Drabbles 5
Summary: 1. Leslie shaves. Both she and Ben love it, 2. Valentine's Day 2014, 3. Pie-Mary post-ep, 4. the first time Ben held the triplets, 5. Ben and Leslie buying their new house, 6. Galentine's Day 2018, 7. Can I kiss you?, 8. Ben and Sonia - Here’s a thing that happens in 2029, 9. How Long Has it Been?
Rating: Generally PG, but who knows?
Timeline: All over the place! From Season 3 to post-season 7.
1. Leslie shaves. Both she and Ben love it.
She’s frantically rummaging around her bathroom cabinets looking for the can of shaving gel when Leslie finally, thankfully, finds it stashed away behind a bottle of vanilla-scented bubble bath and a milk crate full of old, mismatched curlers.
Seeing that it’s mid-November and she hasn’t felt that motivated (or had the time) to do much leg maintenance the last couple of months, the tropical smelling gel had gotten pushed all the way in the back.
Why the hell couldn’t they have gotten back together in July? she thinks as she quickly unzips her pants, tugs them down, and then off. Nylons are next and then, she turns the warm water on and lifts her foot into the sink. She manages to slather her leg with the fragrant pineapple and mango-scented gel without making too much of a mess.
And of course, Leslie knows that Ben is probably not going to care that her legs are a little hairy. She knows this. If it were just a run-of-the-mill Thursday night, it’d be fine-they would probably laugh about it. Maybe he’d tease her a little, but it would be cute and funny. And then they’d fuck and it would be awesome.
But, it’s not a regular Thursday. It’s their first time back together and after that romantic and perfect kiss at the Smallest Park earlier in the evening and when she’s already feeling a little nervous and excited, she really doesn’t want to be self-conscious during the sure-to-be-amazing, Screw It! we’re-doing-this-thing-for-real, reunion sex that’s about to happen between her and Ben.
What it comes down to is this-no matter how silly it seems, she really wants to shave her legs before they get all naked together for the first time in…oh my god, she thinks, so many miserable, unnecessary, long months.
Right. So she looks around for her razor and-“Crap on a cupcake!”
It’s in the shower, on the other side of her cluttered bathroom. Leslie tries to delicately hobble over to the tub, without getting the now foamy shaving gel all over the bathroom floor, grabs the pink plastic razor from the caddy, and manages to get her foot back up and into the sink without tripping over her discarded pants when Ben knocks on the door.
“Um, hi. Is everything okay in there?”
“Yeah! Perfect! Out in just a few minutes!”
“But is something wrong? What’s happening?” He asks next and he even sounds a little worried.
“No. No. Nothing is wrong,” she manages to get out while she glides the razor up the front of her leg. “Hey. There’s a biography about Martha Washington on my bed, why don’t you read some of that for a few minutes. To uh…get you in the mood?” As soon as she says it she closes her eyes and shakes her head. That’s ridiculous even for her.
“Leslie, um, if the timing’s bad, you know, we can just cuddle or, um, if you don’t mind, I don’t mind if you’re-”
“No. No. It’s not that. It’s not…I’ll just be a minute or two more. It’s fine. Ow!” She nicks herself with the razor right near her ankle. Great.
"Okay, I’m going to come in-”
“Ben!”
He opens the door slowly with his hand over his eyes, his hair all messy from the making out earlier, his brown cardigan and striped tie already discarded and downstairs somewhere on her couch. “Hi. Are you okay? Can I help?”
She sighs and then smiles at him even though he can’t see her. “You’re very sweet. Fine. You can uncover your eyes.”
Ben pulls his hand away and takes the scene in-Leslie in just her blouse, already halfway unbuttoned from earlier, her plain black bra clearly visible, and a pair of red and white polka dot cotton panties, foot up in the sink, leg half-covered in white foam, pink razor in hand.
“Oh,” Ben gets out before bursting into quiet laughter. “I’m sorry. I…Okay.”
“I haven’t shaved my legs since late August,” she confesses.
He stares at her trying not to laugh again. He is not successful.
“It’s not that funny.” She says but it is…she knows it is. And then Leslie’s laughing too, finally releasing everything that’s been building up inside her chest since he first took her in his arms at their park.
"No. I know. Not at all amusing. It’s just…you’re not wearing any pants and you’re trying to sneakily shave your legs in the sink.”
“Do you have a point, Ben?” She asks, returning his grin.
“Yeah. This is really…cute. You’re really cute,” he says in a rush and then moves quickly behind her, puts his arms around her waist and tugs her back gently to kiss the side of her neck.
“Well, I still have one leg to go,” Leslie tells him, rinsing the current one off. “So it will be a couple of minutes.”
“You cut yourself,” Ben says, noticing the small trickle of blood from where she nicked herself earlier. He moves over, grabs a small piece of toilet paper, and presses it against the red spot. “Just leave that there while we do the other one.”
“We?” Leslie asks, and has to hold back a giggle.
She puts her foot back down on the floor and grabs a towel from where it hangs on the shower rod to quickly dry off her right leg. While she’s bent over, Ben holds onto her hips, lets his hands wander down and grope her ass a little.
“Yeah. I’ll help. It’s the least I can do.”
When she straightens back up, he’s looking at her in the mirror.
Ben picks up the can of gel. He’s smiling at her, taps her left hip impatiently. “Leg up.”
“Okay,” Leslie replies, putting her other foot in the sink, splashing a little water on her skin.
Ben squirts a line of the gel lightly over her leg below the knee, then starts smoothing it around with his palm, letting it foam up while she watches in the mirror. He’s right behind her and if she wiggles back a little, she can feel him growing hard in his pants, right where he’s pressed against her ass.
“Hold on. This is serious business,” he teases.
When he’s done lathering her up, he rinses his hand off and passes Leslie the pink plastic razor, before drying off on the towel. “Your turn.”
Ben’s hands stay on her hips as she quickly shaves and the few times she does look up, she watches them both in the mirror, their eyes meeting in the reflection.
Seeing herself like this, messy and half-naked, with Ben behind her is really sexy-the way his palms are cupping her hips, fingers pushing lightly into her where her shirt is hanging down and he’s just staring at her like he can’t wait to get her blouse unbuttoned the rest of the way and her underwear pulled down.
After the last swipe of the razor, she rinses her leg off, but before she can lift her foot out of the sink and her leg toweled off, Ben slides his hand around her right hip and right down the front of her panties.
”Oh.”
It’s been so long since she’s felt his fingers there. Too long. She thought about it while they were broken up, of course she did, but feeling the real thing again, she realizes just how incredibly her memory had paled in comparison.
Leslie closes her eyes at the sudden sensations-her stomach fluttering as his fingers tease past her curls, then sliding further, her raised leg giving him easy access to everything. Leslie’s leaning back against Ben and he feels so solid and warm, and he’s touching her clit and teasing her entrance and when she opens her eyes, Ben is watching her-them.
His eyes are all dark and full of desire and he’s got this quiet intensity to him that makes her want to shudder just from his gaze alone.
Lately, the looks directed at her have been more of the frustrated, hurt, and even angry variety-this is so much better. She’s so turned on, plus also relieved and happy and nervous and a million different emotions that are all coursing through her at once.
“I missed you so much,” she says simply and she has to fight to control her voice, so it doesn’t come out in a sob.
Ben just smiles, his features softening and he leans in and kisses her neck, right in the exact spot he knows makes her shiver, while his eyes never leave hers in the mirror. “I missed you too, Leslie.”
He tightens his other arm around her waist, holding her back against him and then pushes a finger inside where she’s already so wet and wanting him, his thumb brushing at her clit as she gasps and grinds against his fingers.
“I want to watch you come,” he whispers in her ear and yeah, she really wants to watch this too. “And then I want to go in the bedroom and bury myself inside you. I honestly never really stopped wanting to do that.”
She stops herself from saying that she’s sorry once again-a phrase she’s been repeating almost since they got in her car to come here.
She’s sorry they broke up.
She’s sorry she was all crazy the night of the Reasonablists. She’s sorry she said the romantic part of their relationship was over. She’s sorry she stole his pens and pencils (but no, he can’t have them back). She’s sorry for not listening to what he wanted. All while Ben kept telling her quietly to stop-that he didn’t care about any of that anymore.
So instead, she just agrees with him. Leslie nods her head as she leans back against him, letting him support her, enjoying the feel of his body, his arm holding her close, his fingers playing with her body.
