if i didn't know any better, i would be sure that my future self hates my current self and has traveled back in time to lay traps to ensure that i never accomplish anything
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What to say? I've woken up to myself sometimes, seen my soul laid bare and recoiled in horror. Knowing that I'm seeing the naked truth of who and what I am. Fooling others seems sometimes easier than fooling myself. I want to believe differently.
To me it's called despair. It sneaks in and sometimes is my unwelcome companion for so long I no longer even want to exist. But I do.
Mood? Chemical imbalance? Glimpse of real truth about the world, humanity or myself in general? I'm not sure. But I do know that it passes-eventually. In the meantime I take my meds, drink too much and tread the water of time waiting for the day it begins to fade.
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To me it's called despair. It sneaks in and sometimes is my unwelcome companion for so long I no longer even want to exist. But I do.
Mood? Chemical imbalance? Glimpse of real truth about the world, humanity or myself in general? I'm not sure. But I do know that it passes-eventually. In the meantime I take my meds, drink too much and tread the water of time waiting for the day it begins to fade.
You're not alone. I hope somehow that helps.
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