How we are
Title: How we are
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: Gerard/Mikey, Gerard/Mikey/Frank
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There are things Mikey is willing to do and there are things Mikey is willing to do for his brother.
Warning(s): angst, sex, incest, threesome-y
Author’s Notes: Written for anon_lovefest.
Word Count: 1.777
Beta: tygermine (back with me)
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~+~
When they fight, they fight silently.
Mikey is not watching. Usually he is not watching, that is. Sometimes he risks a glance at Gerard from the corner of his eye, catching Frank on his knees, or between Gerard's legs, or licking his neck. He isn't watching. He doesn't need to look to know what is going on behind him on stage. There where Gerard is with Frank.
~+~
Gerard is wet, really just wet from all the sweat and he is plastered against Mikey's back. He can feel Gerard's breath on his skin and his body heat and his tongue licking just behind his ear. His fingers tighten on his bass and then Gerard smacks a kiss on his cheek, fans are screaming and then Gerard is off to the other part of the stage where Frank is.
Mikey doesn't look, doesn't even glance in their direction.
~+~
So, when they fight it's silent.
They don't glance or speak, or touch (that's the hardest part of all).
Mikey's hands are burning from the hot mug he is clutching, the coffee inside too hot to drink, the porcelain too thin. Gerard is outside. Standing under a tree, smoking in silence. His fingers tighten on the mug, even if it hurts. Maybe because it hurts.
“Mikey?”
Mikey looks up. Frank is standing in the doorway to the small kitchen. He knew someone would come to talk sooner or later. Also, it's not really a surprise it's Frank either.
“Frank,” he says and turns back to watch Gerard.
“Are you guys fighting again?” Frank asks, sitting down, opposite Mikey.
He nods. Frank's fingers close around his and he hisses. “Fuck! That's hot...” he says snatching his hand away. “About what?”
Mikey doesn't need to ask, he knows Frank. He knows them all, the thing is they don't know him. He turns away from Gerard and looks at Frank.
“About you,” he says quietly and goes back to watching his brother through the dirty window.
~+~
He's running his fingers through Gerard's damp hair. Gerard is lying curled around a cushion, his head on Mikey's thigh: he can feel his brother's breath hot and familiar through his jeans. They are not watching a documentary about Haiti's zombies. The TV is on mute and the room is silent. He is pretty sure Gerard's eyes are closed as well. His brother turns his head and then pushes up, Mikey's fingers are still tangled in his hair; it must hurt, but Gerard's doesn't say anything, he slides down the couch and Mikey closes his eyes.
Gerard doesn't give blow-jobs that often, in fact it's pretty rare, but when he does it he does it like everything else. Like it's art: with passion and patience and attention to detail.
He drags the zipper down slowly and carefully, his fingers warm on Mikey's skin. He doesn't tease or blow air, he just licks and sucks and strokes and Mikey knows he could do it for hours, because he could lose himself in it, in the smell, taste, texture. Mikey never lasts that long. He strokes Gerard's cheek and Gerard hums. Mikey's fingers find his brother's hair and tighten around the strands, but Gerard doesn't pull away. He bites his lip as he comes, the only sound is his harsh breathing in the silence.
Gerard tugs him back in carefully and doesn't say a word.
He is sitting on the floor when Mikey opens his eyes again. Just looking at him.
“Hey...you want me to?” he asks, Gerard shakes his head and Mikey nods. He takes it as what it is: a gift. Not an apology or any of that nonsense. They never apologize. It's not how they work. Gerard turns so he can lean against the couch between Mikey's legs. He grabs the remote and switches the channel to some cartoon. Mikey begins to stroke his hair again.
~+~
Frank gives him looks and Mikey waits. He knows sooner or later he will come and talk about whatever is bothering him.
~+~
When Frank and Gerard fight, Gerard throws things at him. Not really at Frank, more like in his general direction. After all, Gerard doesn't really want to hurt anyone. There is screaming and door slamming and passion.
~+~
“Is Gerard seeing someone?” Frank asks, he is bouncing, his hands in his pockets. Mikey cocks his head to one side.
“Not since....”
“Yeah, okay,” Frank interrupts. He knows all about her. Mikey knows as well. But girls don't count. When it comes down to it, no one counts is the thing. Mikey isn't afraid. Never was.
“Why?” he asks, he knows, has a suspicion.
“I...” Frank trails off, biting his lips. “It's nothing,” he says after a while and Mikey nods.
~+~
“So, Frank...” Mikey says.
“I know,” Gerard answers. He looks at Mikey through the mirror. They need to be on stage in a few. Gerard is applying eyeliner like it's calligraphy. On Gerard it is.