“Yeah. Yeah. We should definitely do…Ohhhhh.”
Her eyes snap shut when he hits a certain spot, his thumb still rubbing softly against her clit, flicking gently against the bundle of nerves, and she can feel the pleasurable waves start to spread.
He’s teased her before that she stretches her toes out when she comes, but this time they’re both only watching the view in the mirror, as her eyes widen and then snap shut, as her hips spasm forward, and he works her over with his fingers, making her come fast and hard. All the while she can feel him in back-he’s practically dry humping against her ass and it all feels so good. She can barely wait to get him inside her.
Leslie didn’t just really like sleeping with her boss…at this point, she’s pretty sure she loved it.
Loves him.
Yep. She is definitely head-over-heels in love with Ben Wyatt, her still technically-boss and her partner in last-minute leg shaving.
"Come on,” Ben grabs her hand as soon as she gets both feet on the floor, then starts leading her to the bedroom, neither of them caring about her still-wet leg.
“I’m pretty sure we’re not going to need that Martha Washington book.”
2. Valentine's Day 2014
They’re making their way down the City Hall corridor late in the afternoon, Leslie on her way back to the Parks Department, Ben to the City Manager’s office.
“Are you still wearing them?” She questions him as they walk.
Ben smiles. “Of course I am.”
“Show me.”
“Now?” He asks, a slightly surprised look on his face.
“Yeah.”
“You saw me put them on this morning. Do you honestly think I went home at lunch and changed?”
“No, but I want to see,” Leslie says, stopping them and grabbing his hand. She leads him down a quiet corridor near the Council Room. But instead of sadness, she just feels proud of her short legacy on Pawnee’s City Council.
“Come on. It’s Valentine’s Day,” Leslie adds. “Show me your present.”
Ben gives her a questioning look, then looks around the deserted hallway, and unzips his pants. And yep, he’s definitely still wearing the festive dark blue boxers with little red hearts all over them.
But, also when he shows Leslie his new heart-themed underwear that she had given him a couple of days ago for the occasion, as soon as he gets his pants open, the head of his dick also pops out the slit in the front of the boxers…almost as if to say Hi! and wish everyone a happy Valentine’s Day as well.
“Whoa!”
“Oh my god,” Ben says, trying to get everything back inside and his pants, while Leslie just laughs, her eyes wide and her hand over her mouth.
And honestly, it’s the first time she’s really laughed since Ann and Chris moved away, just a couple of weeks ago. It feels good. Great, even.
“I did not mean for-” he tries to explain but is interrupted. “It just fell out.”
“Ms. Knope. Mr. Wyatt.”
Ben and Leslie both look up to see Councilman Howser a few feet away, staring at them as Ben gets himself together and zips up his pants.
“I…uh. Oh. Hi. Hello. This is not what…uh…Hey, how about those Colts?” Ben manages to stammer out, nodding, while Leslie just keeps giggling even louder right beside him.
After Councilman Howser walks away, clearly confused by what he just saw and heard (although really, Leslie reasons, the City Manager exposing himself can’t be the strangest thing that Councilman Howser’s ever seen in the hallway), Ben turns towards the wall and leans his head against it. “Oh god. I can’t believe that happened. I-”
Leslie rubs her hand against his back soothingly and manages to get out, “It’s okay, babe. I’ve actually seen his penis before at work too.”
3. Pie-Mary post-ep
“Are you sure you’re okay baking a pie for this thing?” Ben asks again as they sit together on the couch. “Because you really, really don’t have-”
“It’s fine,” Leslie replies, cutting him off. “I mean, of course this whole thing is stupid. And ridiculous. But that’s not your fault and it’s not fair that my not participating in this antiquated, offensive tradition is going to hurt your campaign. And that people will be talking about me and not your platform-a platform that is entirely progressive on women’s rights. And it’s not fair that voters think I’m making a statement about women who bake,” she says, taking a breath. “I mean, I like baking. I love baking! And I make amazing pie. Ask anyone!”
Ben nods at her. “You do make amazing pie. You could ask me.”
“I know!” Leslie agrees. “Okay. It’s fine. I’ll just enter this dumb contest and wipe the floor with June Hartwell and her buttermilk meringue. I’m talking total pie domination here.”
“I have no doubt,” Ben stretches forward for a kiss but before their lips meet, Leslie starts talking again.
“But seriously, Ben. What’s next? Line us all up and see who can sew buttons on our husband’s shirts first? A kitchen floor mop-off? A competition on who can make the best martini and then be standing by the door quietly holding a pair of slippers for when you come home at night?” Leslie rolls her eyes, clearly still worked up over the Pie Mary contest.
“I…” Ben shakes his head and trails off. He really doesn’t know what else to say.
Of course he’s in total agreement with Leslie and could tell her again that he understands and supports whatever decision she makes, but sometimes it’s best to just let her get everything out when she’s feeling all passionate about something-especially when she’s completely right.
Besides, it really turns him on when she gets all wound up about something.
“I know,” she continues, “we can see which congressional candidate’s wife can load a dishwasher most efficiently.”
Ben gives her a look.
“Don’t say anything,” she warns him, a grin breaking out over her face. He quickly returns it. “Oh, here’s one,” she lowers her voice, “maybe there’ll be a contest to see which wife can give the best blow job.”
“Hmmmm….” Ben responds. “Okay now, hold on. Tell me more about-”
Leslie cuts him off with a kiss. When she pulls away, she’s smiling again. “And you better believe that I would win that one too.”
“Oh, there’s no doubt in my mind,” Ben agrees, nodding.
“I mean, sure, I’d lose the dishwasher one but…” she raises her eyebrow at him.
“Trust me, I am fine with that. But, um, maybe we should practice later. Just in case?”
Leslie snorts in amusement. “Loading the dishwasher?”
Ben tugs her closer, so their faces are close together, both of them smiling flirtily. “Yeah. I’ll show you how to fit it all in and get everything clean. And if you don’t pay attention to your husband, I’ll have to pull you across my lap for a sp-”
“Mommy!” Sonia’s yell carries down the stairs making them both laugh at the sudden intrusion.
“Okay. I’m going to bring the kids a snack and then I think it’s my turn to put them down for a nap. Hopefully it’ll only take two stories and no one will have a meltdown this time.”
“Right,” Ben follows her up off the couch. “And I’ll go to the store and get everything you’ll need for a pie. You thinking apple?” Ben asks.
Leslie nods. “Yeah. But get a mix of-”
“Red and green. Babe…I may have a penis, but I know a thing or two about apple pie making. Oh and I’ll pick up some chops for dinner too. So dust off your copy of The Feminine Mesquite…daddy’s grillin’ tonight.”
4. the first time Ben held the triplets
Ben is in the nursery, looking down at the babies in quiet disbelief when it happens.
One of them-Wesley, starts to cry (and he’s about ninety-eight percent sure it’s Wesley because he’s swaddled up in a striped blanket, while his brother is wrapped up all snugly in a plaid one-their short-term strategy for boy-baby-identification).
It’s a small, tiny cry that still seems a little unreal to Ben’s ears. Like, he kind of can’t yet fully process the fact that he’s a father and that these are his and Leslie’s four-day old triplets. And the memory of the birth just a few days ago, of holding Leslie’s hand during the c-section, or even cutting his daughter’s umbilical cord seems like a completely unreal, made-up event.
That can’t possibly have happened, right? But it must have, because there are three strange and beautiful babies living in their house now.
They’ve been home from the hospital for less than twenty-four hours and this is honestly the first time he’s been completely alone in a room with their kids. Before, at least Leslie, or a nurse, one of their moms, or even Ann has been around too but right now, Leslie is asleep in the bedroom and he thinks his mom and Marlene are downstairs bonding over grandmother stuff.
It’s just Ben and Wesley is crying and his first impulse is to go get someone to help because what the hell is he supposed to even do?
“Hey,” Ben says softly, leaning over the crib and putting his hand down softly on a little tummy. “What’s wrong, buddy?”
The baby just keeps crying.
“You just ate, so I know it can’t be that,” Ben tells him. The he leans down and sniffs. “And I don’t think it’s your diaper,” he reasons next.
Should he pick him up? Of course he’s held all of his children since Saturday and even held other babies before-changed diapers and everything, but there’s always been someone watching to give him advice or just offer reassurance.
