Well, this was over the phone, so it's a little difficult to really get a good handle on everything. But in a way, it's really good practice because if you're just doing voices, there's no body language/expression to enhance (I suppose that's the right word) the whole thing. But are you gonna be there in front of people, or are you just gonna record it in a studio and they're just hear the tape?

Either way. The only thing I can really think of that needed work (which i can't even be sure needs work because of the quality over the phone) was the volume and inflection of your voice during the really frustrated/angry/super-emotional parts. But other than that, it's great! Very very good, my friend! Gave me goosebumbs there for a second. :)