Worlds Apart
They may not be extraterrestrials, but Yongguk doesn’t think that Himchan can be anymore alien to him. There are times when this strikes Yongguk as a bit odd considering that he’s known Himchan the longest out of all their group members and that they are the same age, but these moments are few and far between.
It’s not a word that he would normally use to describe another boy (man? They are technically of age, but Yongguk has never felt further from being a man), but Himchan seems, for lack of a better description, delicate. Even before their debut and the layers and layers of makeup and hair products, Himchan has never looked anything but perfect. His almond shaped eyes, the slope of his nose, the way his lips curve up into a smile- all of them come together wrapped up in a flawlessly formed face to make the most beautiful boy Yongguk’s ever seen. Something inside tells him that he should be repulsed, but no; he is fascinated- so so fascinated. He wonders what it would be like to run his fingers through the impeccably styled hair, to feel the smooth skin, to do things so intimate that he can only dream of them.
Despite the otherworldly beauty, Yongguk knows that Himchan holds a burning passion deep inside. He remembers the first time he saw Himchan in the practice rooms a few days after meeting him, still regarding the other as nothing more than an empty headed flower boy. One glance at Himchan practicing so intensely blew away any assumptions Yongguk made about the boy and replaced them with a kind of grudging respect, one that has only grown since that day. Himchan wasn’t just another boy with nothing but a pretty face to show. No. This one, Yongguk knew then, this one had the talent and determination to make it big. And he wanted to be there when it happened.
But the instances when Himchan feels most unearthly to Yongguk are when he plays his traditional instruments. The moment Himchan hits that first beat or note, it’s as though he’s in a completely different world. Nothing around him matters- just the instrument and the song that flows from his hands. It’s in these moments that Yongguk finds Himchan the most unreachable, beautiful, flawless. Yongguk isn’t a masochist, but he treasures every time he gets to see Himchan playing those instruments, even if it always reminds him just how far they are from one another.
But Yongguk supposes that it’s okay. Even if he can never reach Himchan, they can still stand together, side by side, leader and commander. They can still train together, perform together, laugh and cry together, grow up together. And that is more than enough for Yongguk.
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In all his time trying to make it big in the entertainment industry, Himchan has seen a great variety of people, but Bang Yongguk is something else entirely.
Being a very good looking person (even if he does say so himself), Himchan has always attracted and been attracted to similarly good looking people. So he was definitely taken aback by his interest in Yongguk when he first met the other. Yongguk isn’t bad; he just isn’t the best looking guy around (then again, it is hard to be the best looking guy around with Himchan being there and all). He has an okay face. His eyes are too small, his nose is a little too large, and his smile just about shows his gums. Also, he scowls at the camera in such a frightening manner constantly that Himchan wonders if his face will one day freeze that way.
But he has appeal- a certain kind of allure that just draws people in, and Himchan is no exception. Yongguk never seems to particularly care about his outward appearance, but Himchan swears that simple jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap have never looked better on anyone else. Himchan personally likes wife beaters on him though, because even though Yongguk isn’t the most built person out there, his arms are quite a sight to behold. Yongguk also seems to have the ability to pull off any look that is thrown at him. Brown, black, blonde, red (oh god, that red)- no matter what color his hair is, he manages to look as cool as ever. But Himchan’s favorite part of Yongguk’s appearance has got to be his smile. He always smiles widely, gums be damned, with a hint of shyness as though the expression is foreign to him. His eyes get smaller, but the twinkle in them shines brighter than ever. Himchan has never seen such an imperfectly perfect smile, and it scares him, but he knows that he would do anything to make sure that smile never goes away.
Yongguk is, without a doubt, one of the most gifted people Himchan has ever met. Not only does he have that deep, husky voice going for him, he also has hard work backing up that natural born talent. Himchan remembers accidentally walking in on Yongguk in one of the practice rooms back when he first joined the company. The raw passion that met him was astounding, and Himchan was rendered speechless for a moment or two before the shock was replaced by overwhelming feelings of awe and respect. There was no doubt about it; Yongguk was going to be the next big thing. Himchan walked away from that day with a new determination: to stand proudly by Yongguk’s side as an equal when that happened.
Under the rough, powerful image, Himchan knows that Yongguk is secretly a softy. He’s seen the way Yongguk smiles so affectionately at their Secret sunbaes. He’s seen firsthand Yongguk’s method of leading the group with a firm, but gentle hand. He’s seen how Yongguk occasionally pats Zelo kindly on the head, knowing that their magnae, despite appearances, is the least ready of them to be thrown head first into the cruel world of the entertainment industry. Yongguk is a great man, far greater than Himchan ever thinks he himself could be.
Himchan wonders if he can ever actually be Yongguk’s equal, but in the end, he decides that none of it matters. He has a lifetime to work towards that goal, so in the meantime, he will follow his leader wherever he leads him. And that is more than enough for Himchan.