The Great State of Inebriation
Title: The Great State of Inebriation
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Drunken hotel room sex.
Timeline: Season 7, during Donna and Joe.
Notes: Prompted on Tumblr by jenniferbarkley (but I probably would have done it anyway)
"Hey," Ben leans up against the door to their hotel room, grinning. "Do you have the key card thingie?"
"Yeah," Leslie answers, as she starts rummaging through her purse. "Here," she starts to hand it over, then pulls it back. "Wait. I wanna do it."
"You always do it too fast."
"No, I don't." She shoves the key card in the slot and whips it out. They both watch as the little red light comes on.
"Babe. See?" He's trying not to laugh as he uses the wall for support. How much wine did he drink? He lost count after four glasses, but he suspects it might have been more by the way he wants to giggle at everything--including Leslie as she struggles with their door.
"It's fine." She does it again and once again, the red light blinks. "Motherfuc--"
Ben laughs at her words, as swearing openly is now a luxury with three toddlers typically running around, and takes the keycard from her.
He gives his wife a grin. "Here. Let me show you how it's done, baby doll."
His eyes stay on hers the whole time as he very slowly slides the card into the slot, waits a beat, then slowly pulls it out. Ben smirks at her just a bit as the green light goes on.
"Okay, fine. Get in here," she grabs him by the tie and pulls him into the room.
As soon as the door shuts, they're kissing. Sloppy, enthusiastic, drunken kisses that leave them both breathless. And while they certainly find a way to make it work while at home, there's something truly exciting about being all alone in a hotel room together (even if it is his old home-sweet-home, the newly upgraded Pawnee Super Suites). Something intoxicatingly sexy and fun and while Ben really, really wants to kiss and make out he also needs to--
"I want do it," he says blurts out suddenly.
"Me too, my sexy roommate," Leslie agrees, starting to unbutton his shirt. "I wanna do it all over the hotel room with you."
"No, I mean," Ben pauses. "Well, yeah, I want to do that, do it, definitely, but I also want to be in Congress."
Her eyes widen. "Really?"
"Yeah," he waits a second more to gauge her reaction. "How do you feel about that?"
"Oh my god, that's awesome! You're going to be such a hot, sexy congressional member. Congressman Wyatt."
"That's me! Well, if I win."
"You'll win. You already have my vote." She kisses him.
"And you'll be..." Ben starts.
"Mrs. Congressman Wyatt-Knope...from the great state of..."
"Inebriation!" Ben finishes.
They high-five and both dissolve into laughter.
"I should call Jenn. Right now! I mean, this can't possibly wait until a reasonable time tomorrow, right? What's her number?"
Leslie grins, kicks off her shoes, and tosses him her phone. "867-5309."
Ben starts dialing. "Hey...wait a minute..."
When he looks up at her, Leslie's hand is over her mouth and she's cackling from her spot now sitting on the bed.
"You are a giant goofball. I think you have her number on your phone already..." he starts scrolling through her contacts. "Yeah, here it is. Okay," Ben gestures with his hand. "It's ringing. Ringing. Voicemail."
He waits for the beep while Leslie starts singing the Tommy Tutone song. Ben tells Jen that he's decided to run, while Leslie belts out lyrics about finding a number on a wall--they make such a great team.
When he hangs up, he tosses the phone on one of the chairs. "There. Done. I'm practically a congressman."
"Come here Congressman Wyatt. I want to lobby you...hard," she tells him, before grabbing his hand.
They both end up on the bed, rolling around the covers, giggling, while trying to get clothes off. He's managed to get her dress unzipped and to kick his pants off when he remembers something. Something important.
Ben stops right after he unclasps her bra. "Hey, uh, wait. You were kidding earlier, right?"
"What?" Leslie pulls back to look at him.
"You know, when you said you wanted to make more babies. You were seriously not being serious, correct?"
"Oh my god, babe. Of course I was joking!"