“What are you going to do about it?”
“He is not...” Gerard waves his hand in all directions and Mikey nods.
“He's Frank,” he says .
“Yes.”
~+~
Mikey watches through the dirty window as Gerard is talking to Frank. They are sharing a cigarette, he suspects it's Gerard's last.
He watches as Frank goes still and then leans against an old beat up truck, closing his eyes briefly. And then he catches Mikey's gaze and holds it.
~+~
For the first time since they started this, became aware of it, whatever you want to call it, for the first time he is afraid.
~+~
Gerard throws a book at Frank and Frank grabs him by his hoodie, jerks him close and kisses him hard. He sees Gerard's eyes widen, hears him gasps, his fingers tighten in Frank's shirt before he pushes him hard. He turns to look at Mikey. He looks shocked, Frank is all wide eyed too, and Mikey has no idea how he looks right now.
~+~
Mikey is good at sharing. He always shared with Gerard and he always was willing to share Gerard, but he is not willing to share Gerard. Not even with Frank.
“You will not do that again,” he says over his morning coffee. Frank flops the butt of his cigarette onto the pavement and looks at him.
“What?”
“You will not kiss him again like that in front of me...or ever.” He doesn't look at Frank, because this is not a threat. He doesn't want it to be one. He doesn't want to make them.
“He and you, you both had lovers,” Frank says, there is an 'other' unspoken, but Mikey hears it. He nods.
“We never...this is not a sharing thing,” he answers and doesn't know if he could make an exception for Frank, if Gerard wants to make one. He suspects Gerard would.
~+~
There are things Mikey is willing to do and there are things Mikey is willing to do for his brother.
It's a huge difference. This here, this is one of the things he is willing to do for Gerard.
It's new having someone else in the room with them. Mikey can't forget about Frank sitting just a few feet away when he is kissing Gerard and he knows that Gerard can't either.
~+~
Gerard's hands are fisted in the pale blue sheets, his eyes flutter close - his lashes casting long shadows on his pale skin - as Mikey kisses his thigh. He loves Gerard's thighs; pale, fleshy and soft and Gerard always, always, bites his lip when Mikey kisses them, licks, nibbles. He thinks he could do this for hours, just worship his brother's thigh.
He grabs blindly for the lube, opens it, gives Gerard's thigh a last kiss and coats his fingers. The first finger always slides in easily and Gerard pushes against it. Gerard can come only from this, from only getting fucked. Once when they were younger, Mikey fucked him for one hour seventeen minutes until Gerard came without being touched. Because Gerard is a stubborn motherfucker. He slides in a second and then a third, twisting and pushing.
“Mikey,” Gerard whispers, they're always whispering - leftover behaviour from when they were younger and then when they shared a van and rooms with the band. He pulls his fingers out and pushes up, places his hand on Gerard's chest to feel his heartbeat and leans down to kiss him. They hear a soft moan, much louder than one of their own would ever be and turn their heads in Frank's direction. Frank's hands are clenched on his thighs and he bites his lip. Mikey kisses Gerard's cheek and Gerard turns to meet his mouth in a messy, hard kiss.
“I want to watch,” he whispers between them and Mikey nods. They usually have sex face to face, but if Gerard wants to watch Frank while he's getting fucked, Mikey will comply.
He leans back and Gerard pushes up, gets on his hands and knees and looks at Frank. Mikey closes his eyes as he slides into Gerard. When he opens them, breathing hard, Frank is in front of the bed, his hand on his dick, stroking himself. Just inches away from Gerard's face. His other hand is hovering in the air.
“I want...” he swallow and tries again. “Can I?” He looks at Gerard when he asks, but Mikey is the one who says yes. He knows Gerard wants it and he doesn't mind. Not now, not like this. Frank's fingers tangle in the soft, damp hair at Gerard's neck and Mikey holds his hips still so they can kiss for a brief moment.
Neither of them says another word. Gerard doesn't beg, or demand, or give instructions. They are beyond that by now. He licks Gerard's shoulder, kisses his pale neck, tastes the sweat between his shoulder blades.
When Gerard comes in his hand, he takes Mikey with him. Mikey never lasts long when Gerard is clenching around him. He hears a loud moan and pulls out.
Intertwining his fingers with his brother's when they lay down, facing each other. Gerard is smiling, a soft, secret smile and Mikey kisses it away.
He becomes aware of Frank again as Frank grabs his hands and begins to lick Gerard's come from Mikey's fingers and then Gerard grabs his wrists and does it as well. He closes his eyes while the fingers of his clean hand tighten on Gerard's hip.