But if he doesn’t do something soon, Wes is going to wake up his brother and sister or, maybe even Leslie and he really, really wants her to be able to get some sleep-even if it’s just for an hour. So…
Carefully, Ben reaches down and slides his hands under the little, fussy form and gently lifts his son up, just like Ann and their baby nurse at the hospital showed them (but he’d never actually attempted on his own yet), and holds the still noisy infant against his body. He’s seems so light and fragile and just like every other time he’s held one of their babies, Ben is completely scared out of his mind that he’s going to drop him, so he just slowly and deliberately takes the three short steps to the rocking chair and sits down.
And then he releases a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.
He readjusts a bit and cradles Wesley in his arms, being careful of his fontanel and still-forming head (because that is completely terrifying) and looks down at his son. He’s no longer crying but staring up at Ben with tiny, sleepy slits for eyes and a weird, unreadable expression on his little old-man, baby face.
“Hi.”
Ben looks up, momentarily confused, to see his mom standing in the doorway.
“He was crying so I picked him up.”
Julia nods and smiles. And then looks like she’s going to start crying.
“Oh. Should I have done something else?” Ben asks.
“No, that’s perfect,” she responds in a voice slightly above a whisper. “You just look…with your son…I’m so proud of you, honey.” His mom gets her phone out of her pocket and takes a picture. “So I can show Leslie when she wakes up.”
Ben smiles back. Great. Now he’s probably going to cry too. But at least Wesley seems completely content and quiet nestled in his arms.
5. Ben and Leslie buying their new house/moving out of the old one
Ben pulls the car up to the curb and turns off the engine. When he looks at her, it’s with an excited, expectant expression on his face.
“What?” Leslie looks around this pleasant, northeast Pawnee neighborhood. “What are we doing?” She thought they were going to JJ’s for lunch. This is obviously not JJ’s.
“Well, um, this is our new house. If you like it. Nothing has been signed and-”
“What?” She repeats. Leslie stares at Ben and then out the window at the brown and tan mid-century bungalow they’re parked in front of.
Their new house?
Ben smiles. “We have a lot of kids,” he starts, and it’s funny because a lot of their sentences to one another have been starting this way lately. “And only three bedrooms and two bathrooms.”
Leslie nods, not quite knowing what else to say yet. He’s right, that’s all true.
“And while that works now, when they’re only 10 months old, soon we’re definitely going to need more room. And more bathrooms. And our lease is up next month.”
“So you found us a house?”
“I asked Donna to keep an eye out for something bigger that she thought we might like and this just came on the market. It doesn’t even have a For Sale sign up yet.”
Leslie stares at Ben and then back at the house again.
It has trees in the yard, big ones that are just starting to turn shades of red and gold, and a long walkway she can imagine Sonia, Wesley, and Stephen laughing and running up after school, leaving the house for future trick or treating, and it’s certainly cute but…
"It has five bedrooms and four bathrooms, a fireplace, hardwood floors, and a large soaking tub in the master bathroom,” he tells her, interrupting her thoughts, before adding with a raise of his eyebrow, “Big enough for two.”
“I…” Leslie stops talking and looks back at the house.
“We can still have a home office type set-up in one of the bedrooms, you can have a craft room, and we can figure out the kids’ bedrooms as they get older. Oh and there’s an unfinished basement so we can always do something with that.” Ben pauses. “It’s only five blocks from Ramsett Park and Ann thought it was really nice, she thought you would like it.”
“Ann knows about it?” Leslie asks, surprised.
“I sent her photos to get her opinion yesterday when Donna first walked me through it. Oh and she said I should make sure I have good dance music on my phone for when we see it. I’m assuming you know what that means?”
Leslie laughs, feels her eyes start to fill with tears. “Yeah.”
“Oh, and Chris liked it too,” Ben tells her.
“But you saw it yesterday? When?”
“When I said I was going to the store. I was being sneaky,” he admits with a grin. “Well, and then I also really went to the store because we needed eggs.”
Leslie smiles back. “But Ben, I mean,” she stops for a second and takes it all in. What does she mean? He’s definitely right, they are going to need more room eventually and it is a very cute house, and of course beautiful Ann has great taste.
“We have wonderful memories at our current house,” he says, while she nods. “And the babies are…babies there.”
“We made the babies there,” Leslie adds softly.
“We did,” he takes her hand. “But, it’s a rental and we’ll make a lot of new memories at this house. The drive to JJ’s from here is only five minutes and we can walk to the park. And there’s a big back yard. And the price is really good. The current owners want to retire and move to Florida before the winter and…the price is really, really good.”
"So what you’re saying is that you want to buy me a discounted house?” She teases.
“Yes,” Ben agrees. “Because we have a lot of kids now,” he accents his familiar words by using a slow, deliberate tone that makes her laugh. “But I want you to see it and like it-love it,” he tells her. “I definitely want to make the decision together, but I thought I would do all the leg work. It’s only fair-you found us our first home.”
“Can we see inside? Now?” Despite the initial surprise, she’s actually starting to get really excited. A soaking tub for two? A fireplace? Five minutes from the best waffles in the whole world?
And if they got it now, they could probably be moved in by the holidays and have the the triplets’ second Christmas here.
“Yeah,” he takes out his phone. “Donna said she could meet us here if you liked it. She’s talked to Martha already and we can actually get them an offer today if you want.”
“Does my mom know this is why she’s watching the babies?”
“Yeah,” Ben admits. “She thinks you’ll like it too.” When Leslie makes a face, Ben tells her, “I showed her the photos while you were in the bathroom.”
Leslie laughs, as she unbuckles her seat belt. “Is there anyone besides me who doesn’t know about this?”
Ben thinks for a moment. “Orin has no idea we’re maybe buying a new house,” he says, but then shudders. “God at least I hope not. Do you think he can just tell stuff like that?”
6. Galentine's Day 2018
Ben is completely unprepared when Leslie and Sonia get home from brunch at one in the afternoon - a full hour before he was expecting them. He hasn’t even come up with a way to let Leslie know what’s happened yet.
Yep, he’s pretty much fucked.
“Hey babe.” His wife greets him from the door as Sonia runs over for a hug around his legs. Leslie puts down a big bag filled with Galentine’s Day presents from her lady friends.
“Hey. Hi. You came back,” he says, his arms around Sonia, while Leslie gives him a puzzled look. “I mean, of course you came back! Um, how was brunch? Done so early?”
“Well…” Leslie studies him. “Okay, what’s going on?”
Ben makes a scoffing noise. Yep. This is blowing up even faster than he thought it would. “Nothing. Why do you think-”
Just then, Stephen comes running down the stars. “Daddy, Ginger Cookie won’t sleep on her bed. She keeps trying to eat my sock. She’s silly.”
“Please don’t let her eat a sock,” Ben says quickly. “Go back upstairs and put your socks away. I need to talk to mommy.”
Leslie asks, “Why is a cookie trying to eat a sock?” while Sonia just stares wide-eyed at her parents and starts to giggle.
“Um, okay. So-”
“Ben, did you and the boys make breakfast and then go on a hike while Sonia and I were at Galentines Day?”
“We did! We made whole wheat banana pancakes and then we went on a hike for our father and sons’ celebration-wilderness-‘splosion with pancakes,” he makes sure to call it the full name that Leslie came up with. “Yep. We got some whole grains in the ol’ bellies and then sunshine and plenty of vitamin D. Kodaked the whole thing,” he tells her. Then his words speed up. “And um, then there was a situation and I didn’t know what to do and we accidentally brought a C-A-T home.”
It takes a second or two, while Leslie is just staring at Ben, that Sonia screams,“We have a kitty?” in obvious delight.
Ben stares at his daughter, then switches his gaze to Leslie. “Babe. Come on, stop teaching them to spell. We need to be able to spell things to each other.”
“I didn’t think C-A-T would be an issue. Ben, we need to talk about F-U-R-R-Y F-R-I-E-N-D-S,” they both turn to look at Sonia, who doesn’t seem to know what they’re discussing. “Before we-”
“I know. I know,” he agrees.
“Daddy,” a little hand tugs on his pants. “Can we name him Harry?”
Ben bends down. “Well, it’s a girl cat and she already has a couple of names honey, but I don’t see why we can’t add Harry. Go upstairs and meet the kitty, she’s with your brothers in your room.”
When he stands back up, Leslie is staring at him with an incredulous look on her face, while Sonia dashes up the stairs, so quickly that she almost falls.
“Careful,” Leslie and Ben both tell their daughter at the same time.