"Okay. Okay, good. Because you know that's not going to...I mean we talked about that last year and that's why I got--"
"I know. Ben. Ben. Honey. Honey bunches of oats...mmmm, I'm hungry," Leslie grips onto his unbuttoned shirt and pulls him closer. "Honeybear," she reaches down to tickle his belly, push her hand just inside the waistband of his boxers. "I love you. So much. And I love our little monsters like crazy. But I never, ever want to be pregnant again. And honestly, I don't think our house could withstand more children."
Ben laughs as Leslie sits up, pulls her bra off, and flings it over her shoulder and near the bathroom.
"I mean...I would rather..." she pauses and looks around their suite. "Set fire to this hotel room and stab myself in the eyes will all of the salad forks from dinner tonight than be pregnant again."
"Okay." Ben shrugs his shirt off.
"I would rather eat a hundred pounds of kale and run over my own foot with the minivan. Oh! While being forced to watch every single episode of Red Elf."
"Red Dwarf," he corrects. "And good. Because this gunslinger is shooting blanks now, remember?" He accents his word by pointing and shooting his fingers. "Pew. Pew. Pew. Pew."
Leslie starts laughing. "Oh my god, it would be so funny if you made that noise when you came."
"Oh, it would," Ben agrees, nodding. "Remind me to do that."
"Are we good now?" Leslie asks. "Can we fuck?"
"Yep. Yeah, All good. Let's go, baby cakes."
Ben sits up in front of her and uses the front of her dress, where it hangs around her waist, to tug her forward for a kiss. While their mouths are joined, his hands palm her breasts and then circle her nipples until she shudders.
Leslie attempts to shimmy her dress the rest of the way down and it takes a few minutes before they're both naked (pantyhose seem like such a pain on the ass to wear and Ben's incredibly glad that men don't have to deal with anything so uncomfortable-seeming), but once there, he's again reminded of the appeal to a night alone in a hotel room, just the two of them.
"I wonder...if there's a trick to getting inside you?"
Leslie laughs, but it turns into a low gasp when Ben slides a finger slowly inside her, then draws it out a little at a time. "Slow," he whispers. Then he pushes in again quicker and pulls out at the same speed. "Fast."
"Green light for both," Leslie responds, breathlessly.
"Slow," Ben whispers in her ear again as his thumb gently circles her clit. He pushes another finger in, slides them both in and out with a shallow rhythm, where she's all wet and hot, while he works her clit with quicker movements. "Fast."
"Oh, god."
Ben continues playing with her, moving slowly, ratcheting up her arousal before he asks, "Do you want me to open you with my fingers or my mouth?"
"Mmmm, mouth, please."
"Yeah? I may have to try a few different approaches," he mumbles, "to find the right one."
He's kissing and licking his way down her stomach, past her belly button, and to her thighs. He gets up and pulls her to the edge of the bed so he can kneel in front of her, spread her legs wide, and hook her knees over his shoulders. "Slow," he teases, before licking a path across where she's all spread open, from bottom to top.
"Fast."
His tongue flicks quickly against her clit. Leslie's fingers come to rest in his hair as he licks and kisses, slows it down and speeds it up, growls when she pushes into his face. She always tastes so fucking good, squirming and grinding, all while he holds her firmly in place.
She tastes especially good when she comes against his mouth, panting and moaning, her legs shaking and her heels digging into his upper back. It's almost too quick, so he spends a little time kissing along the inside of her thighs while her breathing slows down and she wiggles against his cheek.
Ben crawls up along her body, peppering her skin with kisses along the way, while Leslie moves back so she's more in the center of the large, king-size bed.
"So...am I in?"
She smiles at him, pulls him down for a kiss while he presses against her, rubs his cock against where she's already so wet and ready for him. "You are always so in."
Leslie turns over on her stomach. "Like this."
Ben groans, tugs at her hips until she's up on her knees. "Oh god, I like this." He gives her a light slap on the ass.
"I know, oh! Mmmm, me too."
He pushes in slow and full, his hands gripping her hips. Currently, doggy-style is usually reserved for one of the rare nights the kids are at Marlene's or at April and Andy's--just in case one of their tiny roommates happens to pick that time for wanting a glass of water or having a nightmare.
