Title: I am the heart that you call home
Author:
creepylicious/
alles_luegePairing(s): Gabe/Mikey/William and combinations thereof
Rating: R
Warnings: threesome
Word count: 2.537
Summary: Gabe and Mikey are hooking up and then Gabe is maybe hooking up with Beckett and Mikey gets it, because he would hook up with Beckett too, but still.
“Yeah,” Mikey answered. Because there was no question about that. Beckett was beautiful and Mikey wanted him and Gabe wanted him and it somehow wasn't okay for Gabe to want- “I'm in love with Gabe,” Mikey stated.
“I'm going to make you a goldstar later,” Gerard answered.
Author’s Notes: Written for
littlemousling.
Beta:
tygermineDisclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real
~+~
Mikey knew that hooking up with Gabe was a big deal for anyone but him. He and Gabe were, well, he and Gabe he supposed. They met, they drank, they kissed, fooled around and sometimes when Gabe was in the mood he sucked Mikey off in the back of a car or a barely lit back-room.
Mikey would tangle his fingers in Gabe's hair, but not pull or push, just held it between his fingers, his eyes closed so he wouldn't see.
And when it was over they would go back to the bar, or Mikey would stumble home or to find a bus or a taxi.
It was nothing special at all.
He and Gabe were he and Gabe.
~+~
Mikey gave Gee a look, but it was one of the good looks, one of the excited looks. He was still doubtful of his bass-skills, but Gerard apparently wasn't.
“Gee,” he said and Gerard cut him off.
“I can't do it without you.”
“Yes, you can,” Mikey answered, because he knew that Gerard could do anything, even if Gerard didn't know it.
Gerard's smile went soft. “I won't do it without you. I don't want to.”
“I'm a shitty bass-player.”
“I'm a shitty singer,” Gerard answered. Mikey shook his head. “Exactly,” Gerard said and really, what could he have said to that? They would do it anyway, because Gerard wanted it and Mikey was ready to be anywhere but here.
“Okay. I'm in.”
“Now we only need someone who can play guitar, actually.” Gerard grinned. He had someone in mind already.
~+~
He let Gabe fuck him for the first time when Midtown broke up. Gabe was wasted and in mourning and Mikey was just drunk enough to say yes or offer or something like that.
It was surprisingly slow and good. Gabe's hands were sure on Mikey's body, but then they always were, his fingers felt weird inside Mikey at first but he got used to it and then it was so freaking good, he buried his face in the dirty pillow and breathed through the material to keep the sounds in. It almost felt like Gabe was trying to fix something, but Mikey wasn't sure what, because Mikey didn't need any fixing and he didn't think Gabe could fix his band or himself that way.
~+~
They met up less and less when the band started to get big, well, bigger. It was small, crappy, but with love painted, vans and endless roads, small club after small club and then Europe, which was cool in a weird way.
They kept in touch, because Mikey didn't let go of people just because they weren't on the same freaking continent anymore.
~+~
“I'm sending you the new song,” Gabe said and Mikey went to the laptop to check his mails.
“What is it about?”
“Snakes,” Gabe said and Mikey rolled his eyes, because of fucking course it was.
“Is this your way to form a cult?”
“I think your brother is way ahead of me there.”
“There's always room for one more,” Mikey answered.
“That's what she said.”
Mikey sniggered despite himself, he should've had seen that one coming from miles away. He hung up on Gabe without saying more than 'I got it'. He listened to the song on repeat for half an hour and it was not Midtown, but Mikey knew that - it coudl've never been Midtown again - but it was good.
~+~
“Who's that pretty chick?” Mikey asked as the video came out.
“Maja Ivarsson,” Gabe said, he sounded a bit distracted and Mikey only hoped he wasn't doing anything disgusting, but knowing Gabe, he probably was.
“Not the blond one, I know Ivarsson, Gabe.”
“There is no oth- oh, you mean Bill!”
“Yeah, I mean Bill.”
“Beckett, I'm, sure you've seen him around at some Midtown shows,” Gabe said. Midtown rolled from his tongue like it was just any other band. And maybe it was now. It had been shiny and new and exciting, Gabe's world and passion, years ago, it was over now and Gabe moved on.
“Send me his album,” Mikey said. He didn't know why he needed to know more about that Beckett kid, but it seemed important somehow. He seemed important to Gabe, if you could trust google.
“Sure.”
~+~
Mikey wasn't surprised that Beckett was pretty up close and without make-up too. He was shifaced, in fact when Mikey met him for the first time. Maybe they did meet before, but Mikey couldn't remember.
