A Pawnee Christmas Carol 1/5
Title: A Pawnee Christmas Carol 1/5
Pairing: Leslie/Ben
Rating: Mostly PG-ish, although Sewage Joe does his best to make it an R in Part 3 (plus there's a little NC-17 in the addendum).
Timeline: It's fall 2011 and Ben left Pawnee not long after End of the World, trying to forget all about Leslie Knope and move on.
Summary: He doesn't really forget or move on...and he's definitely lost his holiday spirit. That's when his ex-partner Chris, followed by three Christmas ghosts from Pawnee show up to help.
Notes: This is pretty cracky. Also, I got this idea when waffle-sjunior posted on tumblr about a Parks/It's a Wonderful Life AU--and I always mix that up with A Christmas Carol, so I started thinking about this, before I realized It's A Wonderful Life was the other Christmas thing.
Also, it's a fairly big canon divergence after End of the World. Because of all the ghosts.
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Prologue
Ben’s new apartment in Indianapolis is mostly still empty after two months.
Although, he does have a brand new black couch and chair, and his bed, desk, and TV from April and Andy’s house. There are also few boxes that were in storage from his years of mostly living on the road, but those too are now sitting in his brand new living room, still unpacked.
He also has a kitchen table. He's standing in front of it after getting home from work at his new job at the accounting firm, and absolutely not at all thinking about Leslie Knope and how much he misses her. It's then that his curiosity finally gets the better of him and he opens the cookie tin that Chris sent from Pawnee.
Ben takes one out and tentatively tries a bite of the flaxseed and oat treat. Almost immediately, he makes a face and mumbles, “Good lord,” under his breath, managing to spit some of the cookie out and into his sink. Ben runs the water as the garbage disposal takes care of what he got out before swallowing.
He loves Chris like a brother, but Jesus, that guy does not understand the concept of a dessert.
A couple of hours later, Ben is in bed, almost asleep when he hears it…a light clanking noise coming from his living room. It’s followed promptly by a high-pitched squeaking whine.
Clank. Squeak. Clank. Squeak. Clank. Squeak.
Then there are a few rattles, accompanied by a some grunts and deep breaths. What the hell?
He slowly makes his way to the living room, wishing he had a baseball bat or something for protection, turns on the light switch, and sees-
"Chris?"
"Ben Wyatt!" His friend announces happily, slowing his pace down on the silver exercise bike. As he does, Chris stops exhaling loudly and the clanking, squeaking, and rattling noises slow too-the bike’s chain must have a kink in it, making a number of sounds as it travels around the axle. Or something like that? Ben doesn’t really get bikes.
"Chris what are you doing here? And why are you exercising in my living room?"
"Oh, I’m just doing a few miles while I was waiting for you to wake up," he says, glancing at the odometer before stepping off the bike and over to Ben. "Seven. Not bad. I have a message to deliver. You, Ben Wyatt, have lost your holiday spirit. It’s Christmas Eve and you’re all alone, in your new apartment, feeling sorry for yourself."
"Well, it is my apartment. I’m allowed to do that. But, this isn't my bike. Where did--"
"Don’t worry about the bike. We have more important things to discuss--I’m here to right a wrong."
"Like in Quantum Leap?” Ben asks, making a face.
"Close, but not quite. Let me rephrase that. I’m here to stop you from traveling down the wrong path. A path that will bring you nothing but despair and unhappiness and this is the first part of that entire process. It’s a training program that I like to call, Tools (for) Immersion Merriment-it’s effective but really very tiny.” Chris proudly holds up the small binder for Ben to see.
"Wait…what?"
But Chris doesn’t wait. “Tonight you will be visited by three ghosts, and each one will reveal to you a piece of the puzzle that is Ben Wyatt. They will help you find your missing holiday spirit. And you will get back on the path that you’re truly supposed to be on. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
"Not really," Ben comments. "Oh, wait. This is like A Christmas Carol?”
"This is literally, just like A Christmas Carol. Good job! See, you’re already making progress,” Chris assures him.
”Bah humbug,” Ben mutters under his breath.
