Try to kill this song, 'cause the melody's all wrong
Title: Try to kill this song, 'cause the melody's all wrong
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: mostly gen, with a bit Steve/Brian kissing, hints at Steve/Spencer (various Panic pairings)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: A tale about how Steve isn't sure it was a good idea to join Placebo (also how he begins to stalk Panic's drummer), how Stefan has written gay porn with his coffee and Brian is a sneaky, sparkly, glittery seducer.
“Are you never listening to Stefan reading?”
“Well...I don't care for them as much, their names could be ice cream and cigarette for all I know.” Brian answers and Steve can't believe he is for fucking real!
Warning(s): kissing, sex, threesomes
Author’s Notes: For krisipanics. I hope you will like it! Also, a prequel-thingy to Come on lay with me 'cause I'm on fire. Can be read on it's own. Text quotes (that's the porn!) taken from (in order of appearance) Broken Glass and Rusty Nails (Panic, Brendon/Ryan) by addictedkitten , Open veins (Panic GSF) by me and Better Together (TAI/Panic/CS, William/Ryan/Gabe) by zarah5 . Also, ALL the good porn is written by others. Title by Placebo.
Word Count: 1.923
Beta: figilio_vampiri
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~1~
“When he's sixteen, Ryan learns that if he presses his left wrist to the hard curve of his hip while he's stroking himself, he'll get off faster. The doctor explained that he'd been lucky to break the radius, the wrist bone that heals the easiest. Ryan thinks he's lucky to have broken the bone right beneath his pulse, doubly sensitive there where the blood beats fastest; it feels good to force his wrist down against his hipbone, panting as he slides his hand up and down his cock, his shirt rucked up and jeans unbuttoned.” Stefan reads out loud as he is crossing the lounge and Steve doesn't know what the hell is going on.
“Is he at the fanfiction again?” Brian asks; he sounds between amused and bored.
“The what?” Steve asks, because he was in a band before okay? He knows that people are reading and watching porn and stuff, but no one ever read this stuff out loud and besides, what the fuck is fanfiction anyway?!
“The fanfiction. Fiction written by fans about...well anything I think and Stefan...Stef!” Brian shouts.
“What? I'm reading and this stuff is pretty good,” comes the reply.
“Yeah, what band are you reading about?!”
“Panic at the Disco!” Stefan shouts back from the bunks.
“Panic at the Disco...” Brian mumbles. “That Wentz baby-band?!” Brian asks.
“Yes! They're cuddly!” Stefan shouts back and Brian laughs. Steve is still confused, okay? Totally fucking confused.
“He's reading porn about other bands,” Brian clarifies.
“Written by fans?” Steve asks.
“Yes.”
“And is there... I mean...about you guys?”
“Plenty!”
“Gay porn?” Steve asks, just to be clear on this one. Brian arches one eyebrow.
“Of course. I suppose there is het porn as well...but the most of it is surely gay porn.”
“Okay...”
“You'll adapt to it soon enough.”
“You mean they will write porn about me?” Steve asks, a bit scandalised. Because, come on! That's just ridiculous.
“Of course. You are new and shiny and pretty as hell!” Brian answers and Steve doesn't want to, but he blushes. His last band was manly. They didn't tell each other that they were pretty for fuck's sake. He honestly doesn't know if becoming Placebo's new drummer was such a good idea.
“Thanks...”
“No problem,” Brian answers, laughing and then goes back to reading his magazine.
~+~
Steve knew that there would be rumours. There always are. But the truth is he wanted to leave Evaline before Brian offered him Steve's place in the band. But yeah, rumours about how he left his not so successful band for Placebo, the shiny, glamy rock band. He was prepared for this, what he was not prepared for was the sheer love of Placebo's fanbase for the whole fucking band and that they were willing to give him a fair chance to prove he's worthy. That he has his shit together as he read somewhere. He did, and well...
“It helps that you're hot,” Brian had said off-handily and Steve just willed himself not to fucking blush, because fuck! That was just Brian for you. Steve remembers this one interview (he saw it on Youtube for sure...) where Brian was asked about his experiences with drugs and he had said 'Thank you, they were good.' A golden moment in the history of music television.
~+~
“Spencer’s thrusts are slow and measured. Because Spencer always needs to be in control, or thinks that he needs to be in control, but it’s not true.
“You can let go,” Brendon gasps. Spencer shakes his head.