Ben starts talking first, before Leslie can. “Okay. I want to remind you that after the recall, you adopted five cats and I was very understanding and patient. And also, while you were campaigning, you adopted a whole shelter’s worth of animals and brought them to my house. And a pig ate my noise-canceling headphones. And April hid the snake in my bed that night. And Lady Bun Bun ended up peeing on my-”
She interrupts him. “How did a guy’s day out and a morning hike end up with us having a cat, Ben?”
“It’s a kitten. So, um, completely different. And of course as soon as they saw it, it was pretty much over. She’s actually really cute. Like a tiny orange fur ball with big green eyes…” he stops talking and sighs. “We found it. And you have to admit, if either one of us was going to break the no pets rule, you’d think it would have been you, right?”
“True. I am surprised at this turn of events,” Leslie agrees. “But still, couldn’t you have-”
“What? What exactly do you do when you find an adorable kitten and you have your two four year-olds with you? Plus, it looked like there was a mother cat nearby that was…” Ben trails off and widens his eyes, nods his head.
“What?”
“You know,” he does it again. “I think a dog or wild animal had-”
“Oh boy. Okay.”
“Yeah. See the problem? And I didn’t want them to see that so I distracted them-”
“With the kitten.”
“Yep. And then I also didn’t want to leave a poor defenseless animal alone in the park to be eaten by something.”
“Okay. That’s good, you’re very sweet.” Leslie sighs. “So we have a kitten. And there’s absolutely no way we can drop it off at the shelter now, right?”
“No. I think that ship has sailed,” Ben tells her. As if to cement this fact, their children’s squeals and giggles carry down the stairs. “We now have a kitten named…Hairy Ginger Cookie Corn Cob.”
Ben doesn’t mention that he’s been thinking the name Amy Pond would be a great fit for their new pet. Part of being a good dad is probably letting your kids pick the name of your new accidental cat and not overriding their choices with the names of Doctor Who characters.
“Hairy Ginger Cookie Corn Cob Knope-Wyatt,” Leslie repeats, nodding. “Yeah. Okay. That sounds like names that our kids would pick. But she really needs a title too.”
Ben makes a face. “A title?”
“Like Duchess or Madame.” Leslie clarifies, then walks over and takes his hand. “We can work on that later. Come on. Let’s go upstairs and you can introduce me to the new cat.”
7. “Can I kiss you?”
The question surprises Leslie at first, like this is some kind of days-gone-by era novel and Ben is just dropping her off on her doorstep and is asking for a polite peck on the cheek after dinner and dancing.
It’s a fairly intimate request, whispered with a smile, right up close to her face, like he didn’t already kiss her for the first time a couple of hours earlier in Chris’s office. Like he didn’t just have his mouth buried between her thighs moments ago. His question is sweet and endearing, all the more because his thick, dark hair is all messy and sticking up in all directions and it makes Leslie grin back while she nods.
He moves in slow and brushes his mouth lightly against hers, still smiling while they awkwardly and gently bump noses a bit at first. It’s fun, so they they rub noses together a couple of times, laughing quietly, and then Ben tilts his head slightly and nibbles on her lower lip, brings his hands up to her face and pulls her just a bit closer.
When Leslie opens her mouth, it takes her a second to realize that she tastes herself on his lips and tongue. The thought makes her moan slightly, and Ben pulls her closer, still kissing against her. Almost ending one and then opening his mouth again, deepening where they’re joined. It’s a really great kiss. Like, she can feel it in the way her stomach still flutters even though she just had an orgasm, feel it all the way down to her toes-the way Ben is surrounding her, holding onto her, moving against her face, making her want him all over again.
8. Ben and Sonia - Here’s a thing that happens in 2029
Ben starts the car’s engine up after Sonia buckles her seat belt.
“I still think this was weird.”
“What?”
“Why did you only take me for ice cream?”
“Because I wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay, but I’m 15, you could actually just come into my room and talk. You don’t have to bribe me with a scoop of double-chocolate chip like I’m six,” she says, then smiles brightly at him. “Of course, I always appreciate the double chocolate-chip. With extra chocolate chips on top.”
“You are your mother’s daughter,” Ben says with a laugh.
“Right,” Sonia agrees, takes a bite of her ice cream. “So…”
“What? Oh yeah, um, okay. Well, uh, Sonia. Sunny D, uh…” Ben pauses as he stops for a red light. “Just so you know, I’ve had this same sort of talk with each of your brothers.”
“Okay.”
“And I know mom is handling girl-stuff in general,” he looks at her and when she makes a face, he tries, “woman-stuff?”
“Oh god,” his daughter cringes. “Oh god. Dad. No. Please stop. You’re just going to embarrass yourself. Mom already-”
“Look, give me one minute to say this to you. Just enjoy your extra chocolate chips while you listen to me. It won’t be that bad. I promise.”
Sonia laughs nervously. “Alright.”
“Alright,” Ben repeats, takes a deep breath. “I love you. And I will always love you. And I’m sure your mom has said the same thing, but as you get older, you should never feel like you have to do something that you aren’t comfortable with, um, sex-wise. And also, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with women liking or wanting sex-it’s healthy and good. Sex is, uh…fun.” Ben makes a face, that was probably not the best word to use. Beautiful? Oh good lord…not that word. Mind-blowing? He shakes his head. No. No. Fun is fine…just move on.
Although he suddenly feels like he should take off his shoes?
No. He should probably not do that. He’s driving.
“Uh, Dad? Are you sure you want to end your talk on sex is fun?”
“Um, no. Right. There’s more-you are always in charge of your own body and it’s completely up to you when and if you want to share it with someone else. And I just want you to be happy and responsible and safe.”
“I know all of that. Really.”
“Okay. Well, good,” Ben agrees, as he pulls the car up to their house. “Thank you for letting me say all that. We both survived and you are now free from my embarrassing dad-talk.”
Sonia unbuckles her seat belt and moves over to give him a hug. “I love you too.”
9. How Long Has it Been?
“How long has it been?” He asks, before taking a sip of his wine.
“What?” Leslie replies, looking up from her spot in front of the counter, where she’s grating some Parmesan cheese.
“You know what,” Ben insists, leaving his wine on the kitchen table and walking over to the fridge.
"Well,” Leslie replies. “Funny you should ask. It was just last night.”
Ben shakes his head. “No it wasn’t. I was there all night and that did not at all happen.”
“Did I say last night? I meant the day before.”
“Nope. You did not eat a vegetable then either. That settles it. Tonight is the night.” Ben finally shuts the refrigerator door, his arms full of ingredients for dinner.
“But babe. Really? I mean, wouldn’t you rather…” Leslie starts walking towards him, a seductive smile on her face.
“Tell you what. For every bite of kale-”
“Oh god, no,” Leslie says. Not her nemesis kale!
“Yeah, it’s kale,” he shows her the produce bag in his hand. “For every bite of kale you eat…you get a kiss.”
“I can’t believe you’re using that system on me. Are you sure you’re not going to offer me stickers instead?”
Ben laughs, setting everything down near the cutting board. “Would you rather have some of the kids’ stickers?”
She considers this. The new bunny-themed ones they bought would look nice in her Easter scrapbook. But…”No. I want my kisses,” she says with an exaggerated pout.
“Okay. Then, for every bite of kale you eat, you get a kiss. And if you finish all of the kale off your plate…” Ben grabs her hand and tugs her to him where he’s leaning against the counter and whispers, “I’ll clean your plate,” softly in her ear.
Leslie pulls back, trying not to smile. “You’ll load the dishwasher?”
Ben laughs. “No. Well, yeah, because it’s my turn, but also, uh…I’ll…load you?”
She raises an eyebrow at him.
They’re both laughing when Ben pulls her hips to his and tries again. “If you clean your plate,” he pauses for a kiss near her ear, before he quietly says, “Well, let’s just say I think you’ll really like my mommy-reward system.”
Leslie giggles again and snuggles closer to him, as his arms wrap tighter around her waist.
"Hey, want to know what I’ll do to you if you eat a pear for dessert?” He asks. "It involves props."
“Mommy! Daddy! When’s dinner?”
Leslie and Ben both turn towards the little voice to see Sonia standing in the living room, staring at them expectantly.
“Soon. Go wash your hands and tell your brothers to wash up too,” Leslie tells her daughter.
The three year-old’s next question is, “What’s dinner?”
“Chicken and rice and kale,” Ben answers, fully prepared for pouts and complaints from the other vegetable-hating female in his life.
“Kale! Ew!”
