out of Megan. "Don't tell David and Colby, they'll lose their fear of me," she said.
The waiter returned with a box. Megan watched Amita pack her sandwich. "So, is this your subtle way of telling me that Larry wants children?" she asked curiously.
Amita sat up straighter. "It was subtle? Oh, good, I was afraid that I was being obnoxiously obvious," she quipped.
She hesitated, then added, "Well, I know that Larry has mentioned wanting children in the not too distant past," she said. "I believe he even mentioned the possibility of adoption."
Megan's expression went thoughtful. "And that would hamper my career in the field, at least for the duration of the pregnancy."
"Not that it's any of my business," Amita added hastily.
Megan grinned. "No offense taken," she said. "Larry and I aren't exactly at that point, but it is something I need to keep in mind." She sighed. "While interesting, none of this helps with the current dilemma of deciding what to get Larry for his birthday."
"Maybe I can help with that," Amita said.
"Well, if you can't then I pretty much wasted my afternoon," Megan teased.
Amita stuck her tongue out.
"Two professors at the University College of London have created a formula to help men with their courtship rituals."
"Amita, word of advice," Megan interrupted.
"What?"
"Marry. Charlie. Now."
Amita burst into laughter again, causing several more male heads to whip around. This time, Megan was sure one of the elderly men started to rub his neck afterwards. "No, seriously, Sozou and Seymour have calculated that the best gift that a man can give to his lady-love is something that is expensive, but worthless."
Megan frowned. "How can something expensive be worthless?" she asked with a shake of her head.
Amita rubbed her lower lip. "Well, worthless isn't perhaps the best word. Basically, it falls down to this. Men want women who can bear children. Women want men who can provide, or at least help provide, for them when they are vulnerable."
"You mean, when they are pregnant and when they have dependent children," Megan said.
Amita nodded. "Exactly. Well, men generally prove what kind of provider they are by giving expensive gifts."
Megan nodded.
"However, men don't want to give presents that are going to wind up benefiting other men, like a house, or even jewelry."
"Or the condom of the month club," Megan added.
Amita put her face in her hands and laughed and blushed. "Oh, I'm not going to live that one down, am I?"
"Not anytime soon," Megan said. "In fact, I can't wait for you to have teenagers."
Amita was still shaking with laughter. "Oh, you're brutal!'
"I find that hard to believe, from such an elegant lady," the waiter said gallantly as he delivered their pie and the check.
"You have no idea," Megan said with a smile.
"Here is your strawberry pie. I added napkins, flatware and plastic plates for my favorite customers," the waiter said, grinning.
"Oh, I bet you say that to every customer," Amita teased.
The waiter righteously shook his head. "Only the most exceptionally beautiful patrons get flattered so outrageously," he declared.
Megan and Amita laughed, neither believing herself to be 'beautiful' for a moment.
"I'll be back for the check in a minute," the waiter said. He popped off to wait on his other patrons.
"Thanks," Megan replied. To Amita she said, "What kind of tip should I leave?" she asked.
Amita shrugged. "I usually leave fifteen percent, but he's been so nice, maybe twenty?
"Twenty it is," Megan said. She put the money in the folder and stood up.
"Anyway," Amita said, once she caught her breath. "Sozou and Seymour suggested things like flowers, dinners out or tickets to shows." She slid out of the booth.
Both women looked at each other and inspiration lit both their faces, much to the pleasure of their audience.
"Car show?" Amita said.
"L'concourse d'elegance," Megan said.
"Snob," Amita giggled, the tip of her tongue appeared briefly.
"Whatever," Megan said. "I wonder what shows are coming up?"
"We can Google them from my office," Amita said.
"Lay on, Mac Duff," Megan said.
They walked out of the Pie'n'Burger without noticing the disappointment of the male patrons.