“Don’t wanna hurt you,” he answers.
Brendon thinks that’s really sweet, but he wants Spencer to be himself just once, it doesn’t matter, that Brendon will bear the brunt of it, the sadness and grief, he wants that.
“Spence, come on. Harder,” He wants to say that he can take it, but maybe Spencer knows that he really can’t. (Because this is the first time, and he didn’t tell Spencer, but maybe Spencer knows anyway. Knows that there wasn’t anyone ever. No one else for Brendon, except them.)
“No,” Spencer grits out, but his thrusts become faster, not harder. Brendon guesses it’s a compromise.
“Okay…” he answers and grabs Spencer’s face to kiss him hard and messy and dirty. He knows he is a fucking fantastic kisser. Spencer moans his name. “Okay,” he says again.” Stefan reads and by now maybe Steve should be okay with this stuff, but he is really not.
“I think you make Steve a bit uncomfortable...” Brian says, but he is laughing between his sips of coffee.
“I always take porn with my coffee...” Stefan answers dismissively; he is waving his hand around and all. And that's just Stefan for you in the mornings. At the beginning Steve thought they are just being stupid and glamy and gay-ish, but no, they really are like that. And to his surprise or not, he really doesn't care. He kinda likes it. You honestly can't tell they are supposed to be 10 years older than him.
“Still Panic?” Brian asks.
“Did I mention that they are cuddly? And cute and like...boy piles?” Stefan asks, closing his laptop.
“Maybe one or two times in the passing...” Brian answers. Steve takes a sip of his coffee and fishes for his cigarettes in his jeans. Because he takes nicotine with his coffee.
“And some of this stuff is really good written...I mean all the jerking off stuff? That's pretty fastastic, but the gsf. Man...makes for interesting reading.” Stefan goes on.
“You're so...gay,” Brian says.
“Says the sparkly, glittery drama queen,“ Stefan answers and Brian laughs.
~2~
He was afraid he wouldn't fit in, or that the fans would hate him, but nothing seems father away than that.
The thing is that Stefan kinda rubs off on him. He never...he didn't even know such things existed, okay? And now...it's not his fault. The only one to blame here is Stefan.
“But you never read stuff about yourself, right?” he asks. Brian looks up from his book.
“Stuck on that fanfiction thing?”
“Maybe...” Steve admits, he feels sometimes really young around Brian. Particularly when Brian looks at him like this. All knowing and shit.
“He doesn't. I don't read any of it, but I like to listen to him when he finds a particular cool, hot or touching part. He read MCR fic before, it was hilarious!”
~+~
“That whole label, I swear.” Stefan says.
“You moving on?”
“Not yet, but there is this William/Gabe/Ryan one? That one is hot.”
“Hmmm...” Brian says, Steve keeps silent. He isn't sure he wants to know.
“Listen to this: Gabe’s moan vibrates all along Ryan’s cock, and William chooses that moment to push forward in a hard stroke, nudging Ryan’s hips forward so that his cock nudges the back of Gabe’s throat, and that, whoa, fucking… Yeah. William is warm and slightly sweat-damp along Ryan's back, Gabe’s tongue curling around his cock, running along the underside of the head, and Ryan closes his eyes, twines one hand in Gabe’s hair and grips William’s ass with the other.”
Steve coughs on his coffee. Who the fuck writes stuff like that?
“And you can find it on the internet? Like with...I don't know.”
“You look a bit scandalised.” Brian answers amused. Fuck, he is scandalised.
“Do they know there is this stuff written about them?”
“Most of them do...” Stefan grins as he says it.
Steve puts his head in his hands and just breathes. He is sure his last band was not that kind of crazy.
~+~
He knows that he can never talk about it, but hell if he doesn't want to. Seeing Nick do the moves in front of a mirror is kinda hilarious. Some people are naturally bendy like the chick from MSI, but Nick practices actually in front of his mirror. He is still snickering when he's leaning outside the bus inhaling smoke deeply.
Seems not everything is strange here. Some things remind him of before.
~3~
Okay, he is reading Panic fic. And it's all Stefan's fault and what makes the whole thing worse (as if there could be something worse than reading Panic gsf with a fucking plot!) he might have a slight thing for this drummer of theirs. He is so fucked.
~+~
“Stalking Panic again?” Brian asks.
