Missed Connections: Chapter 20
The first time Changmin sees him, Junho is on a stage. It’s a small crowded stage in a worn down community dance school but the flickering stage lights highlight the flex of muscle and the soft sheen of sweat that clings to his jaw.
He’s fresh out of the army and he’s only been home for a day. He wanted to spend the day sleeping but his noona had insisted on dragging him to the local dance school. ‘Come on, Minnie-yah. If they don’t raise enough money they’ll close down’ He doesn’t really see what that has to do with him but he goes anyway because his mother points out that until he gets a job or into an entertainment company he can sleep in as much as he wants.
He can’t really bring himself to be mad at his sister anymore, not now that there’s a boy - who looks exactly like rain, dancing about on stage. For the most part he dances with several other boys, copying the dances of popular song by the likes of H.O.T and Rain. There’s something about the way his brows knit together as he comes up to a complicated part of the routine and the way he smiles at the end of every song. The way his brown hair curls around his ear and sticks to his forehead. It’s something in the flex of his arms and the way his feet glide across the floor.
He gets a solo, an r ‘n’ b song that starts off slow and builds up to something more. His movements are flowing and then he moves his hips just so. It’s a procession of body rolls and bitten lips then he’s pulling at the hem of his over-sized sweater and the garment goes over his head. The t-shirt beneath is so tight it clings like a second skin and Changmin unconsciously brushes a hand against his own stomach as he takes in the chocolate bar abs.
The boy blushes as the song finishes and his sister leans over, elbowing him in the side. ‘That’s Lee Junho, he’s their star dancer. He’s going on tour with rain soon’ Changmin’s jaw drops a little at that - how is it possible? The school is run down and has been threatened with closing more times than he can remember. It isn’t particularly famous and none of the students have ever come close to such a feat.
The students shuffle back onto stage several songs later and the boy, Lee Junho, is pushed to centre stage to take a bow. He bows deeply and flushes slightly as the applause gets louder. A group near the front catcall loudly and his smile grows, eyes curving into crescent moons. He glances around the audience and for a moment Changmin catches his eye.
In that moment Lee Junho steals his heart.
The next time he sees Lee Junho it isn’t on a stage.
He isn’t surrounded by lights and children in costumes. His skin isn’t flushed or glittering with sweat, he’s just a normal boy in jeans and a t-shirt. Up-close he looks even more like the idol Rain than Changmin had realised.
Changmin is just leaving the city library, a book on physics tucked under his arm when he pushes the door open. He puts his weight into pushing it open but there’s an alternative force - someone on the other side, pulling it open and he stumbles forwards. A hand comes out to catch him, long fingers splaying out across his stomach and another hand settles on his back. ‘Ah, sorry’ comes a soft voice and for a moment he bristles.
He’s about to complain at the person - he nearly fell over! When he notices they’re bowing, eyes falling to thick brown hair. His stomach lurches and it catapults his heart into his throat. The boy straightens and Changmin feels his jaw go slack.
It’s him. Lee Junho.
‘I’m sorry, I’ll be more careful next time’ The boy says and bows again several times. Changmin wants to reach out to him and tell him to stop but he’s distracted by collarbones and the swell of his lower lip. His heart hammers somewhere between his heart and his throat - he can’t really be sure because he feels it throughout his torso. Changmin tries to force something out but all he gets is a cough that sounds like he’s clearing his throat then the boy is slipping passed him into the shadows of the library.
He shouldn’t like this Lee Junho boy, he knows that. The boy is on verge of stardom and he doesn’t even know that much about him. According to his sister he’s originally from a city further down south, Ulsan or Ilsan or somewhere and he’s just seventeen. Seventeen. He’s about four years younger than Changmin and something about that doesn’t settle with him. The nagging little voice in the back of Changmin’s head reminds him he’s not even legal yet.
He sees Junho in a coffee shop a few blocks away from his house. He greets him sweetly from behind the counter, dressed in a white shirt, a scarlet apron and that eye smile that Changmin has quickly come to love. He asks Changmin what he’d like to drink, lips curving just so. His stomach does a funny sort of flip and his friend (oh, he’d forgotten about Jo Kwon) shoves him aside when he starts to impersonate a dying fish. ‘Café Latte and a Mocha, please’ Junho nods and rings up their order.
He’s there the next time Changmin goes. And the next.
And the next.
And the next.
It takes two weeks of every day visits to work out what days Junho’s shifts are; the boy works after school every Monday, Thursday and Friday and as well as Saturday mornings. Changmin doesn’t even like coffee.
Changmin is on his way to an audition when he sees him on the first train one morning, fast asleep on the way to the city centre. His hair is shorter and back to its natural black and it emphasizes the growing circles under his eyes and the curve of his cheekbones. He’s been losing weight recently and it worries Changmin.