~end~
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: Gerard/Mikey, Gerard/Mikey/Frank
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There are things Mikey is willing to do and there are things Mikey is willing to do for his brother.
Warning(s): angst, sex, incest, threesome-y
Author’s Notes: Written for anon_lovefest.
Word Count: 1.777
Beta: tygermine (back with me)
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~+~
When they fight, they fight silently.
Mikey is not watching. Usually he is not watching, that is. Sometimes he risks a glance at Gerard from the corner of his eye, catching Frank on his knees, or between Gerard's legs, or licking his neck. He isn't watching. He doesn't need to look to know what is going on behind him on stage. There where Gerard is with Frank.
~+~
Gerard is wet, really just wet from all the sweat and he is plastered against Mikey's back. He can feel Gerard's breath on his skin and his body heat and his tongue licking just behind his ear. His fingers tighten on his bass and then Gerard smacks a kiss on his cheek, fans are screaming and then Gerard is off to the other part of the stage where Frank is.
Mikey doesn't look, doesn't even glance in their direction.
~+~
So, when they fight it's silent.
They don't glance or speak, or touch (that's the hardest part of all).
Mikey's hands are burning from the hot mug he is clutching, the coffee inside too hot to drink, the porcelain too thin. Gerard is outside. Standing under a tree, smoking in silence. His fingers tighten on the mug, even if it hurts. Maybe because it hurts.
“Mikey?”
Mikey looks up. Frank is standing in the doorway to the small kitchen. He knew someone would come to talk sooner or later. Also, it's not really a surprise it's Frank either.
“Frank,” he says and turns back to watch Gerard.
“Are you guys fighting again?” Frank asks, sitting down, opposite Mikey.
He nods. Frank's fingers close around his and he hisses. “Fuck! That's hot...” he says snatching his hand away. “About what?”
Mikey doesn't need to ask, he knows Frank. He knows them all, the thing is they don't know him. He turns away from Gerard and looks at Frank.
“About you,” he says quietly and goes back to watching his brother through the dirty window.
~+~
He's running his fingers through Gerard's damp hair. Gerard is lying curled around a cushion, his head on Mikey's thigh: he can feel his brother's breath hot and familiar through his jeans. They are not watching a documentary about Haiti's zombies. The TV is on mute and the room is silent. He is pretty sure Gerard's eyes are closed as well. His brother turns his head and then pushes up, Mikey's fingers are still tangled in his hair; it must hurt, but Gerard's doesn't say anything, he slides down the couch and Mikey closes his eyes.
Gerard doesn't give blow-jobs that often, in fact it's pretty rare, but when he does it he does it like everything else. Like it's art: with passion and patience and attention to detail.
He drags the zipper down slowly and carefully, his fingers warm on Mikey's skin. He doesn't tease or blow air, he just licks and sucks and strokes and Mikey knows he could do it for hours, because he could lose himself in it, in the smell, taste, texture. Mikey never lasts that long. He strokes Gerard's cheek and Gerard hums. Mikey's fingers find his brother's hair and tighten around the strands, but Gerard doesn't pull away. He bites his lip as he comes, the only sound is his harsh breathing in the silence.
Gerard tugs him back in carefully and doesn't say a word.
He is sitting on the floor when Mikey opens his eyes again. Just looking at him.
“Hey...you want me to?” he asks, Gerard shakes his head and Mikey nods. He takes it as what it is: a gift. Not an apology or any of that nonsense. They never apologize. It's not how they work. Gerard turns so he can lean against the couch between Mikey's legs. He grabs the remote and switches the channel to some cartoon. Mikey begins to stroke his hair again.
~+~
Frank gives him looks and Mikey waits. He knows sooner or later he will come and talk about whatever is bothering him.
~+~
When Frank and Gerard fight, Gerard throws things at him. Not really at Frank, more like in his general direction. After all, Gerard doesn't really want to hurt anyone. There is screaming and door slamming and passion.
~+~
“Is Gerard seeing someone?” Frank asks, he is bouncing, his hands in his pockets. Mikey cocks his head to one side.
“Not since....”
“Yeah, okay,” Frank interrupts. He knows all about her. Mikey knows as well. But girls don't count. When it comes down to it, no one counts is the thing. Mikey isn't afraid. Never was.
“Why?” he asks, he knows, has a suspicion.
“I...” Frank trails off, biting his lips. “It's nothing,” he says after a while and Mikey nods.
~+~
“So, Frank...” Mikey says.
“I know,” Gerard answers. He looks at Mikey through the mirror. They need to be on stage in a few. Gerard is applying eyeliner like it's calligraphy. On Gerard it is.