“No,” Steve answers, closing the laptop with a bit too much force maybe. Brian arches one eyebrow and Steve has the urge to spill all his secrets.
“We are your band now...” Brian says.
“God! It's this Smith guy, okay?” Steve answers a bit frustrated with himself. What is it about Brian that makes him want to tell him all his fucking secrets in great detail?
“Which one is he?”
“Are you never listening to Stefan reading?”
“Well...I don't care for them as much, their names could be ice cream and cigarette for all I know.” Brian answers and Steve can't believe he is for fucking real!
“The drummer,” he says after a short pause.
“Of course and you are what in a crisis now?” Brian asks. He doesn't know, okay? He is 22 and he never was into guys that much, but that doesn't mean he is convinced he is totally straight or something.
„Don't know, maybe?“ he answers, Brian grins, somehow wicked.
“Let me help you then,” he says, reaching over, grabbing Steve's neck and pulling him in so their lips are just an inch away. “I'm not going to force you...” Brian says against his lips. Steve can fell his breath on his skin, the movement of Brain's lips. He knows, he knows he has to lean in and he does, because he is curious and because it's Brian for fuck's sake. And it's not so different, more demanding maybe than a girl would be, nice. Also, Brian is a fucking great kisser.
“You are a fucking great kisser,” Steve says, Brian's finger flex on his skin as he laughs.
“Thanks. And?”
“Don't know. He has a beard,” Steve says grinning.
~+~
“Apparently there is this bar your drummer hangs out at,” Brian says off handed between two sips of coffee, for a few seconds Steve is staring at his lips, he just can't help it.
“You kissed him!” Stefan says from somewhere to his right. He sounds amused and a bit annoyed.
“He is not my drummer, Jesus...” Steve tries.
“He kissed me, that is a difference.” Brian answers. “Doesn't matter. He is hanging out there, you might like to go over and make a move or something,” he says to Steve, stealing Steve's cigarette in the process.
“If you don't he will mock you for the rest of your life,” Stefan says as he sits down.
In this moment in time and space he fucking knows that his last band was not that kind of crazy, but he also knows that he likes this kind a lot.
“I guess, I could...” Steve mumbles into his mug.
“You are a great kisser...” Brian assures him. And that's just Brian in the morning for you.
~end~
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: mostly gen, with a bit Steve/Brian kissing, hints at Steve/Spencer (various Panic pairings)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: A tale about how Steve isn't sure it was a good idea to join Placebo (also how he begins to stalk Panic's drummer), how Stefan has written gay porn with his coffee and Brian is a sneaky, sparkly, glittery seducer.
“Are you never listening to Stefan reading?”
“Well...I don't care for them as much, their names could be ice cream and cigarette for all I know.” Brian answers and Steve can't believe he is for fucking real!
Warning(s): kissing, sex, threesomes
Author’s Notes: For krisipanics. I hope you will like it! Also, a prequel-thingy to Come on lay with me 'cause I'm on fire. Can be read on it's own. Text quotes (that's the porn!) taken from (in order of appearance) Broken Glass and Rusty Nails (Panic, Brendon/Ryan) by addictedkitten , Open veins (Panic GSF) by me and Better Together (TAI/Panic/CS, William/Ryan/Gabe) by zarah5 . Also, ALL the good porn is written by others. Title by Placebo.
Word Count: 1.923
Beta: figilio_vampiri
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~1~
“When he's sixteen, Ryan learns that if he presses his left wrist to the hard curve of his hip while he's stroking himself, he'll get off faster. The doctor explained that he'd been lucky to break the radius, the wrist bone that heals the easiest. Ryan thinks he's lucky to have broken the bone right beneath his pulse, doubly sensitive there where the blood beats fastest; it feels good to force his wrist down against his hipbone, panting as he slides his hand up and down his cock, his shirt rucked up and jeans unbuttoned.” Stefan reads out loud as he is crossing the lounge and Steve doesn't know what the hell is going on.
“Is he at the fanfiction again?” Brian asks; he sounds between amused and bored.
“The what?” Steve asks, because he was in a band before okay? He knows that people are reading and watching porn and stuff, but no one ever read this stuff out loud and besides, what the fuck is fanfiction anyway?!
“The fanfiction. Fiction written by fans about...well anything I think and Stefan...Stef!” Brian shouts.
“What? I'm reading and this stuff is pretty good,” comes the reply.
