Zero Hour Part 2

[numbuh_009]

Title: Zero Hour
Pairing: Yongguk/Himchan
Minor Pairings: Daehyun/Jongup, Youngjae/Zelo
Part: 2
Rating: PG-13
Genre: drama
Disclaimer: they own each other
Warnings: language
Summary: A bank robbery gone wrong has life-changing consequences.

Comments

[makeminelime]

Hi~

I really liked this! :3 Himchan as a negotiator... :Q______ DaeJong~ was so cute! XD
What I really liked was how you wrote from each member's perspective. Also, how every paragraph started with a letter from the alphabet... amazing~ I've always wanted to try that. Lol. :D I'm glad no one got hurt in the hostage situation and that there was a pretty happy ending~

Mind if I ask how this went in your fiction class? ^^

[numbuh_009]

Seriously, what better job for him? He could talk his way out of anything! ;) Thank you so much for your kind comments ^///^

Do you mean how it was received? If so, my teacher was the only one who read the full (albeit unedited/unrevised because I ran out of time) thing. She liked the interactions between the characters, but she said it was a bit too "televisual" and to consider what the written word can do that other forms of communication could not.

[mischievousb]

you are amazing. this is amazing! wow i'd give you an A+ if i'm your teacher haha :D
love the way you told the story through everyone's perspective
when himchan seemed freaked out and hyosung plus sunhwa found out that jongup was in the bank
my heart skipped a beat >,< i could really feel the their tension (same goes with younglo scene ;_;)
the way you started every paragraph with words from all alphabets was just brilliant!!!!
and the ending was perfect :))
thank you for sharing ^^
i'll look forward to your next one <3

[numbuh_009]

I'm happy that I was able to convey the tension of the situation ;A; Aww, you compliment me too much :D Thank you for reading and commenting!

[numbuh_009]

I was afraid that I made that connection a bit too obvious, so I'm happy that was not the case. To be compared to your favorite author is too high of a compliment! ;A; *bows* I honestly have no idea how my teacher grades fiction...Thanks for reading and for your lovely comment!

[tikibuddy91]

This is like one of the truly amazing fanfictions I've read... Love didn't have to be so obvious, it can be just subtle..and I love how you incorporate the alphabet into words relevant and coherent into the story. I hope you get a high grade on this. :) I enjoyed that one twist, although it was a perfect explanation, that showed Jongup's relations to Himchan. :3 Everything made sense right from the beginning and eventually later on.

Although I have one small question, please don't take offense: If you consider Yongguk/Himchan as a pairing and Daehyun/Jongup as a Minor pairing....the first part of the story does not really show much of anything but DaeUp mostly...and then this 2nd part considers a little more of DaeUp and an emerging YongChan. This is only a suggestion, but perhaps you should include both pairings as the Focus Pairings and Youngjae/Junhong as Minor Pairing?

Overall, I would truly like to read more fics from you, your style is one among the unique styles I have witnessed in the LJ world. :3

[numbuh_009]

The connection between Yongguk and Himchan is something that is very underlying and not overt so I'm glad you saw that. I hope I got a high grade on this too T^T

Oh no, none taken! Ah, how to explain this...This story was developed around Yongguk/Himchan and the Daehyun/Jongup was more of a vehicle to further the plot. I actually have more plans for this verse (although I'm lazy so who knows if I'll ever get to it, hurhur :'D) and it's all Yongguk/Himchan-centric, so in my head, this is kind of like a prologue for a Yongguk/Himchan fic ergo them being the main pairing and Daehyun/Jongup being only a minor one. Does that make sense to you? :D

Aww shucks ^///^ Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comment!

[myeolchihearts]

\o/

I really liked how the story and the character relationships were revealed. I didn't really think that Jongup would be Himchan's brother but <3
What happened next, huh? Huh? Huh?

I mean, Junhong's going to be fine because Himchan promised, right? Right?
And your DaeJong is adorable. :)

/ktnxbye!

[numbuh_009]

What happens next will be left to your imagination because TBH, I'm probably going to be too lazy to write a sequel OTL

Considering that you don't even ship them, that is a high compliment ;A; Thanks for reading and commenting!