“What are you going to do about it?”
“He is not...” Gerard waves his hand in all directions and Mikey nods.
“He's Frank,” he says .
“Yes.”
~+~
Mikey watches through the dirty window as Gerard is talking to Frank. They are sharing a cigarette, he suspects it's Gerard's last.
He watches as Frank goes still and then leans against an old beat up truck, closing his eyes briefly. And then he catches Mikey's gaze and holds it.
~+~
For the first time since they started this, became aware of it, whatever you want to call it, for the first time he is afraid.
~+~
Gerard throws a book at Frank and Frank grabs him by his hoodie, jerks him close and kisses him hard. He sees Gerard's eyes widen, hears him gasps, his fingers tighten in Frank's shirt before he pushes him hard. He turns to look at Mikey. He looks shocked, Frank is all wide eyed too, and Mikey has no idea how he looks right now.
~+~
Mikey is good at sharing. He always shared with Gerard and he always was willing to share Gerard, but he is not willing to share Gerard. Not even with Frank.
“You will not do that again,” he says over his morning coffee. Frank flops the butt of his cigarette onto the pavement and looks at him.
“What?”
“You will not kiss him again like that in front of me...or ever.” He doesn't look at Frank, because this is not a threat. He doesn't want it to be one. He doesn't want to make them.
“He and you, you both had lovers,” Frank says, there is an 'other' unspoken, but Mikey hears it. He nods.
“We never...this is not a sharing thing,” he answers and doesn't know if he could make an exception for Frank, if Gerard wants to make one. He suspects Gerard would.
~+~
There are things Mikey is willing to do and there are things Mikey is willing to do for his brother.
It's a huge difference. This here, this is one of the things he is willing to do for Gerard.
It's new having someone else in the room with them. Mikey can't forget about Frank sitting just a few feet away when he is kissing Gerard and he knows that Gerard can't either.
~+~
Gerard's hands are fisted in the pale blue sheets, his eyes flutter close - his lashes casting long shadows on his pale skin - as Mikey kisses his thigh. He loves Gerard's thighs; pale, fleshy and soft and Gerard always, always, bites his lip when Mikey kisses them, licks, nibbles. He thinks he could do this for hours, just worship his brother's thigh.
He grabs blindly for the lube, opens it, gives Gerard's thigh a last kiss and coats his fingers. The first finger always slides in easily and Gerard pushes against it. Gerard can come only from this, from only getting fucked. Once when they were younger, Mikey fucked him for one hour seventeen minutes until Gerard came without being touched. Because Gerard is a stubborn motherfucker. He slides in a second and then a third, twisting and pushing.
“Mikey,” Gerard whispers, they're always whispering - leftover behaviour from when they were younger and then when they shared a van and rooms with the band. He pulls his fingers out and pushes up, places his hand on Gerard's chest to feel his heartbeat and leans down to kiss him. They hear a soft moan, much louder than one of their own would ever be and turn their heads in Frank's direction. Frank's hands are clenched on his thighs and he bites his lip. Mikey kisses Gerard's cheek and Gerard turns to meet his mouth in a messy, hard kiss.
“I want to watch,” he whispers between them and Mikey nods. They usually have sex face to face, but if Gerard wants to watch Frank while he's getting fucked, Mikey will comply.
He leans back and Gerard pushes up, gets on his hands and knees and looks at Frank. Mikey closes his eyes as he slides into Gerard. When he opens them, breathing hard, Frank is in front of the bed, his hand on his dick, stroking himself. Just inches away from Gerard's face. His other hand is hovering in the air.
“I want...” he swallow and tries again. “Can I?” He looks at Gerard when he asks, but Mikey is the one who says yes. He knows Gerard wants it and he doesn't mind. Not now, not like this. Frank's fingers tangle in the soft, damp hair at Gerard's neck and Mikey holds his hips still so they can kiss for a brief moment.
Neither of them says another word. Gerard doesn't beg, or demand, or give instructions. They are beyond that by now. He licks Gerard's shoulder, kisses his pale neck, tastes the sweat between his shoulder blades.
When Gerard comes in his hand, he takes Mikey with him. Mikey never lasts long when Gerard is clenching around him. He hears a loud moan and pulls out.
Intertwining his fingers with his brother's when they lay down, facing each other. Gerard is smiling, a soft, secret smile and Mikey kisses it away.
He becomes aware of Frank again as Frank grabs his hands and begins to lick Gerard's come from Mikey's fingers and then Gerard grabs his wrists and does it as well. He closes his eyes while the fingers of his clean hand tighten on Gerard's hip.
~end~