“Yeah, what band are you reading about?!”
“Panic at the Disco!” Stefan shouts back from the bunks.
“Panic at the Disco...” Brian mumbles. “That Wentz baby-band?!” Brian asks.
“Yes! They're cuddly!” Stefan shouts back and Brian laughs. Steve is still confused, okay? Totally fucking confused.
“He's reading porn about other bands,” Brian clarifies.
“Written by fans?” Steve asks.
“Yes.”
“And is there... I mean...about you guys?”
“Plenty!”
“Gay porn?” Steve asks, just to be clear on this one. Brian arches one eyebrow.
“Of course. I suppose there is het porn as well...but the most of it is surely gay porn.”
“Okay...”
“You'll adapt to it soon enough.”
“You mean they will write porn about me?” Steve asks, a bit scandalised. Because, come on! That's just ridiculous.
“Of course. You are new and shiny and pretty as hell!” Brian answers and Steve doesn't want to, but he blushes. His last band was manly. They didn't tell each other that they were pretty for fuck's sake. He honestly doesn't know if becoming Placebo's new drummer was such a good idea.
“Thanks...”
“No problem,” Brian answers, laughing and then goes back to reading his magazine.
~+~
Steve knew that there would be rumours. There always are. But the truth is he wanted to leave Evaline before Brian offered him Steve's place in the band. But yeah, rumours about how he left his not so successful band for Placebo, the shiny, glamy rock band. He was prepared for this, what he was not prepared for was the sheer love of Placebo's fanbase for the whole fucking band and that they were willing to give him a fair chance to prove he's worthy. That he has his shit together as he read somewhere. He did, and well...
“It helps that you're hot,” Brian had said off-handily and Steve just willed himself not to fucking blush, because fuck! That was just Brian for you. Steve remembers this one interview (he saw it on Youtube for sure...) where Brian was asked about his experiences with drugs and he had said 'Thank you, they were good.' A golden moment in the history of music television.
~+~
“Spencer’s thrusts are slow and measured. Because Spencer always needs to be in control, or thinks that he needs to be in control, but it’s not true.
“You can let go,” Brendon gasps. Spencer shakes his head.
“Don’t wanna hurt you,” he answers.
Brendon thinks that’s really sweet, but he wants Spencer to be himself just once, it doesn’t matter, that Brendon will bear the brunt of it, the sadness and grief, he wants that.
“Spence, come on. Harder,” He wants to say that he can take it, but maybe Spencer knows that he really can’t. (Because this is the first time, and he didn’t tell Spencer, but maybe Spencer knows anyway. Knows that there wasn’t anyone ever. No one else for Brendon, except them.)
“No,” Spencer grits out, but his thrusts become faster, not harder. Brendon guesses it’s a compromise.
“Okay…” he answers and grabs Spencer’s face to kiss him hard and messy and dirty. He knows he is a fucking fantastic kisser. Spencer moans his name. “Okay,” he says again.” Stefan reads and by now maybe Steve should be okay with this stuff, but he is really not.
“I think you make Steve a bit uncomfortable...” Brian says, but he is laughing between his sips of coffee.
“I always take porn with my coffee...” Stefan answers dismissively; he is waving his hand around and all. And that's just Stefan for you in the mornings. At the beginning Steve thought they are just being stupid and glamy and gay-ish, but no, they really are like that. And to his surprise or not, he really doesn't care. He kinda likes it. You honestly can't tell they are supposed to be 10 years older than him.
“Still Panic?” Brian asks.
“Did I mention that they are cuddly? And cute and like...boy piles?” Stefan asks, closing his laptop.
“Maybe one or two times in the passing...” Brian answers. Steve takes a sip of his coffee and fishes for his cigarettes in his jeans. Because he takes nicotine with his coffee.
“And some of this stuff is really good written...I mean all the jerking off stuff? That's pretty fastastic, but the gsf. Man...makes for interesting reading.” Stefan goes on.
“You're so...gay,” Brian says.
“Says the sparkly, glittery drama queen,“ Stefan answers and Brian laughs.
~2~
He was afraid he wouldn't fit in, or that the fans would hate him, but nothing seems father away than that.
The thing is that Stefan kinda rubs off on him. He never...he didn't even know such things existed, okay? And now...it's not his fault. The only one to blame here is Stefan.
“But you never read stuff about yourself, right?” he asks. Brian looks up from his book.