At his feet sits a duffel bag, the sleeve of a red sweater hanging out the mouth of the zip. Junho sinks in his seat, head drooping forwards. His mouth is slightly open and there’s the faintest trail of drool pooling at the corner of his mouth. Two school girls sat near Changmin nudge each other and the male bristles as their laughter almost wakes the sleeping boy.
Junho looks like he could use the rest.
It’s a Tuesday. Junho swapped his Thursday shift for Tuesdays a few weeks ago.
‘He’s here again’
Changmin pretends not to hear.
Junho is stood behind the counter with another employee, a tall boy who could easily be passed off as half-Italian. His name is Chansung and he seems to be Junho’s friend. Changmin doesn’t like him. He’s loud and brash and he looks like he wants to devour Junho. His coffee isn’t very good either.
Junho laughs it off. ‘You’re being stupid’
‘No, Hyung - I swear. He only ever comes in when you have shifts’
Junho takes the order of a young woman at the counter and rings it up, giving Chansung a gentle push to go and make it. The boy does so reluctantly but when Changmin glances up the fake-Italian is staring at him. His eyes widen at being caught and the younger boy flushes, playing with the steamer. He finishes up the order and passes it to the woman before latching to Junho’s elbow.
Changmin looks back down to the book he’s pretending to read.
‘He’s so creepy’
‘You’re paranoid’
Changmin sees him walking around late one night. It’s nearly midnight and the streets are dangerous on a Friday night. Junho staggers, clearly drunk and Changmin feels his heart twinge. He watches him trip over his own feet and thinks to go help him but something holds him back.
What if he recognises him? Would he freak out?
He settles for following from a close distance - if something bad happens he can jump in and help him, if not, well then he’ll know Junho is safe. Junho’s too drunk to notice him anyway as he stumbles along the sidewalk. Sometimes he clings to walls and sometimes he staggers forwards over cracks in the pavement. At one point he walks into a lamppost and apologizes to it. Changmin has to bite back his laughter.
It takes a little over three quarters of an hour to get to his destination, home, though in reality it’s only a twenty minute walk. Changmin stands under a lamppost, out in the open as he watches Junho stagger up the steps of his apartment building. He sways slightly as he pulls out his keys but then doors open and Chansung is dragging him inside looking terrified.
It’s ok, Changmin thinks to himself. I made sure he got home safe.
Junho quits the coffee shop a few weeks later.
Changmin goes on Wednesday and Thursday and Sunday too but Junho isn’t there. He’s not there first thing in the morning when Changmin stops by for a latte, or in the afternoon when he gets a Frappuccino. He’s not there after school anymore and he’s not there for Changmin’s Saturday Caramel Macchiato.
He sees Chansung a few times, staring at him with those large eyes of his. He considers asking the boy where Junho is, did he get hurt? Has he moved? But he decides against it when he approaches the counter and the boy’s eyes narrow, brows knitting in a harsh, unpleasant way.
He’s hit with a wave of paranoia. Did Junho quit because of him? His stomach jolts and he feels suddenly sick. He likes Junho, he wouldn’t dream of hurting him or trying to scare him.
Changmin goes home with a heavy heart, mood dampened and eyes watery.
Junho does one last performance at the dance school and this time Changmin drags his sister along. He’s a local boy and he’s going to be a star. They should support him. His sister doesn’t really understand what’s gotten into him lately - Changmin has been all sorts of weird since he came back from military duty. He has a point though, it’d be nice to have someone from their area on TV and Junho is a sweet, talented kid.
He’s leaving to start his tour with Rain and Changmin realises that’s why he quit at the coffee shop. He feels relieved.
Junho glitters and shines on stage. This show is all about him. The other kids help out but it’s Junho in the centre spotlight and he shines the most even without the heavy lighting and sequins. He’s only gotten better at dancing and Changmin notices he’s transformed. His short black hair and leaner body look mature and now, aged 18, Lee Junho looks more like a man.
They meet him after the performance and Junho is stood right before him, glistening with sweat and sparkling with confidence. He doesn’t smell too good but he runs a towel through his hair and Changmin is distracted by his lean neck and bare arms.
‘You were amazing. You’re going to do so well on tour’ Says Changmin’s Noona and he shakes away the images of running his tongue along prominent collar bones. She says something else that he doesn’t quite catch though he hears his name and Junho turns to him with wide eyes and the most breath taking smile he’s ever seen. ‘Really Hyung?’
‘Really!’ Interjects his sister and Changmin feels the blood rushing to his cheeks.
‘He’s such an amazing singer. He’s going to be a star too one day’ Oh - they’re talking about him. He feels a little giddy seeing Junho so interested in talking about him. Maybe he has a chance after all. His heart flutters.
‘Hyung, don’t forget me when you become a star, ok? I’ll come dance for you’
‘I could never forget you. It’s a deal’