The Kesey and Vonnegut ones are also great. (I am a bad person because I sort of agreed with the criticism of Kerouac. Not "On the Road" particularly, but many of his other books.)
When I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe for the first time (or when it was read to me, actually), I had never heard of Turkish Delight so I had to look it up in the dictionary. The dictionary said that it involved gelatin (which isn't true; at least not with the quality stuff) so I was put off even trying it for years.
That's besides the point, though. I didn't know that Cadbury made addictive crack Turkish Delight. They certainly didn't mention that in the book!
This is how I felt when I tried to read TSAR to feel cool in 1999touchyphiliacOctober 25 2005, 17:45:18 UTC
The Sun Also Rises (1926)
Author: Ernest Hemingway
“Here’s the first half of the book: ‘We had dinner and a few drinks. We went to a cafe and talked and had some drinks. We ate dinner and had a few drinks. Dinner. Drinks. More dinner. More drinks. We took a cab here (or there) in Paris and had some drinks, and maybe we danced and flirted and talked sh*t about somebody. More dinner. More drinks. I love you, I hate you, maybe you should come up to my room, no you can’t’… I flipped through the second half of the book a day or two later and saw the words ‘dinner’ and ‘drinks’ on nearly every page and figured it wasn’t worth the risk.”
No love for "The Lord of the Flies"? review? “I am obsessed with Survivor, so I thought it would be fun. WRONG!!! It is incredibly boring and disgusting. I was very much disturbed when I found young children killing each other. I think that anyone with a conscience would agree with me.”
I do kind of agree with "The Lord of the Rings" review. Tolkein is not a great prose stylist.
My fav still has to be "Slaughterhouse-Five." Someone seems to miss the fact that the book isn't intended to be non-fiction...which is weird, since the entire first chapter of the book is Vonnegut talking about how he's going to write the novel you're about to read. Anyway, the reviewer has problems with this: "I do not believe that an alien can kidnap someone and house them in a zoo for years at a time, while it is only a microsecond on earth. I also do not believe that a person has seven parents.”
My dads are totally going to tag team to kick his dad's ass.
That should be his "dads' asses." Just because he didn't think believe that gay men played an essential role in his conception doesn't mean it isn't true.
Well, I mostly meant that the strength of my Baker's Half-Dozen family can wipe the floor with his "traditional" family. Especially someone who says that they think "the very concept of a man who was kidnapped by aliens was truly unbelievable and a tad ludicrous." The fool! The mad fool!
there are apparently a lot of people out there who don't really distinguish fiction from nonfiction.
Is it just me or does Don Quixote set up his peerless Dulcinea of El Toboso to be an object of ridicule by making her out to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen? It's clear he's had hallucinations before. Anyways, i think that by elevating her to such a lofty position she is bound to attract some negative criticisms. Just my two cents.
“Well, it’s a girl’s world. The world of Gloria Steinem and the popular feminism, as distilled on TV (including CBC shows, not all fundamentalist Hollywood garbage) of my youth is GONE. Now the girls run the show. You’re not allowed to call them sluts. And it’s impossible to call them virgins. They’re all doing Rhett Butler. So what are they? Idiots… Hope you like the Gangstas. It’s what you deserve.”
Um, I have this mental picture of some blinged out hip hop guy sitting at his computer a la ALi G, muttering about bitches be after his money.
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But the Faulkner one was the funniest.
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I really have to say that the C.S. Lewis one is also a top contender.
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That's besides the point, though. I didn't know that Cadbury made addictive crack Turkish Delight. They certainly didn't mention that in the book!
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Author: Ernest Hemingway
“Here’s the first half of the book: ‘We had dinner and a few drinks. We went to a cafe and talked and had some drinks. We ate dinner and had a few drinks. Dinner. Drinks. More dinner. More drinks. We took a cab here (or there) in Paris and had some drinks, and maybe we danced and flirted and talked sh*t about somebody. More dinner. More drinks. I love you, I hate you, maybe you should come up to my room, no you can’t’… I flipped through the second half of the book a day or two later and saw the words ‘dinner’ and ‘drinks’ on nearly every page and figured it wasn’t worth the risk.”
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“While the story did have a great moral to go along with it, it was about dirt! Dirt and migrating. Dirt and migrating and more dirt.”
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“I am obsessed with Survivor, so I thought it would be fun. WRONG!!! It is incredibly boring and disgusting. I was very much disturbed when I found young children killing each other. I think that anyone with a conscience would agree with me.”
I do kind of agree with "The Lord of the Rings" review. Tolkein is not a great prose stylist.
My fav still has to be "Slaughterhouse-Five." Someone seems to miss the fact that the book isn't intended to be non-fiction...which is weird, since the entire first chapter of the book is Vonnegut talking about how he's going to write the novel you're about to read. Anyway, the reviewer has problems with this: "I do not believe that an alien can kidnap someone and house them in a zoo for years at a time, while it is only a microsecond on earth. I also do not believe that a person has seven parents.”
My dads are totally going to tag team to kick his dad's ass.
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Is it just me or does Don Quixote set up his peerless Dulcinea of El Toboso to be an object of ridicule by making her out to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen? It's clear he's had hallucinations before. Anyways, i think that by elevating her to such a lofty position she is bound to attract some negative criticisms. Just my two cents.
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Author: Margaret Mitchell
“Well, it’s a girl’s world. The world of Gloria Steinem and the popular feminism, as distilled on TV (including CBC shows, not all fundamentalist Hollywood garbage) of my youth is GONE. Now the girls run the show. You’re not allowed to call them sluts. And it’s impossible to call them virgins. They’re all doing Rhett Butler. So what are they? Idiots… Hope you like the Gangstas. It’s what you deserve.”
Um, I have this mental picture of some blinged out hip hop guy sitting at his computer a la ALi G, muttering about bitches be after his money.
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