“Oh, honey, it’s not that bad,” Leslie tells her daughter, slowly letting go of Ben’s hand as she walks towards the little girl. “Come on, let’s go find the boys and wash up. Then I can read a story while daddy finishes up dinner.”
Rating: Generally PG, but who knows?
Timeline: All over the place! From Season 3 to post-season 7.
1. Leslie shaves. Both she and Ben love it.
She’s frantically rummaging around her bathroom cabinets looking for the can of shaving gel when Leslie finally, thankfully, finds it stashed away behind a bottle of vanilla-scented bubble bath and a milk crate full of old, mismatched curlers.
Seeing that it’s mid-November and she hasn’t felt that motivated (or had the time) to do much leg maintenance the last couple of months, the tropical smelling gel had gotten pushed all the way in the back.
Why the hell couldn’t they have gotten back together in July? she thinks as she quickly unzips her pants, tugs them down, and then off. Nylons are next and then, she turns the warm water on and lifts her foot into the sink. She manages to slather her leg with the fragrant pineapple and mango-scented gel without making too much of a mess.
And of course, Leslie knows that Ben is probably not going to care that her legs are a little hairy. She knows this. If it were just a run-of-the-mill Thursday night, it’d be fine-they would probably laugh about it. Maybe he’d tease her a little, but it would be cute and funny. And then they’d fuck and it would be awesome.
But, it’s not a regular Thursday. It’s their first time back together and after that romantic and perfect kiss at the Smallest Park earlier in the evening and when she’s already feeling a little nervous and excited, she really doesn’t want to be self-conscious during the sure-to-be-amazing, Screw It! we’re-doing-this-thing-for-real, reunion sex that’s about to happen between her and Ben.
What it comes down to is this-no matter how silly it seems, she really wants to shave her legs before they get all naked together for the first time in…oh my god, she thinks, so many miserable, unnecessary, long months.
Right. So she looks around for her razor and-“Crap on a cupcake!”
It’s in the shower, on the other side of her cluttered bathroom. Leslie tries to delicately hobble over to the tub, without getting the now foamy shaving gel all over the bathroom floor, grabs the pink plastic razor from the caddy, and manages to get her foot back up and into the sink without tripping over her discarded pants when Ben knocks on the door.
“Um, hi. Is everything okay in there?”
“Yeah! Perfect! Out in just a few minutes!”
“But is something wrong? What’s happening?” He asks next and he even sounds a little worried.
“No. No. Nothing is wrong,” she manages to get out while she glides the razor up the front of her leg. “Hey. There’s a biography about Martha Washington on my bed, why don’t you read some of that for a few minutes. To uh…get you in the mood?” As soon as she says it she closes her eyes and shakes her head. That’s ridiculous even for her.
“Leslie, um, if the timing’s bad, you know, we can just cuddle or, um, if you don’t mind, I don’t mind if you’re-”
“No. No. It’s not that. It’s not…I’ll just be a minute or two more. It’s fine. Ow!” She nicks herself with the razor right near her ankle. Great.
"Okay, I’m going to come in-”
“Ben!”
He opens the door slowly with his hand over his eyes, his hair all messy from the making out earlier, his brown cardigan and striped tie already discarded and downstairs somewhere on her couch. “Hi. Are you okay? Can I help?”
She sighs and then smiles at him even though he can’t see her. “You’re very sweet. Fine. You can uncover your eyes.”
Ben pulls his hand away and takes the scene in-Leslie in just her blouse, already halfway unbuttoned from earlier, her plain black bra clearly visible, and a pair of red and white polka dot cotton panties, foot up in the sink, leg half-covered in white foam, pink razor in hand.
“Oh,” Ben gets out before bursting into quiet laughter. “I’m sorry. I…Okay.”
“I haven’t shaved my legs since late August,” she confesses.
He stares at her trying not to laugh again. He is not successful.
“It’s not that funny.” She says but it is…she knows it is. And then Leslie’s laughing too, finally releasing everything that’s been building up inside her chest since he first took her in his arms at their park.
"No. I know. Not at all amusing. It’s just…you’re not wearing any pants and you’re trying to sneakily shave your legs in the sink.”
“Do you have a point, Ben?” She asks, returning his grin.
“Yeah. This is really…cute. You’re really cute,” he says in a rush and then moves quickly behind her, puts his arms around her waist and tugs her back gently to kiss the side of her neck.
“Well, I still have one leg to go,” Leslie tells him, rinsing the current one off. “So it will be a couple of minutes.”
“You cut yourself,” Ben says, noticing the small trickle of blood from where she nicked herself earlier. He moves over, grabs a small piece of toilet paper, and presses it against the red spot. “Just leave that there while we do the other one.”
“We?” Leslie asks, and has to hold back a giggle.
She puts her foot back down on the floor and grabs a towel from where it hangs on the shower rod to quickly dry off her right leg. While she’s bent over, Ben holds onto her hips, lets his hands wander down and grope her ass a little.
“Yeah. I’ll help. It’s the least I can do.”
When she straightens back up, he’s looking at her in the mirror.
Ben picks up the can of gel. He’s smiling at her, taps her left hip impatiently. “Leg up.”
“Okay,” Leslie replies, putting her other foot in the sink, splashing a little water on her skin.
Ben squirts a line of the gel lightly over her leg below the knee, then starts smoothing it around with his palm, letting it foam up while she watches in the mirror. He’s right behind her and if she wiggles back a little, she can feel him growing hard in his pants, right where he’s pressed against her ass.
“Hold on. This is serious business,” he teases.
When he’s done lathering her up, he rinses his hand off and passes Leslie the pink plastic razor, before drying off on the towel. “Your turn.”
Ben’s hands stay on her hips as she quickly shaves and the few times she does look up, she watches them both in the mirror, their eyes meeting in the reflection.
Seeing herself like this, messy and half-naked, with Ben behind her is really sexy-the way his palms are cupping her hips, fingers pushing lightly into her where her shirt is hanging down and he’s just staring at her like he can’t wait to get her blouse unbuttoned the rest of the way and her underwear pulled down.
After the last swipe of the razor, she rinses her leg off, but before she can lift her foot out of the sink and her leg toweled off, Ben slides his hand around her right hip and right down the front of her panties.
”Oh.”
It’s been so long since she’s felt his fingers there. Too long. She thought about it while they were broken up, of course she did, but feeling the real thing again, she realizes just how incredibly her memory had paled in comparison.
Leslie closes her eyes at the sudden sensations-her stomach fluttering as his fingers tease past her curls, then sliding further, her raised leg giving him easy access to everything. Leslie’s leaning back against Ben and he feels so solid and warm, and he’s touching her clit and teasing her entrance and when she opens her eyes, Ben is watching her-them.
His eyes are all dark and full of desire and he’s got this quiet intensity to him that makes her want to shudder just from his gaze alone.
Lately, the looks directed at her have been more of the frustrated, hurt, and even angry variety-this is so much better. She’s so turned on, plus also relieved and happy and nervous and a million different emotions that are all coursing through her at once.
“I missed you so much,” she says simply and she has to fight to control her voice, so it doesn’t come out in a sob.
Ben just smiles, his features softening and he leans in and kisses her neck, right in the exact spot he knows makes her shiver, while his eyes never leave hers in the mirror. “I missed you too, Leslie.”
He tightens his other arm around her waist, holding her back against him and then pushes a finger inside where she’s already so wet and wanting him, his thumb brushing at her clit as she gasps and grinds against his fingers.
“I want to watch you come,” he whispers in her ear and yeah, she really wants to watch this too. “And then I want to go in the bedroom and bury myself inside you. I honestly never really stopped wanting to do that.”
She stops herself from saying that she’s sorry once again-a phrase she’s been repeating almost since they got in her car to come here.
She’s sorry they broke up.
She’s sorry she was all crazy the night of the Reasonablists. She’s sorry she said the romantic part of their relationship was over. She’s sorry she stole his pens and pencils (but no, he can’t have them back). She’s sorry for not listening to what he wanted. All while Ben kept telling her quietly to stop-that he didn’t care about any of that anymore.
So instead, she just agrees with him. Leslie nods her head as she leans back against him, letting him support her, enjoying the feel of his body, his arm holding her close, his fingers playing with her body.
“Yeah. Yeah. We should definitely do…Ohhhhh.”
Her eyes snap shut when he hits a certain spot, his thumb still rubbing softly against her clit, flicking gently against the bundle of nerves, and she can feel the pleasurable waves start to spread.