If they ever did get walked in on, it really seems like the hardest of all positions to try and explain away as hugging.
As usual, she feels amazing, clutching around him, pushing back as he wraps an arm around her, finds her clit, and starts to rub lightly. Leslie lays her upper body down further, her head resting against her arm as he fucks her from behind. Pulls all the way out and pushes back in slowly, squeezes her hip as he speeds up.
It seems like he's forgetting about something just as he feels her lower body stiffen up, a tell-tale sign that she's about to come. Sure enough, a few seconds later she's gasping and shuddering, her hips moving erratically back into his and it's more than enough to send him over the edge, for him to release everything inside of her.
They spend a few minutes spooning, his arms wrapped around her as they lie on their sides. He doesn't think she's fallen asleep, because her hand is still reaching back to lightly stoke the the skin of his hip.
"You know what we should do now?" Ben asks, sitting up to look at her and yeah, she's definitely wide awake.
"Find snacks?"
"No. Call Jenn. I want to tell her about my ideas on education and fiscal responsibility."
"Oh, you should do that, and I'm going to try calling 867-5309. I can ask for Jenny!" She giggles. "That's so funny! Ohhhhh and then I'm going to hit the vending machine."
"You should totally do all of that. Okay, new plan--I'll find our phones and you find our pajamas. Because it would be weird to call Jenn so late while I'm naked."
"Definitely," Leslie agrees.
Actually, the best thing about being married, Ben thinks while he enjoys the view of his wife bending over and digging around in their luggage for pajama pants and a couple of her extra training session t-shirts, the part he didn't mention in his speech, is Leslie Knope. The best possible thing about being married is who he's married to--someone he can laugh and be silly with, make plans with, and be in awe of--someone who wants to crank call a phone number from an 80s pop song at two in the morning.
"Okay, so you're on pajamas, I'm on phones. We'll meet back here on the bed in say," Ben says, looking at his watch. "Two minutes."
"Perfect! God, you're so smart. You're going to make an amazing Royal Archduke Sultan Emperor of all inhabitable lands on Earth!"
Ben nods, grinning. "I know! Wait, what?"
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Drunken hotel room sex.
Timeline: Season 7, during Donna and Joe.
Notes: Prompted on Tumblr by jenniferbarkley (but I probably would have done it anyway)
"Hey," Ben leans up against the door to their hotel room, grinning. "Do you have the key card thingie?"
"Yeah," Leslie answers, as she starts rummaging through her purse. "Here," she starts to hand it over, then pulls it back. "Wait. I wanna do it."
"You always do it too fast."
"No, I don't." She shoves the key card in the slot and whips it out. They both watch as the little red light comes on.
"Babe. See?" He's trying not to laugh as he uses the wall for support. How much wine did he drink? He lost count after four glasses, but he suspects it might have been more by the way he wants to giggle at everything--including Leslie as she struggles with their door.
"It's fine." She does it again and once again, the red light blinks. "Motherfuc--"
Ben laughs at her words, as swearing openly is now a luxury with three toddlers typically running around, and takes the keycard from her.
He gives his wife a grin. "Here. Let me show you how it's done, baby doll."
His eyes stay on hers the whole time as he very slowly slides the card into the slot, waits a beat, then slowly pulls it out. Ben smirks at her just a bit as the green light goes on.
"Okay, fine. Get in here," she grabs him by the tie and pulls him into the room.
As soon as the door shuts, they're kissing. Sloppy, enthusiastic, drunken kisses that leave them both breathless. And while they certainly find a way to make it work while at home, there's something truly exciting about being all alone in a hotel room together (even if it is his old home-sweet-home, the newly upgraded Pawnee Super Suites). Something intoxicatingly sexy and fun and while Ben really, really wants to kiss and make out he also needs to--
"I want do it," he says blurts out suddenly.
"Me too, my sexy roommate," Leslie agrees, starting to unbutton his shirt. "I wanna do it all over the hotel room with you."
"No, I mean," Ben pauses. "Well, yeah, I want to do that, do it, definitely, but I also want to be in Congress."
Her eyes widen. "Really?"