“Stuck on that fanfiction thing?”
“Maybe...” Steve admits, he feels sometimes really young around Brian. Particularly when Brian looks at him like this. All knowing and shit.
“He doesn't. I don't read any of it, but I like to listen to him when he finds a particular cool, hot or touching part. He read MCR fic before, it was hilarious!”
~+~
“That whole label, I swear.” Stefan says.
“You moving on?”
“Not yet, but there is this William/Gabe/Ryan one? That one is hot.”
“Hmmm...” Brian says, Steve keeps silent. He isn't sure he wants to know.
“Listen to this: Gabe’s moan vibrates all along Ryan’s cock, and William chooses that moment to push forward in a hard stroke, nudging Ryan’s hips forward so that his cock nudges the back of Gabe’s throat, and that, whoa, fucking… Yeah. William is warm and slightly sweat-damp along Ryan's back, Gabe’s tongue curling around his cock, running along the underside of the head, and Ryan closes his eyes, twines one hand in Gabe’s hair and grips William’s ass with the other.”
Steve coughs on his coffee. Who the fuck writes stuff like that?
“And you can find it on the internet? Like with...I don't know.”
“You look a bit scandalised.” Brian answers amused. Fuck, he is scandalised.
“Do they know there is this stuff written about them?”
“Most of them do...” Stefan grins as he says it.
Steve puts his head in his hands and just breathes. He is sure his last band was not that kind of crazy.
~+~
He knows that he can never talk about it, but hell if he doesn't want to. Seeing Nick do the moves in front of a mirror is kinda hilarious. Some people are naturally bendy like the chick from MSI, but Nick practices actually in front of his mirror. He is still snickering when he's leaning outside the bus inhaling smoke deeply.
Seems not everything is strange here. Some things remind him of before.
~3~
Okay, he is reading Panic fic. And it's all Stefan's fault and what makes the whole thing worse (as if there could be something worse than reading Panic gsf with a fucking plot!) he might have a slight thing for this drummer of theirs. He is so fucked.
~+~
“Stalking Panic again?” Brian asks.
“No,” Steve answers, closing the laptop with a bit too much force maybe. Brian arches one eyebrow and Steve has the urge to spill all his secrets.
“We are your band now...” Brian says.
“God! It's this Smith guy, okay?” Steve answers a bit frustrated with himself. What is it about Brian that makes him want to tell him all his fucking secrets in great detail?
“Which one is he?”
“Are you never listening to Stefan reading?”
“Well...I don't care for them as much, their names could be ice cream and cigarette for all I know.” Brian answers and Steve can't believe he is for fucking real!
“The drummer,” he says after a short pause.
“Of course and you are what in a crisis now?” Brian asks. He doesn't know, okay? He is 22 and he never was into guys that much, but that doesn't mean he is convinced he is totally straight or something.
„Don't know, maybe?“ he answers, Brian grins, somehow wicked.
“Let me help you then,” he says, reaching over, grabbing Steve's neck and pulling him in so their lips are just an inch away. “I'm not going to force you...” Brian says against his lips. Steve can fell his breath on his skin, the movement of Brain's lips. He knows, he knows he has to lean in and he does, because he is curious and because it's Brian for fuck's sake. And it's not so different, more demanding maybe than a girl would be, nice. Also, Brian is a fucking great kisser.
“You are a fucking great kisser,” Steve says, Brian's finger flex on his skin as he laughs.
“Thanks. And?”
“Don't know. He has a beard,” Steve says grinning.
~+~
“Apparently there is this bar your drummer hangs out at,” Brian says off handed between two sips of coffee, for a few seconds Steve is staring at his lips, he just can't help it.
“You kissed him!” Stefan says from somewhere to his right. He sounds amused and a bit annoyed.
“He is not my drummer, Jesus...” Steve tries.
“He kissed me, that is a difference.” Brian answers. “Doesn't matter. He is hanging out there, you might like to go over and make a move or something,” he says to Steve, stealing Steve's cigarette in the process.
“If you don't he will mock you for the rest of your life,” Stefan says as he sits down.
In this moment in time and space he fucking knows that his last band was not that kind of crazy, but he also knows that he likes this kind a lot.
“I guess, I could...” Steve mumbles into his mug.
“You are a great kisser...” Brian assures him. And that's just Brian in the morning for you.
~end~