He’s teased her before that she stretches her toes out when she comes, but this time they’re both only watching the view in the mirror, as her eyes widen and then snap shut, as her hips spasm forward, and he works her over with his fingers, making her come fast and hard. All the while she can feel him in back-he’s practically dry humping against her ass and it all feels so good. She can barely wait to get him inside her.
Leslie didn’t just really like sleeping with her boss…at this point, she’s pretty sure she loved it.
Loves him.
Yep. She is definitely head-over-heels in love with Ben Wyatt, her still technically-boss and her partner in last-minute leg shaving.
"Come on,” Ben grabs her hand as soon as she gets both feet on the floor, then starts leading her to the bedroom, neither of them caring about her still-wet leg.
“I’m pretty sure we’re not going to need that Martha Washington book.”
2. Valentine's Day 2014
They’re making their way down the City Hall corridor late in the afternoon, Leslie on her way back to the Parks Department, Ben to the City Manager’s office.
“Are you still wearing them?” She questions him as they walk.
Ben smiles. “Of course I am.”
“Show me.”
“Now?” He asks, a slightly surprised look on his face.
“Yeah.”
“You saw me put them on this morning. Do you honestly think I went home at lunch and changed?”
“No, but I want to see,” Leslie says, stopping them and grabbing his hand. She leads him down a quiet corridor near the Council Room. But instead of sadness, she just feels proud of her short legacy on Pawnee’s City Council.
“Come on. It’s Valentine’s Day,” Leslie adds. “Show me your present.”
Ben gives her a questioning look, then looks around the deserted hallway, and unzips his pants. And yep, he’s definitely still wearing the festive dark blue boxers with little red hearts all over them.
But, also when he shows Leslie his new heart-themed underwear that she had given him a couple of days ago for the occasion, as soon as he gets his pants open, the head of his dick also pops out the slit in the front of the boxers…almost as if to say Hi! and wish everyone a happy Valentine’s Day as well.
“Whoa!”
“Oh my god,” Ben says, trying to get everything back inside and his pants, while Leslie just laughs, her eyes wide and her hand over her mouth.
And honestly, it’s the first time she’s really laughed since Ann and Chris moved away, just a couple of weeks ago. It feels good. Great, even.
“I did not mean for-” he tries to explain but is interrupted. “It just fell out.”
“Ms. Knope. Mr. Wyatt.”
Ben and Leslie both look up to see Councilman Howser a few feet away, staring at them as Ben gets himself together and zips up his pants.
“I…uh. Oh. Hi. Hello. This is not what…uh…Hey, how about those Colts?” Ben manages to stammer out, nodding, while Leslie just keeps giggling even louder right beside him.
After Councilman Howser walks away, clearly confused by what he just saw and heard (although really, Leslie reasons, the City Manager exposing himself can’t be the strangest thing that Councilman Howser’s ever seen in the hallway), Ben turns towards the wall and leans his head against it. “Oh god. I can’t believe that happened. I-”
Leslie rubs her hand against his back soothingly and manages to get out, “It’s okay, babe. I’ve actually seen his penis before at work too.”
3. Pie-Mary post-ep
“Are you sure you’re okay baking a pie for this thing?” Ben asks again as they sit together on the couch. “Because you really, really don’t have-”
“It’s fine,” Leslie replies, cutting him off. “I mean, of course this whole thing is stupid. And ridiculous. But that’s not your fault and it’s not fair that my not participating in this antiquated, offensive tradition is going to hurt your campaign. And that people will be talking about me and not your platform-a platform that is entirely progressive on women’s rights. And it’s not fair that voters think I’m making a statement about women who bake,” she says, taking a breath. “I mean, I like baking. I love baking! And I make amazing pie. Ask anyone!”
Ben nods at her. “You do make amazing pie. You could ask me.”
“I know!” Leslie agrees. “Okay. It’s fine. I’ll just enter this dumb contest and wipe the floor with June Hartwell and her buttermilk meringue. I’m talking total pie domination here.”
“I have no doubt,” Ben stretches forward for a kiss but before their lips meet, Leslie starts talking again.
“But seriously, Ben. What’s next? Line us all up and see who can sew buttons on our husband’s shirts first? A kitchen floor mop-off? A competition on who can make the best martini and then be standing by the door quietly holding a pair of slippers for when you come home at night?” Leslie rolls her eyes, clearly still worked up over the Pie Mary contest.
“I…” Ben shakes his head and trails off. He really doesn’t know what else to say.
Of course he’s in total agreement with Leslie and could tell her again that he understands and supports whatever decision she makes, but sometimes it’s best to just let her get everything out when she’s feeling all passionate about something-especially when she’s completely right.
Besides, it really turns him on when she gets all wound up about something.
“I know,” she continues, “we can see which congressional candidate’s wife can load a dishwasher most efficiently.”
Ben gives her a look.
“Don’t say anything,” she warns him, a grin breaking out over her face. He quickly returns it. “Oh, here’s one,” she lowers her voice, “maybe there’ll be a contest to see which wife can give the best blow job.”
“Hmmmm….” Ben responds. “Okay now, hold on. Tell me more about-”
Leslie cuts him off with a kiss. When she pulls away, she’s smiling again. “And you better believe that I would win that one too.”
“Oh, there’s no doubt in my mind,” Ben agrees, nodding.
“I mean, sure, I’d lose the dishwasher one but…” she raises her eyebrow at him.
“Trust me, I am fine with that. But, um, maybe we should practice later. Just in case?”
Leslie snorts in amusement. “Loading the dishwasher?”
Ben tugs her closer, so their faces are close together, both of them smiling flirtily. “Yeah. I’ll show you how to fit it all in and get everything clean. And if you don’t pay attention to your husband, I’ll have to pull you across my lap for a sp-”
“Mommy!” Sonia’s yell carries down the stairs making them both laugh at the sudden intrusion.
“Okay. I’m going to bring the kids a snack and then I think it’s my turn to put them down for a nap. Hopefully it’ll only take two stories and no one will have a meltdown this time.”
“Right,” Ben follows her up off the couch. “And I’ll go to the store and get everything you’ll need for a pie. You thinking apple?” Ben asks.
Leslie nods. “Yeah. But get a mix of-”
“Red and green. Babe…I may have a penis, but I know a thing or two about apple pie making. Oh and I’ll pick up some chops for dinner too. So dust off your copy of The Feminine Mesquite…daddy’s grillin’ tonight.”
4. the first time Ben held the triplets
Ben is in the nursery, looking down at the babies in quiet disbelief when it happens.
One of them-Wesley, starts to cry (and he’s about ninety-eight percent sure it’s Wesley because he’s swaddled up in a striped blanket, while his brother is wrapped up all snugly in a plaid one-their short-term strategy for boy-baby-identification).
It’s a small, tiny cry that still seems a little unreal to Ben’s ears. Like, he kind of can’t yet fully process the fact that he’s a father and that these are his and Leslie’s four-day old triplets. And the memory of the birth just a few days ago, of holding Leslie’s hand during the c-section, or even cutting his daughter’s umbilical cord seems like a completely unreal, made-up event.
That can’t possibly have happened, right? But it must have, because there are three strange and beautiful babies living in their house now.
They’ve been home from the hospital for less than twenty-four hours and this is honestly the first time he’s been completely alone in a room with their kids. Before, at least Leslie, or a nurse, one of their moms, or even Ann has been around too but right now, Leslie is asleep in the bedroom and he thinks his mom and Marlene are downstairs bonding over grandmother stuff.
It’s just Ben and Wesley is crying and his first impulse is to go get someone to help because what the hell is he supposed to even do?
“Hey,” Ben says softly, leaning over the crib and putting his hand down softly on a little tummy. “What’s wrong, buddy?”
The baby just keeps crying.
“You just ate, so I know it can’t be that,” Ben tells him. The he leans down and sniffs. “And I don’t think it’s your diaper,” he reasons next.
Should he pick him up? Of course he’s held all of his children since Saturday and even held other babies before-changed diapers and everything, but there’s always been someone watching to give him advice or just offer reassurance.
But if he doesn’t do something soon, Wes is going to wake up his brother and sister or, maybe even Leslie and he really, really wants her to be able to get some sleep-even if it’s just for an hour. So…
Carefully, Ben reaches down and slides his hands under the little, fussy form and gently lifts his son up, just like Ann and their baby nurse at the hospital showed them (but he’d never actually attempted on his own yet), and holds the still noisy infant against his body. He’s seems so light and fragile and just like every other time he’s held one of their babies, Ben is completely scared out of his mind that he’s going to drop him, so he just slowly and deliberately takes the three short steps to the rocking chair and sits down.