"Yeah," he waits a second more to gauge her reaction. "How do you feel about that?"
"Oh my god, that's awesome! You're going to be such a hot, sexy congressional member. Congressman Wyatt."
"That's me! Well, if I win."
"You'll win. You already have my vote." She kisses him.
"And you'll be..." Ben starts.
"Mrs. Congressman Wyatt-Knope...from the great state of..."
"Inebriation!" Ben finishes.
They high-five and both dissolve into laughter.
"I should call Jenn. Right now! I mean, this can't possibly wait until a reasonable time tomorrow, right? What's her number?"
Leslie grins, kicks off her shoes, and tosses him her phone. "867-5309."
Ben starts dialing. "Hey...wait a minute..."
When he looks up at her, Leslie's hand is over her mouth and she's cackling from her spot now sitting on the bed.
"You are a giant goofball. I think you have her number on your phone already..." he starts scrolling through her contacts. "Yeah, here it is. Okay," Ben gestures with his hand. "It's ringing. Ringing. Voicemail."
He waits for the beep while Leslie starts singing the Tommy Tutone song. Ben tells Jen that he's decided to run, while Leslie belts out lyrics about finding a number on a wall--they make such a great team.
When he hangs up, he tosses the phone on one of the chairs. "There. Done. I'm practically a congressman."
"Come here Congressman Wyatt. I want to lobby you...hard," she tells him, before grabbing his hand.
They both end up on the bed, rolling around the covers, giggling, while trying to get clothes off. He's managed to get her dress unzipped and to kick his pants off when he remembers something. Something important.
Ben stops right after he unclasps her bra. "Hey, uh, wait. You were kidding earlier, right?"
"What?" Leslie pulls back to look at him.
"You know, when you said you wanted to make more babies. You were seriously not being serious, correct?"
"Oh my god, babe. Of course I was joking!"
"Okay. Okay, good. Because you know that's not going to...I mean we talked about that last year and that's why I got--"
"I know. Ben. Ben. Honey. Honey bunches of oats...mmmm, I'm hungry," Leslie grips onto his unbuttoned shirt and pulls him closer. "Honeybear," she reaches down to tickle his belly, push her hand just inside the waistband of his boxers. "I love you. So much. And I love our little monsters like crazy. But I never, ever want to be pregnant again. And honestly, I don't think our house could withstand more children."
Ben laughs as Leslie sits up, pulls her bra off, and flings it over her shoulder and near the bathroom.
"I mean...I would rather..." she pauses and looks around their suite. "Set fire to this hotel room and stab myself in the eyes will all of the salad forks from dinner tonight than be pregnant again."
"Okay." Ben shrugs his shirt off.
"I would rather eat a hundred pounds of kale and run over my own foot with the minivan. Oh! While being forced to watch every single episode of Red Elf."
"Red Dwarf," he corrects. "And good. Because this gunslinger is shooting blanks now, remember?" He accents his word by pointing and shooting his fingers. "Pew. Pew. Pew. Pew."
Leslie starts laughing. "Oh my god, it would be so funny if you made that noise when you came."
"Oh, it would," Ben agrees, nodding. "Remind me to do that."
"Are we good now?" Leslie asks. "Can we fuck?"
"Yep. Yeah, All good. Let's go, baby cakes."
Ben sits up in front of her and uses the front of her dress, where it hangs around her waist, to tug her forward for a kiss. While their mouths are joined, his hands palm her breasts and then circle her nipples until she shudders.
Leslie attempts to shimmy her dress the rest of the way down and it takes a few minutes before they're both naked (pantyhose seem like such a pain on the ass to wear and Ben's incredibly glad that men don't have to deal with anything so uncomfortable-seeming), but once there, he's again reminded of the appeal to a night alone in a hotel room, just the two of them.
"I wonder...if there's a trick to getting inside you?"
Leslie laughs, but it turns into a low gasp when Ben slides a finger slowly inside her, then draws it out a little at a time. "Slow," he whispers. Then he pushes in again quicker and pulls out at the same speed. "Fast."
"Green light for both," Leslie responds, breathlessly.
