(no subject)
My house...huh..?
....
I don't even know how to start this. I can't stop thinking...
Maybe I'll try this..
Dear Kaoru,
...No, not "dear".
Kaoru,
I don't know where to start, so I'll just say it. I don't know when it happened, or how, but suddenly you're all I can think about. Why does this keep happening? Suddenly I want to tell you everything I feel and everything about myself, but I...
I'm afraid that there are things going on that I don't know about, that I would be interfering with something I shouldn't be. I don't want to hurt anyone else, least of all you. I'm afraid, too, of what you might say.
I shouldn't have asked you to meet me today. I'm not sure I can do this right now...not without doing something I'll regret. I really don't know what I'm doing anymore; I'm usually so sure of things, who's feeling what and everything. It's so foggy right now, though...I don't even know what I'm feeling. So much for empathy. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm being a horrible person and than I could be ruining something...I wish I knew what to do.
You know... People that love each other, they just...in my mind they always shine. Gods, that sounds so stupid written out, but it's true. They always have this glow about them, even if they're unhappy, because someone else's soul is with them. Miaka and Tamahome radiated with that.
What happened last week scared me, really scared me, because it might not have been just whatever was making my head spin. Some kind of feeling like that must have been in there, and then I began to realize that I...
...I like you a lot. I really do. And I guess I've always wanted to have that feeling, that sort of shine, but I never wanted to take it from someone else. Maybe that's why I can't say it. Isn't that funny? I can listen to other peoples' confessions and fears, and I can't even express my own.
It's probably a good thing that you can't read this, huh? I don't even quite know what I'm saying anymore...
I'm sorry. I wish I could be a better friend to you, and not do this...I wish I could be more honest, but I don't want to mess anything up anymore... I don't know. I'll figure something out, though. I promise.
((oh no! Something will happen! :O But what...? This may need to be RPed to find out...))