And then he releases a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.
He readjusts a bit and cradles Wesley in his arms, being careful of his fontanel and still-forming head (because that is completely terrifying) and looks down at his son. He’s no longer crying but staring up at Ben with tiny, sleepy slits for eyes and a weird, unreadable expression on his little old-man, baby face.
“Hi.”
Ben looks up, momentarily confused, to see his mom standing in the doorway.
“He was crying so I picked him up.”
Julia nods and smiles. And then looks like she’s going to start crying.
“Oh. Should I have done something else?” Ben asks.
“No, that’s perfect,” she responds in a voice slightly above a whisper. “You just look…with your son…I’m so proud of you, honey.” His mom gets her phone out of her pocket and takes a picture. “So I can show Leslie when she wakes up.”
Ben smiles back. Great. Now he’s probably going to cry too. But at least Wesley seems completely content and quiet nestled in his arms.
5. Ben and Leslie buying their new house/moving out of the old one
Ben pulls the car up to the curb and turns off the engine. When he looks at her, it’s with an excited, expectant expression on his face.
“What?” Leslie looks around this pleasant, northeast Pawnee neighborhood. “What are we doing?” She thought they were going to JJ’s for lunch. This is obviously not JJ’s.
“Well, um, this is our new house. If you like it. Nothing has been signed and-”
“What?” She repeats. Leslie stares at Ben and then out the window at the brown and tan mid-century bungalow they’re parked in front of.
Their new house?
Ben smiles. “We have a lot of kids,” he starts, and it’s funny because a lot of their sentences to one another have been starting this way lately. “And only three bedrooms and two bathrooms.”
Leslie nods, not quite knowing what else to say yet. He’s right, that’s all true.
“And while that works now, when they’re only 10 months old, soon we’re definitely going to need more room. And more bathrooms. And our lease is up next month.”
“So you found us a house?”
“I asked Donna to keep an eye out for something bigger that she thought we might like and this just came on the market. It doesn’t even have a For Sale sign up yet.”
Leslie stares at Ben and then back at the house again.
It has trees in the yard, big ones that are just starting to turn shades of red and gold, and a long walkway she can imagine Sonia, Wesley, and Stephen laughing and running up after school, leaving the house for future trick or treating, and it’s certainly cute but…
"It has five bedrooms and four bathrooms, a fireplace, hardwood floors, and a large soaking tub in the master bathroom,” he tells her, interrupting her thoughts, before adding with a raise of his eyebrow, “Big enough for two.”
“I…” Leslie stops talking and looks back at the house.
“We can still have a home office type set-up in one of the bedrooms, you can have a craft room, and we can figure out the kids’ bedrooms as they get older. Oh and there’s an unfinished basement so we can always do something with that.” Ben pauses. “It’s only five blocks from Ramsett Park and Ann thought it was really nice, she thought you would like it.”
“Ann knows about it?” Leslie asks, surprised.
“I sent her photos to get her opinion yesterday when Donna first walked me through it. Oh and she said I should make sure I have good dance music on my phone for when we see it. I’m assuming you know what that means?”
Leslie laughs, feels her eyes start to fill with tears. “Yeah.”
“Oh, and Chris liked it too,” Ben tells her.
“But you saw it yesterday? When?”
“When I said I was going to the store. I was being sneaky,” he admits with a grin. “Well, and then I also really went to the store because we needed eggs.”
Leslie smiles back. “But Ben, I mean,” she stops for a second and takes it all in. What does she mean? He’s definitely right, they are going to need more room eventually and it is a very cute house, and of course beautiful Ann has great taste.
“We have wonderful memories at our current house,” he says, while she nods. “And the babies are…babies there.”
“We made the babies there,” Leslie adds softly.
“We did,” he takes her hand. “But, it’s a rental and we’ll make a lot of new memories at this house. The drive to JJ’s from here is only five minutes and we can walk to the park. And there’s a big back yard. And the price is really good. The current owners want to retire and move to Florida before the winter and…the price is really, really good.”
"So what you’re saying is that you want to buy me a discounted house?” She teases.
“Yes,” Ben agrees. “Because we have a lot of kids now,” he accents his familiar words by using a slow, deliberate tone that makes her laugh. “But I want you to see it and like it-love it,” he tells her. “I definitely want to make the decision together, but I thought I would do all the leg work. It’s only fair-you found us our first home.”
“Can we see inside? Now?” Despite the initial surprise, she’s actually starting to get really excited. A soaking tub for two? A fireplace? Five minutes from the best waffles in the whole world?
And if they got it now, they could probably be moved in by the holidays and have the the triplets’ second Christmas here.
“Yeah,” he takes out his phone. “Donna said she could meet us here if you liked it. She’s talked to Martha already and we can actually get them an offer today if you want.”
“Does my mom know this is why she’s watching the babies?”
“Yeah,” Ben admits. “She thinks you’ll like it too.” When Leslie makes a face, Ben tells her, “I showed her the photos while you were in the bathroom.”
Leslie laughs, as she unbuckles her seat belt. “Is there anyone besides me who doesn’t know about this?”
Ben thinks for a moment. “Orin has no idea we’re maybe buying a new house,” he says, but then shudders. “God at least I hope not. Do you think he can just tell stuff like that?”
6. Galentine's Day 2018
Ben is completely unprepared when Leslie and Sonia get home from brunch at one in the afternoon - a full hour before he was expecting them. He hasn’t even come up with a way to let Leslie know what’s happened yet.
Yep, he’s pretty much fucked.
“Hey babe.” His wife greets him from the door as Sonia runs over for a hug around his legs. Leslie puts down a big bag filled with Galentine’s Day presents from her lady friends.
“Hey. Hi. You came back,” he says, his arms around Sonia, while Leslie gives him a puzzled look. “I mean, of course you came back! Um, how was brunch? Done so early?”
“Well…” Leslie studies him. “Okay, what’s going on?”
Ben makes a scoffing noise. Yep. This is blowing up even faster than he thought it would. “Nothing. Why do you think-”
Just then, Stephen comes running down the stars. “Daddy, Ginger Cookie won’t sleep on her bed. She keeps trying to eat my sock. She’s silly.”
“Please don’t let her eat a sock,” Ben says quickly. “Go back upstairs and put your socks away. I need to talk to mommy.”
Leslie asks, “Why is a cookie trying to eat a sock?” while Sonia just stares wide-eyed at her parents and starts to giggle.
“Um, okay. So-”
“Ben, did you and the boys make breakfast and then go on a hike while Sonia and I were at Galentines Day?”
“We did! We made whole wheat banana pancakes and then we went on a hike for our father and sons’ celebration-wilderness-‘splosion with pancakes,” he makes sure to call it the full name that Leslie came up with. “Yep. We got some whole grains in the ol’ bellies and then sunshine and plenty of vitamin D. Kodaked the whole thing,” he tells her. Then his words speed up. “And um, then there was a situation and I didn’t know what to do and we accidentally brought a C-A-T home.”
It takes a second or two, while Leslie is just staring at Ben, that Sonia screams,“We have a kitty?” in obvious delight.
Ben stares at his daughter, then switches his gaze to Leslie. “Babe. Come on, stop teaching them to spell. We need to be able to spell things to each other.”
“I didn’t think C-A-T would be an issue. Ben, we need to talk about F-U-R-R-Y F-R-I-E-N-D-S,” they both turn to look at Sonia, who doesn’t seem to know what they’re discussing. “Before we-”
“I know. I know,” he agrees.
“Daddy,” a little hand tugs on his pants. “Can we name him Harry?”
Ben bends down. “Well, it’s a girl cat and she already has a couple of names honey, but I don’t see why we can’t add Harry. Go upstairs and meet the kitty, she’s with your brothers in your room.”
When he stands back up, Leslie is staring at him with an incredulous look on her face, while Sonia dashes up the stairs, so quickly that she almost falls.
“Careful,” Leslie and Ben both tell their daughter at the same time.
Ben starts talking first, before Leslie can. “Okay. I want to remind you that after the recall, you adopted five cats and I was very understanding and patient. And also, while you were campaigning, you adopted a whole shelter’s worth of animals and brought them to my house. And a pig ate my noise-canceling headphones. And April hid the snake in my bed that night. And Lady Bun Bun ended up peeing on my-”
She interrupts him. “How did a guy’s day out and a morning hike end up with us having a cat, Ben?”