Part 2: The Ghost of Christmas Past
Pairing: Leslie/Ben
Rating: Mostly PG-ish, although Sewage Joe does his best to make it an R in Part 3 (plus there's a little NC-17 in the addendum).
Timeline: It's fall 2011 and Ben left Pawnee not long after End of the World, trying to forget all about Leslie Knope and move on.
Summary: He doesn't really forget or move on...and he's definitely lost his holiday spirit. That's when his ex-partner Chris, followed by three Christmas ghosts from Pawnee show up to help.
Notes: This is pretty cracky. Also, I got this idea when waffle-sjunior posted on tumblr about a Parks/It's a Wonderful Life AU--and I always mix that up with A Christmas Carol, so I started thinking about this, before I realized It's A Wonderful Life was the other Christmas thing.
Also, it's a fairly big canon divergence after End of the World. Because of all the ghosts.
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Prologue
Ben’s new apartment in Indianapolis is mostly still empty after two months.
Although, he does have a brand new black couch and chair, and his bed, desk, and TV from April and Andy’s house. There are also few boxes that were in storage from his years of mostly living on the road, but those too are now sitting in his brand new living room, still unpacked.
He also has a kitchen table. He's standing in front of it after getting home from work at his new job at the accounting firm, and absolutely not at all thinking about Leslie Knope and how much he misses her. It's then that his curiosity finally gets the better of him and he opens the cookie tin that Chris sent from Pawnee.
Ben takes one out and tentatively tries a bite of the flaxseed and oat treat. Almost immediately, he makes a face and mumbles, “Good lord,” under his breath, managing to spit some of the cookie out and into his sink. Ben runs the water as the garbage disposal takes care of what he got out before swallowing.
He loves Chris like a brother, but Jesus, that guy does not understand the concept of a dessert.
A couple of hours later, Ben is in bed, almost asleep when he hears it…a light clanking noise coming from his living room. It’s followed promptly by a high-pitched squeaking whine.
Clank. Squeak. Clank. Squeak. Clank. Squeak.
Then there are a few rattles, accompanied by a some grunts and deep breaths. What the hell?
He slowly makes his way to the living room, wishing he had a baseball bat or something for protection, turns on the light switch, and sees-
"Chris?"
"Ben Wyatt!" His friend announces happily, slowing his pace down on the silver exercise bike. As he does, Chris stops exhaling loudly and the clanking, squeaking, and rattling noises slow too-the bike’s chain must have a kink in it, making a number of sounds as it travels around the axle. Or something like that? Ben doesn’t really get bikes.
"Chris what are you doing here? And why are you exercising in my living room?"
"Oh, I’m just doing a few miles while I was waiting for you to wake up," he says, glancing at the odometer before stepping off the bike and over to Ben. "Seven. Not bad. I have a message to deliver. You, Ben Wyatt, have lost your holiday spirit. It’s Christmas Eve and you’re all alone, in your new apartment, feeling sorry for yourself."
"Well, it is my apartment. I’m allowed to do that. But, this isn't my bike. Where did--"
"Don’t worry about the bike. We have more important things to discuss--I’m here to right a wrong."
"Like in Quantum Leap?” Ben asks, making a face.
"Close, but not quite. Let me rephrase that. I’m here to stop you from traveling down the wrong path. A path that will bring you nothing but despair and unhappiness and this is the first part of that entire process. It’s a training program that I like to call, Tools (for) Immersion Merriment-it’s effective but really very tiny.” Chris proudly holds up the small binder for Ben to see.
"Wait…what?"
But Chris doesn’t wait. “Tonight you will be visited by three ghosts, and each one will reveal to you a piece of the puzzle that is Ben Wyatt. They will help you find your missing holiday spirit. And you will get back on the path that you’re truly supposed to be on. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
"Not really," Ben comments. "Oh, wait. This is like A Christmas Carol?”
"This is literally, just like A Christmas Carol. Good job! See, you’re already making progress,” Chris assures him.
”Bah humbug,” Ben mutters under his breath.
Part 2: The Ghost of Christmas Past