"Slow," Ben whispers in her ear again as his thumb gently circles her clit. He pushes another finger in, slides them both in and out with a shallow rhythm, where she's all wet and hot, while he works her clit with quicker movements. "Fast."
"Oh, god."
Ben continues playing with her, moving slowly, ratcheting up her arousal before he asks, "Do you want me to open you with my fingers or my mouth?"
"Mmmm, mouth, please."
"Yeah? I may have to try a few different approaches," he mumbles, "to find the right one."
He's kissing and licking his way down her stomach, past her belly button, and to her thighs. He gets up and pulls her to the edge of the bed so he can kneel in front of her, spread her legs wide, and hook her knees over his shoulders. "Slow," he teases, before licking a path across where she's all spread open, from bottom to top.
"Fast."
His tongue flicks quickly against her clit. Leslie's fingers come to rest in his hair as he licks and kisses, slows it down and speeds it up, growls when she pushes into his face. She always tastes so fucking good, squirming and grinding, all while he holds her firmly in place.
She tastes especially good when she comes against his mouth, panting and moaning, her legs shaking and her heels digging into his upper back. It's almost too quick, so he spends a little time kissing along the inside of her thighs while her breathing slows down and she wiggles against his cheek.
Ben crawls up along her body, peppering her skin with kisses along the way, while Leslie moves back so she's more in the center of the large, king-size bed.
"So...am I in?"
She smiles at him, pulls him down for a kiss while he presses against her, rubs his cock against where she's already so wet and ready for him. "You are always so in."
Leslie turns over on her stomach. "Like this."
Ben groans, tugs at her hips until she's up on her knees. "Oh god, I like this." He gives her a light slap on the ass.
"I know, oh! Mmmm, me too."
He pushes in slow and full, his hands gripping her hips. Currently, doggy-style is usually reserved for one of the rare nights the kids are at Marlene's or at April and Andy's--just in case one of their tiny roommates happens to pick that time for wanting a glass of water or having a nightmare.
If they ever did get walked in on, it really seems like the hardest of all positions to try and explain away as hugging.
As usual, she feels amazing, clutching around him, pushing back as he wraps an arm around her, finds her clit, and starts to rub lightly. Leslie lays her upper body down further, her head resting against her arm as he fucks her from behind. Pulls all the way out and pushes back in slowly, squeezes her hip as he speeds up.
It seems like he's forgetting about something just as he feels her lower body stiffen up, a tell-tale sign that she's about to come. Sure enough, a few seconds later she's gasping and shuddering, her hips moving erratically back into his and it's more than enough to send him over the edge, for him to release everything inside of her.
They spend a few minutes spooning, his arms wrapped around her as they lie on their sides. He doesn't think she's fallen asleep, because her hand is still reaching back to lightly stoke the the skin of his hip.
"You know what we should do now?" Ben asks, sitting up to look at her and yeah, she's definitely wide awake.
"Find snacks?"
"No. Call Jenn. I want to tell her about my ideas on education and fiscal responsibility."
"Oh, you should do that, and I'm going to try calling 867-5309. I can ask for Jenny!" She giggles. "That's so funny! Ohhhhh and then I'm going to hit the vending machine."
"You should totally do all of that. Okay, new plan--I'll find our phones and you find our pajamas. Because it would be weird to call Jenn so late while I'm naked."
"Definitely," Leslie agrees.
Actually, the best thing about being married, Ben thinks while he enjoys the view of his wife bending over and digging around in their luggage for pajama pants and a couple of her extra training session t-shirts, the part he didn't mention in his speech, is Leslie Knope. The best possible thing about being married is who he's married to--someone he can laugh and be silly with, make plans with, and be in awe of--someone who wants to crank call a phone number from an 80s pop song at two in the morning.
"Okay, so you're on pajamas, I'm on phones. We'll meet back here on the bed in say," Ben says, looking at his watch. "Two minutes."
"Perfect! God, you're so smart. You're going to make an amazing Royal Archduke Sultan Emperor of all inhabitable lands on Earth!"
Ben nods, grinning. "I know! Wait, what?"