“I was stuttering my way into one of your conversations about Doctor Who and you gave me a look,” William confessed, he was sitting with his back against a tree, a bottle of Jack dangling from his fingers. They were long and slender and Mikey thought they would've look good curled around a guitar-neck or a cock.
“I can't remember your face at all,” Mikey said reaching for the bottle. William handed it over and their fingers brushed. William's were cold even if it was Crematoria outside still.
“I am feeling vaguely insulted,” William answered and turned his head up, Mikey watched his throat while he drank. “I was sure you and Gabe were fucking-”
“We were,” Mikey admitted.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I was so jealous, because how could he choose you, you know?”
Mikey nodded, he knew. No one ever got it, not even Mikey. “Drink up kiddo,” he said and William's whole face lit up as he laughed.
He looked beautiful.
Mikey could imagine why Gabe took an interest in him.
~+~
Gabe was mouthing at Mikey's neck softly, slowly. Mikey felt drunk and he probably was. He was here with Gabe at Cobra's bus and everyone knew that they always had booze. Gabe's hand crept under his shirt, caressing the skin there, Mikey wriggled a bit so he could face Gabe.
Gabe sighed. “What?”
“Are you fucking Beckett?”
Gabe shrugged and didn't answer for a while. He reached for the bottle of cheap whisky instead and then lit a smoke and one for Mikey too. “Define fucking.”
Mikey laughed in his face. “Seriously? That's a no, isn't it?”
“What does it matter?” Gabe asked and Mikey shook his head, because he didn't know.
“I need to see Gee,” he said and got up on unsteady feet.
Gabe fell gracelessly back onto the couch.
~+~
“So,you and Gabe again?” Gerard asked, he was yawning. He looked like he waited up. There was his sketchbook tugged away under a cushion and pencils on the floor. Someone would step on them and then Gerard would bitch. Mikey picked them up and handed them over to his brother. Gerard smiled. “Thanks.”
“No,” Mikey said, sitting down on the floor between Gerard's legs. Gerard started to pet his hair instantly. Mikey closed his eyes and tried to figure out what had upset him earlier, because he usually didn't fucking care. He didn't used to, that is. He cared now, apparently. Gerard waited him out. “I was meeting up with that Beckett kid. A lot, lately,” he said.
“Hmm?”
“The Academy singer. One of Pete's projects, you know?”
“No.”
“Never mind, he's like pretty and shit, and deep. I think you would like him.”
“Doesn't matter, Mikey.”
Mikey leaned his head back so he could look at Gerard upside down. “I think Gabe likes him.”
“Okay?”
“I think Gabe just doesn't want to like him or whatever. He's like you that way, you know? Because
Beckett was a kid that used to come to every show they played around Chicago.”
“What about you?” Gerard asked.
Mikey grabbed his knee and squeezed. “I don't know. I- maybe I like him too.”
“Who?”
Mikey bit his lip.”Beckett?”
Gerard pulled once sharply at Mikey's hair and then let go so Mikey could turn around. “You sure?”
“No.” Mikey wasn't.
“Wanna slept in my bunk?”
“Yeah,” Mikey answered. The thing was, that Gerard always knew him best.
~+~
“I'm not,” Gabe said handing Mikey a paper-cup of coffee.
“Too early for this.” He mumbled, the sun was glaring in his face. Gerard was right: this sun-thing kinda sucked.
“Fucking Beckett,”Gabe clarified, rolling his eyes.
“That's why you drag me out here? In the sun?”
“I just wanted you to know. Because apparently you have morals and shit now.”
Mikey took a careful sip of his coffee. It tasted awful. “You should've at least gotten me Starbucks, you dick. Beckett does.”
Mikey leaned against the bus and closed his eyes, remembering Beckett with an extra coffee-cup when he would meet up with Mikey. His skin always looked sun-kissed somehow. He could feel Gabe do the same, at least the leaning against the bus part.
“Does he now?”
“Yeah.”
“He's wooing you with coffee?” Gabe asked and Mikey blinked at him, turning his head slightly to be able to look at him.
“He's not wooing me with anything.”
Gabe's face was really fucking close and Mikey felt his skin itch with need, but there was this voice in his head, just a whisper, the what if? But what if what? Gabe leaned in and Mikey didn't turn away. The kiss was softer than all those before. A brush of lips, the soft, wet stroke of tongue and Mikey reached out, his fingers curling around Gabe's arm. His skin was already damp with sweat.
~+~
Beckett was waiting for him on the steps of their bus when Mikey came back from Cobra's bus.
“I'm sure Ray or someone would've let you in,” Mikey said.