“It’s a kitten. So, um, completely different. And of course as soon as they saw it, it was pretty much over. She’s actually really cute. Like a tiny orange fur ball with big green eyes…” he stops talking and sighs. “We found it. And you have to admit, if either one of us was going to break the no pets rule, you’d think it would have been you, right?”
“True. I am surprised at this turn of events,” Leslie agrees. “But still, couldn’t you have-”
“What? What exactly do you do when you find an adorable kitten and you have your two four year-olds with you? Plus, it looked like there was a mother cat nearby that was…” Ben trails off and widens his eyes, nods his head.
“What?”
“You know,” he does it again. “I think a dog or wild animal had-”
“Oh boy. Okay.”
“Yeah. See the problem? And I didn’t want them to see that so I distracted them-”
“With the kitten.”
“Yep. And then I also didn’t want to leave a poor defenseless animal alone in the park to be eaten by something.”
“Okay. That’s good, you’re very sweet.” Leslie sighs. “So we have a kitten. And there’s absolutely no way we can drop it off at the shelter now, right?”
“No. I think that ship has sailed,” Ben tells her. As if to cement this fact, their children’s squeals and giggles carry down the stairs. “We now have a kitten named…Hairy Ginger Cookie Corn Cob.”
Ben doesn’t mention that he’s been thinking the name Amy Pond would be a great fit for their new pet. Part of being a good dad is probably letting your kids pick the name of your new accidental cat and not overriding their choices with the names of Doctor Who characters.
“Hairy Ginger Cookie Corn Cob Knope-Wyatt,” Leslie repeats, nodding. “Yeah. Okay. That sounds like names that our kids would pick. But she really needs a title too.”
Ben makes a face. “A title?”
“Like Duchess or Madame.” Leslie clarifies, then walks over and takes his hand. “We can work on that later. Come on. Let’s go upstairs and you can introduce me to the new cat.”
7. “Can I kiss you?”
The question surprises Leslie at first, like this is some kind of days-gone-by era novel and Ben is just dropping her off on her doorstep and is asking for a polite peck on the cheek after dinner and dancing.
It’s a fairly intimate request, whispered with a smile, right up close to her face, like he didn’t already kiss her for the first time a couple of hours earlier in Chris’s office. Like he didn’t just have his mouth buried between her thighs moments ago. His question is sweet and endearing, all the more because his thick, dark hair is all messy and sticking up in all directions and it makes Leslie grin back while she nods.
He moves in slow and brushes his mouth lightly against hers, still smiling while they awkwardly and gently bump noses a bit at first. It’s fun, so they they rub noses together a couple of times, laughing quietly, and then Ben tilts his head slightly and nibbles on her lower lip, brings his hands up to her face and pulls her just a bit closer.
When Leslie opens her mouth, it takes her a second to realize that she tastes herself on his lips and tongue. The thought makes her moan slightly, and Ben pulls her closer, still kissing against her. Almost ending one and then opening his mouth again, deepening where they’re joined. It’s a really great kiss. Like, she can feel it in the way her stomach still flutters even though she just had an orgasm, feel it all the way down to her toes-the way Ben is surrounding her, holding onto her, moving against her face, making her want him all over again.
8. Ben and Sonia - Here’s a thing that happens in 2029
Ben starts the car’s engine up after Sonia buckles her seat belt.
“I still think this was weird.”
“What?”
“Why did you only take me for ice cream?”
“Because I wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay, but I’m 15, you could actually just come into my room and talk. You don’t have to bribe me with a scoop of double-chocolate chip like I’m six,” she says, then smiles brightly at him. “Of course, I always appreciate the double chocolate-chip. With extra chocolate chips on top.”
“You are your mother’s daughter,” Ben says with a laugh.
“Right,” Sonia agrees, takes a bite of her ice cream. “So…”
“What? Oh yeah, um, okay. Well, uh, Sonia. Sunny D, uh…” Ben pauses as he stops for a red light. “Just so you know, I’ve had this same sort of talk with each of your brothers.”
“Okay.”
“And I know mom is handling girl-stuff in general,” he looks at her and when she makes a face, he tries, “woman-stuff?”
“Oh god,” his daughter cringes. “Oh god. Dad. No. Please stop. You’re just going to embarrass yourself. Mom already-”
“Look, give me one minute to say this to you. Just enjoy your extra chocolate chips while you listen to me. It won’t be that bad. I promise.”
Sonia laughs nervously. “Alright.”
“Alright,” Ben repeats, takes a deep breath. “I love you. And I will always love you. And I’m sure your mom has said the same thing, but as you get older, you should never feel like you have to do something that you aren’t comfortable with, um, sex-wise. And also, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with women liking or wanting sex-it’s healthy and good. Sex is, uh…fun.” Ben makes a face, that was probably not the best word to use. Beautiful? Oh good lord…not that word. Mind-blowing? He shakes his head. No. No. Fun is fine…just move on.
Although he suddenly feels like he should take off his shoes?
No. He should probably not do that. He’s driving.
“Uh, Dad? Are you sure you want to end your talk on sex is fun?”
“Um, no. Right. There’s more-you are always in charge of your own body and it’s completely up to you when and if you want to share it with someone else. And I just want you to be happy and responsible and safe.”
“I know all of that. Really.”
“Okay. Well, good,” Ben agrees, as he pulls the car up to their house. “Thank you for letting me say all that. We both survived and you are now free from my embarrassing dad-talk.”
Sonia unbuckles her seat belt and moves over to give him a hug. “I love you too.”
9. How Long Has it Been?
“How long has it been?” He asks, before taking a sip of his wine.
“What?” Leslie replies, looking up from her spot in front of the counter, where she’s grating some Parmesan cheese.
“You know what,” Ben insists, leaving his wine on the kitchen table and walking over to the fridge.
"Well,” Leslie replies. “Funny you should ask. It was just last night.”
Ben shakes his head. “No it wasn’t. I was there all night and that did not at all happen.”
“Did I say last night? I meant the day before.”
“Nope. You did not eat a vegetable then either. That settles it. Tonight is the night.” Ben finally shuts the refrigerator door, his arms full of ingredients for dinner.
“But babe. Really? I mean, wouldn’t you rather…” Leslie starts walking towards him, a seductive smile on her face.
“Tell you what. For every bite of kale-”
“Oh god, no,” Leslie says. Not her nemesis kale!
“Yeah, it’s kale,” he shows her the produce bag in his hand. “For every bite of kale you eat…you get a kiss.”
“I can’t believe you’re using that system on me. Are you sure you’re not going to offer me stickers instead?”
Ben laughs, setting everything down near the cutting board. “Would you rather have some of the kids’ stickers?”
She considers this. The new bunny-themed ones they bought would look nice in her Easter scrapbook. But…”No. I want my kisses,” she says with an exaggerated pout.
“Okay. Then, for every bite of kale you eat, you get a kiss. And if you finish all of the kale off your plate…” Ben grabs her hand and tugs her to him where he’s leaning against the counter and whispers, “I’ll clean your plate,” softly in her ear.
Leslie pulls back, trying not to smile. “You’ll load the dishwasher?”
Ben laughs. “No. Well, yeah, because it’s my turn, but also, uh…I’ll…load you?”
She raises an eyebrow at him.
They’re both laughing when Ben pulls her hips to his and tries again. “If you clean your plate,” he pauses for a kiss near her ear, before he quietly says, “Well, let’s just say I think you’ll really like my mommy-reward system.”
Leslie giggles again and snuggles closer to him, as his arms wrap tighter around her waist.
"Hey, want to know what I’ll do to you if you eat a pear for dessert?” He asks. "It involves props."
“Mommy! Daddy! When’s dinner?”
Leslie and Ben both turn towards the little voice to see Sonia standing in the living room, staring at them expectantly.
“Soon. Go wash your hands and tell your brothers to wash up too,” Leslie tells her daughter.
The three year-old’s next question is, “What’s dinner?”
“Chicken and rice and kale,” Ben answers, fully prepared for pouts and complaints from the other vegetable-hating female in his life.
“Kale! Ew!”
“Oh, honey, it’s not that bad,” Leslie tells her daughter, slowly letting go of Ben’s hand as she walks towards the little girl. “Come on, let’s go find the boys and wash up. Then I can read a story while daddy finishes up dinner.”