Beckett shook his head. “I like it out here.”
“Sun sucks.”
“You're a vampire then?” Beckett asked. He was smiling, his hair was made up in a messy bun at the back of his neck. Mikey wanted to kiss him so badly, he shrugged instead, stepping closer. Beckett looked really good - no surprise here. No wonder Gabe wanted him. He cocked his head.
“Are you wooing me?” he replied.
“If I am, does it work?”
“Is this some weird way to be close to Gabe?”
Beckett got up from the steps and looked at the sky. The sun was still burning too hot. Mikey's skin felt like layers were burning away slowly. He needed to be inside. Ways just weren't made for this kind of shit.
“It's not. It's my weird way to be close to you,” Beckett said. He smiled, but it looked sad.
Mikey had no idea what to answer him, because he still didn't figure shit out for himself.
~+~
“You are right,” Gerard said, looking at Beckett over his paper-cup of coffee. He was sketching furiously too.
“Hmm?”
“He's beautiful.”
“Yeah,” Mikey answered. Because there was no question about that. Beckett was beautiful and Mikey wanted him and Gabe wanted him and it somehow wasn't okay for Gabe to want- “I'm in love with Gabe,” Mikey stated.
“I'm going to make you a goldstar later,” Gerard answered, but pushed his half eaten scone over because it was chocolate and Mikey's favourite.
~+~
“I figured shit out,” Mikey said.
“Yeah?” Gabe asked.
“Yeah.”
“Wanna tell me?”
Mikey took a deep drag of his cigarette and kept the smoke in a bit too long before he exhaled. “You wanna fuck Beckett?”
“It's more than that,” Gabe admitted and didn't look at Mikey. “I did, already.”
“Fuck Beckett? I though you said you didn't.” He felt kinda, he didn't know, actually. He felt like he should feel betrayed, but he just didn't.
“You remember how we started?”
“Drunk?” Mikey said.
Gabe smiled, grabbing Mikey's fingers and holding them in his hand. It felt warm. Everything felt too warm lately.
“Yeah, it started like that with Bill too. After Snakes on a plane. Drunken hook-ups here or there. My band didn't break up, he didn't let me fuck him-”
“I didn't let you fuck me because your band broke up,” Mikey threw in.
“Just bad timing then.” He squeezed Mikey's fingers. “Bill is smarter and more insightful than people give him credit for, you know? He knew before I knew, or maybe he just made me face it.”
“What?”
“That I loved you back then, before Midtown broke up and after and now.”
“And now what?”
“It wasn't a prologue, Mikey. That was the fucking point.”
“Oh,” Mikey said and then smiling: “Gerard's going to make you a goldstar too.”
~+~
He grabbed Beckett's writs and stared at his fingers on Beckett's skin. “Mikey?”
“What was the rest of the question?”
“What?”
“Before I cut you off? That day under the tree, what was the rest of the question?”
“I was sure you and Gabe were fucking in love,” Beckett whispered and Mikey's heart stopped.
“William,” he said.
“You didn't know, like he didn't know.”
“He does now,” Mikey answered and pulled him against his own body. He could feel William's heart beating fast like a small, scared, hunted animal. Something so easily hurt.
“And you?” William asked into his shirt. His breath damp and warm against Mikey's skin.
“I figured my shit out too and I wanna kiss you all the time and watch Gabe kiss you and if you say no now-”
Beckett looked up then. “On what planet would that happen?” he asked.
Mikey smiled and William kissed him. When they broke apart William was clutching at Mikey's shirt, both of them out f breath and William's face was lit up with a smile.
“Is your brother going to make me a goldstar too?”
“I think you deserve two,” Mikey answered.
~+~
“Please tell me that you're gonna fuck on the Cobra bus,” Gerard said.
Mikey grinned. “You're just jealous because I have two boyfriends.”
Gerard made his thinky face. “Maybe.” He hugged Mikey suddenly and didn't say a word. Mikey hugged back.
“Gonna meet William and Gabe for coffee.”
“That's how the cool kids call it now?”
“They always called it that, Gee. Coffee is love, you know that,” he whispered into Gerard's neck.
Gerard squeezed once more and then stepped away. “Yeah, it is.”
Mikey was nearly out of the door as he realised it. “You told William he should bring me coffee,” he turned around to see Gerard shrug. Something warm was spreading inside his guts, around his heart. Gerard always knew him best. “Thank you.”
“Promise me you won't fuck on our bus,” Gerard said.
“I promise,” he answered and stepped out into the merciless summer-sun. Some things were worth bracing Crematoria.
~end~